Sexless Marriages

[write_or_wrong]

Allow me to jump in. This thread reflects very much my own situation which makes me sympathetic to the contributors.
I had a very satisfying sexlife until menopause brought all to a screeching halt. My wife accepts this as a new situation and ignores that my needs have not changed as hers.
I am curious to know what starting points you guys had - always vanilla or exciting and now dead and ignored.
I also wonder how we can help each other to bring some spark back

My case will probably not bring you much hope. My ultimate solution came about when I got divorced. It wasn't (just) about the lack of sex, it was also about the lack of any affection. I became a roommate with an attached ATM. That, plus divergent interests outside the bedroom, led to an amicable parting of the ways. We still talk and agree that each of us is happier than we would have been trying to pretend we were a couple.

However, before that point I had discovered how some of my sexual desires could be met with other guys - often in the same circumstances as me. It didn't feel as much like cheating as being with another woman, and the risks of discovery were much less.