Sound Familiar?

jfinn

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jun 12, 2002
Posts
593
Saw this on a newsgroup and thought it worked for here too:

How many newsgroup posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

13 to respond that the OP should be using florescent lights to save energy

2 to blame the light bulbs failure on a vast right/left wing
conspiracy

1 to argue that if <pick a leader> had not <pick an event> light bulbs wouldn't burn out (e.g. Hitler/Lost WWII, JFK/been shot, GWB/been elected, etc) leading to a lengthy thread with the original subject line, nothing about light bulbs and a lot of ranting followed by a bunch of plonks

406 to post links to web sites selling automatic light bulb changers

20 to post the same lightbulb question within a week later

50 to flame those people for not checking the forum archives to see that their questions had already been answered

43 to point out that this question has been in the FAQ forever

25 to give the URL to Google Groups, perhaps with a "Lightbulbs"
search already entered

12 to simply repost the entire original text, and add one word at the end: "Google"

17 of them to reply ROTFLMAO.

23 of them to ask what does ROTFLMAO mean.

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


Jayne
 
jfinn said:
Saw this on a newsgroup and thought it worked for here too:

How many newsgroup posters does it take to change a light bulb?






1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


Jayne


diarizing as we speak....;)
 
jfinn said:
Saw this on a newsgroup and thought it worked for here too:

How many newsgroup posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

13 to respond that the OP should be using florescent lights to save energy

2 to blame the light bulbs failure on a vast right/left wing
conspiracy

1 to argue that if <pick a leader> had not <pick an event> light bulbs wouldn't burn out (e.g. Hitler/Lost WWII, JFK/been shot, GWB/been elected, etc) leading to a lengthy thread with the original subject line, nothing about light bulbs and a lot of ranting followed by a bunch of plonks

406 to post links to web sites selling automatic light bulb changers

20 to post the same lightbulb question within a week later

50 to flame those people for not checking the forum archives to see that their questions had already been answered

43 to point out that this question has been in the FAQ forever

25 to give the URL to Google Groups, perhaps with a "Lightbulbs"
search already entered

12 to simply repost the entire original text, and add one word at the end: "Google"

17 of them to reply ROTFLMAO.

23 of them to ask what does ROTFLMAO mean.

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


Jayne

Google.

The Earl
 
This is an author's forum. Please take your newsgroup posters and light bulb post to the general forum.

:D
 
I really hate when an interesting thread is hijacked and diverted to a topic completely off topic. I want to read about the topic from the first poster not topics accruing from other people who don't know what the hell the original topic is and post inane comments to their friends in a succession of ill-conceived jokes, puns and personal comments. I particularly dislike lists of supposed replies which don't include posters who don't even mention the original topic.

Gauche
 
Oh, darn

Perdon. Sorry. Scume. That's two today. Several pardons, please
 
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Things bulbular illuminescent

Dear Jayne,
May I add a couple of my own? Thank you.

One to note that he is a newcomer and has just submitted a story about light bulbs and wonders how long it takes to get it posted.

One to shout about people hijacking the thread merely because he does not see the natrual intellectual progression of light bulbs, more antiquated sources of illimination, candles, romantic dinners therewith, and a good postprandial whuppin' followed by some brisk sodomy.

One to request a mathematical formula for conversion of lumens to candlepower.

One to actually answer the above. Since it's a scientific subject, then they naturally move on to generation of energy, and the inevitable outcome of this is a discussion of antique firearms.

One who writes smart ass replies like this one.
MG
Ps. Thank you for the list, Jayne. This is the only forum I ever to go, but it certainly is right on the noase for this bunch. Me included, or coarse. Damn, been spending too much time with DG.
 
Last edited:
Good work, Jayne.

This is one of those "It hurts too much to laugh, but I'm too big to cry," topics.

(R)ot(F)lmao
 
Patients, please

A final note on light bulbs: While a resident, my dad had to do several stints in the ER. They had a gentleman present himself with a rather delicate problem. He had a full sized light bulb stuffed up his ... inserted into his ....... rammed up .... well, you know.
MG
Ps. I believe this thread was doing just fine before I volunteered the above. Sorry. I'd erase it, but I'm using an indelible font.
Pps. I heard the above when I was about nine. Rather unusual dinner table conversations around our place.
 
One ex-regular-poster to pop her head in and just say "Hi".




Hi.

p.s. Thanks, Jayne. That made me laugh.
p.p.s. "Light bulb" is not an anagram for anything..
 
1 poster who rarely comes around to pontificate on the merits or lack thereof of all the aforementined posters

3 take the rare one's side

10 to dispute any and everything
 
MathGirl said:
A final note . . . I'd erase it, but I'm using an indelible font . . .

Considering the content of your post, I'd say the font was also inedible. :(
 
Oh, Sarah, please stick around. If your posts come near to your AV, you should be worth seeing more of.

(preposition intended)
 
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