Stupefying collarme sub profile

[rosco rathbone]

She also demanded references from "your local scene/munch/bdsm community". Is that commonly done, now-a-days?

 

[catalina_francisco]

She also demanded references from "your local scene/munch/bdsm community". Is that commonly done, now-a-days?

Have seen it a few times of late from both Dominants and submissives which is a bit difficult if a person just lives their lifestyle and doesn't partake in the social greet, meet and often 'look at me' scene. Also seems to signify perhaps a little uncertainty in their own ability to decide if someone is OK or not.

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

Okay, here is the text without the link to the profile. She actually sent me a nice reply thanking me for the message I sent but that she is looking for someone closer to home. I do live in the deepest, darkest part of the congo down here as far as bdsm goes.

I just hate it when people assume that my age means I'm stupid or gullible. I may be new to the area, but I've been around the scene long enough to tell if you're blowing smoke up my skirt (if you need an explanation for that reference, you don't have the intellect I'm seeking in a Master). In case you're wondering, I'm a bit precocious. Consider yourself forewarned.

I'm not interested in teaching you about the lifestyle, so be experienced.

I'm not interested in a poly relationship (though I enjoy the occasional play partner), so be monogamous.

I'm not interested in some futile effort at making fantasy into a reality, so be real.

I'm not interested in playing outside of a relationship, so be looking for a (eventual) 24/7 power exchange.

I'm not interested in moving to you, or even submitting to you, within minutes of talking online.

I'm not interested in calling you "Sir" or "Lord" or "Master" unless I've decided that you are.

I'm not interested in you calling me "little one" or "dear" or "sweetie" unless you've decided you want me to belittle you in return.

I'm not interested in switching or dominating, so don't even ask.

I'm not interested in deciphering email from those who can't spell (use spell check for goodness sake) or write a legible sentence.

I'm not interested in anyone that's married or attached in any way.

I'm not interested in speaking with anyone who cannot provide references from their real time munches, groups, communities, etc. (you may as well include them in your first email, cause I'm gonna ask for them anyway).

That's only a partial list of what I'm not interested in, so don't be surprised if you discover that I'm not interested for other reasons.

Having said all that, I AM interested in finding an intelligent, attractive, reality based Master (age negotiable) whom I can respect and admire (and admires and respects me in return), for a long term relationship. Are you out there?

~jenna~

PS - Please do not whine, cry or complain if I'm unable to respond quickly enough to your email, or at all. The volume of mail is overwhelming, and I don't consider whining, crying and complaining to be desirable Dominant traits.

 

[shy slave]

Just curious, did you tell her you planned to copy/paste her profile onto this site?

It seems to be if she wanted to be here, she would be.

 

[Betticus]

Just curious, did you tell her you planned to copy/paste her profile onto this site?

It seems to be if she wanted to be here, she would be.

Did you really expect a serious answer to this question? You do enjoy taking a shot at me when you get the chance.

 

[A Desert Rose]

There are those who do and those who wish they could.

She sounds like someone who, if she hasn't already, wants to do it and do it right. I've never been interested in reading profiles from other forums, pasted here and I've never read one, until today. But I applaud her for knowing what she wants and being smart enough to try and weed out the wannabe-Doms, right off the bat.

Like she said, being submissive doesn't mean she's stupid. She's not interested in fantasy, dreams or hoping for something. She wants the real thing and she's going to find it, I'm quite sure of that. And speaking as someone who does do it, I wish her all the best... whoever she is.

 

[Marquis]

She sounds like a bitch.

Does she live in Florida, I'll show her what-for.

 

[the captians wench]

I don't know, seemed a bit negitive and demanding to me too. *shrugs*

 

[A Desert Rose]

She sounds like a bitch.

Does she live in Florida, I'll show her what-for.

Yes, I'm sure you would. That's your style.

 

[Marquis]

Yes, I'm sure you would. That's your style.

It's what I do.

 

[Marquis]

Does that make me one of the people who do?

 

[brioche]

Yes, I'm sure you would. That's your style.

you know, just for variety, you could try putting your tongue in your other cheek.

 

[A Desert Rose]

you know, just for variety, you could try putting your tongue in your other cheek.

So, I'm not entitled to have an opinion or post one? And that's according to you? Or who?

 

[A Desert Rose]

I don't know, seemed a bit negitive and demanding to me too. *shrugs*

Maybe in your submissive handbook she doesn't need to be selective. Mine doesn't read that way. We just have a differing view, I guess.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't know, seemed a bit negitive and demanding to me too. *shrugs*

Oh I don't know....sounds like a BITCH to me which was defined to me long ago as a 'Babe In Total Control of Herself' which IMHO is a good place to start as a submissive seeking a Dominant. While I was searching, I was very definite about what I did and didn't want, and stated it clearly....and interestingly got a lot of positive feedback from Dominants of significant experience who found it refreshing. I figured if I wanted a lasting relationship, and I knew what I wanted, why not say that and spare myself and everyone the waste of time in connecting with people who were perhaps fine, but just not who I was looking for.

Until you are a submissive in a relationship to which you have totally and unconditionally submitted, I can't see a problem with being upfront about what type Dominant and relationship you seek, but then I also don't have a lot of time and patience for the promoted image of submissive = someone who is weak, indecisive, brain dead and needs someone to tell them what they can and can't do just to survive because they can't do it themselves. I like strength in submission and Dominance, not to mention freedom to choose who you will give your submission to.

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

Oh I don't know....sounds like a BITCH to me which was defined to me long ago as a 'Babe In Total Control of Herself' which IMHO is a good place to start as a submissive seeking a Dominant. While I was searching, I was very definite about what I did and didn't want, and stated it clearly....and interestingly got a lot of positive feedback from Dominants of significant experience who found it refreshing. I figured if I wanted a lasting relationship, and I knew what I wanted, why not say that and spare myself and everyone the waste of time in connecting with people who were perhaps fine, but just not who I was looking for.

Until you are a submissive in a relationship to which you have totally and unconditionally submitted, I can't see a problem with being upfront about what type Dominant and relationship you seek, but then I also don't have a lot of time and patience for the promoted image of submissive = someone who is weak, indecisive, brain dead and needs someone to tell them what they can and can't do just to survive because they can't do it themselves. I like strength in submission and Dominance, not to mention freedom to choose who you will give your submission to.

Catalina

She did send me a very polite message though. Most don't even bother to reply. So while I was initially put off by the tone of her profile she is probably very nice. Of course the message I sent to her was pretty nice too. So maybe she's just frustrated with all of the guys messaging her that are living in some kind of fantasy land.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I have to agree with the other posters here. I didn't read negativity into her profile. I think she's probably a very strong woman who knows exactly what she wants and doesn't want. When I had a profile in the past, I was pretty specific about what I wanted - oh, I worded it a little more in the positive rather than the negative, stating exactly what I was looking for. And I did get a lot of responses.

 

[AAkasha]

Okay, here is the text without the link to the profile. She actually sent me a nice reply thanking me for the message I sent but that she is looking for someone closer to home. I do live in the deepest, darkest part of the congo down here as far as bdsm goes.

So you insult her profile on here, then proceed to contact her and express disappointment that you cannot hook up with her because of where you live?

It sounds like one of those guys that insults the hot young thing in the room because he is attracted to her but knows he doesn't fit her criteria. You obviously had an interest because you contacted her, but at the same time had to ridicule her here to protect your ego because you knew rejection would be coming your way.

What a catch!

Akasha

 

[BeachGurl2]

Now I'm going to jump in with both feet. Just don't flay me too hard.

Betticus, I can understand how you would read "bitch" into her profile. I can even understand why you would bring it here - someone else recently did that and she didn't get the flack you're getting. And she even posted the guy's picture. But I'll bet that her profile weeds out the weaker wannabe Doms, which I would imagine is her point. I would think a strong Dom who is confident in himself would be very intrigued by her profile. He would see that she has probably met up with some rather weak Doms with too much ego to give her what she needs. At least, knowing how I have worded, and would again, my own profile, I would hope that's what would happen. And I'm betting that she finds exactly the person she's looking for after she weeds out the ones who call her a bitch.

 

[DVS]

...but then I also don't have a lot of time and patience for the promoted image of submissive = someone who is weak, indecisive, brain dead and needs someone to tell them what they can and can't do just to survive because they can't do it themselves.

This isn't the image a true Dom sees as his submissive. At least I don't see it that way. Persoanlly, I don't want to be in control of a total whimp that will just lay there and allow me to push her around, doing whatever I want because she is suppose to allow it. A lot of people don't remember, or never knew that the sub is the one allowing the Dom to use her.

I think thre is a group our there that believes in the Dom taking charge from the beginning and the sub submits to whatever, without knowing from the beginning what the Dom will do. That's just ignorance in how things are...on both the so called Dom and the sub's part. That's where your whimpy sub image comes from.

I like strength in submission and Dominance, not to mention freedom to choose who you will give your submission to.

Catalina

Now, that is my choice, too, but some so called subs take it too far and reject anything except what they think they want. This is all a give and take and if you won't give a little in your expectations, you aren't likely to find someone that fits into your cookie cutter mold. And if you do, that Dom isn't someone with a mind of his own but just somebody going through the motions to get his rocks off.

 

[catalina_francisco]

She did send me a very polite message though. Most don't even bother to reply. So while I was initially put off by the tone of her profile she is probably very nice. Of course the message I sent to her was pretty nice too. So maybe she's just frustrated with all of the guys messaging her that are living in some kind of fantasy land.

Doesn't surprise me...I used to always send a polite reply one way or another because I was secure in knowing what I wanted and needed and didn't see why that should eradicate manners from my life.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

I personally think that if more people knew what they want (like she does) their'd be lot less unhappy relationships. When I was dating, and I wasn't even into bdsm then, I have VERY specific rules about who I would date. I did not stray outside those rules, ever. If you don't know what you're looking for then you have no one to blame but yourself if you end up with what you don't want.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Now, that is my choice, too, but some so called subs take it too far and reject anything except what they think they want. This is all a give and take and if you won't give a little in your expectations, you aren't likely to find someone that fits into your cookie cutter mold. And if you do, that Dom isn't someone with a mind of his own but just somebody going through the motions to get his rocks off.

Well see, I see it a little different, though I also don't like the profiles who have a list which states it will not ever be changed and that they better get used to it attitude. I had a few so called Dominants who responded badly when I politely told them I was not looking for what they had to offer, and wished them well in their search. I did mention in my profile I wanted my limits pushed and I wanted a challenge throughout the whole life adventure, but that didn't translate into I want any bum who calls himself a Dom so he can show me what I really want, but some felt that I was not able to decide for myself. Needless to say they missed out and F got my attention real quick simply because he wasn't into games, he also knew what he wanted, and he was confident enough in his ability to dominate and remain true to himself that I just couldn't ignore it.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I personally think that if more people knew what they want (like she does) their'd be lot less unhappy relationships. When I was dating, and I wasn't even into bdsm then, I have VERY specific rules about who I would date. I did not stray outside those rules, ever. If you don't know what you're looking for then you have no one to blame but yourself if you end up with what you don't want.

I whole heartedly agree. When I first started meeting Dominants, my work colleagues thought I was just looking at vanilla type men but were horrified that I would go for coffee or dinner and if I didn't click with them or found them to not be who I thought possible to have a relationship with, I would politely decline any further dates. Their idea was I should give them at least 6 dates before telling them that I wasn't interested any further just so I didn't hurt their feelings. Of course, these same women were mostly unhappy in their own relationships and admitted they were in them mostly because after dating awhile, they felt uncomfortable trying to move on so 'adapted' to make it work....which it didn't.

Catalina

 

[DVS]

The text from her profile sounds familiar to me, for some reason. Maybe I've seen it. BUt I don't take it as her being bitchy so much as maybe she's received a lot of wannabe messages and is just cutting to the chase of what she wants by stating what she doesn't want.

With most people, me included, it's easier to write out what you don't like than it is to write out what you like. Sure, you need to mention something about what you are truly looking for, if you want that group to be writing back to you. But, I see this as someone who is kind of fed up with the replies she's received so far, and is trying to set a standard.

Now, I don't think that stadard will do her a lot of good, though. From what I've head, these wannabes will write to anybody with tits and a pussy, usually before they even read the profile. I think she will soon be even more disenchanted than she is now.

This makes the true Dom's search so much more difficult. Women like this get so many messages, and the read each one, hoping that will be "the one" only ti find another idiot saying the same old shit as the last one.

I didn't see the picture, and I don't know her age. I do think it's easier for a submissive to start out young than it is for a Dom to. When young, a lot of males just want sex. A lot of them aren't that particular how or when. I wasn't that way, but I also didn't get a lot of sex back then, because of it. I didn't fit the stereotype, but I still paid the price.

I was already into the BDSM mindset at a very young age, and my problem was finding someone who wouldn't laugh at my desire to spank them. Now, I'm very aware of the males who seem like they just never grew up and are still looking for sex, and are still not that particular about it.

somebody said the ratio of truthful seekers is small comparted to the wannabes on collarme. That's probably true and a lot of that is because it's free. These guys think they are actually making headway with the ladies, I guess, or maybe they just send out message upon message thinking the shotgun search method will work. That only creates profiles like the one here.