Question for bisexuals

[John Doe]

yeah, what's it to you?

Just curious.

 

[John Doe]

so if i was a gay person looking at this poll i would only be able to date 16 out of a possible 78 bi people on here if i was looking for a long term same sex monogamous relationship

Yeah, but Lit isn't really a representative cross-section of society.

 

[sexy-girl]

That has more to do with the ltr monogamous part than the gay part though. Right?

Or would you date a woman who would do other women but not men?

i would prefer to be in an monogamous relationship ... the gender thing isn't exactly a huge issue for me ... although i must admit i'd probably find it easier if the woman was only dating other women

Yeah, but Lit isn't really a representative cross-section of society.

it's partly how i phrased the question too (which was deliberate) but i still thought there would be more bi people on lit saying they would be able to enter into exclusive monogamous same-sex relationships (i'm sure if i phrased the question that way would of been slightly higher saying yes)

i guess i phrased the question the way i did because i wanted to know if they would be happy in that type of relationship and able to stay in it

and i also wanted to highlight why sometimes homosexuals say they're wary of whats going on in the head of a bisexual person

 

[John Doe]

it's partly how i phrased the question too (which was deliberate) but i still thought there would be more bi people on lit saying they would be able to enter into exclusive monogamous same-sex relationships (i'm sure if i phrased the question that way would of been slightly higher saying yes)

i guess i phrased the question the way i did because i wanted to know if they would be happy in that type of relationship and able to stay in it

and i also wanted to highlight why sometimes homosexuals say they're wary of whats going on in the head of a bisexual person

And to be fair, many people have said that it's not just an issue of having sex with the opposite gender, but with everyone else. Perhaps that's why some said no? But then that could be said to lend itself to the stereotype that bisexuals are sluts, so I don't really know where I was going with this so I'll shut up now.

 

[Netzach]

i would prefer to be in an monogamous relationship ... the gender thing isn't exactly a huge issue for me ... although i must admit i'd probably find it easier if the woman was only dating other women





it's partly how i phrased the question too (which was deliberate) but i still thought there would be more bi people on lit saying they would be able to enter into exclusive monogamous same-sex relationships (i'm sure if i phrased the question that way would of been slightly higher saying yes)

i guess i phrased the question the way i did because i wanted to know if they would be happy in that type of relationship and able to stay in it

and i also wanted to highlight why sometimes homosexuals say they're wary of whats going on in the head of a bisexual person

Makes sense. This is why I don't date monosexual people or vanilla people.

 

[sexy-girl]

And to be fair, many people have said that it's not just an issue of having sex with the opposite gender, but with everyone else. Perhaps that's why some said no? But then that could be said to lend itself to the stereotype that bisexuals are sluts, so I don't really know where I was going with this so I'll shut up now.

well i freely admit its not really a fair poll due to how i phrased the question ... so i'm not going to make any sweeping judgments on bisexuals based on this poll ... but its interesting anyway

 

[Equinoxe]

Not that my opinion on the matter is important, but I would have a hard time in a long term relationship with a bisexual (and several other groups), regardless of whether this poll is accurate (but even more so if it is). There would always be an element of their sexuality which I could never understand (the part about being attracted to men); then there's the monogamy (or as the case may be gender monogamy) question of the thread as to whether I would feel comfortable enforcing some rules upon a person I cared about, potentially preventing some their happiness (which I wouldn't feel right about, but I wouldn't be comfortable with the alternative).

The same would apply to BDSM types, it's something I am distinctly not interested in and hence I would not only be depriving the person of some element of sexuality (assuming no other relationship on their part), but that there would again be that aspect of their sexuality that I could never understand.

Which makes me the opposite of Netzach on this, I guess.

 

[sexy-girl]

well i think your opinion matters equinoxe ... and i must admit i've had similar thoughts


however i think it would be different if i was finding myself entering a relationship with a bisexual ... like any relationship it would be require trust and communication so any hang ups i had would probably get worked out then ... after all if i'm entering a relationship with this person i must trust them and like them

 

[Never]

I don't think it's ever possible to completely understand one's partner. In my case, it's not even desirable.

 

[sexy-girl]

I don't think it's ever possible to completely understand one's partner. In my case, it's not even desirable.

perhaps not but relationships are about forming understandings

and i must confess although i doubt i will ever completely understand you (i don't think thats possible with anyone) ... it has been an interesting road to explore and i hope i can continue doing so

 

[Never]

Understanding is nice but appreciation is better.

 

[Angel]

Yes, I could.

If am in a long-term, committed relationship with one person, I would no longer be with anyone else. That would obviously mean giving up one sex or the other. I see no problems there, it's not changing my sexual preference, it's called a committment.

I don't look at it as truly giving up on one sex or the other, it's simply committing to one PERSON, and giving up on everyone else Just like if I were a straight person entering into a marriage.

 

[Equinoxe]

well i think your opinion matters equinoxe ... and i must admit i've had similar thoughts


however i think it would be different if i was finding myself entering a relationship with a bisexual ... like any relationship it would be require trust and communication so any hang ups i had would probably get worked out then ... after all if i'm entering a relationship with this person i must trust them and like them

I think it's something that people do think about.

Well, I think that's always true, the hypothetical situations one generates in the mind usually don't reflect the reality of the situation. Many things simply get worked out when the situation arises.

I don't think it's ever possible to completely understand one's partner. In my case, it's not even desirable.

I would agree that it's never possible to completely understand a person and thus it's a bit useless to desire to understand them. Having said that, there are somethings which I would find important to be able to understand and appreciate, the other person's sexuality being one of them. Besides, I'll admit I can be kind of controlling and don't generally care for being powerless (knowledge being power and all of that).

Understanding is nice but appreciation is better.

It's hard to appreciate what you don't understand, it may be possible, but it's difficult. I think the combination of the two is truly something.

 

[Pookie]

I don't think it's ever possible to completely understand one's partner. In my case, it's not even desirable.

Not completely understanding each other is part of the fun.

 

[Netzach]

I like understanding more than not understanding.

Like I said, I try not to date outside my sexual profile because every time I've done it it's been disastrous. It's not for lack of me saying over and over "I will never be exclusive, I will never become a lesbian (or straight) I will never be able to stop wanting to spank your bottom." I find that, in my life, when I've tried to explain these needs to people in the throes of attraction, especially other queer women, for some reason -- they don't listen. They don't hear. They plan on reforming me. They will figure out the trick. They will make me cum so I'll never want another dick.

Then, when this doesn't happen and I turn tail having said all along "try and fence me and you will lose me" they choose to paint me as a closet hetero, as someone who doesn't know herself, as someone in denial about her obvious lesbianism, as someone who promised things she had no intention of delivering. This has been my lesbian dating saga every time I've been in a relationship of emotional attachment with a woman. So I am very reluctant to go there, and I am very sensitive when people weild the "bisexuals can't commit" sword. Some of us never promised an exclusive rose garden and never will.

Right now, I'm the occasional date/fuckbud/Domme/swing partner (?) of a married female couple. They are good friends, but the fact that they go home to one another is a hell of a lot off my mind at the end of the day.

 

[Never]

Equinoxe:
" It's hard to appreciate what you don't understand, it may be possible, but it's difficult. I think the combination of the two is truly something."

I understand my world. I can put almost everything I see and hear into a neat little box that makes sense to me. I don't want my lover to make sense to me. I don't want her to be something I can analyze and dissect and finally understand. I find it very easy to appreciate things I don't understand. I appreciate them because they're unique or lovely or quintessentially *her*.

Besides, I've yet to meet anyone who understood me but I've met some who appreciate me.

Netzach:
"This has been my lesbian dating saga every time I've been in a relationship of emotional attachment with a woman."

Insanity is doing the same thing but expecting a different result.

That said, I'm glad you've found your happy medium.

 

[Equinoxe]

I understand my world. I can put almost everything I see and hear into a neat little box that makes sense to me. I don't want my lover to make sense to me. I don't want her to be something I can analyze and dissect and finally understand. I find it very easy to appreciate things I don't understand. I appreciate them because they're unique or lovely or quintessentially *her*.

Besides, I've yet to meet anyone who understood me but I've met some who appreciate me.

You and I are not using the same definition of understanding. I'm not talking about a logical, analytical dissection of the individual. I'm talking about a subconscious non-verbal understanding of them as an individual, which fits more your definition of appreciation.

 

[sexy-girl]

Understanding is nice but appreciation is better.

that's one of my failings in relationships ... i often try so hard to understand everything that i end up failing to appreciate the things i "know"

Yes, I could.

If am in a long-term, committed relationship with one person, I would no longer be with anyone else. That would obviously mean giving up one sex or the other. I see no problems there, it's not changing my sexual preference, it's called a committment.

I don't look at it as truly giving up on one sex or the other, it's simply committing to one PERSON, and giving up on everyone else Just like if I were a straight person entering into a marriage.

you're too smart to fall for my loaded questions