PYLs and alcohol

[subtleone]

As I am sat here watching some extremely sad people on the TV who are binge drinking and think it is a clever hobby; It occurred to me that if we are to practice our kinks under the banner of SSC surely PYL's do not drink, and possibly to a lesser extent pyls (or at least not prior to or during a scene).
My PYL does not drink as a rule but he may be the exception. Or is it a case of knowing how much you can take and not overstepping the mark? Obviously this could be expanded to include recreational drugs.
My personal thoughts - as the masochistic recipient is that i need neither drink or drugs as I get my highs from the scene itself and not wanting to speak for Him but I think I could safely say the same for Him.
I know this is no great discussion in the world of BDSM, I was just interested if you please.
*smiles politely*

 

[Bandit58]

Master doesn't drink now because of His health, but He used to be a pretty heavy drinker. From what He has told me it sounds like He was a borderline alcoholic. However giving up drinking for Him was easier than giving up smoking (He is trying again).

I am a light drinker - normally I have no more than 3 or 4 drinks when we go out, and I have one drink with dinner most nights.

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I'm a very light drinker, maybe three to four drinks a week at the most. I've never been drunk, and I would never drink before a scene, but that's just my personal preference. I dislike the thought of being mentally impaired.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Actually it is quite a common discussion of importance in BDSM circles, to the extent most clubs have set rules against any D&D being included in play. Some of the threads we have had on this in the past are here:
Do Any Of You Do Drugs/Drink While Playing?
Alcohol and BDSM
BDSM and Club Drugs

Personally I was taught it was not considered safe or smart to mix the 2 things, but then it seemed fairly common sense to me anyway. There are always those who feel it doesn't effect them and so is safe, but unfortunately 1 drink is enough to have an effect, and as most of us know, when intoxicated most people feel they are fully capable of doing anything they want and more. Some of the Dominants I played with in the past would not even consider light play if I had taken so much as 1 panadol or mild painkiller, none would consider it after a drink. Fortunately I don't drink....well on occasion I might have 1 drink in 6 months. F also is not a heavy drinker and will not play if he has taken a drink. For us it just is not safe for either person to have used drink or drugs, so play does not happen when it has been used.

Catalina

 

[tenedave]

Graet Idea for a thread,This could be helpful and informative.
I personally will never scene when i have had a drink.I do not think the two mix,Especially as i have the well being of my toy to think about as well.Even one drink impairs your judgement at alot of what we do is about judgement.
Dave

 

[subtleone]

Thanks for your replies and thanks Cat for the links; interesting. I did try to do a search before I posted but I don't think I've got the hang of the search function yet as it brought up recent non-related threads. *shrugs*

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for your replies and thanks Cat for the links; interesting. I did try to do a search before I posted but I don't think I've got the hang of the search function yet as it brought up recent non-related threads. *shrugs*

Searching titles for all dates for the forum(s) you want works best, and that's only possible with the Advanced Search. For this one, you'd try searching titles for 'alcohol' (and/or similar, but it must be at least 5 characters, and you can use an asterisk as an ending character for spelling variations like threesomes/threesums) for all dates in the BDSM forums.

Back to the topic at hand, we don't play under the influence. We don't drink a ton anyway ( *maybe* a couple of drinks a couple of times a month), so it's not a stretch to exclude it. I don't feel comfortable with either of us being impaired - I need to be in control, and he needs to be able to give me accurate feedback on pain and other feelings. Plus, what fun is being dulled physically or mentally?

That's not to say we can't have a glass or two of wine well before play, or engage in anything while we're drinking. I don't consider sex, light/more mental bondage, and quite a few lighter activities that we've done for many years as a "vanilla-ish" couple "play," and we know each other and ourselves well enough to determine limits and what's safe. Neither one of us think we're more competent than we are when under the influence; in fact, the opposite has always been true!

I think the bottom line is that we have policies that are SSC and we're both exceedingly comfortable with.

Our club has about the same rules: No D/D on the premises or playing under the influence, but that doesn't mean people can't have a drink or two earlier in the evening.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I'm certainly not a tee-totaler when it comes to alcohol consumption, but I've never been a heavy drinker.

I don't require alcohol or other mood altering substances to have a good time. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a nice cold beer now and then or a mixed drink or two when going out.

In the interest of safety I think that it's a good idea to have a "no use of any judgement/mood/reaction time/perception altering substance before play" policy for any place hosting a play party. It's a liability issue that can be minimized.

What you or I do in the privacy and comfort of our own homes is up to you or me to determine. We evaluate the risks and then act accordingly. A beer, or glass of wine, or shot of hard liquor all have about the same amount of alcohol. How much mis-perception, mood or judgement altering we (and our partners) are willing to risk is a decision to be determined on-site by us as adults.

 

[Chicklet]

I'm a lightweight but I can still have one beer and have my wits about me. I would never play with someone who was showing signs of having gone too far with drinking, but I think that most people can handle a social drink or two without losing their composure and understanding of what's going on.

 

[BiBunny]

I was blessed with the redneck drinking gene. I can drink most men under the table, and I've never been more than just a little tipsy in my life. Passing out, vomiting, hangovers, etc.--all that is foreign to me. I can drink like a fish, and none of these things happen to me. However, I think sceneing while drinking is a lot like drinking and driving. Trying to do either thing after drinking more than, say, a glass of wine with a meal, or some sweet, ice-creamy dessert drink is probably not the best idea. Master and I have never played under the influence of alcohol, but I wouldn't be scared to death if we had a beer with our dinner or something, and he decided he'd tie me up.

 

[graceanne]

Both me and K drink before we scene. Not every time, but occasionally. We have an agreement, which is that I get to decide if K's to drunk to play, not K. And he doesn't get to give me any crap about it. Also we never do any breath play if either of us have been drinking.

Quite frankly for me to say no play if you had anything to drink would be ridiculous. K's done a lot of partying, and he started drinking and using drugs at the age of 12. He doesn't drink much anymore, and he doesn't use at all, but suffice it to say he's got an alcohol tolerance that would embarrass an Irish Man. It takes him an entire six pack to give him a buzz, and more than a shot of something. Hell, I know, from stories he's told me, that he can drink a fifth of whiskey and still be walking (or was it weaving?).

 

[catalina_francisco]

Both me and K drink before we scene. Not every time, but occasionally. We have an agreement, which is that I get to decide if K's to drunk to play, not K. And he doesn't get to give me any crap about it. Also we never do any breath play if either of us have been drinking.

Quite frankly for me to say no play if you had anything to drink would be ridiculous. K's done a lot of partying, and he started drinking and using drugs at the age of 12. He doesn't drink much anymore, and he doesn't use at all, but suffice it to say he's got an alcohol tolerance that would embarrass an Irish Man. It takes him an entire six pack to give him a buzz, and more than a shot of something. Hell, I know, from stories he's told me, that he can drink a fifth of whiskey and still be walking (or was it weaving?).

F used to drink a lot at times when he was single, but regardless of a person's drinking history, it is fact that it effects everyone, just some don't show it as easily. My first husband was an alcoholic, but no-one knew on the surface as he rarely appeared drunk simply because he was used to masking it and his body also didn't have outward signs that other recognised. Unfortunately for me I could always tell even when he appeared the most sober, and that pissed him right off. From a pyl's POV, any amount of alcohol can have serious consequences in terms of bleeding if an accident occurs, and any medical intervention that might be needed, not to mention the usual dulling of judgement skills. I'm actually glad I have never had that element introduced to me and play as I get high enough from just playing, to add an intoxicating substance I think would eventually make me lose that aspect of jpy.

Catalina

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I do drink on occasion, but I would not indulge in a session whilst under the influence. If I am not in complete control of Myself, I could harm My subbie rather than just hurt her.

 

[subtleone]

Thank you all for replying
I have to admit I had not thought of the dangers of the pyl drinking either. As I said although I am not teetotal I rarely drink and even more rarely in the house. (Since having children we are of the belief that someone should always be able to drive at any given moment, but that's another story). So it is more by default that I do not drink and play.
On reflection I agree that it is best safety wise both for judgement and the consensuality side; if something unfortunate did happen.
I don't have any problem at all with drunken fumblings and 'vanilla' sex whilst drunk but I'd still maintain its best when you are compos mentis enough to enjoy the full range of feelings

 

[_prudence_]

I can drink like a fish when the mood takes me, but i find it really difficult, if not impossible to orgasm, even after just one glass of wine.

 

[FurryFury]

I can drink like a fish when the mood takes me, but i find it really difficult, if not impossible to orgasm, even after just one glass of wine.

I've found that to sometimes be the case as well.

We drink at times.

We don't play in public.

Recently we were playing on our trip. I had too little sleep, I might have been a bit sick, but in any case I felt pretty awful. Throughout the day it got worse and worse. When I'm that bad off, OTC meds don't touch it. So with some wine and a hydrocodone, in my system probably most here would say don't play, it's not safe. Oh well, I'll take it anytime I can get it. It was an excellent night I must say! I sure as hell wouldn't take it back for the world! I'd do it again and again if given the opportunity!

Fury

 

[graceanne]

I can drink like a fish when the mood takes me, but i find it really difficult, if not impossible to orgasm, even after just one glass of wine.

I have yet to find anything that'll keep me from orgasming short of advanced pregnancy or a severe flare.

 

[Stegral]

I have a drink while playing...

I have played twice in the privacy of my home, & a few times at "public" gatherings (read private events). Being VERY new to the scene, everyone I play with is very concerned about me & my state of mind. They all realize I need a drink to calm my nerves in "public", but one on one at home, there is no drinking involved. The group I am involved in have "watchers" that keep an eye out & listen to any concerns a viewer may bring to their attention.
Having fun is what the group is all about & they don't want anyone hurt enough to be going to emerg... Within my "playgroup" everyone has FULL right to say NO, I don't want to play with you right now & it means NO, just as RED means STOP. either PYL or pyl...
Personally I think each person is different. Those in the lifestyle for years don't need something to help ease the barriers, some of us newb's need a bit to get over the conditioning...

But that's just me...