So shoot me *shrug*

[shy slave]

Nax, I appreciated your comments.

I also understand how difficult it is to write something you feel strongly about and not make it sound personal.

I think I did that just the other day on a thread you started....

It does seem it is easy for doubts to creep in, more so online, than off.

maybe it is because we are only going on the written word, which is subjective reading depending on how we are feeling.

Your comment about trying to keep in touch does come back to the concept that people move on without a backward glance and the idea I heard about which says a 'net friendship' has an average of four months.

Four months does not seem long to me, but maybe Lit and one other forum I am on are so close knit in places it gives a false view of reality.


I had many reservations about staring this thread, I imagined people would not take well to my starting a conversation about how real and valid net friendships are.
But so far that has not been the case.

 

[intothewoods]

Hi ITW, I sometimes wonder if because of the potential transient nature of online friendships it is not possible to weigh them against face-to-face friendships (similar to comparing apples and oranges).

People hide elements of themselves both online and face-to-face, but they are often different aspects of themselves.
Therefore if someone you know online disappears is it possible to have the same level of concern for them as oppose to if you know them in a face-to-face setting.
The more I think of it, the more unclear I become.

Some people here are very close friends and I notice if they don't post, but others are simply people whose posts I like and if they stop I admit I don't always have the same thoughts as I would if I had conversed more with them.

I was just thinking this happens in real life too. Have you ever become very close friends with someone you worked with, and then not drift apart after one of you moves on?

 

[naxalite0906]

Nax, I appreciated your comments.

I also understand how difficult it is to write something you feel strongly about and not make it sound personal.

I think I did that just the other day on a thread you started....

It does seem it is easy for doubts to creep in, more so online, than off.

maybe it is because we are only going on the written word, which is subjective reading depending on how we are feeling.

Your comment about trying to keep in touch does come back to the concept that people move on without a backward glance and the idea I heard about which says a 'net friendship' has an average of four months.

Four months does not seem long to me, but maybe Lit and one other forum I am on are so close knit in places it gives a false view of reality.


I had many reservations about staring this thread, I imagined people would not take well to my starting a conversation about how real and valid net friendships are.
But so far that has not been the case.

Four months can be right for some things.. the ones that stopped with me were longer than that, which is what frustrated me so much I guess. It isn't so much the ending of it, its the vanishing without reason bit when you know they still chat to others.

I get the feeling shy that we are both as worried as eachother sometimes when we make posts. Neither of us want to offend anyone. Oh, and you didn't make it sound personal the other day either Your comments helped immensely.

 

[Little_Kitten]

I think that online relationships can sometimes be more valuable than offline. I know that I have quite a few online friends, whom I talk to regularly. And I hate when people say that online relationships will never be real. To me they are very real. I know that the person on the other side, could hide things or be dishonest. But seriously... Who would spend 3-4 years getting to know you online if they had bad intentions? Yes... I've had friend online from year 2003, when I started using the internet more often. Some online friends can even hurt you, if they suddenly decide to betray you with something, which did happen once to me. I've blocked him, but I still sometimes wonder how he is, or if he ever thinks about me, or ever regrets what he had done.

Um anyway... There is a difference between an offline and online relationship. Some might say that offline is more real and .. physical. But they both have advantages and disadvantages.

When you're with someone real time, you have to act fast, and you don't really get to think thoroughly about what to say. When you write to someone, there's no pressure, and you can express your thoughts and feeling alot better, in most cases. That's probably one of the reasons why some online friendships are so successful.

Oh and I really hate when people also say that you can't love someone online.... If it's real to me, it's real to me. But sometimes I feel judged when people tell me what I can do and cant do... or if they say that online friendships are only for asocial geeks or whatever. Not true. I just tend to make real good friends from the start, whether it's online of offline. I don't have 50 friends like most people would find acceptable, successful and popular. But I have a few friends, who have a very special place in my heart.