Should gay couples raise kids?

[CaliPhotographe]

 

[WriterDom]

I would probably say no until I dated a lesbian. She would be a wonderful mother.

 

[none2_none2]

It would be nice if only GOOD parents were allowed to raise children, but that's not the social contract here.

Anymore, I'm not sure what a "good" parent would be. I've known stories where one thinks their parent was wonderful, and another one from the same family feel they were abused. I think we forget that parents aren't cut out of the "Marry Poppins" mode. They are all human beings, and as such are prone to imperfections.

I had really wished I had sired kids, but being gay & infertile, the cards were stacked against me. I probably went the other extreme. I tend to avoid kids because I figured I wasn't meant to be around them. That being said, I do have a lot of animals. I know with them sometimes I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes the mistake is out of misinterpretations. For instance, I had a large adult nanny that appeared to be attacking a young kid. My partner told me I better run out there or the kid might die. I had to take a rod after the nanny and give her a good wooping to know never to do that again. It didn't dawn on me until afterwards when my partner pointed it out to me, that the kid was stuck in the fence and was crying big time. The nanny not having hands did the next best thing -- try to flip the kid to get her unstuck. However, on a split instance, it looked like a bull fight with the kid about to be killed. I completely misinterpreted what transpired, and thus over-reacted.

Granted that is a weird example, but my point is I cannot imagine the hundreds of "parental" actions that are made every day from birth to adulthood and beyond. Can we expect anybody to always make the right call? Can we always know it was the right decision for the personality of the particular child? That is no excuse to be a mean/abusive parent. I'm just saying that I'm not as quick to judge people on parenting as I used to be.

 

[glamorilla]

personally i think we should enforce stricter breeding laws thus rendering the point moot.

 

[HarlotMinx]

Personally, I'd love to see people have to get a permit to create children (either through direct sex or through surrogate). I would also like to see it be a crime to conceive a child if you have a known health issue that has the potential to be lethal... of course I'm pretty sure that it would trample on people's liberties and whatnot, not to mention do nothing to stop people from carrying babies illegally, and then their is the possible complexities of what defines lethal and what's just a remote chance.

Even so, I knew a couple who knew they had a genetic defect that had a likely chance of causing severe autism in their children. The first child they had was born severely mentally handicapped, the second blind and mentally handicapped, the third died in the womb, and the fourth was born perfectly normal. While I respect their right to have children, I thought they were incredibly selfish to bring children into this world knowing full well their was a very likely chance what would happen. Now, I also feel guilty for judging anyone's right to conceive but the feelings were still present. Sorry, I know this post has nothing to do with the OPs post but I've seen a couple people talk about regulating who can breed.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Sure, LET's have breeding laws! Not a problem! I'm sure that those find upstanding fundie supported asshats in the state and federal legislatures wouldn't dream of selecting LGBTQ people as their first targets! Nah! They are our "friends"!

personally i think we should enforce stricter breeding laws thus rendering the point moot.

Personally, I'd love to see people have to get a permit to create children (either through direct sex or through surrogate). I would also like to see it be a crime to conceive a child if you have a known health issue that has the potential to be lethal... of course I'm pretty sure that it would trample on people's liberties and whatnot, not to mention do nothing to stop people from carrying babies illegally, and then their is the possible complexities of what defines lethal and what's just a remote chance.

Even so, I knew a couple who knew they had a genetic defect that had a likely chance of causing severe autism in their children. The first child they had was born severely mentally handicapped, the second blind and mentally handicapped, the third died in the womb, and the fourth was born perfectly normal. While I respect their right to have children, I thought they were incredibly selfish to bring children into this world knowing full well their was a very likely chance what would happen. Now, I also feel guilty for judging anyone's right to conceive but the feelings were still present. Sorry, I know this post has nothing to do with the OPs post but I've seen a couple people talk about regulating who can breed.

 

[HarlotMinx]

Sure, LET's have breeding laws! Not a problem! I'm sure that those find upstanding fundie supported asshats in the state and federal legislatures wouldn't dream of selecting LGBTQ people as their first targets! Nah! They are our "friends"!

Well, I was fairly clear I didn't believe that it was realistically institutable. It's kind of like... I wish communism worked in reality... or I wish the government would recognize poly marriage.

 

[glamorilla]

i'd be willing to take the hit.

 

[Shywong]

Better they be raised by gay parents than abusive parents. And if the child is homosexual or has GID I'd bet gay/lesbian parents would be much more supportive than straight ones.

 

[HarlotMinx]

Better they be raised by gay parents than abusive parents. And if the child is homosexual or has GID I'd bet gay/lesbian parents would be much more supportive than straight ones.

Ehhhhhh, I wouldn't say that. Their are PLENTY of gays and lesbians who are prejudice against GID. Maybe not the same number you see in the het community but still a fair share.

 

[none2_none2]

Better they be raised by gay parents than abusive parents. And if the child is homosexual or has GID I'd bet gay/lesbian parents would be much more supportive than straight ones.

I didn't know what GID was when you first mentioned it, so I looked it up. There is this conservative older business commentator who is known for being stoic. Lately he has been doing this commercials where he is sitting on a park bench and when he talks about the product he is advertising, he says it makes him "feel absolutely giddy". Makes me wonder now what someone means when they say "giddy". Could it be a code for closeted transgendered feelings?

 

[none2_none2]

I didn't know what GID was when you first mentioned it, so I looked it up. There is this conservative older business commentator who is known for being stoic. Lately he has been doing this commercials where he is sitting on a park bench and when he talks about the product he is advertising, he says it makes him "feel absolutely giddy". Makes me wonder now what someone means when they say "giddy". Could it be a code for closeted transgendered feelings?

I saw the commercial again yesterday. It is Ben Stein and it is a credit score commercial:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1175436738830

He may be an unusual dresser, but I doubt that he has transgender tendencies.

 

[Shywong]

FreeScore.com

I know I can't be the only one who caught on to the sexual innuendo in there.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Article Regarding the Topic

Forgive if this has been Circulated

http://topnews.co.uk/22112-child-s-success-not-affected-gender-parent


Child’s Success Not Affected By Gender of Parent
Submitted by Rasik Sharma on Sat, 01/23/2010 - 19:03

Labeling the theory, that children of lesbians are disadvantaged through the absence of father figure, a "self-fulfilling prophecy", an article in the Journal of Marriage and Family seems to contradict the popularly held belief that fathers as parents are indispensable.

According to the authors, there was no substantial evidence of gender based parenting abilities and skills in their research with the obvious exception of "lactation".

In a study that encompassed households with single mother, single father children, alongside children with lesbian mothers, researchers could find no discernible proof to support the popular notion that a father is an indispensable parent.Children of lesbian parents had just as fair of chance of being successful and happy as children with heterosexual parents. On the contrary, some researchers even claimed that lesbian mothers make better parents, since the non - biological mother is more involved in the care of the child than a father is in a heterosexual couple.

The results were welcome news for Rachel Epstein, coordinator of the LGBTQ (Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual Trans Queer) Parenting Network at Sherbourne Health Centre, who said, "This finding about gender is interesting. It kind of lays to rest the anxieties that people have about kids growing up in lesbian families".

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

fuck no...

why? because then the kids will turn out to be gay aswel.

 

[Stella_Omega]

fuck no...

why? because then the kids will turn out to be gay aswel.

"I do not mean to say that conservatives are stupid people, i mean to say that stupid people often are conservative."

-John Stuart Mill

 

[Ike_The_Spike]

"I do not mean to say that conservatives are stupid people, i mean to say that stupid people often are conservative."

-John Stuart Mill

That's truly sad, because in many ways I am conservative. While in many ways I am not, as can be seen by reading many of my posts. Unfortunately, in this case the poster you are replying to is either stupid or amazingly ignorant.

 

[Kitkat103]

You really had to ask?

HELL YES!

Are you kidding me. Gay parents would take the responsibility of raising the child more seriously since they have to practically jump through hoops to get the opportunity to do so.

My parents were straight and I grew up with a paradoxical drug addict and manipulative stepmom. If i grew up in a gay household I have the feeling I would have had better role models.

 

[Italian_and_Bi]

They should be able to raise a child, same as any other couple. Whether they wish to adopt, artificial insemination, etc. A child needs love. As long as the parents are loving and make sure the child gets every opportunity possible, the fact that the parents are same sex really isn't important.

 

[John Doe]

HELL YES!

Are you kidding me. Gay parents would take the responsibility of raising the child more seriously since they have to practically jump through hoops to get the opportunity to do so.

My parents were straight and I grew up with a paradoxical drug addict and manipulative stepmom. If i grew up in a gay household I have the feeling I would have had better role models.

By that logic the same would be true of adoptive parents in general, not just those who are homosexual.

>>> <<<

This is really just a statistical point, so everyone feel free to ignore it in favor of more substantive discussion...

Ehhhhhh, I wouldn't say that. Their are PLENTY of gays and lesbians who are prejudice against GID. Maybe not the same number you see in the het community but still a fair share.

Depends what you mean by "the same number". Do you mean in a direct comparison or proportionally? In other words, say for example the same percentage of each population has the same characteristic. Though it's the same percentage the sheer number is naturally smaller because the homosexual population is smaller.