Shoot Me Now

[oggbashan]

'My 36DDs sagged downwards as I saw reflected in the mirror the blood-stained body of my partner hanging from the light fitting with my control bra cutting deeply into his slashed throat. I peered closely as I used Kleenex to dab away the last blood spots from my uncontrolled breasts.

How was I to know that my obsession with mirrors and his obsession with my 36DDs would drive him to such a messy suicide just because I wanted a breast reduction?

It had been a good bra. Would a biological washing powder remove the stains? I freshened my make-up while waiting for the emergency sirens to wail to a stop outside our block.'

Og

 

[Dar~]

Looking in the mirror I admired my 36 DDs. Sure, the doctors said that was why my back got broken and why I am now paralized. He probably was just a quack who wanted me anyway.
Damn, I look good. My face was unlined at forty, and I still looked like my twenty year old sister. People were constantly asking if we were twins. My long blonde hair curled up at the ends perfectly. I wanted to get off, b/c I was so hot, but I couldn't move my arms. I wonder if that new nurse would . . .

 

[Alex756]

OK having read the aforementioned story, carefully too...

I did NOT notice the mirror scene, thus it is good.

I didn't even glance at this thread first. The character WOULD have looked at his reflection and it just worked.

-Alex

Oh and I realized I did a mirror scene... after being soo proud I hadn't, but I think it was believable.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Show don't tell.
Never give measurements.
No mirror scenes.
No cliches.
No stereotypes.
Ad infinitum.

Pardon me, but horse shit.

When you write, you can take a cliche and make it your own. You can use trite hackneyed ideas, but breathe life into them. Nothing is new. It's all been done before. It's in the way you do it that the measure of worth is determined.

If most of us could attain the level of excellence you achieve in your failures we would be quite pleased with ourselves.

Write what you feel, what the story tells you is needed and if it needs the scene, for whatever reason, leave it. You will not go wrong following you rmuse, you can easily go far astray trying to follow the "rules"

There are quite a few 'mirror scenes' in Jane Austen and she's still selling (and getting good reviews).

It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it.

Mirrors aren't verboten - measurements always are!

 

[BlackShanglan]

There are quite a few 'mirror scenes' in Jane Austen and she's still selling (and getting good reviews).

I now feel the inexorable pull of the Mighty Janeness. She's likely to steal a good chunk of my writing time. But that's immense encouragement.

And Og, is it not the peculiar quality of 36DD's in erotic fiction that they never, ever sag? Bound, bounce, and perk, yes, but the three-letter word seems taboo. I agree whole-heartedly, by the way, on your wedding scene; that sounds like the ideal place to make the mirror scene work for you.

Special thanks, Alex, for the comments. It's some relief to me. I'm coming around to accepting it, and I do actually think it in character. It was just a nasty shock to see the Mystical Mirror of Hackdom rising before me like the ghost of Hamlet's father. Narrow escape.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

Mirrors aren't verboten - measurements always are!

Unless the erotica is written from the POV of Rain Man.

"8.5741 inches ... 8.5741 inches ... "

Shanglan

 

[yui]

Unless the erotica is written from the POV of Rain Man.

"8.5741 inches ... 8.5741 inches ... "

Shanglan

Bwahahahahaha!

"Anal sex, 7:30 ... Anal sex, 7:30 ... "

 

[minsue]

Unless the erotica is written from the POV of Rain Man.

"8.5741 inches ... 8.5741 inches ... "

Shanglan

Bwahahahahaha!

"Anal sex, 7:30 ... Anal sex, 7:30 ... "

Gawd, I've missed you two.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Gawd, I've missed you two.

Well, damnit, aim better when throwing yourself at us.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Bwahahahahaha!

"Anal sex, 7:30 ... Anal sex, 7:30 ... "

anal sex, 7.5 inches....

 

[minsue]

Well, damnit, aim better when throwing yourself at us.

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/liebe/umknuddel.gif

Better?

 

[rgraham666]

Not using measurements is a condition I follow.

Forces the reader to use their imagination.

 

[BlackShanglan]

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/liebe/umknuddel.gif

Better?

Superb.


Rob, I agree. More, too, I think non-statistical descriptions more evocative. As by nature I think good art about feeling and emotion rather than dimensions or statistics, so I think a good erotic description about evoking feeling and sensation rather than listing measurements.

 

[rgraham666]

Superb.


Rob, I agree. More, too, I think non-statistical descriptions more evocative. As by nature I think good art about feeling and emotion rather than dimensions or statistics, so I think a good erotic description about evoking feeling and sensation rather than listing measurements.

That's what my feedback keeps telling me.

That, and my stories are long.

 

[gauchecritic]

Looking for a reflective surface on purpose, for a specific reason doesn't come under the heading of 'mirror scene'. Or at least I hope it doesn't. Part two of one of my contest entries begins with a mirror scene and goes quite a way into the story with it.

Walking through the kitchen door I stopped in front of the mirror to examine my bukake face. Well maybe not bukake exactly, only one lot of spunk, but I did enjoy the sight; hair highlighted with glistening strands, and rivulets of spunk from my eyes, cheekbone and chin. I adore how much a young man has to give. I tasted it again.

Fortunately I neglected to mention her body that wouldn't have shamed a woman twenty years younger, probably because she didn't have one. She had a real middle aged body.

Mirror scenes are useful for all sorts of things.

 

[Alex756]

I bet measurements could be skillfully worked in. I know I have a story that mentions a dress size, and I know I could work in a bra size without it seeming... you know

I think its more the fomula of how some of these things are used than actually using them. Even incorrect grammar is useful on occasion

-Alex

 

[BlackShanglan]

I bet measurements could be skillfully worked in. I know I have a story that mentions a dress size, and I know I could work in a bra size without it seeming... you know

I think its more the fomula of how some of these things are used than actually using them. Even incorrect grammar is useful on occasion

-Alex

Amen. It's the knowing when and knowing how that's the chief thing.

 

[yui]

Gawd, I've missed you two.

Well, damnit, aim better when throwing yourself at us.

Is this were I get to say, "Gawd, I've missed the two of you?"

 

[minsue]

Is this were I get to say, "Gawd, I've missed the two of you?"

Only if you throw yourself at us, too.

 

[oggbashan]

I bet measurements could be skillfully worked in. I know I have a story that mentions a dress size, and I know I could work in a bra size without it seeming... you know

I think its more the fomula of how some of these things are used than actually using them. Even incorrect grammar is useful on occasion

-Alex

The problem with using a dress size is that they have to be converted this side of the Atlantic.

My view, and it can only be a personal view in the abstract with apologies to any UK ladies I offend:

If a UK woman is a size 14 she can be slim and willowy. A medium height size 16 could be too and is the most sold size. A size 18 and upwards are beginning to be desireable Rubenesque women but still look slim if tall enough. Over size 26? Is it a dress or a tent?

Most bridal dresses are size 12 or 14. A size 10 or 12 is small. An 8 is doll-like.

Compare those descriptions with US sizes and you see the difficulty.

Og

 

[impressive]

The problem with using a dress size is that they have to be converted this side of the Atlantic.

And yet bra sizes span the globe (globes *snicker*) ??? I find that odd.

 

[Alex756]

Actually there are differences in bra sizes from locality to locality according to my extensive shopping. One site I found good running bras on had conversions for several countries. According to them, even though there is a superficial resemblemce between UK and US for bra sizes, cup size in the UK is slightly smaller than in the US.

This is the sentence I used a dress size in,

I shake my head; even with looking like hell, I still weigh more than he wants. I'm still a size ten.

I think it conveys the idea even if you don't know US dress sizes.

Alot of things a person writes would need to be converted for FULL understanding, but if someone mentions zipping across Europe at 90kph I don't whip out a calculator, or if someone is pulling someone across a beach and bitches they weight X number of stone. Stone is one that always throws me for a loop.

gallons, cans, alot of things are measured diferantly but we still use them

Edited to add-

Any I totally spaced money. If I didn't have a bad habit of buying english china, I'd have no idea of pounds and I still don't get quid and such

-Alex

 

[Dar~]

The problem with using a dress size is that they have to be converted this side of the Atlantic.

My view, and it can only be a personal view in the abstract with apologies to any UK ladies I offend:

If a UK woman is a size 14 she can be slim and willowy. A medium height size 16 could be too and is the most sold size. A size 18 and upwards are beginning to be desireable Rubenesque women but still look slim if tall enough. Over size 26? Is it a dress or a tent?

Most bridal dresses are size 12 or 14. A size 10 or 12 is small. An 8 is doll-like.

Compare those descriptions with US sizes and you see the difficulty.

Og

I am moving to the UK.

 

[BlackShanglan]

This is the sentence I used a dress size in,

I shake my head; even with looking like hell, I still weigh more than he wants. I'm still a size ten.

I think it conveys the idea even if you don't know US dress sizes.

I think it does, and what I really like about it is what it conveys about the mind of the thinker. She's not even looking at her body; she's looking at her dress tag. She's so sold on her need to be smaller and her need to fit a numerical ideal that she's not perceiving herself as she exists, and that adds (for me) a certain poignancy to her comments. "If only I was a size eight, he'd be happy."

I find it rather touching, although possibly I might be reading more into it than is there. It reminds me of the lines in Bridget Jones' Diary (the book) when she's totting up calories for the day and someone says, "But don't you need something like 800 a day just to live?" She has a little ah-ha moment where she realizes that her goal has actually been zero. "If I was really good, I wouldn't eat, and these numbers would be perfect."

Speaking of which, there's a good example of someone using numbers to work for her. Seeing Bridget's constant stats on her food doesn't give us much of an image of the food, but we certainly get to know Bridget.

Shanglan

 

[shereads]

Standing before the mirror, I couldn't help noticing the way my 36DDs strained against my bra...But wait. I hadn't been wearing a bra.

Those couldn't possibly be my 36DDs.

Stunned, I realized I wasn't standing before a mirror after all. I had come face-to-face with the identical twin who ran away from home all those years ago, when we were naive little 34Cs without a care in the world.

"So, Margaret. I see you're still going braless," she said.

"And what about you, Tess? When did you start riding the subway wearing a bra with nothing over it?"