Sexless Marriages

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I just don't understand when in our 23 year marriage I turned in to a sex crazed man who only thinks about sex. When did it become a bad thing that my wife still turns me on and makes me want to have sex with her.
Divorce is not in my nature nor is cheating (in the flesh) so it leaves me with the occasional argument about how all I want is sex and how she never does but doesn't know why but promises to talk to the Dr about it. Then I get a pity hand job (blow job if I ask nice enough) and the the cycle continues. Till I get tired of jerking off to porn and decide to ignore the fear of getting shut down again and try to seduce my wife.

Sorry. Been married almost 20 years and spent most of it sexless. I can tell you the date of conception for my children. I haven't even seen my wife naked in almost 3 years.

Are there women reading this thread that are in marriages/relationships with men who have lost interest in sex?

There are, they've commented. I'd be willing to wager there are even more that just don't speak up because it would be akin to chumming the water for sharks.

 

[whiskeycowgirl23]

Are there women reading this thread that are in marriages/relationships with men who have lost interest in sex?

I am.
It's been almost two years since we have had sex. It's also been about 3 months since he has even kissed me. We sleep in the same bed but don't snuggle or even really touch for that matter.
It started that one hormone was to high. Got that down with medication. Now his testosterone is low. No meds to help that yet. I will see what he actually does once he gets his health insurance from work.

 

[curl4ever]

I am.
It's been almost two years since we have had sex. It's also been about 3 months since he has even kissed me. We sleep in the same bed but don't snuggle or even really touch for that matter.
It started that one hormone was to high. Got that down with medication. Now his testosterone is low. No meds to help that yet. I will see what he actually does once he gets his health insurance from work.

Sorry to hear! (Opposite in my marriage.)

He might want to try Clomid as a first approach. (Increases T significantly but without certain side effects and without needing injections a few times per week.)

Best wishes.

 

[Playblues2020]

I am.
It's been almost two years since we have had sex. It's also been about 3 months since he has even kissed me. We sleep in the same bed but don't snuggle or even really touch for that matter.
It started that one hormone was to high. Got that down with medication. Now his testosterone is low. No meds to help that yet. I will see what he actually does once he gets his health insurance from work.

Low testosterone is responsible for low sex drive in men and women.

 

[El_Dempo]

Long term relationship/marriage, dead bedroom for most of it. Easiest way to deal with it is to face up to it and accept that no miracles are happening.
Bit of online fun helps, but it's never quite enough

 

[fredrock]

Agreed!

 

[Croquet11]

Gentlemen, and any ladies who are part of this conversation! I think you may all be unaware of the fact that sex doesn't just pop up for women. As it does for men!! One of you stated that 'she could feel i was hard'. Nothing like that happens to women, as far as I am aware. Women need to be slowly and very patiently assured that they are attractive, desirable, and sexy; that their husbands do actually desire their wives. It's not as simple as it sounds. It's simply (no pun intended) a fact that men and women are different in their approaches to sex, or erotisim.

I belong to a group of ladies (not on here) who are in sexless marriages themselves. There is a world of information among those ladies. I joined because I myself am not exactly overflowing with hubby wanting sex every night or even every other night, or even every other week or month! It can sometimes be months or weeks before anything happens. When it does, it's in the middle on the night in the dark! Yes, I have discussed it with him, and yes he does have prostate issues, and yes there were many years when there was nothing at all. I know I was at fault just as much as he was. I also know that he loves me.

I really do think that affection is one of the keys to this whole mess, in any marriage by the way, it's not just those of us that have been married for many years, it's those who have sometimes only been married for a few years or even a year or two, or even have stopped having sex after they got married!!!

But what I wanted to relate to the gentleman is that a little bit of passion, and affection will go a long way to getting what you need from your wives. I know there are those wives who think that at 60 it's immoral or some such thing, but really there are wives who are just dying to have sex and affection with their husbands. The key gentleman, is most definitely communication. It's hard I know it's hard, it's hard for me, and it's hard for most of our generation, it's especially hard for me because hubby although he speaks English that's not his first language. I do communicate with him in his language too, but it is hard!!

It is however, worth it, if one is willing to put pride aside and talk to one another. A few nice dinners out in a nice restaurant, a drink in a piano bar, or something like that. Romance is so much a part of sex. Doing things together, helping one another etc. etc., I won't go on now you guys will think I'm some sort of therapist, and I'm not I just had to write so that you know.

Also I want to say that those guys who are bi or gay, try and be honest about it, women really do sense these things. Honesty and communication along with a lot of time and effort are certainly the key words here. Good lucky guys.

I have only recently joined this site for some romantic love stories where they live happily ever after. It is refreshing to read a thoughtful and sincere comment on this forum. I liked your blog and wish peace and happiness for you and Israel.

 

[Croquet11]

My wife is also in her early sixties, we're four or five years into her declining interest. She herself says that she is sorry and she is aware that it is a problem, she also enjoys it when we do have sex, it is just making the effort. All too often, I'm in the mood when we wake up and the response is something like "Sorry, I'm not in the mood but we'll have an early night." Then the evening comes and she is too tired. This morning she then realised that there is a certain football game on at 8pm, so I suggested going to bed at 6 and getting up again to watch the football (in a jokey manner) giggle in response but I'm pretty sure that I know what will happen.

I know the feeling. Thank goodness for this site and the sensual stories.

 

[silky52]

I have only recently joined this site for some romantic love stories where they live happily ever after. It is refreshing to read a thoughtful and sincere comment on this forum. I liked your blog and wish peace and happiness for you and Israel.

Thank you!

 

[Uneklensane]

My wife was just approved estrogen after 5 years no sex drive.

 

[Croquet11]

Thank you!

Good luck to you both.

 

[wellworn]

More than half my married life has been in a dead bedroom. I've found that no matter how caring and considerate to the reasons and causes of her low libido I've been, eventually enduring bitterness over the lack of sex set in.

Reading and writing stories was a relief for a short time a few years ago but I seem to be reduced now to dreaming about just even experiencing an all of existence in a kiss again, let alone any heart pounding physicality.

 

[Deadbed1968]

I am.
It's been almost two years since we have had sex. It's also been about 3 months since he has even kissed me. We sleep in the same bed but don't snuggle or even really touch for that matter.
It started that one hormone was to high. Got that down with medication. Now his testosterone is low. No meds to help that yet. I will see what he actually does once he gets his health insurance from work.

I like the twice weekly testosterone shots. If you aren’t queasy about giving yourself a shot, it’s pretty convenient and inexpensive (with insurance)

 

[Mittering]

For those men that still want it to be their wife's that they make love to because they are still hopelessly and helplessly in love with them, we don't deserve to be the bad guy. We don't deserve to have to give them an ultimatum. We don't deserve the title of cheater or deadbeat.

We are the ones with love in our hearts for them. They are the ones that have been letting go of us. Finish the job ladies. Let us go. Either to a paramore or out of your life completely.

Better yet, and it's what we've been asking for all along, come back to us. Come back to our love, our bed, our fun.

 

[Tina_LeVoiturier]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

How old is your wife? Age can affect a lot. If she is young, there will be many ways

 

[stephen88]

i don't really want to "step out" on her. But I just desire some physical intimacy. Not just receiving, but giving as well.

 

[stephen88]

Something else of late. Marriage has been sexless. Not new. But I have retired now, after ten years doing a job, I hated. But the plus side is everything is paid off. We have no debt. I am a trained Classical musician and would like to return to playing. I mentioned this and it was not met well by her. I just want to play. I am thinking she doesn't want to be alone in the house. All this training, decades of playing and practicing. Now I am expected to sit and watch reruns? I have a problem with this. Anyone have suggestions?

 

[Breastobsessed84]

Been married for 10 years and it's sexless. Other than that, everything is great. I remembered this site from when I was younger and decided to actually make a profile

 

[stephen88]

not a good night, not a good morning.

 

[Deadfreak]

not a good night, not a good morning.

Buys you a coffee
Pats you on your back

 

[Deadfreak]

Something else of late. Marriage has been sexless. Not new. But I have retired now, after ten years doing a job, I hated. But the plus side is everything is paid off. We have no debt. I am a trained Classical musician and would like to return to playing. I mentioned this and it was not met well by her. I just want to play. I am thinking she doesn't want to be alone in the house. All this training, decades of playing and practicing. Now I am expected to sit and watch reruns? I have a problem with this. Anyone have suggestions?

Play
Might make waves but better than holding resentment
Find a way to play

 

[stephen88]

Thanks

 

[One_ping_only]

I'm so sorry for the ones in these relationships. I have two close buddies who are in this situation and they're both so frustrated. They're good guys who would not care to outside of their relationship for sex ( at least not yet ) but their wives have simply lost all desire for sex.

 

[Winchester3030]

Something else of late. Marriage has been sexless. Not new. But I have retired now, after ten years doing a job, I hated. But the plus side is everything is paid off. We have no debt. I am a trained Classical musician and would like to return to playing. I mentioned this and it was not met well by her. I just want to play. I am thinking she doesn't want to be alone in the house. All this training, decades of playing and practicing. Now I am expected to sit and watch reruns? I have a problem with this. Anyone have suggestions?

Find a way to play! You have to for your own well being! Go enjoy! I am in a sexless marriage so I understand plus I also have a special hobby that I put on hold for a long time, I totally feel better life after I started to live for myself

 

[Dhfranklin94]

I'm so sorry for the ones in these relationships. I have two close buddies who are in this situation and they're both so frustrated. They're good guys who would not care to outside of their relationship for sex ( at least not yet ) but their wives have simply lost all desire for sex.

Maybe they should take care of each other.