Puns

[PlanetaryNebula]

 

[FranklyFrank]

https://i.imgur.com/KSDwjjc.jpg?1

 

[investor2020]

Upon his coronation, a tribal king decided he wanted to upgrade his woven-grass-and-wood home. So, he commissioned the best weavers in the village to build him a two-story home.

Weeks later, the grass-weavers finished, and moved the king’s property in. But the King wasn’t happy. He wanted to build a king-size bed, but the massive stone throne used in the tribe was in the way.

Figuring a second-floor throne room would be more impressive, the King ordered the workers to bring the throne upstairs, and then weave him a nice, big bed on the first floor.

A few more weeks later, the King finally moved in. On the first night, he and the Queen decided to test out the bed. Their testing got vigorous, and they shook the walls of the house, causing the heavy throne to plunge through the grass ceiling onto the bed, killing them both.

The moral of the story? When you live in a grass house, don’t stow thrones.

 

[investor2020]

Fiction always talks about the drama and mystery surrounding a departed relative’s will. But most of the time, it’s a dead giveaway.

 

[mr_d_w]

I needed this thread today, thank you

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

This one's for @PlanetaryNebula
Pissed-achios

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FVUGmDrWIAMDwxq?format=jpg&name=small

OMG i love you D Y I N G

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

https://media.gab.com/system/media_attachments/files/108/973/870/original/eee9b07dd88d73c8.jpeg

Shut UP love it

 

[Whitneysub]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

https://media.gab.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=700,quality=100,fit=scale-down/system/media_attachments/files/108/668/666/original/d812bc3ba51ce564.jpeg

Even with you, she was seeing someone else on the side

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

https://media.gab.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=700,quality=100,fit=scale-down/system/media_attachments/files/108/774/697/original/9445ce1ab9ee88b4.png

Sir Vader doesn't sound any better either

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

You'll have one hot ash, for sure

Only time I'll ever have smoldering good looks

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Sorry for the absence, I wasn't getting alert for posts on here AND I currently can't post any pictures... guess I'll have to repunvent myself

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Damnit it won't let me comment on your emu post....Toucan play at that game ma’am

 

[FranklyFrank]

https://i.imgur.com/2dW6mqO.jpg?1

 

[FranklyFrank]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FVYNNIWVIAEiASm?format=jpg&name=small

I must need a decoder ring for this one cause all I see are letters

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

@SirConradPeckereye C-Rex or Velo-sea-raptor?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FVZzJFTWIAQLz07?format=jpg&name=900x900

Hhhmmm that's a tough one... veloc-sea-raptor sounds too good to pass up though

 

[Whitneysub]

 

[Whitneysub]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

View attachment 2155963

He must of been so HAWKified that he was caught red clawed!