Relic Hunters! (closed)

[DrStein]

"Is the Pope Catholic?" he asked rhetorically in response to her question. "I've got a hotel room a few blocks from here, so I'll keep myself entertained and probably drunk until you're ready to head out." Jesse knew just enough Italian to get by, though every word was obviously colored by his North American accent, unless he got frustrated and his Irish accent slipped through again. Growing up in the Irish neighborhood, he picked up the accent as much from his father's insistence on his sons learning Gaelic at the same time they learned English as from hearing the accents shouted through the air as he played with his friends in the empty lots and the streets. Though his Gaelic was rusty from lack of use, Jesse could still understand it perfectly well.

He could see the look on Drina's face go from slight apprehension to relief. Their last encounter had thrown a monkey wrench into their relationship, confusing things. The distance had helped Jesse to get his head on straighter, but he figured she'd still probably want to avoid any awkward situations. For now, anyway.

Jesse knew enough about the Roma people to know that if her family ever found out about him they'd be furious. Just as he knew that if his father ever learned he had been working (and sleeping) with an Italian woman, let alone an Italian gypsy he'd be ready to start the Great War all over again.

He cleared his head of those thoughts. "I sent a few letters out to the old country before I came here. I have an uncle, Cormac, who runs an inn in Donegal and agreed to put us up. Think of it as base camp.

"As for the map and the documents, Ciaran and I spent four months getting those things authenticated. They were originally in Gaelic so old it took me a month to find a linguist who could translate them."

 

[haremfaery]

"Why drunk?" Drina knew Jesse liked his whiskey. The Irish were known for their love of the drink, but did he have some other reason to dull his senses other than boredom.

"You could go to the Museum." She suggested. "I could make arrangements for you to see the Secret Cabinet with the artifacts so far discovered in Pompeii. I think a man of your taste and discretion would find the items quite...elevating." She gave him a wicked smile. They had never actually met in Naples, only off in some remote spot hunting for relics. She was sure he had heard of the finds in Pompeii and Herculaneum, but few had seen the Secret Chamber. It was deemed far too prurient for the general populace. It was quite a feat for someone to get permission to see all of the items of erotica that were excavated.

"It sounds as if, how do you say it? All of your ducks are lined up. It will not take me long to pack at all, but I will need to speak to the Curator to let him know I have been hired to seek another relic." She looked at him. "You are hiring me, aren't you?"

She knew this was dear to Jesse's heart and she would help him for free for the respect and friendship (and possibly more) that she held for him. But money was money and she could not just leave at a moment's notice. She would have to come up with a cover story. She did not want anyone to know what she was really up to with Jesse.

 

[DrStein]

To the question of why he'd be drinking, Jesse answered plainly, "My favorite speakeasy got raided a month ago. Since then, it's been hard to find a good gin joint." That was mostly true. Part of the motivation was wanting to forget some of the words he'd said to his father when he left.

He arched a brow at the mention of the Secret Cabinet. "There's a story behind that. Maybe you could tell me about it over drinks tonight after you're done here."

He shrugged when she asked if he would pay her. "Sweetheart, if you need a check for a cover story, it's the least I can do. Turns out Petrovic had good taste. The stuff you helped me plunder from his mansion was worth a small fortune to the antique dealers in Manhattan. Got me the new glad rags." He stood up and fixed his sleeves before putting the jacket back on. "I'll need to swing by the hotel to grab a check, but I can be back before closing time if you need to show the boss man the money today."

 

[haremfaery]

"I see." Drina grinned. "Perhaps when you return I can send you some whiskey and my homemade Limoncello wrapped up like an important artifact that no one in customs would dare open for fear of breaking the priceless [/i]objets[/i] inside." She would enjoy smuggling booze to Jesse. "In fact...I know someone in my family who could supply quite a bit. We have the perfect cover, you know."

"Telling you about the Cabinet is nothing like actually seeing it. I will make arrangements to show it to you tonight." She had a devilish glint in her eye. She was curious to see Jesse's reaction to the things deemed too blatant for most people's sensibilities. "Only individuals of strong moral fibre are permitted to see the items in the Cabinet. The door is padlocked with heavy chains."

She quirked a smile at the mention of Jesse's gains from Petrovic's trove. "It is a shame we could not carry more. But...one should not be too greedy."

She let her eyes sweep over him as he put his jacket on. "Yes, meet me here and I will take you to the Secret Cabinet and then we can go for drinks, if you like." She stepped close to him and kissed him on each cheek. "Ciao, bello."

When Jesse left, she sat at her desk and made a few calls. One to get permission and the key to the room that held the erotica from Pompeii and Herculaneum, and another to the Director to explain her need to take a leave of absence. There was no denying her since she was so successful at finding artifacts for the museum and bringing acclaim to their city.

 

[DrStein]

When Jesse got back to his hotel, it occurred to him that he didn't know what the exchange rate for dollars to lira even though he had a pocket full of it. He hadn't been paying attention when he exchanged it at the bank. Figuring Drina would cover for him, just signed a check, pocketed it, and went down to the hotel bar.

A few hours later, he arrived at the museum again with gin blossoms and a large grin on his face. Despite his obvious intoxication, he was able to walk perfectly straight and showed so signs of slurring in his speech. If nothing else, Jesse could hold his alcohol. He strode right past the guard from before, who fixed him with a bit of a scowl, and straight down the hall as he remembered it to Drina's office. He didn't bother knocking and just let himself in. "I brought the check," he beamed. "I can't remember how much is how much..." He paused, realizing how awkward that sentence sounded. "The exchange rate." He pulled the check out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "Just write what you need there."

He lowered himself into a chair and sighed. "Maybe after closing time we should get some dinner before seeing this big secret thing you talked about. I think I hit the booze a little hard." That was an understatement. At the current rate he'd be as much of an alcoholic as his father, which would be one of the few things he had left in common with the old goat. And that thought just made Jesse want to drink even more.

 

[haremfaery]

((Ok, I looked up the pronunciation of gae bulg...LOL))

Drina chuckled and shook her head. "You could regret saying that in the morning. But I never take advantage of a drunk man. Much."

"Dinner first, then. And you can tell me more about this gay bulge of yours." She could speak many languages but Gaelic was not one of them.

She stood at her desk and using a very beautiful enameled fountain pen, wrote in and amount on the check. She picked it up and waved it at him. "I'll be right back and then we can go."

She left Jesse alone in her office. She returned after ten minutes. "There's a wonderful restaurant just around the corner." She walked to the door of her office with him and then took his arm once they were in the corridor.

They walked out of the gray-stoned building and passed more of similar architecture, down the block and around the corner to where the street was lined with shops. The restaurant had a large red and greem awning with round iron scrollwork tables for two and four people. A group of old men were drinking espresso and playing a card game. Occasionally one would yell, "Basta!" And throw his card on the stack.

There were a few scattered patrons, some local workers and some tourists who had probably spent the day in the museum.

Drina let Jesse hold her chair for her and sat down. A very pretty Neapolitan woman came to hand them menus and take their drink order.

"Wine? Or do you want to stay with your whiskey?" She asked Jesse before she their drinks ordered in Italian.

She looked over the menu. "The calamari is good here, as are the octopus suckers. Langostinos...Mussels...everything is good."

 

[DrStein]

Jesse hated waiting and spent the entire ten minutes fidgeting around and looking at the decor in the office trying to amuse himself. It was a relief when Drina returned and took him to the restaurant. Unfortunately for him, the entire menu was in Italian and he barely knew enough to get directions. He had already gotten a number of funny looks from the locals for his questionable grammar and the fact that he pronounced everything with an obvious American accent. "Why don't you order for me, doll?" he suggested after a minute of trying and failing to make heads or tails of the menu. "And wine is fine. I already had two glasses at the hotel bar plus a bourbon, a scotch, and... something I can't remember how to pronounce, but hey, the night is young!" That was an understatement. The sun hadn't even gone down yet.

He took off his jacket and rolled up the shirt sleeves once more. The Italians seemed less scandalized by that than his countrymen typically were. He draped the jacket over the back of his chair and sat down, smiling at Drina. "You know, Ireland's going to be kind of a switch. When we get to the rural areas, I'm going to be doing most of the talking." In preparation for the trip, he had spent a month with his maternal grandparents speaking in nothing but Gaelic. Though he still wasn't an expert, he knew enough now to see them through.

"Did you have a chance to look over the documents and the map before you left?"

 

[haremfaery]

Drina ordered an antipasto, the calamari and ravioli with a bottle of the local red table wine that she preferred. She turned her attention back to Jesse when the waitress left.

"I do not want you to get too drunk...I have not seen you in a long while." She gave him a sultry smile. It looked a little out of place with her hair pulled up in a bun and her conservative skirt suit.

"It will be quite a different experience for me to rely on you for translations." She chuckled a bit.

Their waitress brought their wine bottle and opened it at the table. She disappeared for a bit and came back with a basket of crusty bread and a plate with oil in it sprinkled with herbs. Drina let Jesse pour while she broke off a piece of bread and dipped it in the oil. Then Jesse would know what to do with it if he didn't already know.

"Only briefly. I thought you could fill me in and then I can look at everything more carefully." She leaned toward him. "This I can say: I am grateful this artifact has nothing to do with an actual god. Only a famous legendary hero. I think I have had enough of the gods for awhile."

 

[DrStein]

Jesse noted that Drina was unusually happy to see him. Usually she was very dismissive of his constant pet names for her, his flirting... It wasn't until they were alone and safe that the clothes started coming off. He liked it more when she wasn't so... openly responsive. When they seemed to be competing to see who could get the last word. He hid his disappointment however. Maybe it was just that they were meeting under peaceful circumstances instead of competitive ones. Maybe his willingness to see the Gae Bulg go to a museum broke down her usual barriers. Maybe she was just happy to see him after he had literally died in her arms six months ago.

"I'll second the sentiment on the gods... Anyway, near as Ciaran and I can tell, the map was originally made by an order of Irish warriors who wanted to protect ancient treasures and locations. They did such a good job keeping themselves secret that those documents are the only evidence they even existed. Showed it to a couple of historians Stateside and this is the first they've ever heard of it.

"On that note," he remarked before pausing to tear into a chunk of bread. "Some of the museums in the States are probably going to be interested in the spear once we get it. If the various universities want to fight over who gets it, that's not really my concern. I just want this thing to go to something other than a private collection. My family are descended from Cuchulain. I feel like if I sold it... I'd be selling out my whole family." Jesse's expression turned rather solemn at that. He looked away and went very quiet.

 

[haremfaery]

This really was a very different side of Jesse. Drina cocked her head. "A descendant of the legendary Cuchulain...Are you sure that isn't just some of your blarney to impress me?" She smirked.

"It just seems rather funny for you to have something you're willing to let museums fight over instead of just handing over to a private collector. Does this mean you have seen the light, or is this just for your Irish relic?"

The waitress came back with the antipasti, a plate of cold cuts and set it before them. Drina Served Jesse and then herself. "So, next stop...Ireland? Or have these devious warriors hidden their clues elsewhere?"

 

[DrStein]

Jesse shook his head. "No, doll. This is the gospel truth. My father's side are descended from Cuchulain. It's been a point of pride for us for generations. And I don't really know if 'seeing the light' is the right way to put this. It's just..." Six months ago Jesse had made a number of embarrassing confessions. He wasn't sure he wanted to make another one. The alcohol in his bloodstream was trying to convince him to throw caution to the wind, but he knew that feeling and thought better of it. "The thought of selling it off makes me feel like a heel."

He was happy for the distraction that food brought. "Yes and no. The map details a series of landmarks we'll have to go to. Supposedly the island it's kept on is perpetually shrouded in mist, so it's not on any regular maps. They left full directions at various checkpoints so that only those in the order would know all the details."

 

[haremfaery]

"Now perhaps you understand a little of why I think it is important for precious relics to be in museums and not in private collections." Drina said.

She frowned a bit about the mist-shrouded island trying to remember a story about it. "The Isle of the Blessed? Something like that? Isn't King Arthur supposed to be sleeping there?"

She nibbled another piece of meat from the antipasto. "I really have never seen you like this before, Jesse. I still don't know if it is an improvement or not." She just felt awkward after their last adventure. Trying to fall back into their previous somewhat adversarial relationship just wasn't working.

 

[DrStein]

Jesse shook his head at the mention of the Isle of the Blessed. "Don't think so. Near as we can tell, the island is a place where these warriors just hid things to keep them safe."

She mentioned that he had changed. Maybe he had. With the alcohol going to his head, he said something that he immediately wished he had played off with humor like usual. "Yeah, well... A few things changed for me Stateside." Vague, but true. New York was feeling less and less like a home as time went on. And in the last six months, he wondered if he ever really had a home to begin with.

 

[haremfaery]

"Hmm. If it's just a normal island that makes me feel better." Drina said.

She frowned a bit at his revelation. They had never been ones to share things about their personal lives with each other, but Jesse had changed everything when they were in South America. She wanted to say something to put them back to the way they used to be with each other. But she could think of nothing. She could not make a joke about his sexual exploits since he told her that he hadn't been with any other women but her for the past two years.

"And you don't want to tell me about it. That is fine."

The waitress brought their pasta dishes. Drina was happy for the interruption. "Tell me, is the food in Ireland as bad as what they eat in England?"

 

[DrStein]

Jesse frowned a little at her response to his slip. "Now's just not a good time. Maybe later... Preferably when I'm sober."

The smile returned to his face when she asked about the food in Ireland. "That depends. How much do you like potatoes?"

After dinner, Jesse offered Drina his arm with that roguish smile she was accustomed to seeing on him. "You had something to show me at the museum? You've got me all curious, you can't leave me hanging now."

 

[haremfaery]

Drina raised her eyebrows, "When you are sober?" She chuckled a little. "That could be quite some time then." But her interest was piqued. A relic hunter had to have a great curiosity as did any archeologist. She did not like unanswered questions.

"Potatoes?" She laughed again. "I suppose I'll manage. I've eaten worse. Far worse."

Now that he had eaten and they had been talking of nothing consequential, Jesse seemed to be back to his old self.

She gave him a wink. "I can assure that you have never seen anything like this even before in your life. You will never think of the ancient Romans the same way again." She gave him a saucy wink and led him back to the museum, through the main doors, up some stairs, past Roman busts and cases with pottery shards, past a wall of mosaics from Pompeii of sea monsters and finally to a large wrought Iron door, more like a gate really. And it was indeed padlocked.

Drina pulled out an old key and opened the lock. She led him into the first chamber, there in the middle was a large, but smaller than life-size statue of a satyr or possibly Bacchus with a very obvious and large erection, with a faun on his lap.

Drina looked at Jesse to see his reaction.

((In case you want to see some examples http://www*****initaly.com/tourism/campania/pompeii.asp))

 

[DrStein]

Jesse blinked twice before his eyebrows climbed up toward his hair line. "Is... Is that what I think it is?" he asked with a slight giggle in his voice. He looked back at the statue with his face split in a big grin as laughter started to bubble out of his chest. He always was a very merry drunk. "Oh brother! What the fuck was going on in ancient Rome?"

He looked around at some of the other pieces and just giggled again. "So... this is all from Pompeii? Shame the volcano took 'em out. Looks like these people knew how to party." He wiped a hand back through his hair, messing up some of the waxed locks. "Was this sort of thing common and the professors just don't like to talk about it? Or was it specifically Pompeii?"

 

[haremfaery]

Drina laughed. "Surely you recognize what's going on there. Wait until you see Mercury Priapris."

Drina watched Jesse look around with amusement. "This was very common in Pompeii and elsewhere in the Roman Empire. They were very open about their sexuality. Most people did not read, so buildings were clearly marked with pictures so you knew what went on inside. Most brothels had paintings or carvings of large cock and balls. But the wealthy houses were very extravagant in their explicit mosaics and statuary. In the 1700s archaeologists discovered some of these..." she searched for the word and decided on, "naughty things. They covered them back up in the hopes that later archaeologists would not have to worry about certain people wanting these things destroyed."

She took his hand and led him around to look at vases and plates depicting men with men and men with women in various positions.

"You see why we must keep these things locked up. The general public would be shocked to see such blatant images."

((Terry Jones did a documentary series and one was on sex. Very funny, but also very accurate and he shows some of the secret chamber.))

 

[DrStein]

"And here I thought academia was all boring paperwork," Jesse half-joked. He playfully gave Drina's ass a little squeeze as they looked around. "I've seen a few artists get... risque back in the States, but this? This is nuts. I can see why you keep this stuff under wraps. If the preachers back home in New York saw this stuff, they'd blow out a few major organs in rage. You're a stone's throw from the Pope. Can only imagine how he and the rest of the Vatican would react."

 

[haremfaery]

Drina grinned. "The ancients had a much more liberal view of sex than we do now. There was a time when certain people wanted paint over them. But instead locking them away seemed a better choice. No true archaeologist nor lover or art could see these things defaced."

She laughed at mention of the Pope. She moved closer to Jesse and whispered in his ear. "If you think this is bad, you should see the Pope's private collection." She brushed her hip against him.

She pointed out some mosaics of men and women in various positions. We think that these may have been a sort of menu...possibly with prices written next to them. She ran her hand over one of the many well endowed statues.

 

[DrStein]

"Is that a euphemism for something?" Jesse asked at the mention of the pope's private collection? He watched the way her hand trailed across one of the statues and felt a stirring in his loins. For a brief moment, he envied the statue.

When they had concluded their tour, Jesse offered Drina his arm and led the two of them out of the building. "Shall I walk you home, doll? Or are you going to lead my drunken ass back to the hotel?" He winked at her. Either option worked for him and though he joked about his inebriation, he was starting to sober up a little. His movements were becoming more confident and coordinated and he no longer had to pause before speaking to keep his speech together. Though still pink in the cheeks, he was clear-headed enough for now.

 

[haremfaery]

Drina laughed melodiously. "I am serious. The Pope has a collection of erotica much larger than what you see here. This is only what was found in Pompeii. The Pope's collection spans centuries."

"Your hotel is closer I think. Unless you prefer my apartment." Both were in the same direction. She steered Jesse that way. She marveled how he could be so drunk and yet be able to walk and talk as if not affected, even more so, how he could function in the bedroom. Drina was able to hold her liquor very well for a woman, but she could not hold a candle to Jesse.

She smirked and squeezed his 'drunken ass' as the turned down a street.

 

[DrStein]

((Sorry about the slow pace lately. Once August ended, work came back with a vengeance.))

"Your place. I don't think I've ever seen it." He stood up a little straighter when she gave his backside a little squeeze and grinned. "Last time I was in Europe... Four years ago I think. Germany. A client wanted me to find him some authentic shrunken heads for his collection.

"Gotta say, life on the continent is pretty nice. I could see myself getting a little place in Rome or Barcelona or Vienna when I retire... You know, assuming I live that long." He winked at that. "Between all the adventures we've been through and the fact that death by alcohol poisoning may as well be considered natural causes where I grew up, I must have the luck of the Irish, horseshoes in both pockets, and a whole garden of four-leaf clovers somewhere."

 

[haremfaery]

((No Problem with slow posting. I'm working on a proofreading project from hell, so I am slow posting as well.))

"No, I don't believe you have ever been to my apartment." Drina took Jesse's elbow and turned down a street. "Were you able to find the shrunken heads for him? I hear there are a lot of fakes out there."

"Vienna? Pah. German food." She made a face.

She was thoughtful for a moment. "Or the gods have their eyes on you."

She turned down a narrow street. "Here we are." The outside of the building was tan brick with turquise woodwork and iron railings around the Juliet balconeys on the upper floors. The neighborhood looked quaint and cleaner than the streets on the main streets.

Drina led Jesse inside. It was dark and cool with lights on in wall sconces. The walls and floor were a warm wood, chestnut perhaps. There was a lobby area with leather chairs and reading lights. They walked to the elevators. The ancient kind with a brass cage.

They went inside and she pushed the button for the third floor. She led him down the hall to her apartment. The ceilings were high, the windows long and narrow. Her living room was neat and comfortable but lived in. There were lots of shelves with books and mementos, some were archeological finds. There were fresh flowers on a side table. Her furniture and artwork were eclectic, showing her varied interests. The floors were white marble with rugs scattered here and there. A large-bladed ceiling fan hung in the center of the room.

"More to drink? Or are you done for the night?" She toed off her shoes with a little sigh.

 

[DrStein]

"Two in fact. Real thing, too. I charged extra for the lengths I went to get the damn things authenticoted... -cated. Whatever. Thieving kraut bastard try to lowball me, so I threatened to walk out and find another buyer. That got his attention."

Jesse looked around, taking a look at the archaeological pieces on the shelves. "See you've got a little collection yourself. Sold most of mine when I sold my house. Kept the best pieces and my brother looks after them. My sister-in-law hates that I decided to keep the kapala I picked up in Tibet. Creeps her out."

He turned back to Drina and shrugged off his jacket and loosened his tie. He hung the former on the back of an armchair and shoved his hands into his pockets with a thoughtful expression. "I'm thinking clearer now. I told you that I'd tell you what's eating me. Do you want to talk about it now while I'm still blotto enough to keep from having second thoughts? Or save it for tomorrow?"