Skinny vs. Curvy

[subwannabe]

Stick thin is a guy's body. I like the curves.

 

[Etoile]

I am hard on myself, but not too much. I'm not interested in being the 110-lb stick I was in the late 90s, but I would like to lose 50-75 from where I am now. Really I'd just be happy if I could shop at normal stores, not fat-girl stores.

Like osg said, people telling me that I'm hot doesn't change my opinion of myself much. It's really 100% in my head. Only I can love my body, basically - whether other people do or not, doesn't do it for me. Having people enjoy my pictures helps - and they do tell me that they do - but it doesn't fix it.

For my own personal interests, weight is really irrelevant. I have seen some super-hot skinny chicks and some super-hot fat chicks. I've also seen super-gross skinny chicks and super-gross fat chicks. Like DiscusDave, bones don't do it for me, but those pictures of Gwyneth don't show a lot of bones, so I can handle about that level of skinny. (I don't go for her much though...more about her face than her body though.)

 

[lissa808]

.....

 

[Chiara_searches]

I think the points about this should not be a debate of skinny vs. curvy are valid points. And my original post wasn't likely as intellectually precise as it could be.

But I also like the fact that I'm consistently seeing that people's replies here show they are looking more at the package as a whole, a body, mind and spirit kind of thing. That answers the real question for me, even if I ineptly asked it.

And then I laugh at myself. I don't go around judging men as potential sex partners based upon their physic alone. Sure, I'm very attracted to certain men's bodies (I have a minor crush on Corey Taylor from Slipknot/Stone Sour for example; and I've disclosed at least one Lit av crush). But really, it is the whole package that interests me.

And then I feel chagrined for not giving people more credit for thinking along these same lines. I guess I was just taken aback at the article and thought "Hmm, that's the first time I've seen in mainstream media someone making this point."

So thank you to everyone who's posting their opinions here. It really does help, I think, to know how people think about this stuff.

 

[teknight]

So I'm gathering unscientific data from Lit. I read the following article today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-skinny-figure-Men-turned-skeletal-chic.html

For those of you not wanting to read the whole article, the gist of it is that men don't really want women who are as skinny as, say, Gwyneth Paltrow. It explains that men, in fact, want women with natural curves.

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?

I'll take the plunge and answer Query (B). I beat myself up, a bit. I disconnected from myself for a long time and basically stopped caring. I'm getting back into shape, running and doing some long walks (6 milers). At the same time, I actually like most of my curves. I accept that I'm not a "norm" and am concentrating on being healthy, not starving myself to fit into a norm. I also know that I enjoy sex more when I'm working out, so that's a great motivator as well.

I prefer toned and athletic, so, neither, really.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think the points about this should not be a debate of skinny vs. curvy are valid points. And my original post wasn't likely as intellectually precise as it could be.

But I also like the fact that I'm consistently seeing that people's replies here show they are looking more at the package as a whole, a body, mind and spirit kind of thing. That answers the real question for me, even if I ineptly asked it.

And then I laugh at myself. I don't go around judging men as potential sex partners based upon their physic alone. Sure, I'm very attracted to certain men's bodies (I have a minor crush on Corey Taylor from Slipknot/Stone Sour for example; and I've disclosed at least one Lit av crush). But really, it is the whole package that interests me.

And then I feel chagrined for not giving people more credit for thinking along these same lines. I guess I was just taken aback at the article and thought "Hmm, that's the first time I've seen in mainstream media someone making this point."

So thank you to everyone who's posting their opinions here. It really does help, I think, to know how people think about this stuff.

It definately is the whole package which counts, but for me, when a specific characteristic or quality is posted in terms of preference, I don't address the multitude of other characteristics which could be added. Maybe it is a hang over from research where you have to stick to the point and not add in things which are not included in the experiment...sort of muddies the water to do otherwise and then makes the original question obsolete and the outcome skewed.

Catalina

 

[Keroin]

But I also like the fact that I'm consistently seeing that people's replies here show they are looking more at the package as a whole, a body, mind and spirit kind of thing.

I think that who we choose as a mate is far more complex than who turns our heads as we walk down the street or meet with casually for the first time in a social setting.

However, I watched a documentary recently in which it was stated that, when it comes to the "initial attraction", *generally* men look for cues to fertility and women look for cues to resources. This actually seems fairly logical to me and speaks to our primitive brains. And I don't think it's shallow, I think there are survival instincts at work. And I believe this is part of the reason that older men have a much different sexual status in society than older women do.

 

[liv21]

So I'm gathering unscientific data from Lit. I read the following article today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-skinny-figure-Men-turned-skeletal-chic.html

For those of you not wanting to read the whole article, the gist of it is that men don't really want women who are as skinny as, say, Gwyneth Paltrow. It explains that men, in fact, want women with natural curves.

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?

To answer (A), I think most people given the choice between "naturally curvy" and "stick thin" will choose curvy. But stick thin has a pretty negative connotation. I love curves on girls, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate slender beauty either. The main point of attraction for me is actually softness, a bit fleshy, but in a well-proportioned way. I much prefer thick thighs and a round ass to long and lean limbs with a flat stomach. I also prefer a soft tummy to abs and muscles, and I even prefer a little flab to it rather than a toned look. Not sure if I'm weird in that or not.

Of course, I'm going at this from a purely aesthetic angle. Attraction is so much more about so many things other than shape and size. I won't deny that I do have physical ideals (varied ones in fact), but I can promise you that's not all that I base attractiveness on.

And as far as (B) goes, it really changes day-to-day. I look in the mirror and see myself as being attractive. I'm not fat, but I am a little overweight (tiny frame so it's tough). I dress myself well and carry myself confidently. People perceive me as being a good weight and tell me I look good. Wearing flattering clothes goes a long way. But any confidence I have usually turns to mush when I take my clothes off. I am a perfectionist in everything, including my body. I think at 18, it's almost a duty to myself (and others) to be attractive, and I get upset about things I can't change. I don't hate on myself all the time, but my perceptions change fairly often. Being attracted to girls has actually taken a toll on my self-image as well.

 

[YourCaptor]

I think that who we choose as a mate is far more complex than who turns our heads as we walk down the street or meet with casually for the first time in a social setting.

However, I watched a documentary recently in which it was stated that, when it comes to the "initial attraction", *generally* men look for cues to fertility and women look for cues to resources. This actually seems fairly logical to me and speaks to our primitive brains. And I don't think it's shallow, I think there are survival instincts at work. And I believe this is part of the reason that older men have a much different sexual status in society than older women do.

Gold digger!!

 

[satindesire]

Gold digger!!

She's skinny, she's allowed to be.

*hopes Ker knows she's just joshing her! :-D*

***********

I've been slim most of my adult life. Until I turned nineteen, I was scrawny, and not in the healthy way. I was scrawny because my parents were poor and we could barely afford to eat. It took three years of me working my own job and buying my own food to finally gain enough to have normal periods and look healthy. So I can understand that there is a level of skinny that is not attractive or healthy.

At 25 I had my first baby. Gained a LOT of baby weight. They said this was pretty normal for girls who were slender. I'm 5'10 so the weight didn't look super bad on me, but I gained it really fast and I had NEVER been that big before. I look at my pictures when I was pregnant and cringe.

Lost most of it, then got almost immediately pregnant again.

It's harder to lose the weight this time around due to some medical issues that my second pregnancy caused, since walking/running/sitting/lying down is extremely painful and many of my favorite exercises require any combination of those things. I am eating well and avoiding empty calories, I am still active as much as I can be.

I will eventually lose the baby weight, but as I get older it'll get harder. I'll have to work at it more than I already do. I'm still not where I want to be but as Mister says, "You've just had two kids in a row. I'm not going to hold baby weight against you. Besides, I like chunky girls."

It's my own attitude towards my weight that works against me the most. I still look awesome, I'm just not USED to being this size, and that's what irks.

 

[ImOnIt]

Separate to weight, I want someone fit (and willing) to climb a fence. If someone won't do that when they really need to, I lose a bit of respect. It doesn't matter if theyre a speech therapist or teacher or something and it isn't relevant to their daily life - I respect people who dive or abseil or do pilates or anything - and that respect isn't really replaceable*.

 

[mcevin]

As far as what I look for, the size is not necessarily the first issue. I prefer curvy but have been known to date a bean-pole. I'd lot rather cuddle with a confident size 18 versus bang a skinny chick any day.

Hey, Carver, did you see the pic of the new Hondajet? Right there on the tail, it's like, "N420HJ." 420 anyone?

"Tower, this is N420 ready for takeoff."

"420 cleared for takeoff, go for it, dude!"

So up in the cockpit, "Let's light this baby up! Try for EPR 2.0, firewall it, let's go for it, wooo hooo!"

Love,

Jamie

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

*SNIP*

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?
*snip*

Responses for both letters as I am a woman, drawn to women.

A~I prefer thickness, a bit of heft. If I am judging for purely physical attraction I always notice~ thighs, bums, and whether or not they have some hips. That doesn't mean anything though, as I have been drawn to women who are tall and slender as well as women who are larger than what is considered *healthy*. If a woman has a seductive laugh and is able to converse with a bit of intelligence, I usually forget what she looks like within 5 minutes, anyway. It no longer matters.

B~I have worked hard for my shape. I am short and thick with muscular legs, a high butt and good breasts. I love the way I look...and that hardly ever changes. There are things I wish I could get rid of~like the fact that I am covered in scars but my shape, the way I am put together~nude or dressed? Nah, I love me. And from what I have heard from past partners, that makes me hot.

*shrugs*

 

[lissa808]

.....

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

When I think about beauty...It's like walking down the line in a salad bar buffet. As you walk by, consider the bowl of crinkle cut beets...not everyone likes beets... but for the people that do they are exquisite. There is nothing inherently wrong or right about the beets, they just are. I wish people could think of each other that way.

For me personally, when considering a mate...I just love that there are so many different kind of minds and bodies to choose from! Each combination a new and unique flavor to be savored by adoring hungry lips. Admittedly though, I get bored and distracted easily, so variety is also kinda critical to my survival.

Looking around seeing all you people as beautiful as you are right now, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[the captians wench]

I love my figure. I have perfect hour glass porportions.

I hate pictures of myself. I have an idealized view of what I look like in my head, and pictures don't match that. *giggles* Now I'm not saying I'm disillutioned into thinking I'm a size 10, shopping tells me that, but I just don't see the love handles and other little fat rolls, until I have to see a picture where the perfect lines are kind of lumpy. *giggles*

I haven't had a problem finding men who love my body as much as they love the rest of me. A number of them found interest in me because of my body, and later discovered the adorable and loveable person I am.

 

[jenniferbaby]

If I had to choose which end of the spectrum I am on, I'd say I'm on the curvy end--average height with large, pleasant features that come together in a curvaceous whole. I don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about what I look like or how much I like it. I spend a lot of time being in my body, which means feeling and doing and experiencing. Men openly stare at me from time to time and I've gotten positive responses to my photos, and this always surprises me because I don't think too much about any outside response to what I look like. There's definitely room for improvement, but I don't believe I'll be starting an exercise regimen any time soon.

I still laugh with the guy that absolutely loved my belly. Thought it was womanly. And smile at the guy who loved how my ass looked in pants. And the one who enjoyed my cleavage. Even the one who liked my feet. But mostly I liked that they loved me...all of me.

Very insightful. I'm drawn to people and situations that take the whole of me instead of attractive pieces.

I wonder why we never have these sorts of discussions about men's bodies. It seems much harder to think of men in binary terms such as skinny or curvy. I guess it's because men don't really have curves? They certainly have qualities that can make them sexy or not. I'm attracted to all kinds of dudes of all shapes, and usually it's hard for me to pinpoint exactly the thing that turns me on about them. It's more about how they wear their body and the confidence they carry it with than any specific trait or traits.

 

[KoPilot]

It's more about how they wear their body and the confidence they carry it with than any specific trait or traits.

This, mostly. And I'm sure it goes both ways more than people think.

Now to practice "wearing" myself better...

 

[NestleSnipes]

A: I prefer a woman with a, eh, womanly figure, i.e. I'm not into women who look like teenage boys with vaginas. Particularly, I like women with a nice set of hips and an ass to match and not necessarily the hourglass type. If what she has below the waist is nice enough, all other attractive qualities are a bonus but not necessary. That's my ideal, physically.

Overall, though, I think I'm more attracted to personality and intellect than anything else. If the woman is kind, charitable, funny, knows what she's talking about in general, is intellectually secure, and isn't in any way, shape, or form a conservative, that buys a lot of points.

A.

That.

 

[DVS]

Why do we have threads like this? Most people can't do anything about the type of body they have and it can be depressing when they find someone doesn't like the type they have.

With that being said, I prefer the whole person. But, when it comes to shape, I think I've said it before that large breasts don't thrill me, like they do most men. I don't know why. And I also prefer someone who is smaller than I am. I assume that is so she can't beat me up. Whatever the reason, because I'm about 185 lbs. I prefer my lover to weigh less than that. It's only for my safety, in case she gets mad. I can't run as fast as I used to.

Actually, when it comes down to it, I like slender or athletic bodies over anything else. Skinny isn't the right word, it's an extreme. But, of the two options in question, I'd find skinny closer to my preference than curvy.

There was a time when it was "in" for the fashion models to be skin and bones...literally and to me, they all looked like drug addicts. But, I know fashions are thought to fit slender people better, because of how they drape the body. But, I think the trend is changing in that respect. Healthy looks a lot better to me.

So, if I had my ultimate lover's body to think about, I'd say healthy. That means height and weight proportioned so things like heart rate, blood pressure, HDL and LDL and other related things are within proper levels. I'd like a lover to be able to keep up with me physically, and to challenge me, mentally. And if there comes a time when she challenges me physically, I'll just make sure she's all tied up. I like to win.

 

[Chiara_searches]

Why do we have threads like this? Most people can't do anything about the type of body they have and it can be depressing when they find someone doesn't like the type they have.

We have threads like this because I was surprised that mainstream media would finally recognize that super skinny isn't attractive to everyone. I wanted to share that surprise with Lit. I asked the questions because I think an unknown part of me wanted to hear more people say "hey, I ain't as shallow as the media would have you believe." People are saying that.

It also helps me, at least just me, to know how people come to accept their body types. Yes, there are parts of us we can't change. I can't change my height, for example. But I can admit that when I was lost in an abyss and out of touch with myself I stopped caring. Today I care and I am changing other things. Will I ever have the cute figure I had at 20? No. But that's not my aim right now. My aim is to be healthier on the inside and out. Knowing that I don't struggle alone helps with the inside part. Walking, running, minor pilates/yoga helps on the outside part and that's nothing I can get help with from Lit.

With that being said, I prefer the whole person. But, when it comes to shape, I think I've said it before that large breasts don't thrill me, like they do most men. I don't know why. And I also prefer someone who is smaller than I am. I assume that is so she can't beat me up. Whatever the reason, because I'm about 185 lbs. I prefer my lover to weigh less than that. It's only for my safety, in case she gets mad. I can't run as fast as I used to.

Actually, when it comes down to it, I like slender or athletic bodies over anything else. Skinny isn't the right word, it's an extreme. But, of the two options in question, I'd find skinny closer to my preference than curvy.

There was a time when it was "in" for the fashion models to be skin and bones...literally and to me, they all looked like drug addicts. But, I know fashions are thought to fit slender people better, because of how they drape the body. But, I think the trend is changing in that respect. Healthy looks a lot better to me.

So, if I had my ultimate lover's body to think about, I'd say healthy. That means height and weight proportioned so things like heart rate, blood pressure, HDL and LDL and other related things are within proper levels. I'd like a lover to be able to keep up with me physically, and to challenge me, mentally. And if there comes a time when she challenges me physically, I'll just make sure she's all tied up. I like to win.

And despite your initial misgivings about why we have this thread, you still gave us insight. It still rings that as if the majority of the people replying here are interested in the package as a whole. A healthy, body, mind and spirit to re-purpose a phrase I've already used. So thank you for sharing. I am hopeful that most people realize that just because one person may not like their type, there are a multitude of others that do. I don't like chocolate ice cream, for example, but I'm sure a great many others do.

And yes, DVS, we know you like to win...you've already won one today, haven't you? http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=36806655&postcount=122

 

[Keroin]

I'm skinny and curvy.

I'm scurvy.






*laughs heartily at self*

 

[YourCaptor]

Separate to weight, I want someone fit (and willing) to climb a fence. If someone won't do that when they really need to, I lose a bit of respect. It doesn't matter if theyre a speech therapist or teacher or something and it isn't relevant to their daily life - I respect people who dive or abseil or do pilates or anything - and that respect isn't really replaceable*.

A fence is your test of attractiveness?

And knowing that the most important ingredient in climbing a fence is a mat, your test of attractiveness is... well, a mat.

Not even a doormat, just a mat.

That’s not sexy.

 

[DanWants]

I am attracted to many kinds of women, crossing all kinds of ages, races and body shapes. But if i had a type id say curvy, well i do love a nice big round ass

 

[ownedsubgal]

A fence is your test of attractiveness?

And knowing that the most important ingredient in climbing a fence is a mat, your test of attractiveness is... well, a mat.

Not even a doormat, just a mat.

That’s not sexy.

a fence test isn't so crazy actually. i have a somewhat similar attractiveness test with men: if a man is too weak/skinny to lift me over his shoulder and carry me out of a burning building (with stairs!) then it's impossible for me to find him physically appealing. of course, never having been inside of a burning building, i have to guess at their abilities...but i think i know the set of scrawny, shaky shoulders and arms when i see 'em.