Strings for the Veteran (Closed)

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas almost burst an eardrum that morning. First Greta's jubilant cheer and then Carl's high pitched squeal of delight as he called the two households to announce that she was alright. A nurse stuck her head out and told him to get some breakfast as the tests would take a while.

Nicholas ran, no skipped, to the front door of the hospital and stood there basking in the cold december sun as his heart all but burst with joy. She was awake! She spoke to him! She was well enought to worry about trivial stuff like her hair! He almost did a cartwheel of joy, and he had a big goofy grin of relief which he willingly shared with every passer-by.

He got himself a cup of coffee and a large sub, realizing for the first time how hungry he was. He'd never had a better meal in his life. As he finished his repast, Alfredo got out of his and Carl's car. "Yes Carl, you HAVE to find a proper parking spot! This is NOT an emergency. Now shoo! Park it and meet me at her room." He slammed the door shut over Carl's protestations. Nicholas was tickled pink to see an obscenely large teddy bear in the backseat. He chuckled again. Those guys...

Alfredo saw him the moment he turned around. "Nicky! Why aren't you with her!?" Nicholas told him about the doctors and the tests and realized that they probably were finished any second. They went up together and Nicholas let Alfredo go in to see her first. He hung back and just smiled when Alfredo playfully teased "The Prodigy".

Then Carl arrived in a rush of cold air and large teddy bear. He all but ran into the room and chattered on about her hair and... oh GOD! Nicholas cringed as Carl babbled on about him not being her like THAT and he resolved to buy alfredo a drink for that well placed kick he delivered.

He couldn't help but blush, though. The guys had been looking after him, and he'd been borderline flowery in his description of her as they talked about Elinor. This had elicited more than a few glances between the two old lovers, and on more than one occasion excited squeals from Carl, quickly stopped by Alfredo.

As the two men left there was a pregnant silence. There was so much he wanted to say, to tell her. But she needed time to readjust before he... what? Told her he had fallen in love with her? But that was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

She spoke first: "I... They told me David made it. There'll be a trial, won't there?"

"Yes there will be. It turns out he's... assaulted quite many women, the computer lit up like a christmas tree when they checked his DNA, or so Baddeley told me. He, uh, he killed his own girlfriend the same day he attacked you in the concert hall. Thank God you fought back, I-"

The memory of her fighting for her life while he stood helpless watching came rushing back, and a lump in his throat made its presence known as his voice broke.

"I'll have to be there, won't I..."

"We'll both have to be there. I'm a witness and I've fought him twice. He tried getting up after you fell through the window. I crushed his ankle and Baddeley says he's crippled for life. So if ever you think of him and it scares you, just imagine him with a gimpy foot and stiff arm in prison as he gets a taste of his own medicine. Rapists and child molesters are at the bottom of the foodchain in prisons."

Then she caught him by surprise: "Will you ... you won't leave... Because I don't think I could wake up again if you ever did, Nikolai. You've done so much for me. Saving me, staying with me..."

"It's no more than what you and your family have done for me, Elin. I'm just sorry I couldn't help you when he attacked you that last time. But you're safe from him now."

She seemed a bit out of it and Nicholas was about to inquire if she was okay when Carl and Alfredo made a timely entrance with coffee and tea. Carl and Alfredo took center stage and bitched about last-minute replacements that couldn't hold a candle to Elinor at the recital, but that the rest of the orchestra covered for her worst mistakes. Nicholas just sat and basked in the bonhomie as Elinor was teased into asking about the recital, and the three of them laughed and joked about the orchestra and the conductor and music in general.

Suddenly he heard a couple of familiar and happy voices. Nicholas perked up and grinned, startling the others into silence. A deep barytone with a russian accent and a strong soprano with a distinct irish accent were heard approaching, and suddenly Greta and Alexey burst through the door. They plowed past the three other men in the room and all but threw themselves on Elinor's bed.

Greta was a picture of happy relief. "Elinor! You're awake! Oh my little baby niece you're awake and well and safe and they have that monster in the prison hospital now and the burden of evidence against him is overwhelming and Nicholas hasn't left your side unless we've pried him away and-"

"For God's sakes Greta, let the poor girl breathe," Alexey roared with the world's biggest smile on his face. He cupped Elinor's face in his big paws and gently kissed her cheeks before letting her go. "It's true though. Nikolai has been here as much as humanly possible, only leaving for work and changing clothes. And David is in a maximum security wing of the prison hospital. The evidence against him is overwhelming. He's not going anywhere."

Nicholas didn't dare look at her again while the others were there. At least, he didn't make any lingering eye contact. He was afraid he'd drown in her eyes. The intensity of his feelings for her was scary and he didn't want to share that with anyone just yet. She needed a chance to land on her feet and he... had unfinished business he needed to attend to as soon as Elin was safely back home. Erin. In all the turmoil he still hadn't visited Erin. His conscience gnawed at him.

The morning flew past and they ordered lunch to be delivered to her room. They ate in a pleasurable silence, commenting on the food and stealing glances at the recovering patient. Carl and Alfredo left after lunch but promised to come see her again in the evening. Nicholas noticed he was emitting a decidedly rank odour and excused himself, promising he'd return after a shower and a change of clothes. Her look as he left her with her aunt and uncle was hard to decipher, but he wanted to be as little away from her as possible.

He quickly showered and changed, stopping only briefly to say hi to Xavier and his neighbours whose names were almost identical. Julian and Julianne O'Donnel, if you could believe it. They all commented on his improved mood and he told them about Elinor waking up. They all smiled at that and told him to tell her 'hi'.

He returned to the hospital with his laptop, intent on tweaking and adding to his novel when she fell asleep. He entered her room and joined the conversation. They were reminiscing about her parents and Nicholas couldn't add much to the conversation except to admit he thought the picture of her mother was of her and how adorable she was as a child.

After that little embarassment he hastily added that Xavier and his neighbours wished her well, thereby revealing that he talked about her to others, embarassing him further. Greta jumped in and started talking about plans for christmas after giving Nicholas a quick knowing smile. She talked about spending christmas in their country home and Nicholas listened to their plans before he started daydreaming of his own christmas celebration.

He was brought out of his daydreams as Greta asked, no told, him: "You will join us of course, Nicholas. I won't take 'no' for an answer and neither" a quick smile "neither will my niece." Nicholas could hardly protest after that, and he meekly but very happily said yes. "It's settled then," Greta said. "Oh, there's simply so much to do, I don't know how I'll manage everything..." and she was off again, starting to plan christmas with her niece while Alexey good-naturedly rolled his eyes at Nicholas who barely managed to suppress a giggle.

Truth be told though, he was really looking forward to spending christmas with these people who were more like a family to him now than his real family. And he was very excited about spending christmas with Elin, of course.

After ordering and eating dinner, Alexey and Greta left, leaving Nicholas and Elinor alone again. Serving the biggest understatement of the day, Nicholas said quietly:

"As you probably can tell, everyone's pretty happy to see you awake again. We all are. I will stay here tonight and my team will escort you home with your aunt and uncle, so I don't have to leave you before we get you safely back home. Carl and Alfredo will be waiting for you back home and if you want us to, my team and I can stay and do a sweep of the surroundings. This is all with your uncle's blessing, of course."

After that they made pleasant small talk about past christmases and how much they were looking forward to this one. He stayed by her side, watching those impossible green eyes of hers until her eyelids started drooping. she woke up with a start a few times, panic in her eyes, but smiled as soon as she saw him sitting there. When he was convinced she was really asleep he pulled out his laptop and started working on his novel again. Laptop in his hands, he drifted off to sleep...

--------------

He woke up abruptly as Elinor brightly announced that he was about to oversleep. He couldn't help but notice that someone had taken his laptop and shut it down before placing it on a nearby table. Elin giggled at his sleepy visage as he got out of his chair and absentmindedly thanked her for waking him up.

His team arrived and they all introduced themselves to Elin. They cased the hospital and waited for her to be released. Greta had brought some new clothes for Elin the day before and they all got out as Marianne helped her get dressed. Nicholas then drove her in a wheelchair to the waiting car and they sped back to the apartment building. They'd already familiarized themselves with the surroundings and they worked as a well-oiled machine as they brought Elin out of the car and into the waiting elevator.

Nicholas rode up with her while the team secured the foyer and main entrance with Xavier's agreement. As the elevator stopped and the door opened to her apartment, they were met by Carl wearing an apron, fussing about not making enough food for all those wonderful people on Nicholas' team. Alfredo was in the background, rolling his eyes at Carl.

Nicholas turned towards Elin. "Looks like we're staying for lunch, if that's okay with you?"

 

[prettyserpentine]

They ate lunch quietly, the morning's exertions had been enough to make Elinor pretty tired. She was less than responsive, feeling decidedly out of it, and didn't eat very much. When everyone had eaten, Nicholas directed his team back around the building.

Elinor had a headache. "There's no need anymore, is there? I mean, the threat is gone. I don't need to be guarded. I won't have it." She was stubborn, and Carl knew from her tone she was getting tired. This was a big day, after all, and it was understandable. He and Alfredo washed up the dishes, and Elinor got up, walking slowly around the apartment, massaging her hands. She just couldn't get warm, and she kept moving further and further away from people. She went into her practice room, closing the door.

The kitchen was a zone of nervous quiet as Carl and Alfredo finished cleaning up, talking quietly to each other and Nicholas.

"I know it'll take her some getting used to. We can't expect her to just be okay, can we..." Carl said, sighing.

Alfredo looked up at him, his arms folded. "She wants to be alone. She hasn't had that since all this happened. Maybe we should let her." He looked at Nicholas. "I mean, you'll be just downstairs, right? It seems you're just about the only person she can tolerate right now, and even that's a stretch. Come on, Carl. Tell her we're off, and that we'll come back in the morning, hm?"

Carl nodded. The two boys were so much more serious than normal. Truth be told, they just didn't know how to deal with it. When Carl padded down the hallway, he could hear her talking on her cell to Greta.

"No... Don't call over. I just want to go to bed really. The guys are all here. You can have Uncle Alexey check. And no, your house is too far away. We can go to mine. ... No, they won't mind. They're housekeepers, it's their job. I'll call her tomorrow. Yes. Yes. I know. I know. Alright, put him on." She started talking in Russian and Carl tiptoed back, reiterating the conversation to Alfredo, who threw up his hands.

"What does it matter where we spend Christmas!" He hissed. When he had gone back up the hall, Alfredo turned excitedly to Nicholas. "Holy. Shit. If we are going to Elinor's parents old place, boy, you better prepare yourself. That place is the biggest country estate I've ever seen. It was a gift from her mother to her father.... Extravagant. Very romantic."

Carl knocked on the door, Elinor was a slim grey shadow against the large window. His heart ached for her, as she looked at herself, one hand touching the nape of her neck.

"Elin? Ali and I are heading home. We'll be back in the morning." He moved to her, but she moved away a little and it broke his heart. "Nicholas is going to hang a little. He's using your wifi or something..." Carl rolled his eyes. "If you need anything, just call. Maybe you should rest."

She nodded silently. "I'll try. Thank you for lunch. Thank Alfredo for me."

Carl smiled, and as he left he heard her on the cell again. "Mrs Wilson, hi. It's me, Elinor." A cold laugh. "I'm fine. Listen, we're going to have Christmas at the house. Nine."

Nine? Carl counted his fingers. Himself, Alfredo, Greta and Alexey, Nicholas and Elinor. That's only six. He wondered who else she was having, probably the housekeeper and her husband. He sighed, closing the door. She was so standoffish, it made him sad. He explained to Alfredo, who soothingly rubbed his arm and put his scarf around his neck.

"She'll be fine. She just needs a little time. Now come on, America's Next Top Model is on and I don't want to miss it." He winked at Nicholas. "All those hot chicas..."

Elinor hung up the phone, and heard the door shut. They were gone. She breathed a sigh of relief, forgetting that she wasn't entirely alone in the apartment. She sat down beside her cello, trying to flex her fingers around it. She picked up her bow, and started playing the first few bars of a canon. It went well, until her hand cramped all too soon and the instrument made a ghastly noise, like someone who had no idea how to play had just raked a branch across the strings. One of the thinner ones snapped, lashing up with a horrible springing noise.

She threw the bow across the room, knocking over a couple of photo frames. When she lifted them upright again, all she could see was her shorn head and she threw it against the wall, a noise somewhere between a scream and a sob burst from her. She slammed her fists down on the sideboard, crying out again as pain shot up them. She knelt down, looking at the broken frame, the shattered glass and her bandaged hands, and she sobbed in earnest.

She didn't even know the door had opened, sitting there crumpled, crying on the floor, surrounded by her broken bow, and the frame. She didn't know Nicholas was there until he touched her shoulder. She flinched away from him, and he drew his hand back. The blue of his eyes, the soft tone of the words he spoke to her. She gripped the front of his shirt and cried sore, bewailing her woes, crying about David, her hands... Her lovely, lovely hair. She cried until her cheeks were red and her eyes bloodshot. Her hands never let go from his shirt and his arms eventually encircled her.

Elinor fell into a troubled sleep there, sitting on the floor in his arms.

When she awoke with a jolt, some hours later, she was on her bed, covered in a blanket. It was evening, and Nicholas was sitting in a chair by the bed, his long legs stretched out, his laptop on his knees. His eyes rose looking at her with concern. She welled up again.

"You're missing work because of me..."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas was kicking himself. He had to be more aware of her moods. She had been attacked twice in a short timespan, she'd been in a coma for two weeks and she'd only woken up yesterday and immediately been surrounded by well-wishers. Of COURSE she was exhausted! And she still had to cope with all that had happened. Nicholas reminded himself what the road to hell was paved with and went to help Carl and Alfredo in the kitchen.

Carl and Alfredo kept talking about christmas and large estates and whatnot, and Nicholas found himself not really caring where he spent his christmas, as long as it was with Elin. And as long as it was off the streets. He'd be more than happy to arrange christmas in his apartment, for that matter. Sure, it'd be a bit more crowded, but as long as everyone got along that shouldn't be a problem. He pondered this for a few moments but rejected the idea. Greta had seemed so eager and happy when planning christmas. She'd been a nervous wreck when Elin had been in her coma although she'd tried her best to conceal it. She was a woman who needed to be in control, and preparing christmas she could plan with all the determination and tenacity of a general.

Nicholas absentmindedly waved goodbye to Carl and Alfredo. He'd just received a report from Robert about a paparazzo trying to weasel his way inside. Luckily, the doormen knew everyone that lived in the building. Nicholas sent off a message to the owner of the building, complimenting his doormen on their alertness.

Nicholas stayed away from Elin's rehearsal room. He was happy to work away on his laptop and leave her be. She needed time and space. If she needed him, she'd tell him. Nicholas rang Alexey and told about paparazzis stalking the building. Alexey cursed, turning the air blue. He ordered Nicholas to have one of his team in the foyer at all times and to be on standby as a live-in backup. Nicholas didn't really need the incentive, but Alexey told that his team would be clocking some hefty overtime pay for their troubles.

Nicholas called the team and explained the situation. Robert volunteered to take first watch, seeing as he was all set in the foyer anyway. Nicholas told his team to inform janitors and doormen in surrounding buildings to be on the lookout for weirdos and paparazzis trying to get in.

The conversation on comms petered out as Enrique, Joseph and Marianne went home after securing the immediate area. And then he heard music. He smiled as he recognised Pachelbel's canon in D major. He closed his eyes and just listened. It was one of his favourite pieces of classical music. It could always relax him after a long and arduous day. It- OW! Something had clearly gone wrong. A jarring note, then a distinct *twang* before a clatter made Nicholas jump. This was followed by a cry of sad frustration and a crashing sound.

He went to the room and saw her sitting on the floor, looking small, sad and helpless. She was sobbing and embracing herself, oblivious to her surroundings. Nicholas' heart ached when he saw her like that and he went to her, acting without thinking. She flinched when he touched him and he scolded himself. Today's Big Mistake number two. He withdrew his hand as her eyes met his. Tearfilled and bloodshot or not, she still had beautiful eyes.

"I'm so sorry Elin, I wasn't thinking. Please forgive me."

She grasped his shirt and pulled him down, giving her anger, frustration and sorrow free rein. Her bawling was like a primal scream of wound and injustice visited upon her. After a while, she was leaning in on him. A little while later he was embracing her as her sobs slowly subsided. He was slowly stroking her head and whispering to her. "Let it all out, Elin. Don't hold back. You are so strong and I am so proud of you. Don't let the bastard win."

Her sobbing stopped and her breath stopped hitching. Soon she was asleep in his arms. Nicholas spent the next half hour just sitting and looking at her, his heart beating only for her. Then he slowly got up, mindful of her not falling. She made protesting sounds as his warmth disappeared and he lifted her and walked to her bedroom, placing her under the blankets and kissed her forehead. He collected his laptop and sat down by her bed, going to work on his novel and grabbing hold of her hand as soon as she started to squirm and cry. Clearly, she had a ways to go.

The hours ticked away and Enrique reported in, relieving Robert. Alexey rang and asked for an update and Nicholas gave a short and pleasant version of events.

"She's succumbed to exhaustion and is sleeping now. Yep. Like a child. Nothing to worry about. I'm watching her. Say hi to Greta for me. I'll call if there are any developments. Right. Bye-bye."

Her aunt and uncle weren't entitled to know everything, he decided. In between writing on the novel he paused and looked at pictures and films of Erin.

It was close to 8 PM when she woke up again. She looked confused and he didn't blame her. Tears filled her eyes and she spoke with a weak voice, drunk with sleep:

"You're missing work because of me..."

He closed his laptop and smiled at her. "Actually no." He paused. He decided he didn't want to sugarcoat things for her.

"The thing is, we have vultures circling the building. We've already sent away three paparazzis that've tried to gain entrance. I have one of my team members in the foyer around the clock, standing by to assist the doormen if necessary. I'm really sorry about that development, but the press has no shame when celebrities... well, you know."

He cleared his throat and gently patted her hand. "Look, I'll leave you alone in here, but I'll be in the kitchen to rustle up some food. You must be starving. If you'd like to join me, that'd be swell. If not, that's okay too. I'll call when the food is on, okay?"

He remembered Alfredo hadn't used all of the chicken, and there was some créme frâiche and spices and vegetables and rice. His mind raced with the possibilities as he entered the kitchen and started preparing the meal.

What she was trying to play: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlprozGcs80

 

[prettyserpentine]

"Don't leave... me," Elin's voice shrank away as he disappeared beyond the door, leaving her fidgeting in bed. She lifted her head from the pillow and immediately felt the cool air against her now very visible ears. She scowled, pulling the blankets up over her head and sinking down into the warmth. At least in bed she was safe from the stupid photographers and reporters. She hated having to deal with them, as did her mother before here.

She was glad that Nicholas had stayed. Having him around made her feel safe. Even happy. She wanted to show him how much he meant to her, but she didn't know how. She didn't want to intimidate him, or offend him by throwing money or extravagant gifts at him. Uncle Alexey seemed to be much better at dealing with gratitude than she was.

A few minutes passed, and she could hear the faint movement of pots, chopping and the like. Then the aroma of something nice, something spicy. Tasty. Her mouth watered a little and she rose out of bed, pulling on a pair of thick bed socks that ruffled around her ankles and the navy blue leggings. She changed out of her jumper into a loose fitting shirt and wandered into the kitchen.

She watched Nicholas cook for a moment as he hummed a tune to himself. The tune she had tried to play. A smile crossed her lips and that's when he turned around and looked at her. She blushed, her smile spreading and her hand lifted to her mouth, to hide a chipped tooth that was no longer there. She bounced a little on her heels and rubbed her eye, blinking at all the spice in the air. Her stomach growled a little and she let out a little peal of laughter.

"It smells good. Can I try some?”

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas lost himself a little as he started preparing the meal. He remembered cooking for Erin when their parents were away. She had been a nuisance, sneaking in and stealing vegetables he'd chopped up. He got back at her by hiding thin slices of hot chili in the bell peppers. He laughed at the memory. It felt good to laugh when he thought about Erin. He absentmindedly started humming Pachelbel's canon to himself. He felt more at peace now than he had for years.

He turned around and met her emerald green eyes. She smiled at him, that brilliant smile she tried to hide as she out of habit thought her tooth still was chipped. It was too bad. She had a brilliant smile now. It seemed sleep had done her some good. She seemed perky and happy and a little bit restless. She was bouncing on her heels, a picture of nervous and happy energy.

"It smells good. Can I try some?”

He smiled at her, his eyes locking with hers.

"I'll make you a deal, Elin. If you promise not to cover up your mouth the next time you smile, I'll let you taste a tablespoon of this. Deal?"

He held a tablespoon with chicken, spring onion, mushrooms, bell peppers and gravy up, waggling it suggestively at her.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor clasped her hands together behind her back, rolling on her heels and she smiled brightly, showing all of her well maintained teeth. She suppressed a giggle as she opened her mouth, looking up at him through dark lashes as her mouth closed around the spoon.

"Mmmmm!" Her eyebrows shot up and she moved back, the spoon sliding cleanly from her lips. She nodded enthusiastically, putting both hands up to cover her mouth as she chewed. "Mushrooms, I love mushrooms. Mmmm that tastes really good."

She moved to the cupboard to lift out two plates, then glasses into which she poured spring water. She carried them to the dining table, setting herself and Nicholas opposite each other. She laid out the cutlery very precisely, and turned on the CD player. Keane's 'Somewhere Only We Know' came on just as Nicholas came in, a dish in each hand. He set them down and Elinor dug in, fork in hand.

"I feel like I haven't eaten in forever," she mumbled, putting her hand up to her mouth and blushing at her horrible manners. "I'm so sorry." She chewed, swallowing. "You're a pretty alright cook, you know."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Her enthusiasm was infectious. He got a little bit lost in her eyes when she looked up at him. She clearly enjoyed his cooking, which made him proud and happy.

"Mmmmm! Mushrooms, I love mushrooms. Mmmm that tastes really good."

Nicholas laughed, happy to see her so happy again. "I'm glad you like it. But the rest is for supper."

She had set the table and turned on some music when he came in with two plates filled with food. Unpolished rice with sliced and wok'ed chicken, mushrooms, bell peppers and spring onions. He'd used the créme frâiche as the main ingredient for the gravy with some chili and cilantro.

She dug in with a healthy apetite, then checked herself and blushed. As she complimented him on his cooking it was his turn to blush.

"I've always loved to cook. Even in the army the guys would turn to me to get some taste out of those goddamned MRE's. I've really missed doing this. I hope we- I can cook some more tog- um, cook some more."

Damn! Sitting down and just talking to her like a normal person was hard!

"That is, I- it's been a hobby since I learned to cook on my own."

He concentrated on his food to hide his blushing.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor took a long drink of water when she finished her meal, and sat back in her chair. She glanced at herself in the mirror, still feeling the sick churning when she saw her hair gone. She forced a smile and looked back at Nicholas, chasing a grain of rice around the plate with her fork, looking down at it.

"It feels strange, talking like this after everything that's happened." Her eyes met his again. "Like we're two normal people, when we really aren't."

She waited until he had finished, and then scooped up the empty dishes, wandering into the kitchen and putting them in the dishwasher. He was clearing the pots and pans, stacking them in the dishwasher when she had moved aside, leaning against the counter. The CD finished, and it was just them and the crackling of the fireplace. Elinor moved to the living afar, looking out across the city at the twinkling lights and falling snow.

"This is why I love Boston. Every winter since I came here, it snows. It reminds me of Christmas in the big house, when my parents were alive. We used to ride sleds, go for walks in the countryside. Ice skating, although my father hardly ever let me do that. Mother used to dance on the ice. The house we have is right by a lake and sometimes it freezes solid. It's very pretty," she explained,looking around and suddenly very aware of her head. She touched the back of it tentatively. "I can't get used to this at all... Maybe after the weekend I'll have Carl take me hat shopping."

She moved to the fireplace, flicking a switch to the side of it. Curtains swept along the whole expanse of the huge windows, cocooning them inside. They were rich and red, and made the room look warm, and a lot smaller.

"What were Christmases like for you when you and your sister were little?"

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas smiled, fondly remembering christmases long past.

"Erin always woke up first on christmas day. She'd have a hard time going to sleep the night before, wanting to set out milk and cookies for Santa and just being too excited about the decorations and presents and the christmas specials. But my parents always managed to get her to bed eventually, by telling her that christmas would come faster if she went to sleep."

Nicholas paused. God, she'd been so cute. A boisterous little red haired girl who'd woken him up by jumping on his mattress while screaming at the top of her lungs "IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

"She woke me up early, I mean like 5 AM, and she waited for me to get up so we could race down to the living room. I always let her win. She would stop and stare wide-eyed at the empty plate of cookies and the empty glass of milk. She drew pictures for Santa when she was smaller and she continued doing this into her teens. I found the drawings when cleaning up in my father's stuff. The last few drawings were addressed to him though, but she just loved the tradition so much. I know dad was tickled pink by it. After checking the milk and cookies, my sister always insisted on checking the decorations of the whole house to acknowledge all the work mom and dad had invested for us to wake up to. After that, and ONLY after that, we went to open our presents."

Nicholas chuckled.

"I once tried to go straight to the presents and she scolded me and shamed me so intensely that I started crying. She went to me and hugged me then, calmly explaining to me that I had to know that christmas was about more than presents. She was all of 7 years old then. She was smart like that, Erin. Still is, I guess."

"After opening all our presents and playing with them for a while we went to wake up mom and dad. When we got old enough to not hurt ourselves we made them coffee and a light breakfast that we served them in bed. We also brought them our gifts to them so they would open those first. They would get up an open the rest of their presents while Erin and I would either play with our new presents or watch cartoons. Or both. Later in the day, the turkey with all the trimmings. We went for walks, we rode toboggans or we tried our new skates on. Erin took to skating quickly. She was so graceful! And such a showoff! 'Look at me, look what I can do!' If the weather was bad we stayed inside and played boardgames. We sometimes visited relatives or they visited us."

He sighed, his mind thousands of miles away. He felt a little drained after that. He only had fond memories of his childhood christmases. Christmas in the army was mostly sad affairs with much forced bonhomie and lots of people stealing away to cry because they were thousands of miles away from their loved ones. Christmas on the street? He knew the Salvation Army and other organizations did what they could, but it was an even sadder affair than christmas in the army. He welled up, quickly looking away.

They spent an hour comparing notes on christmas celebrations and teasing wishes for gifts from one another. His awkwardness around her abated a little when talking about stuff he loved, he noticed.

After a while her eyes started drooping, as did his. He rose and said he'd better get to his (his!) apartment so she could get some sleep. At once her eyes seemed anxious.

"I will be one floor down from you if you need me, and" he checked the time "Marianne is in the foyer, screening visitors with the doorman. If you get frightened during the night, please don't hesitate to call me."

He ventured closer to her and grasped her least damaged hand gently.

"I will endeavour to never let anything bad happen to you ever again, my benefactor."

He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek while his thumb gently stroked her hand. "Good night, Elin."

 

[prettyserpentine]

And like that, he was gone.

Elinor sat for a moment, holding the hand he had kissed, brushing the knuckles against her cheek. She curled up on the sofa, choosing some forgettable Christmas movie on Netflix to fall asleep to. She lay there, covered in a blanket in front of the fire, watching the TV mounted above the fireplace. The movie was the typical Christmas affair, late present buying, the Christmas morning with the happy kid and their parents.

Her heart ached. She missed her mom and dad. Especially this year. But she wouldn't sully their memory by being miserable. Her father adored Christmas, he spoiled her and Mother so much, Christmas just hadn't been the same after 2001. He couldn't bear to celebrate it. It took a couple of years after his death, and she started to enjoy it again. And having already missed Thanksgiving, she was determined to make this Christmas one to remember. She warmed with thoughts and ideas as she started to fall asleep, her mind full of tinsel, snow and baubles.

--------------

A week later

Elinor hadn't bothered to set the alarm, so the curtains were still shut when she awoke. She was a little confused, and then remembered it was Saturday. That's why her alarm hadn't gone off. The last week had been hectic. She'd been to see the therapist Greta had arranged. The first few sessions had been tough, she'd spent most of the time in silence. But the third session, the one yesterday, she had finally started to talk. It was slow progress. She refused all the sleeping pills and relaxants he offered her. The nightmares weren't pleasant, but she knew they weren't real. There had only been two nights it had been so bad she had called Nicholas. Well, the first time he had heard her screaming from his apartment. And she'd been sleepwalking too, but the therapist said that was normal. She had been seeing a physiotherapist daily too, building up the strength in her hands. She was relentless, defiantly fighting against the threat of panic, and the nightmares. She knew she could beat this, learn to deal with it.

Having him there helped her. The two nights he came up, he stayed all night, working on his laptop, keeping watch over her. She felt guilty, wondering where he disappeared to on the days he took her to the therapy sessions.. Sometimes he'd be gone one, two hours at a stretch. She never asked, but feeling him near her was comforting. The panic was worse if she knew he was far away. The second night, the terrors had frightened her so much he sat on the bed with her, holding her until she fell asleep. She was becoming attached to him, and the thought made her heart pound in that panicked way.

This morning, she lay where she had awakened, curled in the armchair in her practice room. She was very aware she had fallen asleep on the sofa, and had walked here during the night. She didn't like that, and had considered asking the boys to move in with her for a while, but had been turned off the idea by her uncle and Nicholas, who continuously scolded her in that caring way for not calling him every time she had a bad dream. She sat up in the armchair, and lifted her violin. She plucked it, checked the tuning, adjusted her poise as she stood up, and just as she was about to play...

Her cell rang. It was Carl. He and Alfredo were on their way over and would arrive in twenty minutes. She said she was looking forward to it, and demanded they go shopping, which pleased Carl immensely. Her mood had definitely improved, in baby steps. She managed a quick breakfast and a shower. She was running around the apartment in a towel when she heard the doorbell ring. Someone had let them into the building already. Probably Marianne. She went for the door, holding her towel around her wet skin. It was a bit short, but the guys wouldn't care. She lacked what they were attracted to.

She pulled open the door, and her face went beet red when Nicholas was standing there, Carl and Alfredo behind him, smirking. She stared, wide eyed before ducking behind the door.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said, cursing in Russian.

"Nicky here just wanted to escort us up. And say Good Morrrrning," Carl said in a sing-song voice, wandering past her.

Alfredo murmured something at Nicholas, who had turned around to avoid her embarrassment. He slapped him on the shoulder, chuckling at Nicholas' discomfort.

"Remember, movie night at your place tonight, darling," Alfredo winked as he entered the apartment behind Carl, closing the door. "Have fun at work!"

Elinor had already ducked back into her bedroom to dress. She was affronted. Carl stood outside the door as she put on her underwear, and pulled on skinny blue jeans and knee high suede boots. She was in her walk in wardrobe, struggling into a fluffy pink jumper that was snug against her skin, accentuating her slender curves. It's huge cowl neck only served to make her exception ally short hair look even more daring. She frowned as Alfredo walked in. In his left hand he had a long blonde wig with platinum highlights, in his right one that was baby pink, a short, cosmopolitan bob.

"They're your disguises, Miss M. Try them on."

She doubled over laughing as she pulled on the long blonde one. It made her look like she was about sixteen. She applied make up, but it didn't look right. She'd never suited long hair. Alfredo positioned the pink one on her head, ruffling the choppy layers around her face. She loved it, it looked daring. She put on hanging diamond hoop earrings.

"Delicious!" Alfredo clapped. "Now, these." He opened a long case, filled with contact lenses of various colours. Elinor bounced in her chair, picking two shocking grey ones.

She looked completely unlike herself as she donned her white fur coat and a beret. She fastened a diamond brooch shaped like a violin to her lapel and ruffled her fluffy pink cowl over the top of her coat.

"Will I do?"

Carl swooned, and Alfredo looked at her with quiet pleasure. "You look fantastic. Now, let's go shopping." He checked his cell. "Nicky will be leaving in a few minutes, he's down with Xavier. They've ordered a car for us." He looked at Carl. "Ready honey?"

Carl hooked one arm through Elinor's, Alfredo hooked his arm through her other one and they swept her out the door and into the elevator. She was still smiling brightly when the doors opened on the ground floor, and Xavier looked at her, utter confusion in his face. Alfredo laughed at his expression, the similar one on Nicholas' face.

"God, we are good! Clearly we should be designers!" Carl laughed.

"Be more of a stereotype, lover," Alfredo smirked. He looked at Nicholas. Marianne had clicked on who it was and started to laugh. "We figured it as the best way to fool The Vultures..."

The car pulled up outside, and Elinor clicked across the floor in her high heels. She pressed a kiss to Nicholas' cheek, tracing her finger across the lipstick.

"Oops," she said, her accent giving her away. She stopped at the car door, waving at him as she slipped on her sunglasses and getting in.

Carl said his farewells to Xavier, giving Marianne a quick hug. The boys had got friendly with her since she'd been on guard in the building, seeing her every day or so. Elinor had even managed to sneak her up to the apartment for lunch. She enjoyed having a girlfriend. He saluted at Nicholas. "See you at seven, handsome. You can decide between Thai or Italian."

Alfredo snorted. "Please darling, we all know Italian is better..."

They bundled into the car and sped off. Marianne looked at the lipstick smudge on Nicholas' reddening cheek. She softened, realising, as he looked at the car leaving, that he had lost his heart. She sighed, handing him a baby wipe from her purse.

"I never noticed until now. You kids..." She glanced at Alexey's company car, the one that followed Elinor's, before looking back at Nicholas as he wiped his face. "I volunteered for detail over Christmas. Elinor sort of, twisted my arm." She fiddled with her wedding ring. "She offered for us to come stay, Christmas Eve and Day. Me and Will and the kids. We're for my parents on Boxing Day." Marianne had three kids, two girls, Katie and Olivia, and her son Rex. Olivia wasn't a year old. Rex was six and Katie was four. She looked up at Nicholas warily. "I said I'd have to ask you..."

She threw her arms around him when he agreed, giving him another lipstick smudge! "Oh my god the kids will be thrilled! Ice skating and tobogganing, Christmas in the country!"

------------

When they came home, Elinor, Carl and Alfredo lay on the sofa together, surrounded by bags from various shops. Elinor's wig was a little askew.

"Coffee?" Carl asked.

"Uh huh," Elinor mumbled.

"Okay Elin, you get up," Alfredo groaned.

"Uh uh," she muttered.

"Alright then Carl, you go."

"No baby you make proper Italian coffee. You go."

They argued about who was making coffee until Carl informed them it was almost seven. They scrambled over each other, discarding coats and scarves, grabbing a bottle of red wine and one white as they made for the door. Elin left her shoes in the apartment, pulling on her bed socks.

"Fluffy feet, skinny legs," Carl joked. He fixed the cowl of her oversized jumper that hugged her body. "You look cracking." He fixed her wig that had a little tinsel ring, like a halo set on her head. She switched off the lights around her Christmas tree that she had invited Nicholas to help her with. They'd had a fun night that evening. He'd made eggnog and they'd talked about their school days. She was enjoying getting to know him.

Alfredo set the alarm and a few minutes later they all swarmed into Nicholas' apartment. Ali bust out laughing as Nicholas presented Italian for dinner. They ate until they were stuffed, and Nicholas used the bottle of red to make mulled wine. He was getting good! They sat down in the living room to watch 'It's A Wonderful Life'. Elin had begged, she watched it every year and the boys teased that this year it was Home Alone. They snuggled up together in the huge armchair, Alfredo's head against Carl's chest, their hands and fingers intertwined. Nicholas put on the movie and joined Elinor on the couch.

The boys were asleep in half an hour. Elinor was dog tired too. She sat next to Nicholas, and eventually slid onto his shoulder, her head resting there, her pink wig askew. After an hour, Carl looked around. A smile crossed his lips. Elinor's head rested on a pillow, in Nicholas' lap. One arm was draped over her, their fingers just barely touching. His other hand curled into a fist, propping his head up as he watched her sleep. Alfredo turned, looking, smiling fondly. The credits were rolling.

"Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends." Carl echoed Clarence's words as he and Alfredo looked lovingly at Elin and Nicholas. She stirred a little, her fingers brushing his.

Alfredo got up, stretching. It was just past midnight. Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve. "Baby come on, we need to get home so we can pack. The car's picking us up tomorrow at six." He looked down at Nicholas, who was sliding out from under Elin with great awkwardness. She grumbled a little, her wig falling off and showing her short black hair, clumped in spikes from the wig. Carl bent down, touching her shoulder and she stirred a little, sitting up sleepily. Her eyes were half closed. She was still asleep.

"Is it bedtime?"

"Yes sweetness, it is. We're taking you back up." Carl helped her stand. She looked through heavy lidded eyes at Nicholas.

"I missed dinner, didn't I..." She swayed a little and Carl put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. She moved against Nicholas, hugging him tightly, her body warm with sleep, pressed against him. "Goodnight Nikolai..." And then she said something in Russian, kissing him on the jawline and walking to the door. Alfredo and Carl said their good nights.

"Don't forget Nicky, the car is picking you up after us. Six fifteen or so. It takes about ninety minutes to get out there, and pack warm. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, chico!"

The boys put her to bed, set the alarm and went home.

---------------

The curtains opened bright and early at seven thirty in the morning. Her aunt and uncle would be there just after lunch to pick her up, so she had about six hours to wrap all her gifts, and pack and get ready!

Elinor. Was. Excited. She was the picture of excitement. She had woken up in her own bed, had slept well and without nightmares, and was wondering who the hell had dressed her in her nightie. She rolled over in bed and saw a scribbled note.

"It was us, darling. But we tried not to look. All those girly bits made us feel a bit queasy, so sex is off the menu for tonight... Eww. Also, full Brazilian, how very risqué of you. Wear less see through panties.

See you tonight!

Love, Carlfredo x

She rolled over again, burying her head in the pillow and squealed with laughter. Those bitches. She jumped out of bed, put The Nutcracker Suite on her iPod, plugged it in to the stereo and let it boom out as she ballerina'ed around the living room. She grabbed a length of tinsel and danced around, singing along to the music. She unpacked her shopping bags, checking all the labels were off everything and starting to wrap.

It took three hours. By the end, she felt a little embarrassed. It looked like Christmas elves had walked into her dining room and exploded everywhere. She had colour coordinated everything. Carl's presents were wrapped in blue and silver, Alfredo's in silver and blue. With bows. She loved bows. Uncle Alexey's were wrapped in green and red, Aunt Greta's in red and green. She had wrapped the new china set and cognac for Mr and Mrs Wilson in gold. And for Marianne and Will, checkered paper, and pink and blue for the children. Nicholas' were all in black and white. Everything was pristinely wrapped, with labels and bows, and all the Christmas cards were written.

She quickly grabbed a fast lunch of rice and a little chicken, and then packed a case, or two for their few days in the country. She picked her cell up, and sent a text to Nicholas. 'Thank you for last night. It's almost Christmas Eve! Excited!' She bounded into the shower, scrubbed her hair until it was standing up on her head. Almost four weeks growth. She had a way to go yet, but at least it covered her head. She did her makeup. Curled her eyelashes, put on black eyeliner and did her eyes silvery-gray, smoky. Her lashes were long and dark, and she painted her lips a deep red. The bruises were gone, the only thing on her cheeks now was their natural glow, even after she rubbed in her slightly sheen moisturiser. She went to the wardrobe, instantly deciding on a deep dark red lace dress. She wore sheer nylons and black shiny heels.

And just as she was putting in her long, dangly earrings, her mother's diamonds, the doorbell rang. She ran to it, grinning broadly as her uncle swept her off her feet with a loud happy Christmas in Russian. The driver and Xavier started carrying down her bags and her presents.

"Darling you look so beautiful! Have you got your coat? Greta is in the car waiting." He gave her a kiss.

"I'll just get it now, I want to stop off at Nicholas' first."

Alexey winked at her as she lifted her long wool coat with the fur trim, her purse, and an envelope. "Of course, my little Christmas Angel!"

They stopped off at the next floor, and she slipped his Christmas card under the door. Inside the card, she had written 'Clarence says, Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?' She had pressed her red lips to it. He had touched her life, and like Mary loved George, whispered her love into the card.

When they were about half an hour into the journey, Greta spoke up.

"I should probably let you know, the charity is going well. We have lots of investors, we are looking into buying property for rehabilitation hospices for women. Your uncle's setting up the Veteran's trust, and we've had a lot of interest in the help for victims." She looked unsurely at Alexey. She took a breath and looked back at her niece. "I've been to see Elizabeth O'Hara. She's married to Bartholomew O'Hara III, he's old money. Real estate now, but got the family money from whaling apparently. Barbaric, but he seems harmless enough. Mrs O'Hara's got teeth though. She's climbing the ladder."

Elinor looked confused. "Should I know her?"

Alexey put a big hand on her knee. "She's Nicholas' mother."

Elinor blinked.

"She's becoming involved in the charity, on her daughter's behalf." Greta was clearly keeping something back, but didn't say much. "I just thought you should know. I've had a few meetings with her."

"How is Erin?"

Greta looked down bleakly. "She took me with her one evening to visit. The girl barely responds. She's a very pretty girl, but... she just needs better help." Greta looked up, that fire and determination in her face. "And she'll get it."

Elinor smiled.

They talked about the charities, their guests for Christmas, the two boys, Nicholas and then Marianne's family. Elinor couldn't wait to get to the house. She'd had her instruments sent ahead. Before long, they rounded the bend into a clear stretch of single road through old, huge trees. She eagerly looked out the window as they drove around the front of the lake. Over the icy expanse of the lake, there it was. Her childhood home, the present her mother's first six years of international touring of ballet had bought. She opened the window, breathing in the fresh air, the cold snow lighting in her outstretched hand. The car drove across the bridge, and up to the usual entrance, where Mrs Wilson and her husband greeted them with happy smiles and tears. She was an Irish woman too, an old family friend of Greta's. She was the head of staff at the country estate and it wasn't long before she and Greta fell into friendly banter.

Christmas was everywhere. The huge hall in the house had garlands hung from everywhere, twinkling lights and scented candles. Elinor ran through the rooms like a child, helping arrange the Christmas presents in the sitting room underneath the ten foot high pine tree. She had her instruments sent to her mother's dancing suite. All the bedrooms were prepared, she heard Mrs Wilson tell her aunt. She busied herself with unpacking her things, helping the staff with anything that needed to be done.

Her cell pinged. She hadn't even realised the time. A voicemail from Carl and a text from Marianne.

"We are in a freaking ENTOURAGE. Our car, Marianne's behind, and one for the freaking luggage?! Overkill! We are coming up to some lake. Is that a castle? Oh no way. No WAY!" The line cut.

Marianne's text read: 'The kids think they just saw a reindeer. The house is incredible. Can't thank you enough.'

Elinor was bursting with excitement. Carl knew the house wasn't exactly small. All the same, she didn't want them to think she was boasting. It wasn't her wealth, she hadn't earned it. She smoothed her dress down and hurried to the entrance. She'd asked the driver to leave them to the front of the house, so she could welcome them into the properly decorated Christmassy hall. The staff were in their black and white uniforms. Mrs Wilson opened the front door and Elinor could just see the three cars pass the lake. She stepped out onto the gravel as the boys car pulled up.

Would Nicholas like the house? Would this be too much? Would he think she was ungrateful or a snob? She twisted the hem of her skirt as she stood there nervously in the falling snow.

The boys stumbled out of the car. Alfredo just gasped at the house. Carl hugged and kissed her. Christmas carols drifted out of the house from inside, and the smell of heated mince pies and mulled wine. Alexey and Greta greeted them all loudly. Will shook Alexey's hand heartily, thanking them for their generosity. Marianne gave Elinor a warm hug, and told her not to worry. She nestled a sleeping Olivia in a warm blanket, hugged to her chest. Katie and Rex were pointing at the lake and fighting over who would skate fastest, and then they ran up to Nicholas.

"Happy Christmas, mommy's boss!" They chimed before running after their father into the house and screaming at the Christmas tree and all the presents. Elinor stepped nervously towards Nicholas as the hustle and bustle retreated inside.

"Happy Christmas," she said as silence and snow felt between them. His cheeks were red from the cold and so were hers. "I hope you like it," she said shyly, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. Her head was cold. "I hope you don't think I'm ungrateful... I am. So much, so very much..."

He was looking at her, and she was looking at him, and they were so close. She looked into his darling blue eyes, and leaned closer to him...

And then there was laughter. And a snowball that exploded on Nicholas' thigh.

"Rex! You get back here this instant! I will not tell you again..." Will shrugged apologetically as he ushered the little boy indoors.

Elinor looked back at Nicholas, brushing the snow off his shoulders.

"Come come, you two! You are letting the cold in!" Alexey's voice boomed, and Elinor took Nicholas' hand, pulling him indoors, letting go, and closing the door. The Russian bear threw his arms around them both.

"Who's for a nice warm mince pie and a glass of cognac??"





Her dress: http://i6.cdnds.net/13/44/450x450/dark-red-lace-party-dress-oasis.jpeg

The view from across the lake: http://thatsdriculous.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/100_0427.jpg

The usual entrance: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h7P7hILU_yI/S_pEYQGwnyI/AAAAAAAABL8/IPWa7ND1IvU/s1600/Ardv+House.jpg

 

[Niceandbrutal]

A few days after her breakdown and their dinner together Nicholas finally summoned up the courage to visit his sister. He'd driven Elinor to her physical therapist and arranged for Marianne to pick her up afterwards. As he drove up to the St. Sunniva resting home, his stomach was in a knot. Would she be happy to see him again? Would she be mad? Would she even remember him?

He stopped the car as a panic attack washed over him. He leaned his forehead on the steering wheel and breathed heavily. Calm. Be calm. You're doing this for Erin as well as for yourself. She's your little sister and she loves you as you love her. Now snap out of it and GO, goddamnit!

Filled with resolve, he drove the last hundred meters and parked in the visitors spot. He entered the reception area and found to his relief that the kindly old African-American woman was still working there. Tonya her name was. She did a double take when she saw him, then lit up in a smile. "Oh Nicholas! Where have you been keeping yourself, boy? Your sister's been missing you!" She leaned in and lowered her voice. "She's started writing now. And vocalizing. But something's holding her back from speaking." She looked sad. Then she snapped out of it and gave him a friendly shove. "Now off with you! She's still got the same room!"

Nicholas climbed the stairs. Some of the staff he recognised and stopped briefly to chat with, some were strangers to him. Along the way he gathered that his mother visited once a week but that she was irregular in the days she would visit. Nicholas didn't really care.

He approached her room, his heart beating in his chest. The door was ajar but he knew better than to just burst in. He brought along one of the nurses he knew and had her enter the room first. He heard her carefully announce that Nicholas was here and he heard a tiny squeal from inside the room. "You can come in now, Nicholas!" The nurse held the door open for him and exited.

Her hair was the same colour it had always been. Her eyes still matched his and there was more life in them now than he'd remembered from earlier. Her freckled face revealed no emotions as she stood and stared at him. He noticed a notepad with an attached pen sticking out of the pocket of her pants.

They stood looking at each other. Suddenly she marched to him, tears in her blazing eyes. She stood before him, breathing quickly and heavily and Nicholas knew he was in trouble. *WHAP!* She slapped him hard then stood back, a look of regret and sorrow on her face as her eyes welled up. Nicholas just looked at her. She had every right to be upset with him. "Ow. It's okay Erin, I haven't been there for you the last few years. I-"

That was as far as he got. A flurry of freckled arms and a shock of red hair crashed into him and he again marveled at such a slender frame being so strong as to squeeze the air out of him. She hugged him fiercely, like her life depended on it. And she cried, a howl of mixed sorrow and joy at seeing her big brother again. Nicholas embraced her gently. To hold her in his arms again meant more to him than anything else right now. Her body shook as sobs and wails emanated from her and Nicholas realized how much pain he'd caused her by staying away out of stupid stubborn pride. "I'm so sorry Erin, God, I-" His voice cracked, then he broke down and wept. They stood there crying and hugging each other, then they softly released each other.

Her notepad was out and her hand traced quickly over the paper with the pen. She held the notepad up for him to read: "Where were you? Were you angry with me?" It was written in her hand, although a bit shaky. She looked at him with a mixture of fear, doubt, and anger.

Nicholas sat down heavily and sighed. "No Erin, me being away was never about you." She wrote again and showed him: "What then?"

"You really want the whole story?" She nodded furiously. "Allright, but you're going to be upset." She shrugged as if to say "try me!"

Nicholas told her the whole story. She sat stunned as he told about the massacre he'd witnessed and been ordered to partake in and there was fire in her eyes when he told of how he socked his CO and broke his jaw. When he told of his being locked away in a psychiatric ward and the eventual dishonorable discharge she was visibly upset, balling her fists up until her knuckles were white. "It doesn't get any better, Erin. Are you sure you want me to continue?" She nodded, apprehension in her eyes.

When he told about coming home to a divorce and an empty bank account he was interrupted by furious writing again: "I never liked her!"

"And from there it really went downhill," he continued. She watched with a wary expression as he told about the bank foreclosing on the house and him being left with nothing. And then he let the real bombshell drop: "I lived on the streets for several years, Erin. I was too ashamed of what I'd become to come visit you."

She wrote the word "STUPID!" and pointed at him. He shrugged at that. "Maybe so. How would you act in my place, Erin? Truthfully?" That gave her some pause. He watched her face as she weighed her options. She sighed and wrote: "Sorry."

He leaned forward and stroked her cheek, noticing that she didn't twitch like she'd used to do the last time he'd seen her. "Don't be. This is life just getting FUBAR. Any way, some three weeks ago I was sleeping in an alley..."

He told the tale of him rescuing Elinor and how she in turn had helped him. Erin's face went from abject horror to joy during his tale. As he talked about Elinor she started watching him closely, a small smile hovering around her mouth. Then she wrote something and showed him what she'd written with that impish grin of hers: "You + Elinor = ?"

Nicholas flushed and laughed, a little embarassed: "None of your Business, you little brat!" A gale of laughter from Erin was halted before it could start by a stern voice: "NICHOLAS!"

He turned around. Standing in the doorway was Elizabeth O'Hara, former Elizabeth McKenzie, and she was furious. Nicholas stood up, a chill washing over him. "Mother."

"What is the MEANING of this, Nicholas!? You disappear for years, scaring u- your sister half to death before suddenly waltzing in here like nothing had happened! Do you know how FRAGILE she is, Nicholas!? Do you know how hard it's been to get her to where she is today!? WITHOUT any help from you, I might add!" She crossed the room and sat down next to Erin.

"I'm so sorry for you, darling. I'm mad at him too- no no, put the notepad away. I'm sure you've overexerted yourself as it is. Put it away, Erin!" She glared at Nicholas. "I think you should leave, Nicholas. You've upset her." A soft noise of protest emanated from Erin as Nicholas turned to leave and he turned around in time to catch his sister as she pummeled into him, crying. He embraced her and looked over at their mother who seemed filled with doubt as a softness crept into her eyes. She cleared her throat: "Nicholas will be back some other time to see you Erin. And it won't take him several years this time, will it Nicholas?"

He cupped Erin's chin and looked into her startling blue eyes. "I promise it won't. Bye Erin. I love you, sis. Mother." He gave a curt nod at his mom. She was on the verge of saying something but checked herself. She nodded back, and Nicholas left.

Nicholas drove home and collapsed on the couch, emotionally drained. He fell into blissful sleep after eating a quick dinner. He slept like a baby despite of the emotional upheavals of the day.

------------------------------------

A few days later he was back. Music was emanating from Erin's room. He looked inside and there she was, dancing. Tears filled Nicholas' eyes as he watched her, as graceful and beautiful as ever. The music stopped and she stood alone in the room, breathing rapidly. He let out a little cough and she whirled around. She beamed when she saw him and she ran to him and hugged him.

"I'm glad to see you still dance, Erin." She shrugged noncommittaly and took out her notepad. She wrote: "Angry = dance. Sad = dance. Happy = dance."

"So which one was it now?" She looked at him and made a sad face. "Why were you sad just now?" She wrote: "You, homeless." She added a picture of a broken heart and looked at him with a sad expression, shaking her head.

"That's all history now, Erin. I live in a great flat and I have a well-paying job doing what I do best." She gave his knee a little slap and shook her head vigorously before writing: "Mom right. Writing is what you do best!" He smiled at the compliment and answered her: "Maybe, but it doesn't pay the bills." She looked like she wanted to say something, like she wanted to protest. She lifted her notepad, thought for a second, then put it down with a frustrated grunt.

Wanting to alter the mood, Nicholas asked if she wanted to go for a walk on the grounds. She nodded, a big smile on her face. He soon discovered that her walking outside was something of a big deal, as everyone exclaimed and smiled when they saw her, to the point of irritating them both. They spent an hour outside, sometimes walkign around, other times just standing and watching the enchanting beauty of winter. Nicholas turned to her: "I miss spending christmas with you, sis. You always loved christmas so much. Do you still like it?" She wrote: "Not the same without you," breaking his heart again.

"Maybe you could spend christmas with me this year? I'll be spending it with the same nice people that helped me after I helped Elin." She looked visibly upset and on the verge of tears as she shook her head. She lifted the notepad, a look of desperate exhaustion on her face. She simply wrote: "Ask Tanya."

"Okay, I will." They went back inside and he said his goodbyes and assured her he'd be back to see her as soon as he could. An impish grin spread across her face again as she wrote: "Bring girlfriend." He chuckled and hugged her, leaving her smiling this time. As he went down the hall from her room he heard music and movement as of someone dancing.

He went to Tanya and asked her about arranging for him to spend christmas with Erin, and she told him that their mother had plans, some sort of invitation from some very important rich people. Nicholas scoffed. That was so like her! Always the climber, his mother. Oh well. There'd be other christmases.

He talked with Tanya and was told she still had days where she lay in bed the whole day, not eating or drinking and not responding except when her mother was here. He asked her to call him the next time she had an unresponsive day.

---------------------------------------------

The next week flew by like a whirlwind. His team was still committed to guard Elin, which suited him fine. This gave him an excuse to spend more time with her.

He'd awoken one night to her screams and rushed up to find her thrashing in her bed. He shook her awake and spoke calmly to her. She flinched before she realized who it was. He was proud and a little humbled by the soothing effect he had on her. The second night was worse. She'd called him up in the middle of the night, almost impossible to understand as she wept. He'd had to sit and hold her as she clung to him and wept, finally falling asleep in his arms. He'd managed to put her back to bed, and she'd slept like a baby for the rest of the night.

He'd also busied himself shopping presents when she was in therapy, and on those days he'd driven her home himself, listening to her talk about the progress she'd made with her hands. So far he'd secured a slinky black silk dress for Elin (with help and encouragement from Carl and Alfredo), a selection of wines and an IOU for dinner at his place for Carl and Alfredo (with help and encouragement from Elinor), Alexey and Greta had everything they wanted or needed (or so they told him), so he put together a basket of gourmet food and drink for them to enjoy, some he'd made himself and some was bought in exclusive stores. For Marianne and Will he made three coupons, valid for one night each. Those nights he would swap homes with them and watch their children and let them borrow his apartment to be just boyfriend and girlfriend again. He'd also prepare meals for them. Listening to Marianne, Robert, and Joseph convinced him that parents needed to be alone from time to time. And pampered. For Erin he bought a pair of ice skates. He bought silly one-piece costumes for the kids in addition to some boardgames.

He also went to a printer and bookbinder for two very special presents.

-----------------------------------------------------

The day before leaving for the estate arrived. Marianne reported to him with a giggle, saying that Carl and Alfredo were here. The two lovebirds had utterly charmed Marianne, and Marianne had in turn grown close to Elin, it seemed. Nicholas told Marianne to hang on to them as he took the elevator down to meet them, adjusting his tie and jacket on his way down. He'd grown so fond of seeing her that he'd take any excuse he could, even one as flimsy as escorting Carl and Alfredo to her apartment. She didn't seem to mind, though.

In fact, he'd spent a very nice evening at her place decorating her tree. They'd talked about their teens and the schools they'd attended. She'd teased him about him being older than her and he'd responded with mock gruffness about 'kids today'. It had been a nice evening with eggnog and small talk, a memory he'd already come to relish.

On the ride up he kept checking how he looked in the mirror, something that didn't escape the attention of Carl and Alfredo. They kept pointing out non-existent flaws to him. "Say Nicholas, is that a spot on your coller?" Nicholas checked the mirror to remove the imagined stain. "Straight out of the shower eh, Nicholas?" Nicholas at once straightened his hair. They couldn't keep it in in the end. "Oh you've git it BAD, Nicky! My compliments on your taste." Nicholas blushed but said nothing.

They stood outside her door and they shoved Nicholas to the front. "Go on and knock, you silly boy! The door won't open itself!" Alfredo nudged him and Nicholas knocked. The door opened, and there she stood, freshly scrubbed and bright, dressed in nothing but a- Oh My Gosh! As she exclaimed in english and russian before jumping behind the door, he averted his eyes. Carl pranced into her apartment while Alfredo placed a hand on Nicholas' shoulder and muttered "You should go downstairs and wait. Prepare to be astounded."

Nicholas was in the lobby, chatting with Marianne when they heard the elevator door open. Nicholas was puzzled. Who was that woman Carl and Alfredo was accompanying? A beret perched on top of what could only be a shocking pink wig, white fur coat and blue jeans with knee high suede boots and a hint of a pink sweater underneath. Marianne started laughing as the woman approached, and Nicholas started to catch on. A clever disguise indeed, reverse camouflage at its best. Nicholas was about to congratulate her on her new look when she leaned in and kissed him.

He stood gawping as she sashayed out the door and left in the car with her two impossibly sweet and annoying friends. He absentmindedly wiped his face as Marianne with a motherly tone talked to him. He was happy to have her, Will and especially Rex, Katie and Olivia there. He loved kids and he loved christmas. As Marianne hugged and kissed him and thanked him he could only mutter "The pleasure's all mine."

---------------------------------------------

After work he ran like a madman to finish all his errands. The bookbinder was impatiently waiting for him, and he gave him an extra tip for waiting, eliciting a heartfelt "Merry Christmas" from them both. Next, he ran to a toystore, panicking for a moment, until he remembered the best gifts for him and Erin when they were small. Finally, he ran to the deli to pick up ingredients for that recipe of spezzatino he'd always wanted to try. Alfredo was right, italian food was superior to thai, although thai was good. But thai was more of a summer food in Nicholas' opinion.

He rushed home and started on the food. The advantage with spezzatino was that it was a dish that made itself as soon as you'd mixed the ingredients and put them in the kettle to let them simmer. This gave him time to decorate his apartment and wrap gifts while christmas songs blasted out of his system. He'd just finished wrapping the two special gifts to two very special persons and tucked them away when the doorbell rang.

He greeted them warmly, hugging all three. He feigned shock and outrage as Carl jokingly got a little frisky with his hands. Alfredo gave and got a firm manhug, while Elin... Nicholas kicked himself for not hanging up any mistletoe, but he just knew Carl and Alfredo would give him a hard time about it. She had the pink wig on still, giving her an almost impertinent air of confident beauty. To top it off, the tinsel halo. As he hugged her he whispered to her: "You don't need a halo to look like an angel, Elin."

For starters he served bruschetta rubbed with garlic and drenched in virgin olive oil with tomatoes and mozzarella. The main course was spezzatino, beef cubes in a richly spiced tomao sauce with potatoes. He'd cheated a bit for dessert, but the ice cream WAS italian at least. Alfredo was jubilant, and Carl couldn't hide his pleasure, even though he tried hard to sulk because he hadn't served thai.

The movie had been going for maybe half an hour. He'd always loved Robert Capa's portrayal of an american small town and how much one man could make a difference. The prayers emanating in the beginning of the movie always got to him, and after that he was hooked. Every. Time.

Half an hour in, and he felt a warm and soft press against his shoulder. She was fast falling asleep, so he grabbed a pillow and placed it in his lap as she gradually slid down. When her head softly landed in his lap, Nicholas was in heaven. He placed one arm over her, lightly touching the fingers of one of her hands, and his heart skipped a beat in sheer joy when she snuggled up to him.

The rest of the movie went by in a blur as he sat and watched the beautiful young woman who'd endured so much, sleeping in his lap. He didn't dare move in case he disturbed her peaceful sleep. When the credits tarted to roll, Carl and Alfredo gently shook her awake. Her eyes were askew and she had pillowmarks on her cheek. She had drooled just a little bit on the pillow. She had never been cuter. Then she repeated the words she'd said to him in the hospital: "I missed dinner, didn't I..." Nicholas' heart skipped another beat then, and then she pressed her warm and tired body against him and kissed him, saying something in russian.

"One of these days I'm gonna have to learn russian, Elin." He followed them to the door and said goodbye and goodnight. As he cleaned up, his mind kept going back to the kisses she'd given him today. Did they seem like more than friendly kisses? He thought they did. Pondering this, he went to sleep with a big smile on his face.

-----------------------------------

The day before christmas eve, Nicholas got up bright and early and set off to work with a skip in his walk. There were some administrative issues he had to clear up with Joseph and economics. They'd started griping about overtime, but when Nicholas and Joseph showed up someone (Nicholas suspected Alexey) had smoothed the issues out. He ended up taking each team member in turn for lunch, thanking them for so readily accepting him as team leader.

He arrived home to find Elin's lovely christmas card waiting for him under his door. He read it and was moved to tears by the message, and more than a little aroused by the lipstick. After that message he was ready to lasso the moon for her. He packed his bag and went downstairs to meet Carl and Alfredo. Marianne with her family had also shown up, and he finally had the chance to meet Will, her husband. He was a stocky and calm muscular man, a firefighter by profession. Her two oldest kids were driving Xavier to distraction, asking him if he had to open the door EVERY time they wanted to go in or out of the building.

"Rex, Katie, I want you to come and say hello to mommy's boss!" They grew timid as they ent over to him. He knelt down and shook hands with both of them. "Hey Rex, hey Katie. I am Nicholas. I am very pleased to meet you!" They hid behind the safety of their parents legs and watched him, Carl and Alfredo with a smiling shyness that promised he'd have his hands full when they warmed to him. Olivia was in her parents arms, smiling and almost speaking.

The cars arrived, and they piled in. The drive was long but pleasant. Nicholas went with marianne and Will and their three kids. Nicholas helped Marianne and Will with the kids as best he could. He ended up with Katie in his lap while Rex was squirming in his seat. Olivia fell asleep after a little whining and slept for the most part of the journey. He played "I spy" and took part in singalongs with the kids, having a great but exhausting time.

Then they caught sight of the estate and there was a simultaneous gasp from all passengers in the car. The kids insisted they'd seen a reindeer and Nicholas wasn't about to argue with them. If their imagination made pretty christmas-y pictures for them, who was he to object? They would grow up soon enough. The estate was immense. And beautiful. No wonder Elin was so fond of spending christmas here. He found he was glad she had a place she loved so much and had good memories attached to it.

They arrived and were received by Elin, looking absolutely fetching in her burgundy red dress. He was caught off guard about her not wanting to seem ungrateful. If anything, he'd never before experienced such a wealth of gratitude from anyone before, and he told her so in no uncertain terms. After the hubbub had moved inside, Nicholas and Elin shared a moment of almost kissing, interrupted by Rex and his snowball. As they were ushered inside, Nicholas turned to Elin and whispered to her in his atrocious impersonation of James Stewart: "You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

Still holding hands and gently pushed along by Alexey, they entered the living room where Mrs Wilson had served mince pies, mulled wine and cocoa for the children. The christmas tree was tall and bright and beautiful and Rex and Katie stood watching it and the presents underneath it with unrestrained glee. Everyone mingled and chatted, and Elin, Greta, and Alexey made everyone feel welcome as the snacks and drink made everyone relax and loosen up.

Dinner was served a while later, and the smell of a delicious meat and vegetable soup filled the room. Nicholas made sure to compliment Mrs. Wilson on the excellent fare. He kept stealing glances at Elin during the meal and after, to no-one's surprise. He was almost certain she was watching him as well. God, but she was beautiful.

Nicholas made an early night of it, drifting off to sleep at once, his head filled with happy thoughts of his first real christmas in many a year.

 

[prettyserpentine]

It was the soft knock on her door that awoke Elinor early on Christmas Eve morning. The bleary eyes of Carl and Alfredo greeted her.

"Late night?" She smirked, sitting up in bed.

They closed the door and threw themselves theatrically on her bed. "So. Late."

Alfredo lay on his back, his arm over his head. "Remind me never to take on an Irishwoman in a whiskey drinking competition."

Elinor giggled.

"So what's the plan for today, Mrs Claus?"

"The only thing I normally do on Christmas Eve is go for a walk. There are some lovely sights around here, and the forest is lovely. We could even go ice skating later, maybe bring the kids. That'd be nice, right?"

"Uhhhh you mean we can't just lie by the fire and be hungover all day? It's Christmas Eeeeve, Elinor..."

She rose up on her knees and shook the two men. "It's self inflicted, you'll not get any sympathy from me! Now I'm going to wake Nicholas."

"Oooooh!"

Elinor pulled on her long wool bathrobe and red slippers, and headed to the large oak door to the bathroom.

Carl raised a brow. "The bathroom?"

"It's adjoining his room. It's a very old house, and I haven't had the heart to modernise it. I'll just be a second." She walked through the large marble bathroom, past the huge claw-footed marble bath and she knocked on the door identical to hers, opening it slightly and peeking her head around.

"Good morning."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas had had a dreamless sleep and he'd slept like a baby. He was just about to slowly wake up on his own when there was a knock and a creak from the bathroom door. Elinor peeked inside: "Good morning."

Nicholas smiled and pulled the duvet up a bit. He was only in his underwear and he was a bit shy to show off his body to her. His eyes were cheerfully narrow after a good nights sleep and his whole face, tousled hair and all, was one big smile as he answered her: "Good morning, Elin. Please come in."

He wanted to hear if there were any plans for today. He had a few suggestions of his own. From far off he could hear Rex, Katie and Olivia squeal and play. He loved the sound of happy children. He felt a pang of regret for Elin, being an only child. Sure, she had the undivided attention of her parents, but she'd have no-one to play with during the holidays.

"Any plans for today?"

He looked at her bright face peeking from the door. She seemed so happy here. He'd seen it on her face the night before as she went around and made sure everyone was happy. He realized just how deeply he'd fallen for her then. He'd seen her at possibly the worst crises of her life (apart from the death of her parents, of course) and he'd fallen for her then. Seeing her now, so happy and eager, made his heart beat a happy rhythm.

He couldn't wait to see what the day had in store for them.

 

[prettyserpentine]

A large smile lingered on her face as she walked into the room, avoiding looking at him with no shirt on. She had caught a glimpse, and as she started pulling open the curtains, her cheeks glowed a little. Both of their rooms faced the front of the house, looking out over the lake that was covered in a thick layer of ice. It had stopped snowing for the moment, but the ground was crisp and unblemished, with its thick coat of white.

Elinor turned and walked back to the bed, sitting at the bottom and leaning back against the large mahogany post. She tucked her legs underneath herself, the robe parting a little over her knees and the sparkle of satin shining through the burgundy robe.

"Well, I was just telling the guys that I normally go for a walk on Christmas Eve. It's nice, with the snowy forest. And I thought the kids might like to go sledding. We have a couple of dogs, they love playing in the snow. I kept them out in the kennels last night, just in case they got over excited. We could maybe skate later. But once I get dressed, and breakfast, I think it'll be pretty fun. Kids seem to make Christmas."

She smiled, smelling the bacon and cinnamon buns that were being cooked up. She stood up.

"I'm sorry about you having to share a bathroom with a girl."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

He watched her enter the room, all slender grace and motion. As she pulled the curtains aside, he gasped at the view. He hadn't noticed it last night, seeing as it was dark when he went to bed. The beauty of the snow-covered landscape and the ice-covered lake was astounding, and his mind was conflicted as to what view to linger on. Elin won hands down.

As she sat down at the end of his bed he again marveled at the transformation that had taken place in her. She seemed so much more confident and content. Nothing pleased him more.

He smiled as she outlined the traditions of Christmas day in this house. He loved the thought of walking in the forest with her and everyone else. And dogs! He loved dogs.

"You know what, Elin? This is quickly turning into the best christmas since I was a kid. And it's all thanks to you. And I-" He'd been about to say I love you for it, but he was loudly interrupted as the door banged open and Katie stood in the doorway, a look of mirth on her face as she squealed and hid under the bed.

Rex was close behind. "Did you see Katie?" Nicholas feigned ignorance. Rex scampered off and Katie emerged, smiled at them both, then ran off.

The smell of bacon made his stomach growl.

"I don't mind sharing a bathroom with a girl, as long as she doesn't spend the whole morning in there," he quipped as he gave her a teasing smile.

 

[prettyserpentine]

"Well then, I'd better get moving! It sounds like someone needs their breakfast. Not to mention I have two ladies in my room who I'll have to turf out so I can get dressed." Elinor moved back to the bathroom door. "These don't have locks, so I'll knock when I'm done."

That moment, she could hear the squeals of Carl and Alfredo as they were accosted by the kids. She laughed, and then heard the squeals of the kids as her two friends chased them down to the breakfast room.

"Looks like I don't have to worry about that anymore..." She giggled, closing the door behind her. The shower was in a separate little room in the bathroom, and she used it quickly. There were warm towels stacked, and she grabbed one, wrapping it around herself before knocking his door in passing.

"It's all yours!" Just as she got to her door, she saw him walk in, dressed only in his underwear. She gasped, wrenching her eyes away as her long legs disappeared behind her door, barely hidden by her too short towel.

She dressed quickly, pulling on tight jeans and a Christmas jumper with people ice skating on it, and a Christmas tree. It hugged her figure, and she pulled on a pair of knee high leather boots before making her bed and heading down to have breakfast. Everyone else had either been, or wasn't out of bed yet.

She poured herself a glass of orange juice, and sat down to have bacon and eggs, and a pancake with a cup of tea. Her face lit up when the door opened.

"I think you take longer in the bathroom than I do. Clearly this new haircut was a great idea," she joked.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas found and laid out the clothes for today. He'd picked up a grey suit but chose to forego shirt and tie today, picking instead a white knitted sweater he'd found and bought. To be able to buy what he wanted again was a pleasure he'd indulged in since his first generous paycheck had come in. He'd given back the expense card to Alexey. Tried to, anyway. Trying to repay the Mironovs for any of their kindness had proved to be an exercise in futility.

The knock on the bathroom door and her voice brought him out of these happy thoughts. He grabbed his bag of toiletries and opened the door. He was rewarded by the surprised face of Elinor, her mouth forming a perfect 'O' as she hurriedly closed the door in a flash of long and shapely legs.

Nicholas flushed then. He had another bodily reaction that he took care of during a long shower. He didn't want to embarass himself in front of everyone. Shower and shave finished, he went to get dressed. He spent a long time in front of the mirror to check that everything was just so. He'd become mildly obsessed with his appearance after living so long on the street. He wanted to distance himself from that life as much as he could.

He came down to breakfast and greeted everyone good morning, smiling at Elinor's little jibe at him being longer in the bathroom than her. He couldn't really tell her why, now could he? He helped himself to eggs, bacon and a cinnamon bun as well as tea and juice, before he sat down next to Elin.

Carl and Alfredo looked at them with smiles on their faces, as did every other grownup around the table. The kids, thankfully, were oblivious and kept up a healthy level of noise as everyone tucked in.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor ate her breakfast heartily. Finally she felt more like herself as she laughed and joked with her friends around the table. But one person was missing. She looked at Alexey with a curious frown, and mouthed 'Greta?' He smiled at her, and she noticed Carl and Alfredo look straight down at their plates.

After much conversation, Will got up, lifting Olivia from the high chair and nodding at Katie and Rex.

"Time to get you kids ready for outside, huh?"

Their screams of excitement were loud. Very loud. They looked so cute in their little Christmas pyjamas as they ran off, babbling excitedly. Alexey looked uncomfortable, as he rose from the table.

"Nicholas, would you join me in the smoking room for a moment?"

Elin looked at the two men with worry for a moment. Alexey only ever smoked when he was stressed. What was going on?

Mrs Wilson came in to clear the dishes and Elin strained her ears. She could hear the low tone of her uncle's voice. She could smell his Cuban cigar. She felt her heart pound. Marianne moved to her side.

"Elin, your aunt has gone to do a little... Charity work today. She should be back around dinner, it's just..." She looked up at the two men who were scooting up towards them. "She might not be alone."

Carl put his hand over hers. "We only found out last night, Elin. She's invited Nicky's family." He frowned, noticing how cold she had gotten. How unresponsive she had become as she stared at her teacup.

Marianne continued. "We couldn't in good faith keep it from you. Or Nicholas. It wouldn't be right. Now, I know it might be awkward. But we are all here together, and we'll support you. Both. And his sister, if his mother is as much a viper as Greta says she can be. But she's a mom, and we only want the best for our kids." Marianne rubbed her back, calming her.

Elin started to weep. "I can't believe I didn't think to invite his sister... I'm so selfish..."

Alfredo stood up, almost knocking his chair over. "No! Don't you say such things, you silly rabbit!"

"Why couldn't she tell me..."

Carl rubbed her hand. "Baby, she thought it would be a nice surprise for Nicky. But when she told us, we knew you had to at least know. She's trying to do a nice thing. But we know it will be difficult, but only at first. You can do this."

Alfredo leaned down on the table. "You have come through worse. And so has he. And think of how good it will be for his sister."

Elinor stood up then, pulling herself away from the others. "I know... I know. I just wish I hadn't forgotten... But what if she doesn't like me... Or if I only serve to remind her of what happened... I have no right to be upset over it, worse came to her... I can't..." She shook her head and on shaking legs fled from the room. She went through the kitchens, grabbing a thick outdoor coat and burst through the back door. She ran across the ground, the snow crunching under her boots until she reached the stables, letting herself in and leaning against the door. The stable hand nodded at her just before he made his way to the house. She walked past the two horses stabled there until she reached the kennels.

She opened the little gate and the three dogs sprung out, smelling very fresh. She smiled, knowing the stable hand had just groomed them. The Irish wolfhound, Finn, hung back a little as the black spaniel, the puppy, climbed all over Elin. She sank to her knees as he scrambled over her legs.

"Down, Lady!"

The big, golden retriever licked her head. Alexey had given her Ben the winter after she had returned from Russia. She started to relax, stroking their heads. Finn nudged her hand with his nose and she rubbed his neck, sighing contentedly. She heard a bark from outside. The new dog, the one Mrs Wilson had emailed her about. What was it? Oh yes, Pirs. A husky. And when the door to the kennel open, he walked in at the flank of Nicholas. The puppy bounded over and barked at his snowy shoes.

Elinor looked up, smiling worriedly. "I didn't know she'd invited them..." Tears pricked at her eyes. Finn stood at her side, his guard stance.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Alexey led Nicholas into the smoking room and closed the doors as the noise and bustle of the kids abated. He glanced back to see a worried look spread over Elin's face. Uh-oh. She knew her uncle better than Nicholas did. Something was up. Had he been too frivolous when he'd used the charge card before his paycheck came in? But Alexey's body language and demeanor told Nicholas that he wasn't angry.

Alexey grabbed a cuban cigar and offered one to Nicholas who politely declined. "Please sit down, Nikolai." He seemed nervous all of a sudden. Nicholas sat down as Alexey started talking.

"As you know Nikolai, Greta has really thrown herself into her new charity. She's rallied many of Boston's richer families for her new cause, and the response has been no less than overwhelmin, I'm happy to say. The work is progressing nicely and they've already secured houses to be converted into help centers and shelters." Despite his nervousness, Alexey couldn't help but smile. He was proud of his wife and the results she produced.

"Now, one of the families that rallied to her cause was the O'Haras." Nicholas' stomach sank. This had to do with Erin. Or his mother. Or both. "Your mother and Greta have become friends of sorts and, well, this was meant to be a surprise to you Nikolai, but wiser heads prevailed. You deserve to know beforehand that your sister, your mother and her husband will be joining us for christmas. Today."

Nicholas was speechless, his mouth agape. Erin. Mom. Here. For christmas. So the Mironov's were the "rich important people" that'd invited them! It was like something out of a fairy tale. He laughed. He'd be celebrating christmas with Erin AND Elinor! But then there was his mom. They'd have to talk things out. His stomach knotted at the thought. There was nothing for it. Thanks to Greta's machinations he'd have to confront his mother quicker than he'd liked. But oh, he'd get to celebrate christmas with Erin again!

There were tears in his eyes as he stood up and shook Alexey's hand. "Thank you Alexey, I appreciate the heads up." Meeting Erin and mom suddenly would have sucker punched the christmas spirit out of him.

He exited the smoking room. He needed to tell Elin. He was afraid of her being surprised by this. What if seeing Erin reminded her of what might have been if he hadn't rescued her? God she needed to- "Nicholas!"

Marianne approached him. "We've just told Elinor about your mom and sister. I think she needs a friendly face right about now. Go to her. Boss." She pointed at where Elin had gone and Nicholas took off, throwing a "thank you" over his shoulder at her. She looked distinctly uncomfortable, wringing her hands and eyes cast down.

Nicholas met Mrs Wilson in the kitchen. "Elin?" he asked her and she just pointed to the door. Her tracks were clear as day on the fresh snow. She'd been running, it seemed. The tracks led to a kennel and he stopped as he saw her surrounded by the wolfhound, the retriever and the little spaniel. There was a husky keeping a distance from the group, and Nicholas made eye contact with it as he approached the kennel.

It came up to him as he entered the kennel, and the little excited spaniel puppy frolicked towards him and greeted him loudly. But he had his eyes on Elin. She seemed upset.

"I didn't know she'd invited them..."

The truth was in her tearful eyes. "I know you didn't Elin. And I'm not upset, it's just... I'm just glad Alexey told me as Marianne and the guys must have told you. If it'd been a surprise I don't know how I'd react. As it is, I have time to adjust. But still... christmas with my sister again!" His voice broke and the husky looked up at him and tentatively wagged its tail.

 

[prettyserpentine]

She knew by the sound of his voice that the thought of spending Christmas with his sister was overwhelming and she stood up, moving towards him. The puppy was underfoot, whining and catching around her feet and she tripped...

Landing right in his arms. His arms that were always there. She encircled his waist with her arms and held him tightly. She was glad she had on the outdoor coat, even if it did smell like horses. It meant he couldn't feel her pounding heart, hammering against her ribcage. She whispered against him.

"I'm sorry, I should have thought to ask her... I can't believe I didn't...." She buried her head against his chest. "I'm scared to meet her, I really am. She's come through so much more... I feel stupid for finding everything that has happened so hard when she has been treated so much worse..." She shuddered. "I'm sorry."

The wolfhound uttered a small, old commanding sound and nudged his head against Elinor's thigh as it passed by, leading the dogs out into the winter snow.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

He caught her and helped her up as she held him. She was so close now, so very close. His heart threatened to burst out of his chest. But she seemed almost afraid. When she admitted to being afraid of meeting Erin he gently cupped her chin.

"One thing I've learned when dealing with traumatised people, Elin. No-one experiences and reacts to the same thing the same way. Your reaction is just as valid as anyone else's. My sister's had ten years to cope, and she still have bad days after what happened to her." He paused, then:

Now, I need to tell you something that might upset you. I've been visiting my sister a couple of times. I- I've told about everything that's happened to me after my last tour in Iraq. And I do mean EVERYTHING. She knows about David and what he almost did to you. I thought that if anyone would understand and sympathise, it'd be her."

She looked at him, tears filling her eyes and her lips starting to quake.

"Why didn't you tell me? You can always tell me... Anything."

He looked at her, love bursting out from his heart then. "Because I had to deal on my own first. Ever since I rescued you I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions myself. Being treated with respected and dignity, having a good income and not having to worry where my next meal would come from and what it would be. The memory of my sister and what happened to her. Getting new friends. Getting to know you." His voice softened at that. "And other emotions" he almost whispered now, leaning towards her, his lips slightly parted to embrace her inviting tearful face...

Then suddenly: "NICHOLAS AND ELINOR, SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE AND THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ELLIE WITH A BABY CARR- AIEEEE!!!

Caught between anger and mirth at the rude interruption from Katie and Rex, Nicholas chased them and threw loose snowballs at the little scamps.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Her heart was in her throat, her chest felt like it was fit to explode. Her breath hitched in her throat, this was the moment. This was the moment he was going to kiss her. As his fingers gently touched her face, and his lips parted, she closed her eyes, holding her breath, leaning against him, her hands like little birds resting on his chest, her lips parted...

And then the kids... With possibly the most monumental mood-killer of all time. They all ran out of the stables and Elinor laughed and yelled, throwing snowballs and having ones thrown back at her. She ducked into the house, grabbing her own heavy winter coat, gloves and her hat and scarf. The red had even had a silly looking wool bauble on top. She ran back outside, and Alexey was pulling four wooden toboggans behind him.

"The last one to the top of the hill is a rotten egg!"

Everyone set off running. Alfredo won, proclaiming his victory proudly as he took one of the toboggans, sitting in it and waiting on Carl. Will took another, with Katie. Alexey and Rex took another.

"You kids be careful now!" Marianne shouted from one of the conservatories. Olivia squealed as if in agreement from her mother's arms.

Nicholas beat Elin up the hillside, and she stood by his toboggan when she reached the top. "I don't have a partner..."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

"Oh yes you do!"

He invited her to sit on the toboggan and sat behind her as they inched toward the slope. He'd reached around her and held the steering reins of the toboggan in his hands while she clung to the seat.

She was expectantly nervous, small squeals of exhiliration emanaing from her as each nudge of the toboggan brought them closer to the slope. And then gravity took hold and they slid down, screaming in delight as the speed increased and the cold air bit into their cheeks.

Gone were any worries of mom and Erin. All that occupied his thoughts now was the warm bundle of woman sitting so close to him and the pure adrenaline of rushing down a hill on a toboggan. He let himself go then, memories of his childhood rearing its benign head. He roared with laughter and tried some fancy maneuvering. With predictable results.

He made one steep turn too many and the toboggan tipped over, expending its human cargo into a large snowdrift. They emerged, sputtering and laughing. She looked at him with mock fury and threw a snowball at him: "Showoff!"

 

[prettyserpentine]

She scrambled out of the snowdrift, sliding a little and landing by his side. She lay on her back, her hat down over her eyes. Her mouth was spread in a jovial laugh.

Nicholas pulled her hat back off her eyes and she looked at him, then something above them caught her eye. The tall trees hung overhead, and off one of the branches hung a large bunch of mistletoe. She bit her lip, her cheeks reddening.

With cold? Or something else...

She leaned on to her side, and pointed up. "It looks like I owe you a kiss..."

She leaned against him, and waited until he had closed his eyes. Her lips lighted slightly on the corner of his mouth and then her gloved hand lifted to his face... dumping snow on top of his head!

Bursting into laughter, Elinor grabbed the toboggan and started to run up the hill again.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

"YOU!"

He was on his feet and after her like a shot. She was light on her feet despite her pulling the toboggan. She squealed with terror and delight as he closed in on her. He was almost within reach of her when she let go of the toboggan, tripping him up. She ran a few paces as he tripped and rolled through the snow.

She stopped to catch her breath, laughing between gasps of air. "Are you okay?"

He lay perfectly still, unhurt. She approached him cautiously, sensing a trap. "Nicholas?"

He lunged at her and pulled her down. He rolled around in the snow with her as they both laughed and thrashed about. Then they stopped, side by side.

They looked in each other's eyes and drew their heads together as their lips melted in a warm and tender kiss. Nicholas lost himself in the intimacy of the moment. He placed a hand on her and gently caressed her as he continued kissing her with his eyes closed.

In the distance, Carl tugged at Alfredo's coat as he squealed with excitement, pointing at the kissing couple. Marianne and Will exchanged smiles and diverted their kids attention elsewhere. Alexey caught sight of them and beamed with pleasure.

Nicholas and Elin continued kissing.