Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[enQji]

In a past life I had sex in the Alexandria Library.

We didn't have webcams back then, but there is a heiroglyphic of it

 

[EctoJohn]

I have a PhD in whoop-ass and I'm all out of bubble gum.

 

[LeSabreur]

I had to stop teaching at the Sorbonne because Madame la Professeure Dubois complained about all the students visiting my office. I told her that I had enough love for everyone, but jealousy overcame her, poor woman.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have an addiction to cuteness.

 

[enQji]

I was abducted by aliens. They sent me back after i kept insising on more butt probes.

Oh wait, these are supposed to be lies...my bad

 

[SusanHoward]

Starred in my elementary school production of Eyes Wide Shut.

 

[PotNoodle79]

I'm dead interesting.

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a computer exert currently designing a new tier of graphics cards.

 

[gisade]

I hate gelato

 

[EctoJohn]

My feet have a genetic defect where their sweat produces an odor similar to vanilla and cinnamon.

 

[Taegul]

Many people say I have "Popeye forearms". It's probably from all the mastur...err....spinach. It's probably from all the spinach I eat.

 

[SusanHoward]

I have never worn white after Labor Day (except lingerie).

 

[CurvyButterfly1978]

I am quite shy and cameraphobic...too bad!

 

[Fivemagicbeans]

Feeling really miserable this morning

 

[EctoJohn]

My house is entirely furnished with furniture made from Lego.

 

[aiyia]

I'm a rabbit

 

[EctoJohn]

I drive taxis for a living.

 

[LeSabreur]

Most of the girls who work in my club are cousins of mine.

Not sisters...no, that's too close...but cousins...yeah, cousins.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have a collection of M&Ms that I've been keeping aside since 1998.
One every New Years day.

 

[LeSabreur]

I worked in a brothel for two summers during grad school in Paris.

 

[EctoJohn]

I once spoke to an extraterrestrial, and they found me hilarious.

 

[LeSabreur]

See, the ET folks were discussing culture with @EctoJohn, but me? All I got was rectal probing.

 

[Taegul]

I was voted sexiest man on the Lit Playground 8 weeks in a row. Of course, the voting was done each week at 1 AM on Monday morning when I was literally the only one logged in, but I fail to see how that has any relevance.

 

[EctoJohn]

I am an expert laser technician.

 

[Abeona1]

I really am going to cum off literotica.com for a month. I really really will.