The beauty of submissive men

[stargazer214]

........

 

[Veroe]

Thanks for getting on this thread! . Can't wait to get all caught up on it.

You're welcome.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hey Honey. Anything more you found inspiring?

As someone who has no practical knowledge I've always found the posts or descriptions that give me glimpses of a domme's or sub's mindset as they do what they do the most inspiring to me.

Well, my 'experience' is only online, but I've been having some good discussions lately. Did you have any questions in particular?

I went stalking Erochic's writings recently and was pleasantly surprised to note how much of it really resonated with where I am now. Especially her commitment to doing her kink her way, instead of trying to live up to some porn-driven standard that wasn't an accurate representation of what appealed to her.

I am totally feeling that 'Don't tell me how to Domme' vibe.

 

[Veroe]

Well, my 'experience' is only online, but I've been having some good discussions lately. Did you have any questions in particular?

I went stalking Erochic's writings recently and was pleasantly surprised to note how much of it really resonated with where I am now. Especially her commitment to doing her kink her way, instead of trying to live up to some porn-driven standard that wasn't an accurate representation of what appealed to her.

I am totally feeling that 'Don't tell me how to Domme' vibe.

I miss Erochic. I hope she is well out there in RL.

That's what I liked about her, and this thread when she was active here. We tended to get to the heart of femdom and male submission without the stereotypical bullshit.

 

[Veroe]

OK, Honey, here's a question.

As a woman who Dommes her way, what outfit would you choose to wear in a "session" with your submissive. Would it be something more in line with the stereotype (Corset, thigh-high boots, catsuits...etc...etc.) or something more mundane but still gives you the empowering sense of being the dominant with your submissive here?

 

[eroticspank]

Well, my 'experience' is only online, but I've been having some good discussions lately. Did you have any questions in particular?

I went stalking Erochic's writings recently and was pleasantly surprised to note how much of it really resonated with where I am now. Especially her commitment to doing her kink her way, instead of trying to live up to some porn-driven standard that wasn't an accurate representation of what appealed to her.

I am totally feeling that 'Don't tell me how to Domme' vibe.

It is great to see this thread woke up again!

I completely agree with the "Don't tell me how to Domme" vibe. To me it is artistic license. I am very much into cooking so many of my analogies fall into that category. It is very similar to me telling you what kind of food, spices, or cuisine that I like. I can share my interests with you BUT how you put them together is all part of you and your personality. To take that away would be taking away part of you. So when you Domme, I want it to be ALL you and the things you like that you bring to a scene. That is how I get to know you more and fall for you more...

ES

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

OK, Honey, here's a question.

As a woman who Dommes her way, what outfit would you choose to wear in a "session" with your submissive. Would it be something more in line with the stereotype (Corset, thigh-high boots, catsuits...etc...etc.) or something more mundane but still gives you the empowering sense of being the dominant with your submissive here?

Something flattering and comfortable that makes me feel sexy. I have a long neck and nice shoulders but i don't like my legs, so a strapless maxi dress checks all my boxes. My clothing style is traditionally feminine and my style of dominating is very sensual, hands-on, up close and personal. I want to use my body, my voice, my brain to control, not a toy that keeps me three feet away from my man. Boots are fine, but i would be more likely to wear sexy sandals that I can kick off so that i can rub my skin against him. I could stand astride him in pvc and stripper heels, or I could do it in bare feet that I nestle under his armpits, and lift the hem of my dress over his head so that he sees that I've forgotten my knickers and smells that I've been thinking of him all day.

I do like corsets and boots and maybe a lacy body stocking instead of a catsuit, but I like to play with the unexpectedness of a Domme who perhaps 'looks' more like the stereotype of a sub. It's fun to use people's inclination to judge a book by it's cover to surprise them.

 

[Veroe]

Something flattering and comfortable that makes me feel sexy. I have a long neck and nice shoulders but i don't like my legs, so a strapless maxi dress checks all my boxes. My clothing style is traditionally feminine and my style of dominating is very sensual, hands-on, up close and personal. I want to use my body, my voice, my brain to control, not a toy that keeps me three feet away from my man. Boots are fine, but i would be more likely to wear sexy sandals that I can kick off so that i can rub my skin against him. I could stand astride him in pvc and stripper heels, or I could do it in bare feet that I nestle under his armpits, and lift the hem of my dress over his head so that he sees that I've forgotten my knickers and smells that I've been thinking of him all day.

I do like corsets and boots and maybe a lacy body stocking instead of a catsuit, but I like to play with the unexpectedness of a Domme who perhaps 'looks' more like the stereotype of a sub. It's fun to use people's inclination to judge a book by it's cover to surprise them.

Love the answer you gave.

Especially the imagery.

Me I've always wondered why dominatrixes in movies and stuff wear all that stereotypical stuff anyway. I mean it looks undeniably sexy on them, but it also looks very uncomfortable to wear. So I'm very curious as to the individual reasons why a domme chooses to wear what she wears.

Also a good question for all the male submissives out there is what effect seeing their dominant ladies in such clothing has upon them?

For me...I think its something along the more casual. I'd want her to be just as dominant and confident and comfortable in that power even as say in an old over-sized Cookie Monster T-shirt as she'd be in a corset and fishnets.

 

[stargazer214]

If I may answer, as a submissive male, the stereotypical visual of a dominatrix in severe looking lingerie is ingrained in our psyche perhaps because that was someone else's vision of a dominatrix. Why does Santa Clause appear the way he does... Because marketing companies designed him to look that way through the years.

Wild Honey said something to be the other day about looking like a soft little bunny but completely dominating some one... Completely throwing them off because you look innocent... That is a powerful your of domination because it's coming from outside what I've "expects".

 

[theCARS1979]

I think Im half submissive

Id love to get spanked, punished, flogged ,and service her and then maybe getting fucked in the ass by a girl with a strap on.

 

[SurrealSal]

Interesting to come across this post right after I wrote a response to another thread. So I'll say this again....

The word femdom when used generically across the net seems to carry a connotation associated with ball busting, sadistic, humiliating, women with little regard for their doormat subs. If that's you then by all means all the power to you. I am not one to judge and I completely understand the appeal of that to some.

For me I would say I love dominant women more than the generic concept of Femdom. A Dominant woman can be in control and yet giving, commanding yet sensual, a disciplinarian yet nurturing. It is in her ability to help nourish and grow her sub in all aspects that her power reigns supreme....for me.
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[Veroe]

Interesting to come across this post right after I wrote a response to another thread. So I'll say this again....

The word femdom when used generically across the net seems to carry a connotation associated with ball busting, sadistic, humiliating, women with little regard for their doormat subs. If that's you then by all means all the power to you. I am not one to judge and I completely understand the appeal of that to some.

For me I would say I love dominant women more than the generic concept of Femdom. A Dominant woman can be in control and yet giving, commanding yet sensual, a disciplinarian yet nurturing. It is in her ability to help nourish and grow her sub in all aspects that her power reigns supreme....for me.
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Nods in agreement.

Word Surreal, word.

 

[eroticspank]

I submit because she wants me to. I see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. The more I submit the more pleased she is and the more I want to submit. It is a relationship and a connection that builds.


ES

 

[SecretSubM88]

Interesting to come across this post right after I wrote a response to another thread. So I'll say this again....

The word femdom when used generically across the net seems to carry a connotation associated with ball busting, sadistic, humiliating, women with little regard for their doormat subs. If that's you then by all means all the power to you. I am not one to judge and I completely understand the appeal of that to some.

For me I would say I love dominant women more than the generic concept of Femdom. A Dominant woman can be in control and yet giving, commanding yet sensual, a disciplinarian yet nurturing. It is in her ability to help nourish and grow her sub in all aspects that her power reigns supreme....for me.
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I could not agree more...

 

[MistressMoira]

Not a fantasy Domme

I'm human, not a fantasy. I wish some guys would get that.

 

[troubledone]

I'm human, not a fantasy. I wish some guys would get that.

Bet you are hot

 

[yukonnights]

I'm human, not a fantasy. I wish some guys would get that.

Well said ~

Domination / submission is primarily a metal experience for both. The various physical acts are mere tools to achieve the mental state. Unfortunately, porn depictions only have the visual tools to work with, so they have to be over-hyped and stretched to the extreme. I'll take a human over fantasy any day!

 

[MsBrittany]

Ive really enjoyed this thread. The varying of opinions and challenges to the otherwise strict traditional views of female Dommes.

 

[eroticspank]

Ive really enjoyed this thread. The varying of opinions and challenges to the otherwise strict traditional views of female Dommes.

I also enjoy this thread. It is certainly good to see there are other men out there that don't have such strict traditional views of female Dommes. We just want you (the Domme) to be yourselves. Take charge in the way that works for you, wear the things that work for you, and do the things that please you. Sure you can look at books, search online, and talk to friends on fun different things to do in the D/s arena. But it will always have your own personalized spin on it if you be yourself. That is what makes you, you; and that is why we are attracted to you. For me it is not about the outfits you wear, the devices you carry, but the personality that comes out from wearing and using those devices, etc.

ES

 

[MsBrittany]

I also enjoy this thread. It is certainly good to see there are other men out there that don't have such strict traditional views of female Dommes. We just want you (the Domme) to be yourselves. Take charge in the way that works for you, wear the things that work for you, and do the things that please you. Sure you can look at books, search online, and talk to friends on fun different things to do in the D/s arena. But it will always have your own personalized spin on it if you be yourself. That is what makes you, you; and that is why we are attracted to you. For me it is not about the outfits you wear, the devices you carry, but the personality that comes out from wearing and using those devices, etc.

ES

It amazing and i think that by us challenging those ideas. Shedding more light into the different aspects of our D/s dynamics it will hopefully show more submissive men that the gift they see as potentially something to hide isnt. Im an oddball im good with it ha ha. My tastes arent of the norm, but there is no greater high than the man who outweighs me by 100lbs frozen by simply my hand. That my hold is that strong. When you reach that point, that trust. In that second there isnt a thing i wouldn't give him because he gave me exacty what i wanted.

 

[eroticspank]

It amazing and i think that by us challenging those ideas. Shedding more light into the different aspects of our D/s dynamics it will hopefully show more submissive men that the gift they see as potentially something to hide isnt. Im an oddball im good with it ha ha. My tastes arent of the norm, but there is no greater high than the man who outweighs me by 100lbs frozen by simply my hand. That my hold is that strong. When you reach that point, that trust. In that second there isnt a thing i wouldn't give him because he gave me exacty what i wanted.

I too am intrigued by the power a woman can wield over a man much stronger and bigger than her. It is like a "Beauty and the Beast" movie. You watch and think this is unrealistic he could easily over power her. But then you see how she mesmerizes him with her touch, her calming words, and her beauty.

As a sub when I am in that position I know I can walk away at any time. I can easily over power my Domme and even force myself upon her. But I find myself curious on what she will do next, if I can stand up to it, if I she will be pleased at what I do. The possibility of sex, great pleasures and pain all at her hand. It presents a challenge I can not resist, I continue on trying to please and be hers. The way she does it gets deep into my mind giving me a satisfaction beyond description.

ES

 

[Veroe]

I'm human, not a fantasy. I wish some guys would get that.

I think that may be true for maledoms too. How many women out there who say they want to be in a bdsm relationship have images of fifty shades in their heads when the reality is so different-not worse-but more real than in those books.

People want the fantasy but have to accept the reality. I think.

But you are right this is something more true for dommes than anything else considering all the stigmas and stereotypes they have to navigate through in a relationship with a submissive.

 

[Veroe]

I too am intrigued by the power a woman can wield over a man much stronger and bigger than her. It is like a "Beauty and the Beast" movie. You watch and think this is unrealistic he could easily over power her. But then you see how she mesmerizes him with her touch, her calming words, and her beauty.

As a sub when I am in that position I know I can walk away at any time. I can easily over power my Domme and even force myself upon her. But I find myself curious on what she will do next, if I can stand up to it, if I she will be pleased at what I do. The possibility of sex, great pleasures and pain all at her hand. It presents a challenge I can not resist, I continue on trying to please and be hers. The way she does it gets deep into my mind giving me a satisfaction beyond description.

ES

That echoes my own tastes in the power dynamic. I'm not really into the degradation or feminization or any of that stuff. (Not saying for those that get aroused from that don't have value-just saying that's not me)

I always thought of a domme as something like an expert racecar driver and the guy is the Ferrari or Bugatti or Lamborghini or any other exquisitely made supercar only she can make reach its maximum potential on the track.

The dynamic between domme and sub I would want is best summed up in one passage in one of my favorite books on the subject.

"Has no woman ever mastered you? Taught you to respond to her slighties touch upon your mouth, guiding your head? Made you give her everything, letting her ride you past the endurance of your great heart? Like a stallion trained to go on until you'd let it explode in your chest rather than fail her."

"That what you're fixing to do love?" He managed hoarsely. "Ride me to the end?"

"No," she said softly. "I want to be certain you'll go that far, if I demand it."

~Joey W. Hill-Vampire's Claim: page 39~​

 

[i_love_myself76]

As a femdom it isnt about pain or punishments. It is about trust and control, atleast for me. I just wish that some guys would get that. I had one sub who turned on me and tried to hurt me because he thought I was only playing at being a dom and I really wanted him to take over. Getting tazzed did wonders for him. And I let all the others in our group to watch themselves.

 

[amylin456]

As a femdom it isnt about pain or punishments. It is about trust and control, atleast for me. I just wish that some guys would get that. I had one sub who turned on me and tried to hurt me because he thought I was only playing at being a dom and I really wanted him to take over. Getting tazzed did wonders for him. And I let all the others in our group to watch themselves.

It is about feeling erotic and experiences those desires that come to the surface with the right person