The pass around girl

[rida]

I don't know. On the surface it looks like self empowerment, owning her addiction and sticking 2 fingers up to convention. I think though, that there's an air of desperation to it all. She's trying too hard to build a box for herself and sit in it, tag a label (literally) to her ass and then act proud of it.

....

That was my sense too.

I don't have an opinion either way regarding what she is getting tattoed on her body: if she likes them, good for her. And I have no problem either with the fact that she has sex with everybody and even with owning her addiction and be proud of it, if that makes her happy.

But I found the interview sad. As YC said, the interviewer does not seem to take her seriously, and there is a sense of helplessness in her answers and no where a sense that she is enjoying her life. But, again, if that is her thing, good for her.

 

[graceanne]

If she was happy with how she is, I'd say more power to her, but I didn't think she sounded happy. When asked to talk about herself the first thing she brings up (after name and weight) is that she's a sex addict and has been fired from just about every job because of it. She didn't say 'my names britney (etc) and I LOVE SEX!!!!', she instantly stated the problems that comes with her addiction in two paragraphs. Then she goes into MORE detail on the problems that come from her addiction, and how hard it has been for her to find help. I feel sorry for her.

edited to add: That said, I don't care how they'll look on her when she's 80. I don't think that cause a person gets old that suddenly they aren't sexy enough to have tattoo's anymore. Age is a fact of life, not a social stigma.

 

[FurryFury]

i THINK the scars might be from a tummy tuck.. they look like they go all the way around...

Thanks.

That's what I was thinking they might be.

 

[FurryFury]

If she was happy with how she is, I'd say more power to her, but I didn't think she sounded happy. When asked to talk about herself the first thing she brings up (after name and weight) is that she's a sex addict and has been fired from just about every job because of it. She didn't say 'my names britney (etc) and I LOVE SEX!!!!', she instantly stated the problems that comes with her addiction in two paragraphs. Then she goes into MORE detail on the problems that come from her addiction, and how hard it has been for her to find help. I feel sorry for her.

edited to add: That said, I don't care how they'll look on her when she's 80. I don't think that cause a person gets old that suddenly they aren't sexy enough to have tattoo's anymore. Age is a fact of life, not a social stigma.

Well said!

 

[FurryFury]

Now why would she want to do that as long as she can draw attention to herself and then turn around blame all her irresponsibility on her illness?

ETA: This kind of thing is why I decided after getting my bachelor's that I couldn't continue on in the psychological field. Too many people use their "illnesses" as an excuse to treat other people like shit and act out in idiotic ways, and then they turn right around and say, "Oh, poor meeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm not getting the help I soooooooo desperately need." If she'd spent the money she spent on those ugly-ass tattoos getting GOOD treatment, then that article need not ever have been written. And I know that's not going to be a popular opinion, but I've been around too many people who think their "illness" is some kind of crutch. Choice Theory/Reality Therapy, motherfuckers. Learn it, use it, own it.

Great post!

 

[Homburg]

Yes.

If I met an 80 year old woman with "fuck my holes" on her forearm I would think she was the shit.

Totally agree.

As to the rest, this one elicited a "meh" from me. There was some cool in the ink, but otherwise she is just someone living her life and dealing with her problems. The only real comment I can make is that she seems honest with herself about it. That's a plus.

 

[intothewoods]

Wow, she depressed the hell out of me. There's something really desperate and self-hating about her. She tatooed herself with that stuff when she was trying not to cheat, as she put it. Like some sort of punishment. I don't know - she just sounded so sad.

 

[graceanne]

Wow, she depressed the hell out of me. There's something really desperate and self-hating about her. She tatooed herself with that stuff when she was trying not to cheat, as she put it. Like some sort of punishment. I don't know - she just sounded so sad.

It reminded me a lot of self cutting.

 

[Netzach]

I agree to some extent. Overcome it or don't overcome it. That's up to you, as long as it's only yourself that you're hurting. It's just...I don't know. I don't condone the idea of claiming victimization as an excuse and a way to avoid responsibility for your own actions.

If a drunk driver kills someone in a wreck, they're put in jail and demonized in the public opinion. If someone with a sexual addiction leaves a path of destruction in her wake, we say cool? I'm not sure I agree with that.

If I sat down for drinks with a woman and she said "I am a sexual addict, I have had 87 partners in the past month" and I decided to marry her (I'm assuming this became clear fairly early on from the article and its tenor, if not, fairly soon into the rel, probably) I am marrying a saber tooth tiger and I'm an idiot if I think it's going to turn into a bunny.

Maybe a wake of destruction, maybe beloved by someone who thinks they can save, change, or help. This isn't someone who's a secret smoker, shooting up on the sly or whatever. If a drunk driver hits someone who's lying in the middle of the road with black clothes on at night, I'm not sure who's at fault.

 

[BiBunny]

If I sat down for drinks with a woman and she said "I am a sexual addict, I have had 87 partners in the past month" and I decided to marry her (I'm assuming this became clear fairly early on from the article and its tenor, if not, fairly soon into the rel, probably) I am marrying a saber tooth tiger and I'm an idiot if I think it's going to turn into a bunny.

Maybe a wake of destruction, maybe beloved by someone who thinks they can save, change, or help. This isn't someone who's a secret smoker, shooting up on the sly or whatever. If a drunk driver hits someone who's lying in the middle of the road with black clothes on at night, I'm not sure who's at fault.

Yeah, I see what you're saying, and I don't think it's something the wife should be complaining about, either. The ones I wonder about are her "conquests." I'm not holding her breath that she's taking proper precautions with all of them, etc., etc.

It still smacks of "everyone look at me; I'm so fucking pitiful," though. I hate that kind of thing.

 

[Netzach]

It still smacks of "everyone look at me; I'm so fucking pitiful," though. I hate that kind of thing.

She upsets me far less than James Frey. "look at me I'm fucking pitiful" is a bankable industry.

 

[BiBunny]

She upsets me far less than James Frey. "look at me I'm fucking pitiful" is a bankable industry.

Ain't that the truth?

 

[Homburg]

1) She's married to a porn star.
2) She is a sex addict with an indefatigueable sex drive.

Why not put #1 and #2 together and just see about working in the wife's industry? I doubt she'd get fired for fucking on the clock...

 

[Netzach]

1) She's married to a porn star.
2) She is a sex addict with an indefatigueable sex drive.

Why not put #1 and #2 together and just see about working in the wife's industry? I doubt she'd get fired for fucking on the clock...

That all sounded very weird to me, too, but whatevs.

 

[graceanne]

1) She's married to a porn star.
2) She is a sex addict with an indefatigueable sex drive.

Why not put #1 and #2 together and just see about working in the wife's industry? I doubt she'd get fired for fucking on the clock...

I was wondering why she isn't in the porn industry, she's pretty and she has to have sex ever day. And being bi doesn't hurt. Maybe, considering that she has seeked out help for a sexual addiction she doesn't want to make a living from sex. *shrugs*

 

[sexikyttn]

It reminded me a lot of self cutting.

That's precisely where my mind went as well.

 

[satindesire]

The article made me cry. I can only imagine what that life is like. My own shady past kind of gives me a little insight into what thought processes she has, but drugs are a side away from persistent sexual arousal and nymphomania.

What a sad excuse of an existence. She needs a swift kick in the ass, therapy, and meds. Her inability to get self control makes me wonder what sort of state her wife is in, as well.

 

[Primalex]

If she'd spent the money she spent on those ugly-ass tattoos getting GOOD treatment, then that article need not ever have been written.

So, which facility out there treats female sex addicts?

 

[BiBunny]

So, which facility out there treats female sex addicts?

Did I say she needed in-patient care? It's possible a damn good psychiatrist who specializes in addictions could help if she actually wanted to change. From all indications, though...nope.

 

[Primalex]

Did I say she needed in-patient care? It's possible a damn good psychiatrist who specializes in addictions could help if she actually wanted to change. From all indications, though...nope.

Silly me. I didn't think of looking under "Good Psychiatrists" instead of "Bad Psychiatrists" in the Yellow Pages. Sorry.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I don't know. On the surface it looks like self empowerment, owning her addiction and sticking 2 fingers up to convention. I think though, that there's an air of desperation to it all. She's trying too hard to build a box for herself and sit in it, tag a label (literally) to her ass and then act proud of it.

That was my take as well. She has this sort of 'victim' thing going for her. I don't applaud her, I think what she's doing is pretty pitiful. I can understand where Netz is going with her thoughts on it, and I can respect that, but frankly I think this girl has the narcissistic victim thing down pat.

I am left to wonder, though, is the problem truly an impulse control one (which is where the sex addict thing may come in) or is she narcissistic to the point that she really just plain doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything but herself and her own pleasure. Both are equally destructive but only one has much chance of being 'fixed', for lack of a better word. My take is that she is narcissistic to the point of destruction, but hey, I'm no psychologist.

 

[BiBunny]

Silly me. I didn't think of looking under "Good Psychiatrists" instead of "Bad Psychiatrists" in the Yellow Pages. Sorry.

If you give a shit about your mental health, you'll do your research and shop around until you find someone who does help. Yes, I know there are terrible mental health professionals out there. There are probably more bad ones than good ones.

But there are also such things as recommendations from friends or "regular" doctors, doing your own research, and actually deciding that you want to change. And if you don't want to do those things, you can always attention whore your ass off and try to get people to feel sorry for you.

That was my take as well. She has this sort of 'victim' thing going for her. I don't applaud her, I think what she's doing is pretty pitiful. I can understand where Netz is going with her thoughts on it, and I can respect that, but frankly I think this girl has the narcissistic victim thing down pat.

Yep. I agree. "Everybody look at me; I'm so fucking pitiful."

 

[Primalex]

If you give a shit about your mental health, you'll do your research and shop around until you find someone who does help.

She did exactly this. And failed. The facilities didn't want to treat women - which makes sense. If I would treat male sex addicts I wouldn't want a female sex addict around there either.

By the way - it's very brave that you assume this problem can be cured by a psychiatrist. Do you believe bisexuality can be cured by one, too?

 

[Tuomas]

Mleh, saw this a while ago. I'm surprised she's not a poster-girl for feminist sexual liberty After all, her tats -and the article- aren't about her personal preferences, but "showing the world" what she's about. Much as I would admire someone for having the courage to put risqué tattoos on themselves, I certainly admire BiBunny more for speaking against the "hot chick"... "easy lay", I guess would be more accurate, and why guys are drooling over her

But I wouldn't want to lose my job for sleeping with everyone, it make me wonder if I was a lousy shag and thats why I got the sack!

Lol! Mleh, I should update the fucking policy in my workplace...

I don't know. On the surface it looks like self empowerment, owning her addiction and sticking 2 fingers up to convention. I think though, that there's an air of desperation to it all. She's trying too hard to build a box for herself and sit in it, tag a label (literally) to her ass and then act proud of it.

People with genuine sex addictions rarely have satisfying encounters with strangers, it just adds to their ongoing frustration for the most part, fuelling the desire for more empty, disappointing casual encounters.

She may think that she's taking positive action but I think this is the kind of thing that just looks like a solution and actually distracts her from getting help and dealing with her core issues and the problem at source.

Naturally, I reserve the right to be way off base.

*copies for future refrence*
Thank you.

 

[intothewoods]

She did exactly this. And failed. The facilities didn't want to treat women - which makes sense. If I would treat male sex addicts I wouldn't want a female sex addict around there either.

By the way - it's very brave that you assume this problem can be cured by a psychiatrist. Do you believe bisexuality can be cured by one, too?

Sex addiction and bisexuality are apples and oranges. Sex addicts get little enjoyment from the actual sex. If she's happy as a clam fucking people, then she's not a sex addict. I really don't think sex addiction explains everything for this girl.

And I also don't buy that she really researched finding treatment. I've seen plenty of stories of female sex addicts. So she must not have looked very hard.

It reminded me a lot of self cutting.

That's exactly what I thought!