Sex & Shenanigans

[UnquietDreams]

We lost you at cracker crumbs, really?

You have to draw a line somewhere. Like no sex in a hot tub, ew.

Only a couple people get away with cracker crumbs...

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

If you have a son - at some point you will be exposed to things that you'll never be able to delete from your memory.

During the ultrasound stage I was hoping for a son, but I think I could've had 15 kids and they'd be all girls

I feel confident I could've taught him to use the sink like a normal guy

 

[MindYaBitness]

These are... unbelievably specific. Almost like you've encountered something like this before?

I won a very prestigious award with such a depiction.

Indeed, the Pic is FANTASTIC and should be given all the Golden Aubergine awards

If you have a son - at some point you will be exposed to things that you'll never be able to delete from your memory.

I was previously traumatized by having only older brothers. I've had some pretty great masterbation chats with my son as a result. Well, I thought they were great, he was counting the second until I'd shut up

 

[SWR101]

If you have a son - at some point you will be exposed to things that you'll never be able to delete from your memory.

Having been a teenage boy on my past… can easily imagine

But glad mine are girls…

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

You can have my award.

Well, now that you're giving it away so easily I'm not sure that I want it.


Wait... is it a Red Lobster gift card?

 

[__Nathan1968]

You have to draw a line somewhere. Like no sex in a hot tub, ew.

Only a couple people get away with cracker crumbs...

I know there is an extreme differing of opinions here, but sex in a hot tub, in my limited experience, was incredible and harbored not negative ramifications for my partner. 10/10 Would do again.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I know there is an extreme differing of opinions here, but sex in a hot tub, in my limited experience, was incredible and harbored not negative ramifications for my partner. 10/10 Would do again.

I married a nurse who became a college professor. At one point, she taught microbiology.

No.

 

[Lmizzler]

Well now, that you're giving it away so easily I'm not sure that I want it.


Wait... is it a Red Lobster gift card?

https://media2.giphy.com/media/kaTJ9lCH5Qu0kSPgv0/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952col77hofmeivn3gup1q11uumrue5pwyo9rzgwc0d&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[MindYaBitness]

Well now, that you're giving it away so easily I'm not sure that I want it.


Wait... is it a Red Lobster gift card?

If he trades his one of a kind Golden Aubergine award, that painstakingly crafted myself, for a red lobster gift card, I'm never showing him my cherries again!

 

[__Nathan1968]

I married a nurse who became a college professor. At one point, she taught microbiology.

No.

It wasn’t with her. I promise.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

If he trades his one of a kind Golden Aubergine award, that painstakingly crafted myself, for a red lobster gift card, I'm never showing him my cherries again!

But what if he does the cherry stem thing?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Oh, please may it be arranged?

Certainly. Until then, a teaser

 

[MindYaBitness]

https://media2.giphy.com/media/kaTJ9lCH5Qu0kSPgv0/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952col77hofmeivn3gup1q11uumrue5pwyo9rzgwc0d&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNm5nYjYzNGRrMmN4cThqYWIwbjV2bGhwcnVzc2dvNzV4NDR1MnhkeSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3oEdv5WEnYxgAvRiTu/giphy.gif

 

[UnquietDreams]

Certainly. Until then, a teaser

You always make me smile. Thank you for that, ever.

 

[MindYaBitness]

But what if he does the cherry stem thing?

You make a very good point...

 

[Lmizzler]

But what if he does the cherry stem thing?

I’m screwed!

 

[UnquietDreams]

It wasn’t with her. I promise.

I appreciate that.

 

[MandaPandaa]

I was previously traumatized by having only older brothers. I've had some pretty great masterbation chats with my son as a result. Well, I thought they were great, he was counting the second until I'd shut up

I also had traumatic experiences having younger and older brothers... I've walked into some things that I wish I hadn't. I blame myself for being more secretive and thinking boys also cared about not getting caught.

I've always been very open with my kids about masturbation and being safe sexually. My parents were the exact opposite. I'm pretty sure I traumatize them at least once a day talking about things typical moms don't discuss. It brings me joy.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I’m screwed!

In a hot tub?

 

[MindYaBitness]

Certainly. Until then, a teaser

I aspire to your croc game
https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaHo3enRlN3NnemJ0MG1ud21rdDRqOWNpbXA0ZzMwdTFpZDBzc3FnOSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/xUA7aZhmzXeCXq80Hm/giphy.gif

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

I’m screwed!

Protip. Just tie it in a knot with your hands and then stick it in your mouth, take a pic. Presto

 

[UnquietDreams]

I aspire to your croc game
https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaHo3enRlN3NnemJ0MG1ud21rdDRqOWNpbXA0ZzMwdTFpZDBzc3FnOSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/xUA7aZhmzXeCXq80Hm/giphy.gif

 

[__Nathan1968]

Protip. Just tie it in a knot with your hands and then stick it in your mouth, take a pic. Presto

You may as well fake your dick pic then.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I aspire to your croc game
https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaHo3enRlN3NnemJ0MG1ud21rdDRqOWNpbXA0ZzMwdTFpZDBzc3FnOSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/xUA7aZhmzXeCXq80Hm/giphy.gif

Game recognizes game

 

[MindYaBitness]

I also had traumatic experiences having younger and older brothers... I've walked into some things that I wish I hadn't. I blame myself for being more secretive and thinking boys also cared about not getting caught.

I've always been very open with my kids about masturbation and being safe sexually. My parents were the exact opposite. I'm pretty sure I traumatize them at least once a day talking about things typical moms don't discuss. It brings me joy.

"Use your imagination, don't lean into porn because you don't get to decide what you like. One week you're spanking it to the thought of some chick in math class, and the next week you'll not be able to get it up unless you see midget clown porn. It's a slippery slope" or "please, just do it in the shower, our washer wasn't meant to process stiff socks!"

I kind of love making him squirm with the truth