The Birthday Blonde
- Thread starter lucky-E-leven
- Start date
Dar~
Indefatigable
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- Mar 3, 2005
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http://www.integracare.on.ca/images/bdsmile.jpg
Happy Birthday Vella.
Q: What did the blonde say to the doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: Are you sure its mine?
Q:How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....
Happy Birthday Vella.
Q: What did the blonde say to the doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: Are you sure its mine?
Q:How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....
RebeccaLeah
Path
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2003
- Posts
- 9,922
So lucky.....Is there any way in hell you'd be willing to share the lovely job of birthday spankings? If you bring her here and we'll all get a shot? 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have the most wonderfulest birthday day ever!
Have the most wonderfulest birthday day ever!
Colleen Thomas
Ultrafemme
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2002
- Posts
- 21,545
Hey Vella
Hapy B-day!
What do you get when you have 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in the same room?
...
...
...
100 people who don't do DICK!
Hapy B-day!
What do you get when you have 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in the same room?
...
...
...
100 people who don't do DICK!
Liar
now with 17% more class
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
- Posts
- 43,715
From one blonde to another...
http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/5_1_116[1].gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/15_8_200v[1].gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/00009176.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/jesus.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/birthday.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/adrian_dance.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/cul2.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/dance_2.gif
http://users2.ev1.net/~seawilli/pics/01-04-02/whoopee.gif
luv,
#L
http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/5_1_116[1].gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/15_8_200v[1].gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/00009176.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/jesus.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/birthday.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/adrian_dance.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/cul2.gif http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/dance_2.gif
http://users2.ev1.net/~seawilli/pics/01-04-02/whoopee.gif
luv,
#L
shereads
Sloganless
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2003
- Posts
- 19,242
Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave with both hands.
Q: How did the blonde crash the helicopter?
A: The cockpit was cold so she turned off the ceiling fan.
Q: What do you get a blonde for her birthday?
A: You get her married off to an adorable brunette and wish them all the best in their new digs. Happy birthday and welcome home, Vella.
A: Wave with both hands.
Q: How did the blonde crash the helicopter?
A: The cockpit was cold so she turned off the ceiling fan.
Q: What do you get a blonde for her birthday?
A: You get her married off to an adorable brunette and wish them all the best in their new digs. Happy birthday and welcome home, Vella.
Just-Legal
Goth Flufflet
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2001
- Posts
- 4,075
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VELLA!
(okay, I'm late, I'm sorry :*( )
(okay, I'm late, I'm sorry :*( )
SensualCealy
I do not know what the ..
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2004
- Posts
- 4,528
Okay so its late, what else is new?
A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead were being chased by the Police. They decide the bar ahead is save, they go inside.
The Police follow them in, so the blonde, brunette and redhead each jump into a burlap sack.
The Police go to check the sacks, they kick the first sack, and the brunette barks.
They kick the next sack and the red head meows, they kick the blonde's sack, and she yells " POTATOES!!"
Curtisy of my 14 yr old! lol
Love ya precious!
Hope you had a wonderful 21st birthday with your new family!
C
A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead were being chased by the Police. They decide the bar ahead is save, they go inside.
The Police follow them in, so the blonde, brunette and redhead each jump into a burlap sack.
The Police go to check the sacks, they kick the first sack, and the brunette barks.
They kick the next sack and the red head meows, they kick the blonde's sack, and she yells " POTATOES!!"
Curtisy of my 14 yr old! lol
Love ya precious!
Hope you had a wonderful 21st birthday with your new family!
C
sincerely_helene
Pending Approval.
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2002
- Posts
- 2,951
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Happy b-day, Blondie.
She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Happy b-day, Blondie.
G
Guest
Guest
Hey Vela Im sorry I didnt get here sooner but Darnoel wouldnt let me in here but I snuck past him while he was busy looking at porn and stuff so I wanted to say happy birthday and I was gonna do it in really big letters astuff but I didn't know how so instead Ill tell you a few blonde jokes cause I know a bunch of them cause people tell them to me all the thime but I dont know why.
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. your losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. your losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MAM, THIS IS WINTER IN CONNECTICUT, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK.......
------------------------------
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
-------------------------------
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
------------------------------
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men...
HAPY BIRTHDAY VELA Darnoel just showed me how to make the letters big and he says happy birthday too
Debbie
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. your losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. your losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MAM, THIS IS WINTER IN CONNECTICUT, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK.......
------------------------------
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
-------------------------------
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
------------------------------
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men...
HAPY BIRTHDAY VELA Darnoel just showed me how to make the letters big and he says happy birthday too
Debbie
G
Guest
Guest
just floating through.
what a wonderful thread. thank you to everyone who wished a happy birthday. i laughed at all the blonde jokes...what a hoot!
it was a great day and i enjoyed it completely...who knew getting old could be such fun?!
much love to all
v~
what a wonderful thread. thank you to everyone who wished a happy birthday. i laughed at all the blonde jokes...what a hoot!
it was a great day and i enjoyed it completely...who knew getting old could be such fun?!
much love to all
v~
Lauren Hynde
Hitched
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2002
- Posts
- 21,061
Oh, I'm sorry I missed this. A belated happy birthday to you, Vella. I know it must have been wonderful. 
Liar
now with 17% more class
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
- Posts
- 43,715
Soince I haven' tseen her here sice then, I assume that means she is still uncapable to type...for whatever reason.Lauren Hynde said:Oh, I'm sorry I missed this. A belated happy birthday to you, Vella. I know it must have been wonderful.
