Protected/Safe Sex - is there really such a thing?

[Christopher2012]

Now, I know there are probably dozens of threads on "How To" use protection, what protection to use, etc.

However, I've been thinking lately. You know, growing up I always knew about pregnancy and STD's and the simple solution was condoms. Condoms condoms condoms! That's the solution to everything.

But now that I've been in some situations in which actual sex with have to affect me, it's becoming more and more clear - there's really no such thing as protection. And my question will either prove or disprove my fears.

Who out there actually uses protection when doing oral? If you were to meet somebody and didn't really get to know them and wanted a quick fling, do you use protection just to blow a guy or just to eat a woman out? How about kissing? Herpes of the mouth is apparently more contagious than genital herpes.

It just boggles my mind how many people are fearless when it comes to this. People parade around all the time, "Safe sex! Safe sex! Safe sex!" But really... is there a such thing?

And keep in mind, this question isn't about the game of statistics. Of course, condoms can fail and even still there's a risk for pregnancy and transmission. This isn't about that. This is about oral sex mainly and how many people actually use measure of protection then.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Safe sex is all about using that three pound lump between your ears. If you're not going to use your brain, then no amount of prophylactic protection is going to help you. It is my opinion that you should know your partner better before sexual contact ever begins. How extreme you take your own safety will be up to you.

 

[justherhusband]

It's probably just me, but I would rather do without oral (giving or receiving) if there had to be "protection" involved. I also think staying sober is the surest way of minimizing risk of transmission, but I'm not likely to adhere to that advice either.

 

[SweetErika]

There's no such thing as safe sex. It's really just safer or protected sex. It's like, just because you properly wear a seatbelt for safety/protection every time you get in the car doesn't mean you can't get seriously hurt or killed in a car accident, you know?

I'd feel confident saying most people don't use protection for casual oral sex. I'm sure you could find some stats on that if you looked. It's one of the reasons I don't have casual oral--or any--sex. I'm not a germaphobe in general, but the risk of getting something via casual sex just grosses me out.

Up to 90% of the adult population have the antibodies for HSV-1, which means you can't really avoid it if you're planning on kissing people. I got it when my mom kissed me as a child, and even though I never get cold sores anymore, and my partner of 12 years has never had a symptom, it is something I always make potential partners aware of. The only good thing about HSV-1 is it provides some protection against acquiring HSV-2 and vice versa. And, no, HSV-1 is not more contagious than HSV-2, it's just that more people have it because they're exposed through social interaction when they're young and have weakened immune systems. (Source)

As for using condoms for penetrative sex, you should be concerned about that, too. Quite a few people get HSV and HPV even with proper condom use. Again, condoms provide some protection, but certainly not prevention.

 

[SweetErika]

It's probably just me, but I would rather do without oral (giving or receiving) if there had to be "protection" involved. I also think staying sober is the surest way of minimizing risk of transmission, but I'm not likely to adhere to that advice either.

Most people who get STIs were sober when they got them. Sure, drugs and alcohol often lead to bad choices, like indiscriminate sex and failure to use protection, but being sober is certainly not the best way to minimize transmission. If one is going to have sex, the best ways to minimize transmission are to use latex or polypropylene condoms and dental dams properly, limit casual contact and get comprehensive testing regularly (remembering that men aren't tested for HPV).

 

[fuckmeat]

Most sexually transmitted infections are easily treatable. Making sure you're regularly screened for them is just as important as using prophylactics. Regular testing, treating STDs and avoiding intimacy when you have one breaks the cycle of transmission.

There's no such thing as completely safe sex but there's no such thing as completely safe driving either, as Erika pointed out. Even if you obey all the driving laws and are a good driver, you still run the risk of being in an accident caused by someone else every time you get in the car. Sex is no different really, all you can do is mitigate the risk. There are fast, drunk, careless drivers and there are people walking around with HIV. It comes down to how much you want to limit yourself as a person by avoiding risk. Some people fret about walking down the street, some people go parachuting for a good time.

Obviously, one night stands are a bad idea. If a girl will have sex with you that fast, she's likely been promiscuous already, making her a high risk. There's no reason to be completely paranoid about STDs though. Most people in this day and age are clued up about the risks and you shouldn't be afraid to ask a potential partner if they've been recently screened.

 

[The Gimp]

Unprotected vaginal or anal penetration can literally be a matter of life and death. Although there are risks involved with oral sex, it's more like playing with a bb gun rather than a Glock. As long as you are careful about screening your partners, I'm of the opinion that the reward outweighs the risk.

 

[Somehowyou]

Obviously, one night stands are a bad idea. .

They're a good idea if you can get em. Better than sitting home and beating your meat in most cases.

If a girl will have sex with you that fast, she's likely been promiscuous already, making her a high risk.

This is like going fishing and getting your limit in a half hour and then saying "what do I do with the rest of the day. This fishing trip sucks." ??? Send her my way. I'll test her for ya.

Most people in this day and age are clued up about the risks and you shouldn't be afraid to ask a potential partner if they've been recently screened.

And they will lie to you. If you really want to know when yo go back to their place and ask to see something in writing.

Although there are risks involved with oral sex, it's more like playing with a bb gun rather than a Glock. As long as you are careful about screening your partners, I'm of the opinion that the reward outweighs the risk.

Amen brother Gimp. Amen! Finally the voice of reason. If your a the average woman do all the things that Fuckmeat said. If you are the typical male you got to take it when you can get it. Wear a condom, avoid crack whores, consider their cleanliness and hygeine (and of course their hotness) and go for it. Avoid oral if that bothers you. Maybe your not into it anyways.

Please remember, Erika and Meat can get sex anytime they want. They can pick and choose but if you are a male you understand the reality. Especially if you are a married man.

 

[fuckmeat]

They're a good idea if you can get em. Better than sitting home and beating your meat in most cases.

This is like going fishing and getting your limit in a half hour and then saying "what do I do with the rest of the day. This fishing trip sucks." ??? Send her my way. I'll test her for ya.


And they will lie to you. If you really want to know when yo go back to their place and ask to see something in writing.



Amen brother Gimp. Amen! Finally the voice of reason. If your a the average woman do all the things that Fuckmeat said. If you are the typical male you got to take it when you can get it. Wear a condom, avoid crack whores, consider their cleanliness and hygeine (and of course their hotness) and go for it. Avoid oral if that bothers you. Maybe your not into it anyways.

Please remember, Erika and Meat can get sex anytime they want. They can pick and choose but if you are a male you understand the reality. Especially if you are a married man.

So like I said, it depends what risks you want to take. SY will apparently quite happily risk crotchrot for a quick, no strings fuck. Just imagine how fulfilling his life must be.

It's an example, but is it one you want to follow?

 

[infinity706]

They're a good idea if you can get em. Better than sitting home and beating your meat in most cases.

This is like going fishing and getting your limit in a half hour and then saying "what do I do with the rest of the day. This fishing trip sucks." ??? Send her my way. I'll test her for ya.


And they will lie to you. If you really want to know when yo go back to their place and ask to see something in writing.



Amen brother Gimp. Amen! Finally the voice of reason. If your a the average woman do all the things that Fuckmeat said. If you are the typical male you got to take it when you can get it. Wear a condom, avoid crack whores, consider their cleanliness and hygeine (and of course their hotness) and go for it. Avoid oral if that bothers you. Maybe your not into it anyways.

Please remember, Erika and Meat can get sex anytime they want. They can pick and choose but if you are a male you understand the reality. Especially if you are a married man.

That's far too overly simplistic. Yes, it's pretty easy for women to get sex, but I've never had problems getting sex, either. The quality of one night stands is pretty poor, for the most part. I know, because I've had hundreds of them. There is good sex out there, but for anyone as talented as the How To regulars, 95-99% of the hookups out there will be far below expectations. I honestly have enough fingers to count the ones that weren't a waste of time, from an interesting sex perspective. Under 10% could even get me off and I'm a guy that can have multiples with a talented partner.

 

[Somehowyou]

That's far too overly simplistic. Yes, it's pretty easy for women to get sex, but I've never had problems getting sex, either. The quality of one night stands is pretty poor, for the most part. I know, because I've had hundreds of them. There is good sex out there, but for anyone as talented as the How To regulars, 95-99% of the hookups out there will be far below expectations. I honestly have enough fingers to count the ones that weren't a waste of time, from an interesting sex perspective. Under 10% could even get me off and I'm a guy that can have multiples with a talented partner.

Yes it is over simplistic but I make my point. A good looking woman knows before she goes out the front door that she is going to get laid but the typical guy has to work hard to seduce a woman. Why do you think they call it "getting lucky."

 

[infinity706]

Hey now, lots of women still have problems getting good sex, though.

 

[RuReal]

Just so people have some of the number. condoms are 98% effective against pregnancy, and 80 to 95% effective verses STI's.

I tend to find when people tell me condoms don't work it is because they have not used thier head. Some people will never learn they figure penile penatration is the only way to get someone knocked up. Let me give you a hint if you play in advance and get pre-cum on your hands and then fingers end up inside of her guess what can happen?

Be carful I used condoms for years before my wife and I moved to an IUD and guess what not even a remote close call.

 

[fuckmeat]

Just so people have some of the number. condoms are 98% effective against pregnancy, and 80 to 95% effective verses STI's.

That's if they're used properly.

1. Make sure the condom you use is of good quality and not outside the use by date.
2. Put the condom on the penis before any contact with the vagina.
3. Pinch the teat to get rid of air and then roll the condom onto the erect penis.
4. You should not use oil based products such as vaseline, body oils, or lotions with latex condoms. They can damage latex and cause the condom to split. If you want to use a lubricant with a latex condom then use KY Jelly or a spermicidal jelly.
5. Your partner should be aroused, well lubricated and physically ready for sex. Dryness and tightness tears condoms.
6. Check the condom throughout sex, don't just assume it'll still be fine by the end of a session.
7. After sex, withdraw the penis before it becomes too soft.
8. Take care not to spill any semen when taking off the condom.
9. If the condom splits or slips off, seek advice about emergency contraception within 72 hours.
10. Do not try to re-use a condom or keep one on for two rounds of sex.

 

[RuReal]

Very true I did not use properly, and I am always amazed at the amount of people that do not know how to use one correctly. I just do not get it at all after all it is not all that hard.

 

[The Gimp]

Let me give you a hint if you play in advance and get pre-cum on your hands and then fingers end up inside of her guess what can happen?

Some people are unsuccessful in their attempt to get pregnant, despite specifically having sex when the woman is most fertile. Others get pregnant after a random one night stand with someone that they don't even remember. I think that it's safe to say that very few people ended up getting pregnant as a result of the guy having a bit of pre cum on his fingers.

 

[infinity706]

That's if they're used properly.

1. Make sure the condom you use is of good quality and not outside the use by date.
2. Put the condom on the penis before any contact with the vagina.
3. Pinch the teat to get rid of air and then roll the condom onto the erect penis.
4. You should not use oil based products such as vaseline, body oils, or lotions with latex condoms. They can damage latex and cause the condom to split. If you want to use a lubricant with a latex condom then use KY Jelly or a spermicidal jelly.
5. Your partner should be aroused, well lubricated and physically ready for sex. Dryness and tightness tears condoms.
6. Check the condom throughout sex, don't just assume it'll still be fine by the end of a session.
7. After sex, withdraw the penis before it becomes too soft.
8. Take care not to spill any semen when taking off the condom.
9. If the condom splits or slips off, seek advice about emergency contraception within 72 hours.
10. Do not try to re-use a condom or keep one on for two rounds of sex.

It depends on what kind of sex, too. I given guys multiple blowjobs in an hour, with the same condom. Of course, that's unlikely to damage them unless you're jabbing the hell out of his dick.

 

[RuReal]

Some people are unsuccessful in their attempt to get pregnant, despite specifically having sex when the woman is most fertile. Others get pregnant after a random one night stand with someone that they don't even remember. I think that it's safe to say that very few people ended up getting pregnant as a result of the guy having a bit of pre cum on his fingers.

I am sorry while there is not scientific evidence that I have looked for I will say that the amount of people that say they got pregnant with while using a condom and it did not break is amusing. I know at least two people that have made that claim so I now wonder about the percentage.

 

[curiusgirl]

Some people are unsuccessful in their attempt to get pregnant, despite specifically having sex when the woman is most fertile. Others get pregnant after a random one night stand with someone that they don't even remember. I think that it's safe to say that very few people ended up getting pregnant as a result of the guy having a bit of pre cum on his fingers.

I agree, it's probably safe to say that very few people end up getting pregnant due to precum on someone's fingers. BUT for those very few people that ended up with an unplanned pregnancy, it can be a big deal. There is approximately a 99% chance of condoms preventing pregnancy, and yet many still take additional precautions to prevent it (ie: birth control). Just because the risks are minimal, does not mean they should be discounted.

 

[ace_high]

No one is going to like this, and I know I'm going to take a lot of flak for saying this BUT, the ONLY truly form of safe sex (as far as disease is concerned) is with a safe partner. And the only truly safe partner is one who either has never had sex or one who has not had sex for at least five years and tests negative for any STDs. Why five years? Because there are STDs that take up to five years to become virulent. THAT is safe sex.

 

[VelvetSin]

I agree, it's probably safe to say that very few people end up getting pregnant due to precum on someone's fingers. BUT for those very few people that ended up with an unplanned pregnancy, it can be a big deal. There is approximately a 99% chance of condoms preventing pregnancy, and yet many still take additional precautions to prevent it (ie: birth control). Just because the risks are minimal, does not mean they should be discounted.

My best friend is pregnant when a condom was used while taking birth control. As far as she's aware, the condom was used correctly, and she knows her birth control was taken right. She had just finished a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection but her doctor told her it's a myth that antibiotics reduce the effectiveness, so she's completely baffled how it happened. The statistics for a pregnancy happening while condoms and birth control were used are astronomical, but there is a statistic because it (quote obviously) does happen. Since a pregnancy happened, obviously STDs were a concern but she got lucky on that account. She's in the process of looking for the soon-to-be daddy (it was a one-night stand) so some unsuspecting guy that thought he was just having a good time is about to get a life-changing phone call once she tracks him down because she's decided to keep the baby.

There is honestly no such thing as safe sex. There is such a thing as safer sex. Know your partner, use protection, and be responsible. It does not guarantee anything - known partners can be deceptive, protection can fail, and even when we think we're being responsible accidents can happen - but it goes a long way to preventing unwanted consequences to an otherwise entertaining activity.

 

[Christopher2012]

She had just finished a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection but her doctor told her it's a myth that antibiotics reduce the effectiveness, so she's completely baffled how it happened.

That is not not not a myth. Bacteria is how the OC is absorbed into the blood and circulated.

Taking an antibiotic kills those bacteria. Not a myth.

http://www.rxlist.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=103991&page=2#pill

Best source I can get you unless you have access to Clinical Pharmacology or Lexi-Comp. The list of drug-drug interactions include the beta-lactams (penicillins and cephalosporins), aminoglycosides, and sulfa drugs.