Questions I Have For God

[God the Father]

God the Father is wittier than GOD.

Disease and famine and suffering are there so we will better appreciate what we have. You cannot be happy unless you know what it is to be unhappy.

My questions:

Is America really going down the tubes or am I just turning into an old fogey?

>>>Down the tubes and fast, and you got to stop leaning toward being a fogey as well

Have I become to complacent and have I taken my life too much for granted that I needed to be given these two "benign" lumps?

>>>I am afraid I had to do that for someone elses benefit

A couple of favors:

Could You please arrange to have the clothing manufacturers start designing petite clothes that don't make me look like I should be in a senior care facility?

You may want to try the juvienille clothing section.

Could You please make sure my sister is all right while she's in Mexico?

I'll do what is best, and remember no matter what happens look for the greater good.

That's all for now.

 

[God the Father]

Re: Oh and one more question for you MANU, um, er I mean GOD>>>>

Spagetti-o's in a can....

WHY?

SIREN
__________________________________________________________
~~~IT'S AN ABOMINATION I TELL YA, AN ABOMINATION !!! ~~~

Cause its easier to carry than a plastic bag.


As for the size of my Cock, Mary Thought it was very very good.

 

[insideShiraz]

Raventossed...

A harem?! Whats the catch?! I'm supposed to be the unick right? Fuck that!

What's so bad about being Uniquely Balless?

My question for God: I'm a little short on change right now, can I pay you the entrance fee when I get my paycheck tomorrow? Cool! So this is Heaven...Which way to the Penny Arcade? Hey look! There's Mickey...(I edited a mispelling of M-I-C...K-E-Y...M-O-U-S-E)

[Edited by insideShiraz on 10-25-2000 at 04:17 PM]

 

[Always]

This is one hell of a thread to scare an aetheist with... *grin*

Heath Ledger? He's shackled up in my basement...

okay, my questions...

Why is homicide illegal?

What the fuck did I do to deserve my psycho cat?

Is marijuana addictive?

Is black all colors or total lack of color?

Why do I always turn on the radio as my favorite song ends?

Does it really matter if I've broken eight of the Ten Commandments?

Why don't people beleive in magic?

Why can't I be a Gangrel in real life?

Why do I never have enough money?

Why can I never get all the gaming supplies I need?

Can you really never have enough dice?

 

[Ambrosious]

Yeah, and why don't you do something about the designated hitter rule?

Sorry, Baseball is Satan's domain. [/QUOTE]

That would explain why both teams are from New York, thank you, Father.

 

[God the Father]

This is one hell of a thread to scare an aetheist with... *grin*

>>>It's alright if you don't believe me just don't get upset when I stop believing in you.

Heath Ledger? He's shackled up in my basement...

okay, my questions...

Why is homicide illegal?

>>>Cause I am the Judge and have appointed people, even though they screw up, to instill justice.

What the fuck did I do to deserve my psycho cat?

>>>The question would be better asked what didn't you do to deserve the cat.

Is marijuana addictive?

>>>It is meant to be

Is black all colors or total lack of color?

Both yet niether.

Why do I always turn on the radio as my favorite song ends?

Thats what happens when you refuse to believe in me

Does it really matter if I've broken eight of the Ten Commandments?

>>>Moses Broke all ten and got himself straight with me.

Why don't people beleive in magic?

Cause Magic is a gift from Lucifer, no matter how it is rationalized

Why can't I be a Gangrel in real life?

>>>Cause you have to be you, maybe nexy creation I'll let you be Gangrel

Why do I never have enough money?

>>>Lack of foresight

Why can I never get all the gaming supplies I need?

>>>Cause you need other things more.

Can you really never have enough dice?

>>>5 dice are adequat for all your needs.

 

[Always]

god, do you even know what a gangrel is?

explain one, then...

 

[God the Father]

god, do you even know what a gangrel is?

explain one, then...

Sorry, I was trying to answer your request and Al Snows request at the same time, He wanted to 'be' Gangrel the wrestler.


The Gangrel are wanderers, rarely staying in one place for any length of time. In this, they differ greatly from most Kindred, who tend to find a haven and cling to it. There are no established leaders of the clan; on the whole, Gangrel are unconcerned with such things.

Why can't you be happy being you.

 

[Always]

hmmm...

he's omniscient, allrgiht! nobody these days even know what a Kindred is...

how about a Ravnos? or a Malk? Brujah anarchs are fun...

 

[Siren]

IF YOU ARE REALLY GOD ANDN YOU REALLY EXIST, ANSWER ME THIS PLEASE....

 

[God the Father]

Re: IF YOU ARE REALLY GOD ANDN YOU REALLY EXIST, ANSWER ME THIS PLEASE....

Who is Dixon Carter Lee for real????

* and dont say GOD !!!

SIREN
__________________________________________________________
~~~ALL OF LITEROTICA HOLDS THEIR BREATH~~~

I am sorry but He doesnt believe in me so I don't believe in him.

 

[Siren]

TOUCHE' GOD....

 

[God the Father]

Re: TOUCHE' GOD....

Good Tap Dance...beats Sammy Davis Jr. Gregopry Hines, Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly
all to hell....
But then, it always would now wouldnt it?

>>>Yes that is true

So let me ask you this.....

How come I can never find that missing sock in the dryer?

>>>Because Lucifer has created a portal directly to hell that is activated by the sipnning of the dryer but fortunately its not a big opening and it doesnt last long. Be thankfull that its just your socks going to hell.

I know it isnt a heavy question about world peace but hell...um oops...I mean shucks...world peace aint never
gonna happen cuz we is a warring people right?

>>>Bingo give the girl a Bible if she doesnt have one, she wins.

MY REAL QUESTION IS. >>>>>

GOD....... Are we an ant hill experiment under a dome for you??? I think we are.

Yes, I am hoping on of the experiments won't end in countless deaths with out having to force you to brainless willess robots to worship me, I want to be worshipped freely.

SIREN
____________________________________________________________
~~~AND WHY IS GOD SPELLED BACKWARDS DOG? ~~~

>>>I created man in my image, Dog is man's best friend, see what I am getting at??

 

[Siren]

WHAT DO I WIN BESIDES A BIBLE????

 

[Stormystarr]

Re: Re: God The Father?

You just spelled watching wrong

Wow, you paid attention to me what made you this time around, you should have done that more when you are younger.

I'm only 26 damn it, or is that old too?

 

[God the Father]

Re: WHAT DO I WIN BESIDES A BIBLE????

Can I have Russell Crowe please? Jsut for one
nite even?

>>>That would not be part of my nature to allow that.

Or maybe.....um....well you get what I am going for.

Please dont tell me all I get is that man made book
called the bible??? Surely the prize is bigger than that.

>>>I had to use man to write the Bible, unfortunately you know what hapens when you count on men to do something? They screw it up and make it look bad on me, next time around the women get to write it.

Thanks for the warning bout that porthole in my dryer.
No wonder it is so hot. I wont worry about those missing socks anymore, I am sure some demon is using it to cover
the burn marks on the bottom of his paws.

GOD...do you also go by Budda, Mohammad, and all those other names???

>>>Sorry, those are names that Lucifer likes to call himself.

SIREN
____________________________________________________________
~~~DO WE ACTUALLY GET MINUS POINTS WHEN WE SAY 'JESUS H. CHRIST' WHEN UPSET??~~~

>>>Depends, are you talking about my Son when you say it or cheap exploited mexican labour.

 

[God the Father]

Re: Re: Re: God The Father?

You just spelled watching wrong

Wow, you paid attention to me what made you this time around, you should have done that more when you are younger.

I'm only 26 damn it, or is that old too?

>>>Well maybe I shouldn't answer I wouldn't want to upset you needlessly.

 

[Stormystarr]

It's no wonder

people think I worship his lordship Satan!!! With a god like you, maybe I should

 

[Stormystarr]

on second thought

Get the real GOD in here, I like him much better.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Whoa cool! This is just like ask the Magic 8 Ball!

So ummm...bobtoad, er, sorry...I mean G the F...

Why didn't you put Mrs. Ramlick's clit in a more convenient place?

 

[Siren]

OMG LL ...HAHAHAHA

 

[CelestialBody]

Re: Re: WHAT DO I WIN BESIDES A BIBLE????

 

[GOD]

AMEN!

Ummm... can we say bastard? whomever you are you are not funny. Not even close. No I don't mind religious jokes but you don't fucking rip on the rest of the world. Yes Christianity is the religion of a large part of the world's population, but you can't ignore everyone else. The reason Christians get harassed so much is because of the close-minded, self-righteous minority of you with GOD complexes. You fucking prick, grow up, get a life.
CB

You can point your finger at Bobtoad the Father for that one. The little prick...

I should smite him now...

That's certainly not GOD's way.

 

[Bobtoad777]

Leave me out of your mockerys. I have been more than defensie of other relgious and non religious views on this board. There may or may not be even a God, I believe there is, I don't however believe he is anything what any religion, denomination or any body has quite made him out to be yet.

I am so glad that I have inherited yet another troll in my image, who is it this time? Lasher? Deborah, yeah you like to call me Reverend Bobtoad? Ramlick? Who? and why me, I have been cutting back my postings for you. I have been trying to refrain from flirting. What have I done to once again beget your ire?

 

[goddess_euphoria]

(I don't know how to do the proper quote thing, but this is God the Father's reply to my question.)

2. What did I ever do to piss you off?

Ask your grade 1 teacher thats what caused it.

Ok, seriously you guys, I've been like the perfect kid & I never got in trouble at school, all my teachers loved me! Also, pot is only psychologically addictive, I did a term paper on it sr. year (which I got an A on) Thus proving the above meantioned's fakeness. (I also didn't take kindly to him bashing all other religions.)

I believe that it's not important what you believe, as long as you live your life the best & most honest way you can; I mean, well, I think you know what I mean.

And is it just me or does that whole thing with god punnishing all the rest of us for one little mistake made by people we don't even know (Adam & Eve) not make sense to any one else?