The Small Business Owners Thread

[oralaccents]

A place for small business owners to trade tips and ideas.

 

[Que]

Luk would like to know how to approach his mom about a plan for succession. Will she turn over the business she built to her druggie son, or give it to a trusted employee?

 

[oralaccents]

I'm always looking for ways to make more money with less work.

 

[spacekowboy]

Learn how to relax your throat like your mom does. That's the secret to her success.

 

[Luk]

Luk would like to know how to approach his mom about a plan for succession. Will she turn over the business she built to her druggie son, or give it to a trusted employee?

How is possible that you're even more jealous of me now than ever before, Tweak?

 

[HisArpy]

Best tip:

Have a CPA who understands taxes and 401K's do your books.

Sometimes it's better to take fewer business expense deductions and then defer the taxes via a 401K contribution.

Your eventual SS benefits will be calculated using the higher taxable AGI amount on your 1040 while your current taxes (other than your self employment tax) won't go up if you match the reduced business expenses with the 401K contribution.

You can offset the higher self employment tax with a slightly bigger 401K contribution and reduce your Fed taxes by the SE tax amount.

Your business can also contribute to your 401K plan as "matching employer funds". This allows you to double the yearly contribution limit.

A CPA who understands how this works is essential.

 

[Que]

How is possible that you're even more jealous of me now than ever before, Tweak?

How is it that your grandiosity and self-delusion is even stronger once your little pink underbelly has been exposed?

 

[CandiCame]

Best tip:

Have a CPA who understands taxes and 401K's do your books.

Sometimes it's better to take fewer business expense deductions and then defer the taxes via a 401K contribution.

Your eventual SS benefits will be calculated using the higher taxable AGI amount on your 1040 while your current taxes (other than your self employment tax) won't go up if you match the reduced business expenses with the 401K contribution.

You can offset the higher self employment tax with a slightly bigger 401K contribution.

Your business can also contribute to your 401K plan as "matching employer funds". This allows you to double the yearly contribution limit.

A CPA who understands how this works is essential.

Don't listen to a poster who doesn't know the difference between a schedule C and a 1040.

This post is a clusterfuck. 401Ks are deductible per fiscal year, but then when you withdraw, or if you have to withdraw early you have to pay taxes on both the investment AND the earnings so this is an absolute shit thing for small business owners to do. The reason this is good for employees is because most employers will match contributions, which is free money.

What you want, if you're a small business owner, is some kind of IRA. I'd have to look at it to tell you what kind, but like... yeah, if you're Harpy get an accountant. The AGI on self-employment tax isn't higher than the AGI on payroll tax, unless you're a fucking idiot who doesn't track losses and expenses so like...

Idk man, this post was just a clusterfuck beginning to end.

Fun fact: My "small business" side hustle is I do accounting from home.

Also... it's NEVER better to take fewer business deductions and that has jack and shit to do with your 401K. A 401K is an individual retirement account. It has literally nothing to do with your expense write-offs. The two are completely different. You can't take the money you would have saved on deductions and put it in a 401K unless you actually take the deductions. I don't even know what you were trying to say here.

Harpy's one of those guys who comes into my office with a shoebox full of receipts and hand-written bullshittery and tells me to "work my magic".

The core concept here is good advice though, and one thing I'll add is that if your accountant asks a question in such a way that they OBVIOUSLY want a certain answer, give them the answer they want.

If I ask, for example, "So do you have a dedicated area in your house where you perform this work?" In a tone and cadence that suggests I want you to say "Yes." Then say "YES". We're trying to fucking help you. If you say yes then I can count a portion of your rent/mortgage and utilities as business expenses. If you REFUSE to say "yes" to me, then I legally can't do that.

And for the love of FUCK let me talk to the IRS. Repeat this phrase, "I don't know anything about that, you'll have to talk to my accountant." Repeat it in front of a mirror. Memorize that. Because if you start shit, I ain't going to jail for you, but if you just let me handle it I can handle it.

My second piece of advice is to be good at what you do. Because even if people don't know your name they'll go into your office and say, "I want that little black haired boy."

The secretary will say, "He doesn't work here anymore."

And the customer will say, "Well, where's he at? Because that's who I want."

And then, if you're the one who went out to smoke with the secretary and listened to her drone on and on about reality TV, she'll remember that you were nice to her and say, "Well now you didn't hear it from me, but I think he still does that from his house and it's actually cheaper than we do it here. Let me holler at him on discord."

Be nice to people, and be good at what you do. People will remember it. There's that old saying, "People won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how it made them feel." That's kinda true. They don't remember what you said, only that you were right, and they remember that they liked you.

 

[HisArpy]

Don't listen to a poster who doesn't know the difference between a schedule C and a 1040.

This post is a clusterfuck. 401Ks are deductible per fiscal year, but then when you withdraw, or if you have to withdraw early you have to pay taxes on both the investment AND the earnings so this is an absolute shit thing for small business owners to do. The reason this is good for employees is because most employers will match contributions, which is free money.

What you want, if you're a small business owner, is some kind of IRA. I'd have to look at it to tell you what kind, but like... yeah, if you're Harpy get an accountant. The AGI on self-employment tax isn't higher than the AGI on payroll tax, unless you're a fucking idiot who doesn't track losses and expenses so like...

Idk man, this post was just a clusterfuck beginning to end.

Fun fact: My "small business" side hustle is I do accounting from home.

Also... it's NEVER better to take fewer business deductions and that has jack and shit to do with your 401K. A 401K is an individual retirement account. It has literally nothing to do with your expense write-offs. The two are completely different. You can't take the money you would have saved on deductions and put it in a 401K unless you actually take the deductions. I don't even know what you were trying to say here.

Harpy's one of those guys who comes into my office with a shoebox full of receipts and hand-written bullshittery and tells me to "work my magic".

The core concept here is good advice though, and one thing I'll add is that if your accountant asks a question in such a way that they OBVIOUSLY want a certain answer, give them the answer they want.

If I ask, for example, "So do you have a dedicated area in your house where you perform this work?" In a tone and cadence that suggests I want you to say "Yes." Then say "YES". We're trying to fucking help you. If you say yes then I can count a portion of your rent/mortgage and utilities as business expenses. If you REFUSE to say "yes" to me, then I legally can't do that.

And for the love of FUCK let me talk to the IRS. Repeat this phrase, "I don't know anything about that, you'll have to talk to my accountant." Repeat it in front of a mirror. Memorize that. Because if you start shit, I ain't going to jail for you, but if you just let me handle it I can handle it.

My second piece of advice is to be good at what you do. Because even if people don't know your name they'll go into your office and say, "I want that little black haired boy."

The secretary will say, "He doesn't work here anymore."

And the customer will say, "Well, where's he at? Because that's who I want."

And then, if you're the one who went out to smoke with the secretary and listened to her drone on and on about reality TV, she'll remember that you were nice to her and say, "Well now you didn't hear it from me, but I think he still does that from his house and it's actually cheaper than we do it here. Let me holler at him on discord."

Be nice to people, and be good at what you do. People will remember it. There's that old saying, "People won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how it made them feel." That's kinda true. They don't remember what you said, only that you were right, and they remember that they liked you.

SS retirement benefits are calculated by using the income amount on line 6 of page #2 on the new 1040 form (line 37 on the old 1040). That number is the bottom line net profit from your Sched C. Your taxable income is the amount you get from line 6 minus any Sched 1 deduction(s) and enter on line 7. Guess where you deduct any 401K contributions? Yep, Schedule 1.

Any 401K contribution (as is any contribution to any qualified IRA plan) is TAX DEFERRED until you draw from it after retirement and then you ONLY pay taxes on the amount you withdraw. Thus you pay no tax NOW on the money you contribute. That's the point of the 401K plan(s).

Self employed business people are BOTH employers and employees. As such, you in your capacity as "employer" can match any contributions you make as "employee".

MY POINT HERE is that if you want to get the most SS benefits, you need higher income numbers during your earning years. By reducing your deductions for business expenses and contributing instead to a retirement plan rather than taking the full expense you get those higher earnings numbers without paying higher taxes.

This is something they do not teach most accountants. You absolutely NEED to talk to a CPA who understands taxes and retirement planning.

From there:

If you withdraw from your 401K before you're 59, you'll also pay a penalty in addition to the tax on the amount you withdraw. So don't. Period. Borrow the money if you have to but do not touch your retirement savings until you retire.

This ONLY works if you are earning more than you need to survive financially because you cannot spend the income you tax deferred. If your monthly living expenses equal (or exceed) your net earnings from self employment, you got other problems.

 

[Luk]

How is it that your grandiosity and self-delusion is even stronger once your little pink underbelly has been exposed?

How is it possible that you're the only one to believe obvious? Blinded by love, I suppose.

 

[doowdniw]

401ks can be good for employees whether or not they're matched. If you can max it out every year, you will have a nice chunk of change come retirement, whether or not it is employer matched. Deferred taxes can be a good thing.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

My retirement plan is a white collar federal crime around the age of 70 or 75 depending on how I'm getting around.
3 hots and a cot at club fed for free is about as good as it gets. Sorta tempted to do it early but I'd like to travel some more first. Bang a few more chicks. Bucket list stuff. Then off some job I'll keep for about a week while I embezzle the shit out of them, spend all the money and then confess.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

401ks can be good for employees whether or not they're matched. If you can max it out every year, you will have a nice chunk of change come retirement, whether or not it is employer matched. Deferred taxes can be a good thing.

If the employer doesn't match then what's the point? Just do an IRA.

 

[HisArpy]

401ks can be good for employees whether or not they're matched. If you can max it out every year, you will have a nice chunk of change come retirement, whether or not it is employer matched. Deferred taxes can be a good thing.

Even if you can't max out your contributions, any income from those investments are in addition to any SocSec benefits you get.

BTW, having a retirement plan doesn't mean you shouldn't also be saving your ass off too.

$10/week X 52 weeks = $520 x 30 years = $15,600 not including interest. Even 2% per year from a CD over those 30 years can change that number in a huge way. And, if your savings is after tax, you owe nothing on the principle. If you put the money into a T-Bill mutual fund (currently returning around 2-3%/yr) you won't owe taxes on the interest either. Reinvest, reinvest, reinvest.

(I dropped into excel for a second. $520/yr @2% over 30 years with straight interest and reinvesting is $21,517. That's just $10 PER WEEK.)

 

[Liar]

Don't listen to a poster who doesn't know the difference between a schedule C and a 1040.

Those could be brands of engine oil for all I know.

But then again, I don't do bidniz in 'merica anymore, and when I did, I didn't do the eldritch black magic that is paperwork.

 

[HisArpy]

If the employer doesn't match then what's the point? Just do an IRA.

Because in those years where you earn enough from your business that you CAN match, you can't if you go the IRA route.

There is no penalty is choosing a 401K over any traditional Roth IRA. The benefit is that you can match when you have the extra income as your business grows.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

Because in those years where you earn enough from your business that you CAN match, you can't if you go the IRA route.

There is no penalty is choosing a 401K over any traditional Roth IRA. The benefit is that you can match when you have the extra income as your business grows.

Dude. You should probably stop.

 

[HisArpy]

Dude. You should probably stop.

It's advice on the internet. Take it at your own risk.

MY advice is to go talk to a CPA who understands taxes and retirement planning. If you don't, that's not my fault.

 

[Luk]

It's advice on the internet. Take it at your own risk.

MY advice is to go talk to a CPA who understands taxes and retirement planning. If you don't, that's not my fault.

Hey! You finally figured out what the rest of us already knew - you're full of shit.

 

[CandiCame]

SS retirement benefits are calculated by using the income amount on line 6 of page #2 on the new 1040 form (line 37 on the old 1040). That number is the bottom line net profit from your Sched C. Your taxable income is the amount you get from line 6 minus any Sched 1 deduction(s) and enter on line 7. Guess where you deduct any 401K contributions? Yep, Schedule 1.

Any 401K contribution (as is any contribution to any qualified IRA plan) is TAX DEFERRED until you draw from it after retirement and then you ONLY pay taxes on the amount you withdraw. Thus you pay no tax NOW on the money you contribute. That's the point of the 401K plan(s).

Self employed business people are BOTH employers and employees. As such, you in your capacity as "employer" can match any contributions you make as "employee".

MY POINT HERE is that if you want to get the most SS benefits, you need higher income numbers during your earning years. By reducing your deductions for business expenses and contributing instead to a retirement plan rather than taking the full expense you get those higher earnings numbers without paying higher taxes.

This is something they do not teach most accountants. You absolutely NEED to talk to a CPA who understands taxes and retirement planning.

From there:

If you withdraw from your 401K before you're 59, you'll also pay a penalty in addition to the tax on the amount you withdraw. So don't. Period. Borrow the money if you have to but do not touch your retirement savings until you retire.

This ONLY works if you are earning more than you need to survive financially because you cannot spend the income you tax deferred. If your monthly living expenses equal (or exceed) your net earnings from self employment, you got other problems.

Harpy you REALLY need an accountant. Like... bad. Jesus Christ. This a word salad. I do this for a living.

I don't know when the last time you did taxes was but good lord that whole paragraph was literally a word salad. There's no truth in it.

You pay taxes on 401 contributions upon withdraw. You just told a lie. To me. The dude you KNOW does this for a living. So that's a weird thing for you to do. You absolutely pay taxes on contributions. Try not doing it and see how willing the IRS is to fuck around with that shit.

You sure can. If you're a dumbass.

SS is based on the five highest earning years on your overall lifetime earning potential. So again, this is bullshit. Take your expenses. Take your deductions. SS is a pre-tax thing anyway, not a post-tax thing. It's based on EARNED income, not TOTAL income. You... you need an accountant.

Most accountants ARE certified. Again, word salad. I don't think you can even do business taxes if you aren't certified. You need your certification ID to file business taxes. I mean, you could do it under the table but if the IRS comes a knockin you won't be on the account and can't do anything. So this would be a dumbass move.

There are a plethora of reasons to withdraw early from a 401 K. Jesus fucking Christ.

Actually, again, you're a dumbass and the GOAL is to keep your earned income high and your taxable income low. If I had you as a customer and you came in spouting this bullshit as if you knew what you were talking about, I wouldn't do it. I'd let you do it yourself. And I'd let you think you were right, because letting people fuck up their taxes is an accountant's way of telling you to go fuck yourself.

So here's another piece of advice. Don't piss off your accountant with bullshit.

401ks can be good for employees whether or not they're matched. If you can max it out every year, you will have a nice chunk of change come retirement, whether or not it is employer matched. Deferred taxes can be a good thing.

They absolutely can, but for small business in particular they're not usually the way to go because you'll earn more from an IRA for a plethora of reasons, and if you ever have to draw out early you won't be penalized. 401Ks are great, they just have their place and it's absolutely ideal if you're an employee of a large business, but I don't recommend them for small businesses except in very specific circumstances.

If the employer doesn't match then what's the point? Just do an IRA.

This is more or less true, but there are certain circumstances where 401Ks are better, like if you don't have another specific medical savings and you need to get your teeth fixed or something you can sometimes borrow against a 401K, like there are banks that will do that. Finance is very specialized so the reason I keep saying, "I'd have to look at it" is because no one thing is true for every individual person's situation. There are very specific situations where a 401K might still be better, it's just rare.

Dude. You should probably stop.

This is the best advice Harpy's gonna get, but he ain't gonna follow it. He's gonna keep spouting bullshit thinking it'll trip me up, the whole time being under the impression that we're arguing or fighting instead of just realizing that I do this in the real world and he's just making himself look like a dumbass, and then once I get bored and quit responding he'll say he won the argument he made up.

I see people like him, and honestly all you can do is tell them you "aren't accepting new clients at the moment" and sit back and watch them burn.

 

[CandiCame]

Oh, also, I reread what Harpy wrote and realized that even by his own logic he assumed that the person filing taxes ONLY received one income from one side business which is like... just another clue to me that he has never actually met a human person and is really like three lizards in a human suit.

Like literally that assumes that there's somebody out there in the world who isn't filing jointly who makes a living off their etsy or youtube or whatever.

Jesus.

 

[Que]

I have no idea about any of the above but in general I would go with candy because he actually has looked at these kind of returns.

Still, there are a lot of ways to shuffle the deck. My musings about it are probably overly complicated. I 10 to Save-A-Lot and I wondered about the feasibility of both having an IRA and forming an entity to employ me and "match" my funds...

Sure, all that money is taxable later, but I like giving the bastards at the IRS money later if at all possible. Even if it doesn't necessarily in the long run. Likely at my current income I would be much better off just paying the taxes now and then putting it into a what Roth? It's been years since I've read anything.

Whatever works for the mining company we had a 401k and I was able to borrow against my 401k and pay myself back at something like 45% interest. The various things I've got coming up I would like to get some money socked away where the IRS likely isn't going to touch it and I could perhaps borrow against it for the things that are coming up I don't know if that's feasible if you're basically a one-man band..

Also under what circumstances can you withdraw from an IRA without penalty. If I could for example soccer bunch of money into an IRA and then withdraw it without penalty but I would guess pay taxes on it in order to purchase a home for example anything to use as a vehicle that I can get the money back out temporarily as needed.

I used to do something goofy when I was younger and used to play around with this stuff I have multiple IRAs at various Banks all with a couple of thousand in each of them and so anytime I needed a couple of thousand I could grab that and not have to put it in one of the other IRAs for 60 days.

It was a lot of trouble for not much gain but I just like the idea of feeling like I got away with something.

 

[oralaccents]

Accounting arguments and mommy fantasies.

Good stuff.

 

[CandiCame]

I have no idea about any of the above but in general I would go with candy because he actually has looked at these kind of returns.

Still, there are a lot of ways to shuffle the deck. My musings about it are probably overly complicated. I 10 to Save-A-Lot and I wondered about the feasibility of both having an IRA and forming an entity to employ me and "match" my funds...

Sure, all that money is taxable later, but I like giving the bastards at the IRS money later if at all possible. Even if it doesn't necessarily in the long run. Likely at my current income I would be much better off just paying the taxes now and then putting it into a what Roth? It's been years since I've read anything.

Whatever works for the mining company we had a 401k and I was able to borrow against my 401k and pay myself back at something like 45% interest. The various things I've got coming up I would like to get some money socked away where the IRS likely isn't going to touch it and I could perhaps borrow against it for the things that are coming up I don't know if that's feasible if you're basically a one-man band..

Also under what circumstances can you withdraw from an IRA without penalty. If I could for example soccer bunch of money into an IRA and then withdraw it without penalty but I would guess pay taxes on it in order to purchase a home for example anything to use as a vehicle that I can get the money back out temporarily as needed.

I used to do something goofy when I was younger and used to play around with this stuff I have multiple IRAs at various Banks all with a couple of thousand in each of them and so anytime I needed a couple of thousand I could grab that and not have to put it in one of the other IRAs for 60 days.

It was a lot of trouble for not much gain but I just like the idea of feeling like I got away with something.

If you're matching your own contributions there's literally like... no point. It's not bad or good, it's just pointless. I mean, not for a small business. If you're incorporated there kind of is but for this thread it's literally just an extra form you're paying me for.

There's a lot of no-penalty investment saving accounts so this is another thing where I'd have to look at it, but there are a bunch of them. They tend to pay lower because they're more conservative, but not all of them. It's so hard to give any kind of advice if you're not actually looking at it.

Look, real talk, let's do a basic breakdown of personal finance because Harpy has made me think that some people genuinely need it.

I'll tell you how I handle my personal shit.

Income streams:
Day Job
Quarterly Investment earnings
Side Hustle 1 - Accounting
Side Hustle 2 - Textile Art
Side Hustle 3 - Digital Art
Side Hustle 4 - Paid Writing Gigs
Side Hustle 5 - Social Media

So what you want to do is open a bunch of checking accounts, one for each small business, one for investment payoffs, one for your everyday shit, and then one for each of your lovers that you're splitting finances with, so if you're not polyamourous this'll just be one, for me it's two, but I don't live with my bf so he's really the only one who puts money in it.

That seems like a lot, but it makes it so much easier.

Then you're going to want to open a few savings accounts. You're going to want no-penalty accounts for the following things:

1: Your kids - One account for each, with their name on it. Take them to the bank and let them open it with you; it's fucking adorable. They sign their little name and they get a sucker and it's so goddamn cute. But they can't touch that money until they're 18. But they know it's there.

2: A car. This is funds for a new car, and also repairs. Your car is gonna fuck up.

3: Medical expenses (this is a whole big thing, for real see an accountant about this)

4: Vacations/Big Shit You Want - For me this is vacations because some of my gf's family still lives in Jamaica and some of my family still lives in North Carolina, and if we're going to either of those places it's a vacation. We gotta drive through Dollywood to get to my aunt's house so why the fuck wouldn't we just go to Dollywood? But for you this could be land acquisition or whatever you want.

5: Emergency fund - Idk man, shit happens. Unpredictable shit happens. I recently broke my neck and had to take off work because shit happens.

6: A house if you don't have one. I built my house out of random shit so I didn't need this, and I also already owned the land because my mamaw gave it to me when she died, but that's some privileged bullshit that not everybody has.

Then, open up a retirement account, the reason I say this doesn't need to be a no-penalty account is because some of y'all will spend this shit if you know there's no reason not to. It's one thing to spend your Dollywood money on stupid shit but you need this to live. This is the equivalency of freezing your credit card in ice.

Figure out how much money you want going into each account and don't get greedy. Be realistic. This is the hardest shit for people to do. People will not be real with themselves. If you're gonna spend $200 on weed, allot it for weed. Don't pretend like you're going to put it in your emergency fund.

See what your expenses are. Make a fucking budget. For the love of god, just make a budget. It takes five minutes and there are apps that do it.

To make a budget, take a month of your life and just write down what you spend on shit. Take your receipts, put them in a notebook, a spreadsheet, or an app, and figure out how much you REALISTICALLY spend on shit. Don't bullshit yourself. 90% of me talking to clients is trying to get them not to bullshit themselves. If you're broke, you're broke. If you spend $1000 on Burger King, you spend $1000 on Burger King. Why is this such a goddamn issue for people? Be honest Jesus Fuck.

Now look at your budget and look at your CONSISTENT stream of income, that is, the income NOT from your side hustles, your small businesses. Don't quit your fucking day job. Not until you're making about twice via the side hustles what you're making at the day job. But look at the income you've got coming in from your worky job. Does it cover your expenses? Yes? Then you're good. No? Then settle the fuck in.

Every day for the next five months, keep detailed records of any money coming in from your side hustles, and any money going out. Get into that habit because that'll make shit easier for me. But please for the love of god do it consistently for at least 5 months, preferably 6, before you come into my office. Because there's extrapolating from incomplete data and then there's "work your math magic" and one of these things is something that a human person can do, and the other is something I have literally pulled out tarot cards over to make a fucking point.

Once you have a good idea of your income and expenses, bring them to me and I'll average them out for you so we have a basis to work from. Then I'll tell you what percentage of your leftover income, after all expenses, to put into which savings accounts. You can try to do this yourself, but if you do, treat it like a DnD stat sheet. You're the character, and you decide what you want to be good at, what's important to you. Again, be honest. If it's more important to you to spoil your hot young boyfriend than it is to put money back in case your car breaks, be honest about that. I might've done the books for somebody like that.

Once you've got that straightened out, leave it the fuck alone. Don't have me calling banks setting auto withdraws/transfers and then go in and change it and not tell me. Here's the end goal of all this.

You want to have at least three months, preferably six months of expenses in the emergency account. You want at least $5000 in the car account. You want an unlimited amount in the kids' account, and you'll transfer that over to a student checking account once they hit 18, but don't take anything out before that, that's what the emergency fund is for. You want an unlimited amount in the medical account because that shit is expensive and you never know what's gonna fuck up. You want enough in your dual-account with your live-in lover to cover the bills, and enough in the personal account to cover your budget that you figured out. Anything left after that, put into the retirement account. But again, when you're making the budget be HONEST so you don't put money you were gonna spend into the retirement account.

FOR YOUR BUSINESSES DO NOT SPEND MONEY OUT OF THE PERSONAL ACCOUNT BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE A BITCH WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU. Seriously that is so goddamn annoying. Transfer the money into the business account from the personal account and then spend it so that when I access that account it's all lined up for me. For the love of fuck, do this as a personal favor to ME. You don't know how many people won't fucking do this. And I don't know why. It's two goddamn clicks. It's ONE goddamn click if you use the same bank for both accounts. Seriously, this will make your accountant so fucking pissed. If you don't do this we gotta match dates and go down multiple accounts and it is SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

If you don't know what account to spend from, message me. If you're traveling for work and you don't know whether or not Arby's is a business expense, hit me up. I'll tell you.

Sorry that just aggravates the fuck out of me. Just use the fucking business account. If it's a cash based business, then when you make a transaction, take out your phone and take a fucking picture of the receipt. For your gas or whatever. I hate those goddamn shoeboxes full of receipts I gotta go through like a goddamn caveman. I'll do it but I will bitch the entire time.

I don't know where the fuck people like Harpy get the idea that having expenses is bad. Having expenses is good. You WANT it to look like your business is failing on paper. Remember in the Producers where they wanted the play to fail because then they didn't have to pay taxes on the investment money? THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S ACTUALLY HOW THAT FUCKING WORKS. THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT THIS AND PEOPLE STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. LOSING MONEY ON A BUSINESS IS GOOD FOR YOUR TAXES. SAY IT FUCKING WITH ME. KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS. KNOW YOUR EXPENSES. WE NEED TO GET YOUR EXPENSES AS HIGH AS WE CAN. IF I ASK YOU IF SOMETHING IS AN EXPENSE, TELL ME YES. I ASKED YOU THAT TO SAVE YOU FUCKING MONEY.

Do you use your car for work? Yes, you fucking do. Do you use your home internet for work? Yes, dumbass, you do. Do you use your cell phone for work? Yes, you fucking do. Do you use your electricity for work? Yes, you do. I am asking you this with this tone and cadence because I want a specific answer. Give me the answer I want and let me worry about the IRS. Don't get scared- you don't even know what you're afraid of. Do this shit above board. Don't hide money from me- just give to me and let me make it work.

I'm trying to think of anything else I need to say. If I think of anything else I'll make another post.

 

[Que]

I like it. Basically envelope accounting.

You would hate me as a client. I lose everything. We would constantly having to reconstruct crap.