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Sex toy reviews 🥒

OrdinaryPerson said:
Yea I was gonna suggest the Nugget or a nugget rip off... (Look up Nugget after dark 😂)
Click to expand...
I have a nugget! Two actually 🤣
One of the triangle pieces was used last night. But it’s really not comfortable for that. Idk if it’s the height or the firmness or the fact that it’s the wrong angle. It just didn’t work in a way that I want to do again

__Nathan1968 said:
Is there a cheaper (and perhaps multi-purpose) option?

https://www.kangaroohoppers.com/pro...&kendall_source=google&variant=32479493488688
Click to expand...
I would absolutely hate this material. But I’m not against off brand! As long as it has reviews of people using it for sex lol. From what I read, liberator has another brand they own that sells the same product under another name for cheaper
 
Anybody have input on sex machines? Just regular one to try. Not the 1200 ones. One try and go from there?
And also, dildos, is it weird to want to use a long thick one on her? Input?
 
Bad review time.

Not about a particular toy.

But the experience of your toy running out of battery during use.

And having different controls on all of your toys so you spend the first few minutes trying to remember if it's a double click or long press of the power button to turn it on, and what the secret code is to change speeds or modes. Was this one the 1 second press for she's, and 3 second for mode? Or do you have to cycle through the speeds before you get to the modes? Oh, this one picked up where i left off. Crap, that one turns off after getting to the end of the menu? Argh!

Both of my prostate massagers conked out after 20 minutes or so on Monday. Just when things were starting to build.

I had planned on switching to my dildo, but list interest after getting the second massager out, cleaned, and out on the charger. Then i forgot i had taken the dildo into the bathroom while putting everything else away. I found it right where i left it the next morning.

Unsure if the wife saw it/noticed it/had any clue what it was 😬 again don't recommend that if you're being secretive about having your own toys..
 
Cucumbers and How to Use Them
Cucumber-Varieties-and-How-to-Use-Them.jpg


I was going to do a detailed review but, to be honest, I think it's self evident.
  • They're green.
  • They come in different sizes.
  • You get them in the fresh produce aisle and you don't have to look furtive when selecting and comparing (you just want to make the best raita, right?)
  • No batteries needed.
  • Easy to dispose of after use (no, don't slice them into the salad).
  • Use the Mexican and Hot House varieties with caution. Only for experienced practitioners.
  • Tianjin not recommended (at least, don't try to go all in).
 
Doc Johnson prostate plug

Bought one of these a couple of weeks ago, looking for something i can try wearing when i go out. Unfortunately i didn't notice the size is a bit larger than my Evolved vibrating massager and is not as comfortable going in or coming out. I wasn't able to leave it in for long as a result, therefore no enjoyment. Maybe with a little more practice I'll enjoy it.
 
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

IMG_7025.jpeg

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
Sold!
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
Omg, I don’t even know where to start with a response to this. I had things to say and then I got to the end…
Happy 1000th post, babe. Im so glad you’re here 😍 (and so glad you’re getting the mind blowing orgasms you deserve)

giphy.gif
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
Love how you celebrate! Have you started planning your 1100th post celebration yet? #cantwait!
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
It just occurred to me that you just recommended a product that renders sex with men for pleasure as obsolete and unnecessary and thanks to your 1000th post gif, I didn't even care. 😱
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...

I mean, I'm just pulling up a chair and listening for more moving descriptions of your orgasms.
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
I mean DAMN. I mean *I* kinda want this now. 🤣
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
That review is the second-hottest thing I have ever read on Literotica anywhere...
 
PassionatePanther said:
Do you like orgasms? Multiple orgasms? Then I’ve got the toy for you.
I don’t think I’ll ever use another one after using this. I’ve dubbed it “The Hall of Famer”, “Ol’ Reliable” and one other name dedicated to a certain Litster 😉

The Amour Vibe by Secret Affaire
(I’d link it but their website is down)

View attachment 2397428

It vibrates and sucks. Omfg, does it ever. The first time I used it, I came so hard that my back arched and my soul left my body. It also has a telescopic ring that moves up and down the shaft but I broke that mechanism from cumming so hard 💦💦. The Secret Affaire replaced it without issue but sadly, I broke the telescopic ring on that one too. My pussy works out, I guess. The vibrating and sucking are more than enough for multiple (I’m talking in the double digits) orgasms. Orgasms that have me screaming, tearing the sheets off the bed (and/or soaking them), punching pillows, clenching my toes (and pussy. RIP telescopic ring) and seeing stars.

I’d say the only slight negative is the clit sucker is a bit noisy (easily muffled by my thicc thighs)

giphy.gif


Also, after over a year of lurking and judging you freaky perverts, I’ve reached my 1000th post!
Let’s celebrate!
Click to expand...
You're hot. Wanna...?
giphy.gif
 
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