Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[HopefulRetirement]

I planned for every possible retirement outcome.

 

[EctoJohn]

Sometimes my penis does things without asking.

 

[Taegul]

I can't fall asleep at night unless I've watched the Twilight Trilogy first. Every single damn night.

Team Edward, fatherfuckers!

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I am the kindest, most gentle, vanilla sex loving person you will ever meet...

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a full automaton.

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

I am the kindest, most gentle, vanilla sex loving person you will ever meet...

I fucking knew it.

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

I loved Roger Moore as James Bond

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

I lost my cherry on Lit

 

[StaciRay79]

I loved Roger Moore as James Bond

Pierce Brosnon was better

 

[EctoJohn]

I have memorized all the lyrics to every Styx song ever.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I lost my cherry on Lit

I'm impressed. Most guys simply lose their minds.

 

[fearless1969]

I can easily dunk a basketball

 

[EctoJohn]

I have written plural operas.

 

[Fivemagicbeans]

I’m wide awake and ready for absolutely anything right now…

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I am a sweet, ray of sunshine that sees the world through rose tinted glasses.

 

[Taegul]

I actually invented the original pickleball, back when the ball was actually made of pickle. I always hated pickles and was constantly looking for ways to smash the shit out of them.

Fuck pickles!
Not literally.
Unless that's your thing.
I didn't mean to pickle shame you.
Sorry. Im gonna get back to my game of onionball now...

 

[EctoJohn]

I have the current hot dog eating record at the Los Angeles County State Fare.

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

Pierce Brosnon was better

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y...ZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/bm02BE6DQ4Oag8GXep/giphy.gif

 

[EctoJohn]

I'm perfectly fine.

 

[Graybear1826]

I enjoy cranky old men on these threads.