The Snowstorm, Part Deux

[Svenskaflicka]

I was up late last night watching TV. Therefor, I slept in. I was awoken brutally at the early morning hours of 11am by a ringing on my doorbell. Still sleepy, I stumble to the door in my underwear and a sweater, open the door, and there outside stands a middle-aged man with a very grumpy look on his face. The following conversation takes place:

Man: "Is that YOUR white car parked out there?"
Me: "Huh?"
Man: "The white SAAB! Is that yours?"
Me: "Uhm, yeah..?"
Man: "You've parked it 1½ meter into MY parking space! There's no room for MY car! You have to move your car AT ONCE!"
Me: "I can't. It's stuck in the pile of snow. I can't go back nor forth. There was a snowstorm last night, you know..?"
Man: "I know that! Then you have to call someone to help you get it out of there! It HAS to be moved!"
Me: Yeah, OK, I'll fix it..."

I get dressed, go out, assess the situation. Well, 1½ meter is a SLIGHT exaggeration - it was more like 50 centimeters. Oh, well. I tried getting the car free yesterday, and it didn't work. Now, with 3 times the more snow, I doubted I could get it loose all by myself with nothing but my will power. I went back inside and called my dad. We discussed what could be done, seeing as the parking lot isn't large enough to drive his truck there and PULL the car loose - and there was no way he could drive his tractor all the way into town, especially considering that the snowstorm still hadn't quieted down yet. He said he'd think a while and asked me to call back in 15 minutes.

I went to buy a snow shovel. Yes, I know, it's hard to believe that a Swedish woman doesn't own a snow shovel, but I've been weakened by city life for the past few years! The shovel cost a fortune, but atleast I had one. I cleared away as much snow as I could, but I couldn't do anything about the ice. The shovel, expensive as it was, was made out of plastic with a steel tip, and I didn't want to break it. The car, ofcourse, still wouldn't move.

I went back inside, and called my parents. Mum told me that dad had gone to town to help me, and sure enough, half an hour later, dad showed up, with a professional steel shovel. He cursed my grumpy neighbour three ways to Sunday when he saw that the fuss was about 50 centimeters of space. The guy had parked his car, there was no problem for other cars to pass behind him, and there was NO WAY that his car was too far away from the engine-heater-machine-pole-thingy. The man was simply complaining because I had invaded his space. Dad also referred to the man as being a certain body part that you usually don't see in civilized company, atleast not without being covered in clothes; since the man had parked his car and then just walked away from it, not caring what happened, as long as he had gotten to Complain. If the guy had been there, and talked to us, we could have asked him to move his car, so that we could drive my car out of there that way, instead of having to back out of the place, backing over all that snow.

Well, after more than an hour, dad managed to get the car loose, and we cleared the space of all the snow and ice and shoveled it away. My car was free! I thanked dad very much, and he drove off - a knight in a shining Volvo.

Passing the parking lot a few hours later, I noticed that The Grumpy Guy still hadn't been there to plug his car into the heater thingy. His car was covered with atleast 20 centimeters of snow. His only agenda that morning was to nag and whine.

Oh, well. I know where he parks. And, I know the number of his car...

 

[kendo1]

I hope you dumped the snow around his car.

 

[TxRad]

Snow???? What's that?????

 

[zeb1094]

I could show you where to key his car so that he wouldn't notice until the spot rusted out and the door fell off!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

We DID throw snow on his car - and when we drove off, a lot of dirty snow sprayed up on his car.

I seriously like the key idea, but I'm thinking of buying one of those little gadgets you stick up his engine fumes pipe, and when he starts his car and presses the gas, it WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S

all the way home...

 

[SeaCat]

I was up late last night watching TV. Therefor, I slept in. I was awoken brutally at the early morning hours of 11am by a ringing on my doorbell. Still sleepy, I stumble to the door in my underwear and a sweater, open the door, and there outside stands a middle-aged man with a very grumpy look on his face. The following conversation takes place:

Man: "Is that YOUR white car parked out there?"
Me: "Huh?"
Man: "The white SAAB! Is that yours?"
Me: "Uhm, yeah..?"
Man: "You've parked it 1½ meter into MY parking space! There's no room for MY car! You have to move your car AT ONCE!"
Me: "I can't. It's stuck in the pile of snow. I can't go back nor forth. There was a snowstorm last night, you know..?"
Man: "I know that! Then you have to call someone to help you get it out of there! It HAS to be moved!"
Me: Yeah, OK, I'll fix it..."

I get dressed, go out, assess the situation. Well, 1½ meter is a SLIGHT exaggeration - it was more like 50 centimeters. Oh, well. I tried getting the car free yesterday, and it didn't work. Now, with 3 times the more snow, I doubted I could get it loose all by myself with nothing but my will power. I went back inside and called my dad. We discussed what could be done, seeing as the parking lot isn't large enough to drive his truck there and PULL the car loose - and there was no way he could drive his tractor all the way into town, especially considering that the snowstorm still hadn't quieted down yet. He said he'd think a while and asked me to call back in 15 minutes.

I went to buy a snow shovel. Yes, I know, it's hard to believe that a Swedish woman doesn't own a snow shovel, but I've been weakened by city life for the past few years! The shovel cost a fortune, but atleast I had one. I cleared away as much snow as I could, but I couldn't do anything about the ice. The shovel, expensive as it was, was made out of plastic with a steel tip, and I didn't want to break it. The car, ofcourse, still wouldn't move.

I went back inside, and called my parents. Mum told me that dad had gone to town to help me, and sure enough, half an hour later, dad showed up, with a professional steel shovel. He cursed my grumpy neighbour three ways to Sunday when he saw that the fuss was about 50 centimeters of space. The guy had parked his car, there was no problem for other cars to pass behind him, and there was NO WAY that his car was too far away from the engine-heater-machine-pole-thingy. The man was simply complaining because I had invaded his space. Dad also referred to the man as being a certain body part that you usually don't see in civilized company, atleast not without being covered in clothes; since the man had parked his car and then just walked away from it, not caring what happened, as long as he had gotten to Complain. If the guy had been there, and talked to us, we could have asked him to move his car, so that we could drive my car out of there that way, instead of having to back out of the place, backing over all that snow.

Well, after more than an hour, dad managed to get the car loose, and we cleared the space of all the snow and ice and shoveled it away. My car was free! I thanked dad very much, and he drove off - a knight in a shining Volvo.

Passing the parking lot a few hours later, I noticed that The Grumpy Guy still hadn't been there to plug his car into the heater thingy. His car was covered with atleast 20 centimeters of snow. His only agenda that morning was to nag and whine.

Oh, well. I know where he parks. And, I know the number of his car...

Svenskaflicka,

I hear you, honestly I do. Some of the most anal people I have ever met about things like that, (outside of Cape Cod Mass.) were some of my neighbors when I lived in Germany. (I lived in a tiny little town called Egelsbach, about halfway between Frankfurt Am Rhein and Darmstadt.)

In 1984 I had come home from work, after borrowing one of the four wheeled drive vehicles from work and picking up my Girlfriend. (Hey it was snowing and we planned a nice day off. ) Arriving home I parked with what I thought was enough clearance between my space and my neighbors, then went inside.

The next morning, promptly at six thirty when he usually arrived home, I was woken from a nice slumber by a loud knock knock knocking on my door. Because the knocking didn't stop even when I tried to ignore it I arose and wrapping the blanket around me wandered downstairs. (Much to my girlfriends annoyance I can assure you.) Opening the door I was faced with my now redfaced and very upset neighbor complaining that I had taken his spot. Looking across the yard I peered at the area and sure enough the poor sod had cleared the snow from the lone parking spot and there staring me in the face was the number for my unit. He insisted that I move my car so he could park in his legaly assigned spot.

Okay, so I wasn't awake yet, I agreed to move the vehicle which was taking up his legaly assigned spot and move it to it's correct parking location. I closed the door in his face and wandered back upstairs, where after looking longingly at my GF laying on the now blanket less bed, I tossed the blanket over her shivering form and dug out the keys. Heading back downstairs I opened the door and wandered over to the car, climbed in, started it and moved it over one spot. (While wondering why my neighbor, his wife and his twenty year old ugly as a cow daughter were staring at me, not too mention why I was freezing my ass off.)

It was only after I had wandered sleepinly and half drunk back to the house that I heard my GF laughing hystericly upstairs where she had watched me through the window. Not only was she laughing her ass off she was calling me all sorts of names in her native language. It took me a minute or three to understand what she was saying, and a minute more before the realisation sank in that I had gone out and moved the car wearing only a pair of mismatched socks.

Cat

(For some strange reason his daughter became mighty friendly with me, and he never did complain about how I parked after that.)

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Svenskaflicka,

It was only after I had wandered sleepinly and half drunk back to the house that I heard my GF laughing hystericly upstairs where she had watched me through the window. Not only was she laughing her ass off she was calling me all sorts of names in her native language. It took me a minute or three to understand what she was saying, and a minute more before the realisation sank in that I had gone out and moved the car wearing only a pair of mismatched socks.

Cat

(For some strange reason his daughter became mighty friendly with me, and he never did complain about how I parked after that.)

Ohmagawd! MISMATCHED socks???? No wonder they stared!

Gotta try that method some time. Preferably in the summer though. In this climate, I'd get a pneumonia by the time I've reached the car.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Ohmagawd! MISMATCHED socks???? No wonder they stared!

Gotta try that method some time. Preferably in the summer though. In this climate, I'd get a pneumonia by the time I've reached the car.

If you're really drunk, it doesn't feel cold at all to be naked in the snow.

Ah, the joys of city living. Once, my neighbor lady left my boyfriend a three page long typed business letter in a plastic cover on his car when he parked in her space. We lived so close, she could've yelled out her open window and we would've heard her and moved the car.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

If you're really drunk, it doesn't feel cold at all to be naked in the snow.

Ah, the joys of city living. Once, my neighbor lady left my boyfriend a three page long typed business letter in a plastic cover on his car when he parked in her space. We lived so close, she could've yelled out her open window and we would've heard her and moved the car.

She had a really big handwriting? She wrote "move your car!" 300 times? Or did she go on a rampage and yell at him for not showing consideration, what is the society coming to, when I was young, etc..?

 

[SeaCat]

Ohmagawd! MISMATCHED socks???? No wonder they stared!

Gotta try that method some time. Preferably in the summer though. In this climate, I'd get a pneumonia by the time I've reached the car.

With the amount of Tequila, (yes I drank it even then, and yes it was difficult to get it in Germany.) in my system, not to mention the mental image of my GF (Six foot tall and redheaded enough to make Loki proud) laying naked in my bed. I am honestly surprised I didn't melt a path to and from the vehicle.

Cat

As for the mismatched socks, I claim not being awake as my defence.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

With the amount of Tequila, (yes I drank it even then, and yes it was difficult to get it in Germany.) in my system, not to mention the mental image of my GF (Six foot tall and redheaded enough to make Loki proud) laying naked in my bed. I am honestly surprised I didn't melt a path to and from the vehicle.

Cat

As for the mismatched socks, I claim not being awake as my defence.

No wonder the neighbour's daughter warmed up to you.

 

[McKenna]

Egads! Some people go out of their way to be jerks!

You could always poor a little water on the snow around his tires so it freezes at night to form a nice little skating rink.

Let's see, what else is fun? You could put something gooey under his doorhandle (or would that be too obvious?)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Egads! Some people go out of their way to be jerks!

You could always poor a little water on the snow around his tires so it freezes at night to form a nice little skating rink.

Let's see, what else is fun? You could put something gooey under his doorhandle (or would that be too obvious?)

I prefer to remove the valve cores from peoples tires.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

She had a really big handwriting? She wrote "move your car!" 300 times? Or did she go on a rampage and yell at him for not showing consideration, what is the society coming to, when I was young, etc..?

Exactly the latter, about how people don't understand how to be considerate, how she worked 60 hours a week and had mental problems and physical problems, etc.

It kind of made me feel bad when I read it, so I picked her some flowers and went over and apologized.

 

[McKenna]

I prefer to remove the valve cores from peoples tires.

You're evil. I like that!

 

[zeb1094]

Egads! Some people go out of their way to be jerks!

You could always poor a little water on the snow around his tires so it freezes at night to form a nice little skating rink.

Let's see, what else is fun? You could put something gooey under his doorhandle (or would that be too obvious?)

Take Iodine and write backwards on the windshield "FUCK YOU", let it dry then wipe it off with a damp cloth.

Now everytime it rains and his windshield wippers go over that area he will see your message as it will popout at him.

 

[McKenna]

Take Iodine and write backwards on the windshield "FUCK YOU", let it dry then wipe it off with a damp cloth.

Now everytime it rains and his windshield wippers go over that area he will see your message as it will popout at him.

OMG! Bwahahahahhahh!

I would SO fuck with my karma if I ever did this, but it's SO tempting!

 

[zeb1094]

OMG! Bwahahahahhahh!

I would SO fuck with my karma if I ever did this, but it's SO tempting!

Don't tell anyone, but in my youth I was known as the king of backward writing! I can even read upside down while you write it out longhand.

Was also known amoung friends to have done that very thing to several police cars...remember you never heard me say that!

 

[SeaCat]

Take Iodine and write backwards on the windshield "FUCK YOU", let it dry then wipe it off with a damp cloth.

Now everytime it rains and his windshield wippers go over that area he will see your message as it will popout at him.

Using yellow food dye write some guys name in the snowbank, in his wifes handwriting. (So this takes a little effort and practice but it's worth it.)

Cat

 

[zeb1094]

Using yellow food dye write some guys name in the snowbank, in his wifes handwriting. (So this takes a little effort and practice but it's worth it.)

Cat

Well I would end up writing it backward.

 

[SeaCat]

Well I would end up writing it backward.

Hey, if he thinks his wife did it, it's all for the good.

Cat

 

[zeb1094]

It snowed ....

http://www.geocities.com/little_man_matt/morepics/DSCF0007a.jpg

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Take Iodine and write backwards on the windshield "FUCK YOU", let it dry then wipe it off with a damp cloth.

Now everytime it rains and his windshield wippers go over that area he will see your message as it will popout at him.

OK, NOW we're getting somewhere..!

 

[Guest]

Flicka!!! Can you fix this thread so I can read it? Way too W---I---D---E.

P.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Flicka!!! Can you fix this thread so I can read it? Way too W---I---D---E.

P.

Better?