The General Commentary Thread

[Wat_Tyler]

Hey Mr Wat_Tyler, "Bad Wiring" is an exceptional piece of writing. Thank you for posting it.

Awww, thank you very very much. I'm always surprised (seriously) when someone likes what falls out of my brain. I'm glad to have been received here. I reckon I'll keep coming back.

 

[42Below]

I was, yesterday, wanting to metaphor a smile as a hundred-Watt light bulb, and got stuck wondering if that makes any sense in this new era of LEDs.

lol not only are LEDS replacing lightbulbs, but Lighthouses are obsolete
Although a little clunky it would seem the poem still holds a secret

 

[Angeline]

lol not only are LEDS replacing lightbulbs, but Lighthouses are obsolete
Although a little clunky it would seem the poem still holds its secrets

It's a powerful poem and a great example of what erotic poetry can be imo. For all the (really like gazillion) graphic poems classified as erotic here, great metaphors and sustained images almost always work better.

I did wonder though about the use of "taunt" and whether you had meant "taur," but then I realized it works either way and maybe making that reference vague is intentional. Or not...I have an overactive imagination.

 

[42Below]

It's a powerful poem and a great example of what erotic poetry can be imo. For all the (really like gazillion) graphic poems classified as erotic here, great metaphors and sustained images almost always work better.

I did wonder though about the use of "taunt" and whether you had meant "taur," but then I realized it works either way and maybe making that reference vague is intentional. Or not...I have an overactive imagination.

lol I had to look taur up!

 

[Angeline]

lol I had to look taur up!

OMG sorry! I meant "taut"! I usually check my posts but I got a phone call and y'know...mea culpa.

ETA: I had to look taur up too. And I suppose it could also work in that line. Taunt, taut, taur...what the heck. Who knew?

 

[Chantalbliss]

Lovely dear Snow. Keep being you

 

[OttawaGuy50s]

Bathroom Mirror

I saw him again today,
beard was more white than grey
and even his eyebrows were starting
to blanch away,
paler and paler;

His eyes met mine, like always,
bagged and sort of glazed
like sinuses were troublin him
or he was simply on the edge of
being overwhelmed by the emotions
of being himself;

I wanted to ask why he kept
showing up like he did, no warning,
nothing common courtesy would require
but he never said anything, just moved his
lips and mocked my speakin to him;

Which was a pity, since I couldn't very well
not take the risk of seein him,
not if I wanted a decent shave
or to make sure I'd parted my hair properly;

If only I knew where he'd come from,
and how much longer he was planning on
appearing to me.

Belated wk 4

Great insight there my friend!

 

[Ambient4190]

Great insight there my friend!

agreed!

Bathroom Mirror by Remec so vivid, raw

 

[Wat_Tyler]

If you haven't read @puddle_girl , WTF are you waiting for???

 

[Ambient4190]

If you haven't read @puddle_girl , WTF are you waiting for???

Lol! Wat - this is the Poetry Forum! TIME moves differently here - patience, patience Poems are so personal! Probably a gazillion books out there on 'How to Read Poetry'......

love your passion

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Lol! Wat - this is the Poetry Forum! TIME moves differently here - patience, patience Poems are so personal! Probably a gazillion books out there on 'How to Read Poetry'......

love your passion

And then one day we wake up and we're dead. And it's her passion to which I refer. Me? I'm just kinda pushy.

 

[Angeline]

If you haven't read @puddle_girl , WTF are you waiting for???

I'll second that recommendation. Her gift for poetry in all but jumping off the screen and grabbing me by the throat! Such strong, vivid writing. Wow!

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I'll second that recommendation. Her gift for poetry in all but jumping off the screen and grabbing me by the throat! Such strong, vivid writing. Wow!

She has want-to. She's working at it. It shows. I wish her the best.

 

[HarryHill]

I'll second that recommendation. Her gift for poetry in all but jumping off the screen and grabbing me by the throat! Such strong, vivid writing. Wow!

It grabbed something, not my throat though.

 

[Angeline]

Thanks to all who've participated in the June challenges. Ambient's poem-a-week challenge has been especially successful and both challenges have yielded some great reading. So yes thank you all and good on you all.

Tomorrow will bring new challenges (well sometime between tomorrow and July 5th will), but don't forget:

~ You can write in any of the old challenge threads if the spirit moves you. There's really no expiration date on any of them.

~ The ongoing challenge threads (Five Senses, Writing Live, Everyday Erotica, etc) are open 24/7, 365, don't take a number, no waiting!

~ You can always start your own challenge thread or create a thread for your poems anytime. Just do it!

 

[Wonderer67]

Thanks to all who've participated in the June challenges. Ambient's poem-a-week challenge has been especially successful and both challenges have yielded some great reading. So yes thank you all and good on you all.

I was so looking forward to it, but only got two poems in. Life took over. And…I had no inspiration…

 

[Angeline]

I was so looking forward to it, but only got two poems in. Life took over. And…I had no inspiration…

It happens. Life gets in the way and the muse goes on vacation. You'll make time when you can and you're ready to write.

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, thank you MomTabu for picking up the B Challenge for July. Thanks to you and 42Below we have two excellent prompts this month.

 

[melimelissa]

Online Love,

She grunted out her last orgasm,
Lying on her tummy, hand between her legs.
She arched her back and turned her head toward the phone.
The sight of her round ass, backlit by the nightstand lamp,
All I could think was...wow.
Both of us lack intimacy at home, yet fully expose ourselves to each other online.
"You, should get to work," she says.
"You, should probably get out of bed."
She laughs, and at that moment, I want her to be mine.
But, she won't be. It won't last.
Life invades our oasis of raw intimacy and virtual sex.
Soon, it's over. Love bloomed and faded inside a couple months.
LIfe's memories live on. We can remember the bad or, we can see the good.
Regret what never was, or relish in what we had.
I choose relish.
Her laugh, her quirky humor.
Oh, and that sound she made when she came.
Mmmmmm

Grunts empathetically but it comes out more like a giggle-snort

 

[melimelissa]

Grunts empathetically but it comes out more like a giggle-snort

apparently they are not poetry though and have to be general threaded

giggle giggle giggle snort snort snort
snort giggle snort snort snort snort giggle

&c

 

[melimelissa]

OMG sorry! I meant "taut"! I usually check my posts but I got a phone call and y'know...mea culpa.

ETA: I had to look taur up too. And I suppose it could also work in that line. Taunt, taut, taur...what the heck. Who knew?

the Canadians of course

 

[melimelissa]

Generally, I'm moved in the general direction. Thx for the giggle snorts.

you are the welcome one, Sir

 

[melimelissa]

I'm generally filled with a warm general feeling from your generosity.

The pleasure is all mine - now call me a good girl - and unmute - giggles:

https://imgur.com/ZhlObuY

 

[melimelissa]

Are you a good girl? Woof!

Think of me as a cute Capybara buddy - look at my dive!!!

https://imgur.com/jiPOyCZ

(sound on)

 

[HarryHill]

Wow, @Angeline is going to be so sad when she deletes y'all. Rhyme something quick!