SEX related injuries

[cantdog]

For months Renza was hmm how can I pharse this a sex machine then t he last weeks(it seemed like months to me mind you) she was all celibate and stuff. It was likefinding out your wages had been cut insted of raised ( but boy oh boy were the work duties increased)

That's the picture, universally; it's hormonal. BIG sex drive in the first months, then a trimester or less of low drive and nesting anxiety.

Love pulls you into it, love gets you through it. A mom is a wonderful and powerful thing.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

And people wonder why I don't like hospitals

-Colly

Do they have to take out insurance to sleep with you?

 

[destinie21]

Try explaining 3 black eyes within a two year span to your folks. (Don't get me wrong, I've never been beat up during... but I do get clumsy and bruise extremely easily.)

I've had black eyes, once a cut over my eye (because a picture frame fell off the wall and hit me) and then there was the time I had a sprained wrist. (fell off of /broke of a table)

 

[phhillip08]

limerick

[
reminded of old limerick

there once was a couple named kelly
who were forced to walk belly to belly
because in their haste
they used wall paper paste
instead of vaginal jelly


QUOTE]Originally posted by Wicked-N-Erotic
I have two funny stories of sex related injuries.
The first comes when my husband and I first started dating. We were being very playful during the build up to actual sex. I was laying on my back on the bed and he had come and jumped on top of me, sraddling me, not resting his weight on me. He slid up and put his knees on my arms so I couldn't move and started to lightly "pop" me on the lips with his dick. He did this a few times until all of the sudden he "popped" me a little too hard and busted my lip open. It swelled up pretty good and bled a little. It was a very funny incident, it didn't really hurt but the result had us both rolling with laughter after he spent several minutes appoligizing and feeling like an idiot.

The second is probably a pretty common sex related injury, Once during sex my husband decided on the spur of the moment to "pull out" and cum on my face, it took me by surprise as I didn't expect it. As he shot his load into my unsuspecting face I had my eyes open and some of it got into my eye. It burned like hell and within an hour my eye was completely swollen shut, puffy and red.

Another funny part to these stories is that they happened within a few days of one another. We both worked at the same place at the time and after the second incident, showing up to work with an eye swollen shut, our boss and good friend took me aside and asked so seriously if he was hitting me? I tried to just give a "I'm fine, it was an accident" response, without having to get into details of how the injuries actually happened but she kept pushing me saying that it wasn't right for me to cover up if he was abusing me and I finally had to tell her just how the injuries happened. I think she was a bit embarrased after the truth came out but we all had a good laugh.


Wicked [/QUOTE]

 

[Teenage Venus]

I went out with this young Marine once. We had a quicky whilst he waited to catch his bus. He was hospitalised for a couple of days. I met him a couple of years later. He told me of the embarrassment he suffers wherever he goes.

Seems that one of the first things checked on arrival is medical records. His has in rather large print:

"Strained left testicle. Cause: performing sexual intercourse in an upright position. Treatment: testicles placed in sling. Excused duties fourteen days." (It gave the dates.)

I was almost 5' 2" (in high heels). He went 6' 4". Oh the joys of early days sex with eager he-men amateurs!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Bad Kind

Severe back sprain (certain types of sex in the shower are a 'no-go' at this station)

Hip dislocation (ouch!)

Splinters

Good Kind

Dental Records in my flesh.

Bright pink nail tracks in back.

~lucky

 

[matriarch]

Bad Kind

Severe back sprain (certain types of sex in the shower are a 'no-go' at this station)

Hip dislocation (ouch!)

Splinters

Good Kind

Dental Records in my flesh.

Bright pink nail tracks in back.

~lucky

Tell me all you people are making these up???
You are......aren't you ????

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Tell me all you people are making these up

I would never

 

[cloudy]

I haven't had any injuries besides pulled muscles, but I have destroyed several pieces of furniture, including one bed that collapsed.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Tell me all you people are making these up???
You are......aren't you ????

Take some of your poetic/photographic/artistic creativity into the bedroom (or the shower) and you'll see for yourself.

Love hurts.

 

[Guest]

I haven't had any injuries besides pulled muscles, but I have destroyed several pieces of furniture, including one bed that collapsed.

That reminds me...

I did get a nasty gash on the back of my head once. The headboard banging against the wall knocked some plaster loose from the ceiling.

Good thing I sheilded her. Would have been a shame to see her pretty face messed up from that.

 

[matriarch]

I think I'm going to go celibate.
Sounds safer.

 

[Guest]

I think I'm going to go celibate.
Sounds safer.

You survived thus far, and in fine fashion I might add, Why stop now?

 

[boxofrocks]

*bump*

 

[cantdog]

Injury to my dignity, one time.
To my foot, another.

I made it to campus from my girlfriend's place only just in time for French class. It would, of course, have to be French.

It was a lively class, lots of speaking. At the end, as I was leaving, a female class member came up to me.

"Excuse-moi, s'il te plâit," she said, and peered into my face. Then she went off with a nod and a significant look to her girlfriend, and the two of them stifled laughter and disappeared. A guy came up and checked my face, as well.

By now, I'm wondering what sort of big blob of ink I have on my forehead. Am I growing horns? What?

The guy saw my puzzlement and said, "You really ought to check a mirror. Look at your mouth. See ya."

I lost no time doing just that. There was a curly blonde pubic hair between my teeth.

The foot thing was more mundane. A bed collapsed and skun the back of my heel. Shoes were unbearable for a week.

cantdog

 

[destinie21]

I haven't had any injuries besides pulled muscles, but I have destroyed several pieces of furniture, including one bed that collapsed.

lol One wicker bed two dining room tables and an antique chair. Damn shoddy workmanship I say

 

[Guest]

There was a curly blonde pubic hair between my teeth.

I call that an excellent reference. Your story's the best after Colly's.
Perdita )

 

[cantdog]

I hesitated to contribute it, at first, because it isn't really an injury. I was young, though-- 17-- it made me blush in that class a few times in the days to follow. The girl who checked closer used to smirk at me in class, but her girlfriend chatted me up after a week or so had passed.

College would have been a lot more fun if I hadn't been so madly in love, already.

 

[Belegon]

I haven't had any injuries besides pulled muscles, but I have destroyed several pieces of furniture, including one bed that collapsed.

My first live-in girlfriend and I lived in a camping trailer. The bed was one of those numbers where you had storage underneath a wood frame with plywood over it. We broke the plywood and one of the supports one night.

We were both 19 and too embarrassed to ask her dad or my dad for help fixing it. Eventually, my sisters boyfriend helped me fix it a couple of weeks later. Just a little less than 20 years later my brother-in-law still brings it up on occasion.

On the marked up back front: a couple years after the above mentioned incident, I was back living at home with my parents for a brief time and I had an evening with a rather aggressive-minded young lady. The next morning I walked from the shower to my bedroom clad only in a towel around my waist. Behind me I heard a crash and gasp. My mother had come into the hallway and dropped her coffee mug.

The girl had done more than raise welts, she had drawn blood from my back with her nails.

Unlike my brother-in-law, my mother and I have never spoken of the incident...