Question for bisexuals

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
" So what?"
I think it's important that no one feel this is a hostile environment.

" Well obviously if I had..."
No, not obviously. Maybe obvious to you but you are not I. I would ask that question, along with a host of others, to any bisexual I happened to hook up with.

" I already clarfied this."
Not before I hit the 'post' button.

" Humans are not built for the most part to be monogamous. that's a concept imposed on humanity by itself."
I think monogamy is usually unnatural but I think jealousy is very natural. As a fairly monogamous person, I think I could go long periods with only one sexual partner. I realize that my partner might not be able to do so. Or, at least, not be able to do so and be happy.

This places me in a quandary. I can accept my partner making love with someone other than myself within a very narrow, controlled field. I can even accept my partner loving someone other than myself…barely.

But, a guy? A male? The XY super-size combo? The idea of a penis in my partner conjures up all sorts of jealous and violent emotions.

" No, you come across that way. I know you're not, but you just come across as such."

I understand I come across this way at the moment and it's not a position I'm quite comfortable with. I'm glad that you have me figured out, though.

 

[Pookie]

could you give up on the opposite sex forever?

It's not an issue of whether I can live without one gender or another. If I truly love the person I'm with, I could give up everyone else forever.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious,
I think sexy-girl has pegged me a bit better than you have. In general, I do prefer bisexual women to lesbians and tend to react in much more positive manner to them. I've only twice had serious attractions to a lesbians as opposed to numerous attractions to bisexuals.

 

[Pookie]

i was just curious how many bisexuals would perhaps if they were in a same sex relationship

To this question, yes I could.

 

[John Doe]

I think it's important that no one feel this is a hostile environment.

there wasn't even an appearance or suggestion of such an environment until you rsponsed to my statement.

No, not obviously. Maybe obvious to you but you are not I. I would ask that question, along with a host of others, to any bisexual I happened to hook up with.

I meant I in the proverbial sense as me or you. One.

In any case, you should ask the same questions of anyone you hook up with, as this is an issue of trust and fidelity, not sexual orientation. that's been my whole point, but you've both missed it so far.

 

[John Doe]

Stuponfucious,
I think sexy-girl has pegged me a bit better than you have. In general, I do prefer bisexual women to lesbians and tend to react in much more positive manner to them. I've only twice had serious attractions to a lesbians as opposed to numerous attractions to bisexuals.

I'm not racist, because I have black friends?

 

[Never]

Stu, you're preaching to the choir. Don’t you see that?

No, I wouldn't ask that specific question to a lesbian as it would be nonsensical.

 

[John Doe]

Re: Re: Question for bisexuals

It's not an issue of whether I can live without one gender or another. If I truly love the person I'm with, I could give up everyone else forever.

thank you, that's my point.

 

[John Doe]

Stu, you're preaching to the choir. Don’t you see that?

Depends on what you mean. You obviously disagree on some aspects of the issue, but anyway if we;re not supposed to talk about things we agree on or already know about, that would conversations a lot more confusing and less fun, wouldn't it?

No, I wouldn't ask that specific question to a lesbian as it would be nonsensical.

So you don't care if an SO doesn't love you or if they cheat on you, as long as they're a lesbian too?

 

[Never]

I'm not racist, because I have black friends?

No, I am not 'negatively judgmental' toward bisexuals because I 'prefer bisexual women to lesbians and tend to react in much more positive manner to them.'

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
"You obviously disagree on some aspects of the issue..."
Again with your overuse of the term obvious. What do we disagree on Stu?

"So you don't care if an SO doesn't love you or if they cheat on you, as long as they're a lesbian too?"

No, asking a lesbian, "could you give up having sex with the opposite gender forever?" would be nonsensical.

 

[John Doe]

No, I am not 'negatively judgmental' toward bisexuals because I 'prefer bisexual women to lesbians and tend to react in much more positive manner to them.'

Okay, now you've taken it out of the hypothetical. I got the impression you actually were tolerant of bisexuality and we were discussing how you came across as otherwise.

 

[John Doe]

Again with your overuse of the term obvious. What do we disagree on Stu?

This...

No, asking a lesbian, "could you give up having sex with the opposite gender forever?" would be nonsensical.

well, of couse it would be, but I've been saying that the question is not whether they can give up the opposite gender, but whether they are willing to give up everyone else.

You keep saying it's about gender and orientation, but I keep saying it's about general fidelity.

 

[sexy-girl]

stuponfucious there are some bisexuals that would never have a long term same sex relationship ... i do understand where you're coming from when you say for some bisexuals it's not an issue of sexuality but an issue of monogamy

but for some bisexuals it is precisely an issue of sexuality they just aren't willing to have a long term romantic same sex relationship

for a homosexual person entering that relationship they would probably just wish they knew that beforehand

 

[John Doe]

stuponfucious there are some bisexuals that would never have a long term same sex relationship ... i do understand where you're coming from when you say for some bisexuals it's not an issue of sexuality but an issue of monogamy

but for some bisexuals it is precisely an issue of sexuality they just aren't willing to have a long term romantic same sex relationship

for a homosexual person entering that relationship they would probably just wish they knew that beforehand

I'm saying that in the cases that someone is willing to have a long-term same sex relationship, then gender of the temptations probably isn't a major issue, however I reognize that not all bisexuals wish tio have a long-term same sex relationship.

So to restate, I'm saying that not all cases is it about gender (though some it is), while Never is saying that it's always about gender.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
"You've taken it out of the hypothetical"
I was never aware of being in the hypothetical. What hypothesis should I frame my responses in?

"I got the impression you actually were tolerant of bisexuality and we were discussing how you came across as otherwise."
I am tolerant of bisexuality. I assume I come across as otherwise as I've talked about both my perception of bisexuals has changed over time and how I've reacted emotionally to the dominant representations of bisexuality I've encountered.

"whether they are willing to give up everyone else."
I don't ask my partners to give up everyone else. I ask my partners to give up men.

And I still don't see where we disagree.

 

[sexy-girl]

I'm saying that in the cases that someone is willing to have a long-term same sex relationship, then gender of the temptations probably isn't a major issue, however I reognize that not all bisexuals wish tio have a long-term same sex relationship.

So to restate, I'm saying that not all cases is it about gender (though some it is), while Never is saying that it's always about gender.

i'm not sure never is saying that (but i'll let her answer )


judging from your last post here i think we're essentially saying the same things

i think where the confusion or disagreement is coming in is


a) when i enter a relationship at the start i never know if it's long term or not

b) fidelity isn't always an issue until the relationship becomes serious

c) as a homosexual i think i would like to know from the very start if the bisexual i was entering a relationship with was the type of bisexual that would consider a serious relationship ... or if it was just some "bicurious fun" ... that wouldn't always be a bad thing because i like fun but i would see the relationship in a very different light then

 

[John Doe]

I don't ask my partners to give up everyone else. I ask my partners to give up men.

And I still don't see where we disagree.

right there is one place where we disagree. I don't see the logic behind expecting your SO to be faithful only to the extent she does not have sex with men, but other women are fair game.

 

[Never]

The fact that you don't find it logical doesn't mean we disagree about it as I never said it was logical.

You still need to tell me WHAT you disagree with. Not a quote, the exact idea that I believe that you don't or the exact idea you believe that I don't.

Example:

1. Monogamy is fairly unnatural and difficult.
We both seem to agree with that.

2. Bisexuals desire both men and women.
We both seem to agree on that.

 

[april-wine]

then we disagree. I can't see how you might come across that way. You've been understanding (or at least trying to understand) and tolerant whereas Never has been rather negitavely judgemental IMO.

I think you need to quit taking things so personally and answer the question honestly and openly....Would you, being bisexual, be able to forgo the opposite sex forever....It's a valid question, and a great thought provoking one....Never, has actually helped along some quite interesting discussions here of late....I for one am glad to have such threads happening....The pussy, cock threads had become a tad boring....

 

[John Doe]

The fact that you don't find it logical doesn't mean we disagree about it as I never said it was logical.

Yes it does. I reject out-of-hand anything that is illogical.

You still need to tell me WHAT you disagree with. Not a quote, the exact idea that I believe that you don't or the exact idea you believe that I don't.

Example:

1. Monogamy is fairly unnatural and difficult.
We both seem to agree with that.

2. Bisexuals desire both men and women.
We both seem to agree on that.

I've said it so many times already, I don't see what's so difficult.

I believe that only in some cases is gender or oerientation a concern. You believe it always is.

 

[John Doe]

I think you need to quit taking things so personally and answer the question honestly and openly....Would you, being bisexual, be able to forgo the opposite sex forever....It's a valid question, and a great thought provoking one....Never, has actually helped along some quite interesting discussions here of late....I for one am glad to have such threads happening....The pussy, cock threads had become a tad boring....

What have I taken personally?

although to asnwer for myself by definition I would have tot ake it personally. I already answered once for myself, though for the most part I've been discussing the issue very generally.

I agree about her and I like the latest threads too.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
"I reject out-of-hand anything that is illogical."
But you're not me. What you're saying is that I should lead my life logically and I agree. But, if I led my life logically I would be bisexual anyways and we wouldn't be having this conversation.



"I've said it so many times already, I don't see what's so difficult."
That's because you seem to refuse the idea that what's 'obvious' to you might only be 'obvious' to you.

"I believe that only in some cases is gender or orientation a concern. You believe it always is."

3. Gender and orientation are not always a concern.
I agree with this statement. You agree with this statement.

Where is the disagreement?

 

[John Doe]

That's because you seem to refuse the idea that what's 'obvious' to you might only be 'obvious' to you.

No.3. Gender and orientation are not always a concern.
I agree with this statement. You agree with this statement.

Where is the disagreement?

Okay, never mind then.

 

[Never]

So, my kung-fu is better than yours?