Crush on your characters?

[ProvisionalJohn]

So I'm new to fiction having done mostly boring software development writing for decades, functional specs, how to manuals, requirements documents, etc. But I decided to pen some fantasies. I was writing in the first person, so I think the emotions feel more intense. And since it was my fantasy, I created a female lead I'd have dreamed about when I was the age of the first person male lead. So it's not weird to crush on her, right?

What I didn't expect were all those butterflies in my stomach when I simply thought about the next scene and the excitement I got waiting to fire up my word processor. I was feeling the same way I felt in 12th grade crushing on that girl. At least now I didn't lose my appetite. But I can't stop thinking about her, my character, not the girl in 12th grade.

This has been triggering feelings that are just as confusing now then when I hit puberty. Imagination and the written word are powerful things.

So my question, I'm not alone in this phenonium, am I?

 

[Britva415]

Apparently not

Maybe it's the "auto" version because it's your own character.

 

[SimonDoom]

Yes, I think this can be a motivating factor. My story "Personal Chef" is a story about a mature man, who in many ways is a projection of myself, falling for a woman that I could imagine having a crush on. Turns out it's my highest-rated story.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I made the mistake, many years ago, of writing the perfect character: beautiful, funny, intelligent and so on. It took a long time before I worked out that it was better if she wasn't perfect, but more real. My stories (not here) got her gradually involved with another person. The original character was too much of a projection of me. But the other surprised me.

One day I wrote these words:

'True,' said [character 1], finishing her beer and gazing longingly at the other two bottles. She stood up and approached them, then seized the bottle opener so that she could approach them menacingly.
'Take that, bottle of beer!' said [character 2].

And at those words 'Take that, bottle of beer!' I realized I was literally and truly in love with character 2. Not a crush. I have been in love ever since.

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

Yeah, I woke up the other morning and it took me a while to remember that one of the characters I'd invented wasn't actually real. Strange feeling. Felt like someone meaningful had left the country and I was never going to see them again.

 

[StillStunned]

No. I've seen too many real-world authors do it and inflict their crushes on their readers. It's made me very aware that all my characters are just figments of my imagination, and pretending they're real is just indulgence that diminishes the story and the reader's enjoyment.

 

[Annabelle1990]

I write about my life so I don't just crush on my characters. I am totally in love with two of them!

 

[Rob_Royale]

So my question, I'm not alone in this phenonium, am I?

Certainly not. Those lifelong fantasies are powerful things and that will come out in your writing. So much of my early work is based on those women I lusted for when I was young.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

No. I've seen too many real-world authors do it and inflict their crushes on their readers. It's made me very aware that all my characters are just figments of my imagination, and pretending they're real is just indulgence that diminishes the story and the reader's enjoyment.

I like, even love, possibly, many of my characters. I'm not really a 'crush' person, but I'd certainly consider interesting activities with a bunch of them, beyond just hanging out.

But I don't want to be one of those authors who has blatantly fallen in love with a character, who thereafter can do no wrong, and we get told about every little sniff and step they make, whether or not it's at all interesting to anyone else. Rather like parents of new babies, though given the novelty and sleep-deprivation I try to forgive them, or at least remind myself they'll outgrown it. Often happens to writers of long series - Kay Scarpetta in Pat Cornwell's books, Joey Bettany in the Chalet School series...

So I try to only inflict long conversations between characters onto my readers if they progress a story, or are actually interesting enough to be a story themselves. There's a huge amount that stays on the cutting room floor in the back of my brain, because it's totally unrealistic for the characters, or just long and indulgent. Some gets to the cutting room at the end of every text file...

 

[sirhugs]

I can't add much to what others said, I share their feelings about some of my characters (and in some cases, their real life inspirations).

What I will add is that to the extent that the "crush" is because you empathize with your characters, I think that is a good thing- it adds richness and depth to your writing.

 

[StillStunned]

But I don't want to be one of those authors who has blatantly fallen in love with a character, who thereafter can do no wrong, and we get told about every little sniff and step they make, whether or not it's at all interesting to anyone else. Rather like parents of new babies, though given the novelty and sleep-deprivation I try to forgive them, or at least remind myself they'll outgrown it. Often happens to writers of long series - Kay Scarpetta in Pat Cornwell's books, Joey Bettany in the Chalet School series...

Even worse is when the author gives the crush-character a love interest who's essentially a self-insert, and they carry on like a pair of moonstruck teenagers.

 

[liliput1]

Even worse is when the author gives the crush-character a love interest who's essentially a self-insert, and they carry on like a pair of moonstruck teenagers.

SOME OF US ARE WORKING THROUGH THINGS OKAY.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Even worse is when the author gives the crush-character a love interest who's essentially a self-insert, and they carry on like a pair of moonstruck teenagers.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

[Soixenta]

When writing "Mage & Moonshadow", I wondered sometimes whether Marcus was too much. I did not write him as a crush, though I could see how readers could see him that way: masculine, he has cats, and he is tolerant and protective of the geeky heroine.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

No. I've seen too many real-world authors do it and inflict their crushes on their readers. It's made me very aware that all my characters are just figments of my imagination, and pretending they're real is just indulgence that diminishes the story and the reader's enjoyment.

You either Kill Your Darling a hero, or see them yourself become the Mary Sue.

While I'm not this cold to my approach, I do see that whenever a crush-like feeling develops it's something that's destined to die soon. To me this is just part of the process, and I don't think it's a bad thing, especially when it comes to themes of romance. The danger is not the feelings, really, but how you use those feelings. Do you use them for the benefit of the story, or do you use them for masturbating?

 

[TheLobster]

Do you use them for the benefit of the story, or do you use them for masturbating?

Given what we're all writing here, the obvious answer is yes.

 

[sirhugs]

Given what we're all writing here, the obvious answer is yes.

You just made me wish that I could still masturbate

 

[Stanfield2025]

For me it's weird, because I'd never want to, in real life, be with the female character I'm currently working with. She should be in prison, honestly. But I do have quite a bit of affection for her.

I think about her more than any woman I've ever met, that's for sure.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Given what we're all writing here, the obvious answer is yes.

Let other people claim the points!

 

[Rambling_Chantrix]

So my question, I'm not alone in this phenonium, am I?

The weird thing about having a crush on your characters is that if you put enough of yourself into your writing you get tricked into loving yourself.

Super awkward, if you're otherwise hellbent on self-loathing

 

[Stanfield2025]

The weird thing about having a crush on your characters is that if you put enough of yourself into your writing you get tricked into loving yourself.

Super awkward, if you're otherwise hellbent on self-loathing

Depends on whether you can handle your own flaws, doesn't it?

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I would have a hard time crushing on any of my major characters ... because the sympathetic ones all represent at least part of me, my personality and experiences. So do some of the villains.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

The weird thing about having a crush on your characters is that if you put enough of yourself into your writing you get tricked into loving yourself.

Super awkward, if you're otherwise hellbent on self-loathing

I mean, to be fair, the person you'll spend the most time with throughout your entire life is yourself. Sounds narcissistic, but it's actually a good idea to always rizz yourself up good because no one else is going to do it for you.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Crush on your characters?​

While I love many (all?) of my fabricated characters dearly, and greatly enjoy them engaging in sexual gymnastics, I don’t think I have a crush on any that aren’t based on a real person*.

I don’t share your breathlessness at next writing a particular MMC or FMC. I get breathless quite frequently writing actual sex scenes, but that’s different, mostly as I’m recalling at least vaguely adjacent acts in order to write. It’s the memory turning me on more than me crushing on a protagonist.

Saying that, I did write af story about me hooking up with two of my protagonists. Just not the two I thought they were at first.

* I have an IRL crush on at least two of my quasi-real characters.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Not really. I'm also not really a crush-type person, but I also have a brain that very much abstracts things, so they don't feel all that real, so what's there to crush on? More than anything, I think I just want to be my characters. The anthro ones, anyway.