Psych Thread: You teach me, I teach you

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

Hi,

Like others, I’m not quite sure what it is you want to barter. Can you be a bit clearer? How about some examples?

Em

Why do I feel like you raised your hand to ask me this? Please put your hand down. Also, on an unrelated note, I really love your avatar.

I'll assume you, a relatively seasoned author, already understand what it is I want out of the exchange. Yes? To be clear, please somehow to carve me into someone who knows how to help people orgasm with words.

But meanwhile you require clarity on what I bring to the table (maybe especially given that you and others here are already proven talents at exploring the nuances of human behavior and so might find it kind of presumptuous of me to offer a psychological perspective?). Clear expectations are some of my very favorite things in life, so I am only too happy to oblige you and the others who have asked for them.

How about I treat this like a clinic of sorts, and list the services I might conceivably offer!

• Character psychoanalysis
  • Less to check for "accurate depiction" than to have a thoughtful conversation about their diagnostic profile as it presents in-story
  • Sort of like if you were another therapist coming to me to consult about a client, or a concerned parent wanting my unofficial take on their ND kid's situation
  • Granted, if you have grossly misrepresented (or likelier, misdiagnosed) a disorder, then you can expect me to very politely and roundaboutly point this out and help you course correct
• Fielding any and all psych-relevant questions
  • About, e.g., a particular diagnosis, psych-theoretical stuff, my profession, even your own issues (to the extent you feel comfortable sharing here)
  • In short, the kinds of things you'd ask a therapist!
  • You are welcome to message me in private, too.
    • Unless it's to ask me to be your virtual fuck buddy. Please stop. I've only been here like 72 hours and already - no, nevermind, it's pointless. There is no escape, is there?
• Writer's block
  • If you are hitting a wall with a certain character or psych-intensive plot, then there is a chance I can help
  • I promise not to make suggestions or give advice, I will only describe what I see
  • But selfishly, I reserve the right to be like, "I could easily see this character doing _____" or "I could see this situation producing _____" because that honestly just sounds fun to me

Em and company, I hope I have answered your call for clarity.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

All you online people aren't real! You're just figments of my imagination!

That's why I'm watching you from behind while you do that thing, you're doing.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I thought that the forum lacked only a 'nerd' emote, but now I also want a 'flex' one...

These are all the emoticons, this site design offers. Screenshot is from LipstickAlley, it uses way more design functions, than this one.

 

[Bamagan]

Why do I feel like you raised your hand to ask me this? Please put your hand down.

You're going to want to be waaaaay more specific about telling @EmilyMiller which 'down' her hand is allowed to be in.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Why do I feel like you raised your hand to ask me this? Please put your hand down. Also, on an unrelated note, I really love your avatar.

I'll assume you, a relatively seasoned author, already understand what it is I want out of the exchange. Yes? To be clear, please somehow to carve me into someone who knows how to help people orgasm with words.

But meanwhile you require clarity on what I bring to the table (maybe especially given that you and others here are already proven talents at exploring the nuances of human behavior and so might find it kind of presumptuous of me to offer a psychological perspective?). Clear expectations are some of my very favorite things in life, so I am only too happy to oblige you and the others who have asked for them.

How about I treat this like a clinic of sorts, and list the services I might conceivably offer!

• Character psychoanalysis
  • Less to check for "accurate depiction" than to have a thoughtful conversation about their diagnostic profile as it presents in-story
  • Sort of like if you were another therapist coming to me to consult about a client, or a concerned parent wanting my unofficial take on their ND kid's situation
  • Granted, if you have grossly misrepresented (or likelier, misdiagnosed) a disorder, then you can expect me to very politely and roundaboutly point this out and help you course correct
• Fielding any and all psych-relevant questions
  • About, e.g., a particular diagnosis, psych-theoretical stuff, my profession, even your own issues (to the extent you feel comfortable sharing here)
  • In short, the kinds of things you'd ask a therapist!
  • You are welcome to message me in private, too.
    • Unless it's to ask me to be your virtual fuck buddy. Please stop. I've only been here like 72 hours and already - no, nevermind, it's pointless. There is no escape, is there?
• Writer's block
  • If you are hitting a wall with a certain character or psych-intensive plot, then there is a chance I can help
  • I promise not to make suggestions or give advice, I will only describe what I see
  • But selfishly, I reserve the right to be like, "I could easily see this character doing _____" or "I could see this situation producing _____" because that honestly just sounds fun to me

Em and company, I hope I have answered your call for clarity.

Thanks,

Not sure I need any of that. But welcome anyway.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

You're going to want to be waaaaay more specific about telling @EmilyMiller which 'down' her hand is allowed to be in.

She’ll learn.

Em

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

I'd say one of the biggest things about erotica that some overlook is drawing people in through emotions.

Emotionless sex is... boring. It's cold and mechanical and will be skipped over and might be complained about.

Take the reader on a sensual dance around the mind of the character(s) and you'll connect with them. Connect with them and they'll feel more for the characters and will likely love the story those characters are involved in.

Elsewhere in another thread on these forums, I found myself feeling like something of a minority. Popular opinion seemed to be that emotions should be front and center in the text. Clearly signposted. Carefully mapped, moment to moment. My experience, however, has been that plenty of great writing has rocked me to my core (i.e., made me feel strong emotions in line with what the characters were experiencing) without ever being so gauche as to literally state which emotions I was supposed to be feeling. I'll go so far as to say it lowers the art for me, to be told why someone has fallen to their knees or winced at a remark or even simply chosen to look at Thing A vs Things B, C, D, etc., in a given moment. I savor the puzzle of how to get readers to feel something without telling them precisely what I want them to feel.

That said, I still totally know what you mean. Emotionless sex is not-so-good. It leaves a sour taste. You're lucky if it's merely forgettable.

I know emotions are critical to good storytelling, so it is no surprise at all to hear they are pivotal to good erotica. This harmonizes, too, with the good erotica I've read. Both non-sex and the sex-scenes live and die by their emotional intelligence scores. The sex-scenes, in particular though, really seem to push the envelope of what a writer can get away with when it comes to "spoonfeeding" the reader a character's emotional states. Sex-scenes, I've noticed, have this other-dimensional property to them, where as long as the stylistic shift isn't too harsh, an author can get away with a lot of things that break the "rules" of conventional good writing. Something about sexual excitement lowers my tendency toward snootiness and distaste, and stuff that might normally gross me out or make my eyes roll instead drives me wild.

Sorry if talking about my own sexuality is weird in this context? I admit I've kind of confused myself by starting a safe-space psych thread where I also hope to learn better how this craft I love so much (i.e., writing) can be used to induce orgasms.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

All jokes aside, I'd like to give the OP some friendly advice.

Most people in this forum have been here for a while. They have interacted with each other many times, and they have published a certain number of stories. You, on the other hand, have just joined the website and are a total unknown. So your claim of psych expertise and your desire for barter will be taken with a lot of suspicion. There are all kinds of creeps who come to this website, claiming this and that. If you truly are who you claim to be, and if you really desire to learn something about erotic story-writing, I advise you to build up some trust first. Earn some good faith.

Maybe create a thread where you will be analyzing characters from some Lit stories. You could take some random story or you could ask someone from AH to suggest one of their stories. Show your expertise to people by performing analysis of characters and that might lead to some future mutually beneficial arrangement. Or it won't. It all depends on how good you are, and how much you manage to convince people about your abilities.

 

[StillStunned]

Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me! My story Love at First Sight is generally described as "disturbing". Also "effective but disturbing". Sometimes "disturbing as fuck".

I swear the POV character is entirely fictional, and has nothing to do with me.

 

[lovecraft68]

 

[EmilyMiller]

All jokes aside, I'd like to give the OP some friendly advice.

Most people in this forum have been here for a while. They have interacted with each other many times, and they have published a certain number of stories. You, on the other hand, have just joined the website and are a total unknown. So your claim of psych expertise and your desire for barter will be taken with a lot of suspicion. There are all kinds of creeps who come to this website, claiming this and that. If you truly are who you claim to be, and if you really desire to learn something about erotic story-writing, I advise you to build up some trust first. Earn some good faith.

Maybe create a thread where you will be analyzing characters from some Lit stories. You could take some random story or you could ask someone from AH to suggest one of their stories. Show your expertise to people by performing analysis of characters and that might lead to some future mutually beneficial arrangement. Or it won't. It all depends on how good you are, and how much you manage to convince people about your abilities.

I wonder if she takes octopuses as clients?

Em

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I wonder if she takes octopuses as clients?

Em

There are more difficult cases here, so I'd guess yes

 

[EmilyMiller]

There are more difficult cases here, so I'd guess yes

My octopus was pretty well-adjusted, at least compared to his girlfriend / wife .

Em

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

Thanks,

Not sure I need any of that. But welcome anyway.

Em

Thanks. I appreciate you visiting all the same.
---

All jokes aside, I'd like to give the OP some friendly advice.

Most people in this forum have been here for a while. They have interacted with each other many times, and they have published a certain number of stories. You, on the other hand, have just joined the website and are a total unknown. So your claim of psych expertise and your desire for barter will be taken with a lot of suspicion. There are all kinds of creeps who come to this website, claiming this and that. If you truly are who you claim to be, and if you really desire to learn something about erotic story-writing, I advise you to build up some trust first. Earn some good faith.

I've learned not to stress too much about proving my competence. But I am grateful to learn that I should expect a lengthy get-to-know-you phase.

Maybe create a thread where you will be analyzing characters from some Lit stories. You could take some random story or you could ask someone from AH to suggest one of their stories. Show your expertise to people by performing analysis of characters and that might lead to some future mutually beneficial arrangement. Or it won't. It all depends on how good you are, and how much you manage to convince people about your abilities.

I'm happy to let this thread become the kind of thread you've suggested, if that's where folks want it to go. But please note, I wouldn't consider myself able to analyze your work without your involvement in the effort. I practice from a collaborative approach. And I hope you all have a flexible definition of "good" and "ability," as a key way I am able to help lies in my ability to be wrong, so that you might experience the therapeutic benefits of clarifying yourself to someone who earnestly and nonjudgmentally wants to understand.
---

Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me! My story Love at First Sight is generally described as "disturbing". Also "effective but disturbing". Sometimes "disturbing as fuck".

I swear the POV character is entirely fictional, and has nothing to do with me.

Facetiousness is hard to discern online. Are you insinuating that this POV character is actually a meaningful facet of your psyche, even if it might be a dark or "disturbing as fuck" part of you? If not, that's all good. I believe you. But I will need clarification, then, as to which of my services you're soliciting?

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Is this for some college assignment, or something? Or are you trying to get an edge on writing erotica?

 

[AchtungNight]

View attachment 2287932

Note- I do not recommend this psychiatrist. Her tactics involving a football, her love obsession with a celebrity pianist, and her constant shaming of an imaginative canine are not acceptable. However, she is a good listener and her services are reasonably priced. Go to her if you like. I know a red haired girl who’s better for me personally.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Most people in this forum have been here for a while. They have interacted with each other many times, and they have published a certain number of stories. You, on the other hand, have just joined the website and are a total unknown. So your claim of psych expertise and your desire for barter will be taken with a lot of suspicion. There are all kinds of creeps who come to this website, claiming this and that. If you truly are who you claim to be, and if you really desire to learn something about erotic story-writing, I advise you to build up some trust first. Earn some good faith.

To be fair, I think she comes over as genuine, if a little bit, "Look at me, I'm a psych major, I can help." The apposite advice is more likely, don't paint a target on your back by announcing yourself too loudly, but I suspect she's already discovered that, and has been deluged by PMs and Feedback "invitations" already.

The barter notion is a bit odd. She's either here to improve herself as an erotica writer, in which case it's, "Shut up and listen," or she's here as a counsellor - but I suspect most of us here have already got one of those (those that need one - and for the rest, it's, "Do a better job at balancing your meds.").

Maybe create a thread where you will be analyzing characters from some Lit stories. You could take some random story or you could ask someone from AH to suggest one of their stories. Show your expertise to people by performing analysis of characters and that might lead to some future mutually beneficial arrangement. Or it won't. It all depends on how good you are, and how much you manage to convince people about your abilities.

This is a good idea.

I'm always fascinated when folk do the psych on me, through my characters, although I rarely discover anything I didn't already know.

 

[lovecraft68]

Note- I do not recommend this psychiatrist. Her tactics involving a football, her love obsession with a celebrity pianist, and her constant shaming of an imaginative canine are not acceptable. However, she is a good listener and her services are reasonably priced. Go to her if you like. I know a red haired girl who’s better for me personally.

I think with the football she was trying get Charlie over the definition of insanity.

Can you imagine in today's world though? a .5 co-pay...be $500 now.

 

[XerXesXu]

Facetiousness is hard to discern online. Are you insinuating that this POV character is actually a meaningful facet of your psyche, even if it might be a dark or "disturbing as fuck" part of you? If not, that's all good. I believe you. But I will need clarification, then, as to which of my services you're soliciting?

Does it accurately describe the psychology and behaviour of one of those oddballs who believes another, who has never spoken or interacted with them is secretly in love with them, and so becomes their stalker?

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I think with the football she was trying get Charlie over the definition of insanity.

Can you imagine in today's world though? a .5 co-pay...be $500 now.

Nah, she just took joy in torturing the boy. I actually wrote a fic where she opens up about where and why their friendship went to his sister, after admitting she liked him. She even let him kick the football to prove her feelings.

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

Is this for some college assignment, or something? Or are you trying to get an edge on writing erotica?

On the contrary, I graduated earlier this year. This is fun for me! I’m offering to share in something I love while trying to hone a new talent.

Well. It probably will not look like a “talent” to start. But it might become one!

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

View attachment 2287932

I actually really liked Peanuts as a kid, but I couldn’t have told you why. It never made me laugh. I just liked how it felt to read.

But fuck Lucy. I never understood what Marcy saw in her.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Elsewhere in another thread on these forums, I found myself feeling like something of a minority. Popular opinion seemed to be that emotions should be front and center in the text. Clearly signposted. Carefully mapped, moment to moment. My experience, however, has been that plenty of great writing has rocked me to my core (i.e., made me feel strong emotions in line with what the characters were experiencing) without ever being so gauche as to literally state which emotions I was supposed to be feeling. I'll go so far as to say it lowers the art for me, to be told why someone has fallen to their knees or winced at a remark or even simply chosen to look at Thing A vs Things B, C, D, etc., in a given moment. I savor the puzzle of how to get readers to feel something without telling them precisely what I want them to feel.

Three different approaches for conveying a character's fear:

Telling: "Tom was scared, really scared."
Showing: "Tom's heart was pounding and he couldn't think straight."
Implying: "The cage door was open. The velociraptor was nowhere to be seen. Somewhere out there in the dark, in between Tom and the exit, was a prehistoric killing machine with a taste for blood."

Most stories end up being a mix of the three rather than just one, but in varying proportions. If I've understood correctly, you're a fan of the "implying" approach?

I'm fond of it, but it can be a huge challenge making it work for nuanced situations where not every character would feel the same way. Readers will tend to respond on the basis of "how I would feel in that situation" which makes it hard to avoid a fair bit of showing/telling when conveying the emotions of somebody whose reactions are different to theirs. This is an issue for me since my protagonists are often neurodivergent. How do you see the "implying" method working then? Or have I misunderstood?

Meanwhile, if you're offering psychologically-focussed story feedback, I'd be interested to hear your take on this one I wrote a few years back where the antagonist is a corporate psych gone bad: https://literotica.com/s/the-floggings-will-continue

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

Three different approaches for conveying a character's fear:

Telling: "Tom was scared, really scared."
Showing: "Tom's heart was pounding and he couldn't think straight."
Implying: "The cage door was open. The velociraptor was nowhere to be seen. Somewhere out there in the dark, in between Tom and the exit, was a prehistoric killing machine with a taste for blood."

Most stories end up being a mix of the three rather than just one, but in varying proportions. If I've understood correctly, you're a fan of the "implying" approach?

I'm fond of it, but it can be a huge challenge making it work for nuanced situations where not every character would feel the same way. Readers will tend to respond on the basis of "how I would feel in that situation" which makes it hard to avoid a fair bit of showing/telling when conveying the emotions of somebody whose reactions are different to theirs. This is an issue for me since my protagonists are often neurodivergent. How do you see the "implying" method working then? Or have I misunderstood?

Meanwhile, if you're offering psychologically-focussed story feedback, I'd be interested to hear your take on this one I wrote a few years back where the antagonist is a corporate psych gone bad: https://literotica.com/s/the-floggings-will-continue

This was such a good response. Thanks, bramblethorn. I will take a look at your piece!

 

[BelleCanzuto]

I admit I've kind of confused myself by starting a safe-space psych thread where I also hope to learn better how this craft I love so much (i.e., writing) can be used to induce orgasms.

Assuming that you have any practical experience treating, or better yet, assessing people, you're likely a fairly keen observer of human behavior. In an assessment you'll look at the person's affect, its congruence or incongruence with what they're saying. You'll oay attention to their body language, notice how it changes when they tense up, or relax, or lie to you (everyone lies during assessments, unless they're psychotic). You'll notice which questions they avoid answering and how they avoid them (change the subject, act offended, make a joke, answe a different question). You'll pay attention to eye contact and how it changes. You have words to describe these behaviors, and you make assumptions about what they mean.

These are all the same things you can use to describe characters and how they interact with each other to convey what emotions they're feeling. Because all humans assess other humans' behaviors. Some are more accurate in their reads, some are less accurate; some can pick up on more subtle things, some need the signs to be more obvious. Writing makes those signs obvious, because the author chooses what information to convey, and how to convey it. Imo, that's the key to making a story, whether erotic or not, engrossing.