Questions I Have For God

[GOD]

Face it people, your one TRUE God will not allow you to question His purpose. Your questions are futile and will go unanswered for all eternity. Only I in my infinite wisdom can know the real TRUTH.

Which part of this didn't you understand?

Do I have to carve EVERYTHING I say in stone before you people will pay attention?

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[R Nitelight]

Sweets

Promises, promises.........

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Stormystarr]

GOD!!!!!!!!!

I see that you're here again, tell me something please? What in the hell are you doing on a sex board anyway??? Hmm...

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Well God....

Boxers or briefs?

Every considered a Mach III?

Every sing baritone?

What race are you?

You into leather?

Do you need money?

How do you eat?

Have you every sinned?

What's funny to you?

 

[Stormystarr]

Sparky

we are all God's amusement. Didn't you know that?

 

[Whispersecret]

God the Father is wittier than GOD.

Disease and famine and suffering are there so we will better appreciate what we have. You cannot be happy unless you know what it is to be unhappy.

My questions:

Is America really going down the tubes or am I just turning into an old fogey?

Have I become to complacent and have I taken my life too much for granted that I needed to be given these two "benign" lumps?

A couple of favors:

Could You please arrange to have the clothing manufacturers start designing petite clothes that don't make me look like I should be in a senior care facility?

Could You please make sure my sister is all right while she's in Mexico?

That's all for now.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Dude........

you got any spare change?

 

[Siren]

GOD....OR GOD THE FATHER.......

 

[Siren]

Oh and one more question for you MANU, um, er I mean GOD>>>>

 

[GOD]

Ya know, it wouldn't hurt to hear a little praise once in awhile...

God, er, Jesus, er, dammit, you people are so demanding sometimes.

 

[Siren]

You are right GOD...but then you are always right...

 

[GOD]

God the Father is wittier than GOD.

Could You please make sure my sister is all right while she's in Mexico?

If you keep making cracks like that I wouldn't expect to see her anytime soon...

I HAVE been known to be vengeful on occasion...

Jeez, "If it's not in a movie with Charlton Heston..."

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Hey God!

I dig on you all the time man - it's just that you're spread kind of thin - you know - everywhere. Sometimes it's hard to see the tree for the forest you know man? Anyway - welcome a borad the board - you won't be bored.

 

[God the Father]

10. Did OJ really do it?

Yes

9. How come you made the big toe on my right foot shorter than the one on the left?

To make you feel sympathy for your feet

8. Why do you let such nasty people live?

Just to make hell that much more miserable for them

7. Why do you let diseases like cancer and AIDS exist?

Population control

6. Do you ever wish you wouldn't have made that promise to Noah about not wipeing everyone out ever again?

Yes.

5. And the point of this whole life thing was?

Pratice

4. Do aliens really exist? (The surest sign that there's intellegent life on other planets is that none of it has tried to contact us!)

Yes, but, they got the Jesus thing right.

3. So who really was first, Adam or Eve?

Adam, Eve's turn next go around

2. What did I ever do to piss you off?

Ask your grade 1 teacher thats what caused it.

1. Ok, so what's the grand total; how many times did I fuck up and what should I have done instead?

Not often enough that I can't forgive. Read my book.

P.S. Oh, and I'm really sorry about that whole not believeing in you thing, but can you really blame me with all the crazy shit that goes on down there?

No blame whatsoever, but focus on the silver lining even if you can not see it.

 

[God the Father]

#2
Why give the serpent the bad rap?

Cause that was Lucifers choice for a body.

 

[God the Father]

As I gave Paul a thorn in his side, so to did I give you your hair. Though if you will give a demonstration of your Faith and shave your head bald I will see what I can do.

I will fail in your test of faith for my head and my eyebrows are the only hair that I refuse to remove from my body. Everything else gets shaved bald.

That's a good start

 

[God the Father]

Re: God The Father?

You just spelled watching wrong

Wow, you paid attention to me what made you this time around, you should have done that more when you are younger.

 

[God the Father]

Let me re-phrase, Why are we here? What is the purpose of living? If you are omnipotent, why don't you eradicate disease and hatred and illness.
CB

Cause you failed the first test. To give you a second chance. If Adam had not of screwed up in the beginning there would be no disease, hatred, or illness but you had to be punished what a more novel way than to use what you rejected.

 

[God the Father]

Yeah, and why don't you do something about the designated hitter rule?

Sorry, Baseball is Satan's domain.

 

[God the Father]

#3
Why don't men have their dicks on their chest like women's breasts so that women get the chance to stare at their rising dick as we talk to them instead of actually appearing as if we are listening to their conversation?

Because I figured you women would soar above the men in that aspect.

 

[God the Father]

Why do you look like Alannis Morrisette? Why do you sound like a banshee? Why can't I have Prince William, Joseph Fiennes, R Nitelight, Heath Ledger, Denzel Washington and the guy who played Wolvering in my own private harem?
CB

No, I don't. That wasn't me you heard, I usually speak in a still, small voice. Cause it would not be fair.

 

[God the Father]

#4

Why make the Hemp plant unless you want us all to get high? Or poppy seed if we weren't to enjoy the effects? Why not just let it not happen in the first place?

They were creted for your enjoyment but have abused them so I gave them to Satan and now look what you got for your abuse.

 

[God the Father]

Re: Well God....

Boxers or briefs?

>>>Clouds.

Every considered a Mach III?

>>>Nope, Mary likes facial hair.

Every sing baritone?

>>>Sorry

What race are you?

>>>All yet none.

You into leather?

>>>I prefer a linen sheet.

Do you need money?

>>>Nope

How do you eat?

>>>Fork and spoon, some times chopsticks, just like everyone else.

Have you every sinned?

Sorry, wish i tried it though.

What's funny to you?

>>>You humans, trying to find your own way to heaven with out Jesus.