Sensuality: The Flipside

[KalIsBack]

I got into a bit of an argument yesterday, over a somewhat simple topic. Me and my friend were discussing sensuality, and the lack thereof in certain people, and the seeming abundance in others. And she put forth a theory that men aren't exactly the most sensual creatures. Women are sensual, men are not.

Sexual, yes. Aggressive, yes. Sensual? Eh.

Intuitively, I disagree with her. But, I found that I had no counterargument. I've never seen a man be sensual.

So, ladies, I have a question for you: What makes a man sensual? What can he do that you find sensual?

 

[suckonsimon]

I like this one a lot! Women, please respond! You'll get roses!

 

[Twlightdreamer]

Let's define the word sensual first...

Sensual
adjective
1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.
2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.
3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.
5. of or relating to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.
6. pertaining to the philosophical doctrine of sensationalism.
( Courtesy of dictionary.reference.com )

According to that definition, most of the men I've been attracted to in the past were sensual. They voiced their appetites for sex, lacked some of the moral restraints placed by society, and aroused my senses.

That makes me wonder- why are men considered to be less sensual than women? Perhaps it's American culture that makes us think so- men are taught to hide their feelings, act "manly" and rawr all that shit. Women are allowed to show a full range of feelings, act naturally, and be themselves.

I need another cup of coffee to think any better than that. Sorry, Kal!

 

[may_I_please]

Oh. There's food for thought.

Sensuality vs sexuality vs romance? Are they interchangeable

My partner can be intensely romantic: running baths, cooking for me, massage, teasing when I'm in a position that I can't push it further..would I call that sensual? Probably not. At least not without conscious thought to be honest but that is most probably unfair..they are sensual acts.

The brooding male model shots can be intensely sensual

I suppose sensuality is in the eye of the beholder...men are more attuned to consider women sensual, women to consider men more predatory, more sexual

Sensual is a softer word

Is it a patriarchal issue? This split of definition.

Tbh I'm ill and feverish and possibly disjointed and not sure that babble makes much sense

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I got into a bit of an argument yesterday, over a somewhat simple topic. Me and my friend were discussing sensuality, and the lack thereof in certain people, and the seeming abundance in others. And she put forth a theory that men aren't exactly the most sensual creatures. Women are sensual, men are not.

Sexual, yes. Aggressive, yes. Sensual? Eh.

Intuitively, I disagree with her. But, I found that I had no counterargument. I've never seen a man be sensual.

So, ladies, I have a question for you: What makes a man sensual? What can he do that you find sensual?

If you consider that sensuous/sensual refer to the senses instead of the more brain/logic side of things, men are very sensual.

You, yourself, posted that your initial response was intuitive.

If you're asking for examples that I would give..
When he brushes the lint from my jacket before touching my hair
When he cooks dinner, filling the house with different aromas
When we take a bath together or enjoy a couples massage

and he might say..
Warm breath that penetrates clothing before it's removed
Skin that's been flushed by a shared workout
The smell of a freshly manicured golf course

 

[suckonsimon]

I need another cup of coffee to think any better than that. Sorry, Kal!

Tbh I'm ill and feverish and possibly disjointed and not sure that babble makes much sense

Gals! Have roses! good beginning and thanks.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Hmm, I also think it depends on your definition of sensual. I personally tend to think of sensual as playing at the edges of sex, eliciting the desire for sex, prolonging the build up to sex. Basically it comes down to patience for me. With that in mind, I would say that in general, women are more sensual as we tend to want/be as interested in the build up to sex as much as the actual sex act itself. With that said however, I think most men are very sensual, just not for as long as most women would like them to be in the moment

For some people sensuality is about subtlety and those people do not find words or looks that are blatantly sexual as sensual, for others they are. The OP's friend has their own particular ideal of what sensual is and that definition would skew their objectivity as all opinions on this subject are likely to be.

 

[may_I_please]

I also think it's far easier for a woman to project a sensual image than a man. I know with the right choice of clothes/lingerie, stance and look I can project sensuality easily: that look from beneath heavy lashes, the softly bitten lip...

When you google female sensuality there are a plethora of images that you can immediately accept as heterosexually sensual. Do the same for men and the images returned easily cross the line into gay sensuality,..perhaps the imagery of sensuality is somewhat feminine?

 

[alt_ego]

Let's define the word sensual first...

Sensual
adjective
1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.
2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.
3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.
5. of or relating to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.
6. pertaining to the philosophical doctrine of sensationalism.
( Courtesy of dictionary.reference.com )

According to that definition, most of the men I've been attracted to in the past were sensual. They voiced their appetites for sex, lacked some of the moral restraints placed by society, and aroused my senses.

That makes me wonder- why are men considered to be less sensual than women? Perhaps it's American culture that makes us think so- men are taught to hide their feelings, act "manly" and rawr all that shit. Women are allowed to show a full range of feelings, act naturally, and be themselves.

I need another cup of coffee to think any better than that. Sorry, Kal!

Based on these descriptions, I guess I am sensual. I,m 2, 4, and 5.

 

[KalIsBack]

The brooding male model shots can be intensely sensual

I suppose sensuality is in the eye of the beholder...men are more attuned to consider women sensual, women to consider men more predatory, more sexual

Sensual is a softer word

Is it a patriarchal issue? This split of definition.

Tbh I'm ill and feverish and possibly disjointed and not sure that babble makes much sense

I've never found brooding male model shots to be intensely sensual. But, that being said, you as a woman say they are. Why?

Sensual is a softer word, yes, and I can't imagine a man being soft in his sexual pursuits. That's a gross exaggeration, but the words aren't coming out exactly right... I suppose, given today's society, a man is expected to be more aggressive, etc. Does that preclude him from being sensual?

If you consider that sensuous/sensual refer to the senses instead of the more brain/logic side of things, men are very sensual.

You, yourself, posted that your initial response was intuitive.

If you're asking for examples that I would give..
When he brushes the lint from my jacket before touching my hair
When he cooks dinner, filling the house with different aromas
When we take a bath together or enjoy a couples massage

and he might say..
Warm breath that penetrates clothing before it's removed
Skin that's been flushed by a shared workout
The smell of a freshly manicured golf course

Mmm. Touché. I, personally, find intelligence attractive. Not necessarily sensual, but attractive. Sensual can mean, in the literal sense, strictly appealing to the senses. But here, in the context of a largely erotic sense, how can he be sensual?

For some people sensuality is about subtlety and those people do not find words or looks that are blatantly sexual as sensual, for others they are. The OP's friend has their own particular ideal of what sensual is and that definition would skew their objectivity as all opinions on this subject are likely to be.

Of course. She has her opinion, I have mine. I disagreed with her. Still do. I just don't have the words for it.

I also think it's far easier for a woman to project a sensual image than a man. I know with the right choice of clothes/lingerie, stance and look I can project sensuality easily: that look from beneath heavy lashes, the softly bitten lip...

When you google female sensuality there are a plethora of images that you can immediately accept as heterosexually sensual. Do the same for men and the images returned easily cross the line into gay sensuality,..perhaps the imagery of sensuality is somewhat feminine?

I've never googled male sensuality. Perhaps I will.

But I refuse to accept that men are incapable of being sensual. Women, as you yourself explain, have that wonderful ability to tempt a man without doing anything explicitly tempting, to be sensual without necessarily being sexual. I've never seen a guy do it.

I remain confuzzled. *chuckle*

 

[Paul_Chance]

Sensual
adjective
1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.
2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.
3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.
5. of or relating to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.
6. pertaining to the philosophical doctrine of sensationalism.
( Courtesy of dictionary.reference.com )

I'm six for six on the definition as given, so I would have to say yes, men can and are sensual. I'd be curious, when you have a conversation with your friend, about why she thinks that and how she is defining sensuality. My guess would be there is probably some narrow definition behind her belief.

I have no problem with men's sensuality - I admire a sensual man as much as I admire a sensual woman. I think they are just aspects of humanity. In America at least, if there is a difference between the genders, I think the difference would simply be that more women emphasize their sensuality in the appearance. On the other hand, I look damn good in a Tom Ford suit.

Been a while Kal, good to see you.

 

[KalIsBack]

Sensual
adjective
1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.
2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.
3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.
5. of or relating to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.
6. pertaining to the philosophical doctrine of sensationalism.
( Courtesy of dictionary.reference.com )

I'm six for six on the definition as given, so I would have to say yes, men can and are sensual. I'd be curious, when you have a conversation with your friend, about why she thinks that and how she is defining sensuality. My guess would be there is probably some narrow definition behind her belief.

I have no problem with men's sensuality - I admire a sensual man as much as I admire a sensual woman. I think they are just aspects of humanity. In America at least, if there is a difference between the genders, I think the difference would simply be that more women emphasize their sensuality in the appearance. On the other hand, I look damn good in a Tom Ford suit.

Been a while Kal, good to see you.

If we're going by the book, yes. I fit all 6 of those definitions, much like I'm sure many other people do.

She based it off of her experiences. As for her definition of sexuality, hers was as vague as mine is to you. I quote 'Seductive without trying to seduce.' (which opens up a whole argument about semantics).

How do you define male sensuality, Paul?

And yes. Been a while. I trust everything is going well on your end of the world.

 

[Paul_Chance]

If we're going by the book, yes. I fit all 6 of those definitions, much like I'm sure many other people do.

She based it off of her experiences. As for her definition of sexuality, hers was as vague as mine is to you. I quote 'Seductive without trying to seduce.' (which opens up a whole argument about semantics).

How do you define male sensuality, Paul?

And yes. Been a while. I trust everything is going well on your end of the world.

For me, it would be male who appeals to the senses - what I find attractive in another man is a level of physical fitness (but not too fit), attractive and proportional features, good grooming, smells good (can be anything from soap to cologne), and a subconscious awareness of the sensual world. A person that you want to touch, taste, smell, and hear.

Things are going well on this end of the work, went through a high cycle of business related travel before the holidays and still recovering.