Then, Now and After -

[Annabelllee2003]

When I feel his kiss on my neck, I arch, allowing more skin to be teased with his lips. When his lips meet my nipple, “Oohhhh”, is all I can manage.

I lower my arm and drop the nozzle, so I can hold him to my breast. My nipples are alive, hard and aching, my breasts swelling under his mouth. With his breath, I shiver as the air moves across my wet nub and moan softly.

My hands tangle in his thick graying hair and I bring his mouth up to mine again before leading him back to my chest. I have never known such desire. I have never felt this kind of heat and passion, not near to it.

I stare down in wonder where Derek is joined to my body and a deep shuddering sigh moves me.

 

[cgraven]

A soft moan her fingers in my hair, drawn to her lips for a lingering kiss, then she arches her breast and guides me again to those sweet buds. My eyes meet hers as she gaze down at me, a shuttering sigh as my tongues flutters across the tip of her sensitive nipple, then a playful nip, as I gently tug her sweet nipple. Slowly I release it. And there is a devilish twinkle in my eyes.

Alyssa breathing is shallow and rapid as hands hold her steady just below her upturned breast, my lips kiss and seductively tongue her naval, a kiss and gentle bite at the soft spot where her hip and thigh join, as I kneel my hands sensually slide down the sinuous curves of Alyssa torso to rest on the swell of her hips. I purse my lips and Alyssa downy curly fleece dances in my hot moist breath.

My hands cup Alyssa firm rounded ass, I kiss and nibble her creamy, ivory, inner thighs, then my tongue sensually divides Alyssa moist silken rose pink folds in a long seductive lick.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

I am glad for Derek’s steadying hands when he begins his descent from my breasts. Another shuddering moan escapes my throat matching the rhythm of my ragged breathing as his hands move lower to my hips then my ass and his lips burn a trail of fire to the base of my belly. My hands are still twined in his hair, and I clutch at him compulsively when I feel his tongue between my thighs.

“My god Derek,” I moan, then he looks up at me, almost like asking permission. I open my legs a little wider, invitingly.

“You’re making me crazy, and I can’t wait to do the same to you.”

 

[cgraven]

At the first touch of my tongue as I taste Alyssa her body stiffens her finger curl tightly in my hair, I raise my eyes to meet hers, Alyssa ‘s head is thrown back, her supple body arches to me.

“My god Derek,”

Alyssa’s trembling legs open a little wider, invitingly, granting me easier access to her moist, warm, and pussy.

My mouth and teeth and tongue worship the sweet, succulent perfection of Alyssa rose pink folds and clit. As my tongue begins to lovingly lash, at her rose pink folds, suckle and nibble at that sweet p of passion, Alyssa’s soft, husky, sensual, whisper greet my ears.

“You’re making me crazy, and I can’t wait to do the same to you.”

I nibble, lap, and graze my teeth across her enflamed clit. My tongue darts and stabs pass Alyssa dark rose inner folds to feast upon her the silken, sweet, dewy, nectar that now bathes my mouth and face.

I continue till Alyssa is quivering and convulsing in unbridle ecstasy, then I sweep her into my arms to carry her panting and gasping to my bunk, I lay be side her holding close to me and savor the warmth and taste of her mouth in a soul searing kiss.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

If the wall didn’t hold me up, I’d be on the floor. When his teeth hit my center, I am lost, and a rush of my wet is released, met by Derek’s sweet mouth and cheeks. He plays and fondles and touches me so deeply, igniting fire and bringing heat. Derek’s mouth brings mindless glory, his probing and stabbing tongue, sweet passion, unlocked after years of unknown longing.

When I feel I must fall, he picks me up easily and lays me on his bunk. When he lays beside me and kisses me, my breath catches in my throat. I taste me on him. And I press my body along his length and urge him to lie flat, so I can taste him, feel him.

Moving over his long hard body, so much bigger than my own, I kiss his neck, raising the flesh in my mouth, tasting him. Moving lower to his chest, I savor the hardness, so different from my own body. I watch his face as I tweak his man-nipples and allow my tongue and teeth to graze lightly. Mmm. My hands grasp his shoulders, and then trail down, lightly raking my nails along his skin.

I shift lower, kissing down the taunt muscles of his belly and lower, moving his erection to the side to kiss more until I rub his rough hair on my cheeks. Bathing his sack with my tongue, long licks, I take his hard shaft in my hands and smile into his eyes, my mouth poised over him, waiting.

 

[cgraven]

Never had I suspected that Alyssa had such a passionate nature to her. It was a side of herself that she kept well hidden from the first day of our meeting at the space station. No only did this young beauty have a passionate side to her but ther was sensuality about her in the way she now kissed me, and it was a raw primeval sensuality her nails racking down my chest urgent teasing and demanding.

Playfulness was another side to Alyssa that she kept well hidden the way she had ambushed me in the shower, the way she teases me now as I gasp and sigh as she delights me. There is also boldness as her lips hover above my hard on, it sparkles in her eyes as she lets my anticipation build her sweet lips just a breath away.

“Alyssa Descartes are you going to tease me all night you sexy little vixen?”
my eyes are soft as they gaze into hers my hand caresses her silken hair.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

“Tease you?” I ask Derek, “Why yes, tease and torment, please… and tease some more.” Every other word I punctuate with a lick along his hard shaft.

Relenting, I bring my lips down to lick the glistening drop of fluid at his head, then open my mouth to take him in deeply, a light suction helps me draw him in. Shifting to align myself better, I draw back to tongue and circle the head of his cock, using my hands to stroke him before drinking him down again. Up and back, using my hands and mouth on him. Wanting him to feel the pleasure he made me feel, makes me feel still. I love his taste and the feel of him.

As my lips glide over him, I can’t begin to sort my feelings. He’s scared me for so long, I don’t want to think of what this all means. I push it all away, and concentrate only on our two bodies… on my mouth, and the delicious sensation of feeling him come more and more alive.

 

[cgraven]

“Tease you?”

A naughty twinkle in those green eyes.

“Why…………… yes,…………… tease………. and………………. torment,……… please… and tease………….. some……………. more.”

Each softly whispered word was accompanied by a sensual , seductive lick along my throbbing cock

The deep sexual and sensual nature of Alyssa, how she instinctively seems to now exactly what will please me is frightening it was like we had always know each other. The way her pink tongue licked, the seductive teasing pleasing way that Alyssa mouth trilled me. No woman had ever trilled or delighted me so. No woman had ever invoked the deep tender feeling that I now felt for this haughty, almost arrogant beauty. My mine spun in confusion as I rapidly approached the most unbelievable climax of my life, my body suddenly stiffening and exploding deep in the heavenly warmth of Alyssa mouth and throat. My brow was covered in sweat my body shook and I fought to catch my breath.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

When his fists clench in my hair, when I feel him spasm and start to release the thunderous jets of his essence in my waiting mouth, I shudder against him. Drinking him down. Holding him in my mouth until he quiets.

I crawl up the length of his body and lay my head in the niche between his shoulder and chest that seems to be made just for me. Listening to his heartbeat, thudding then slowing. His breathing coming easier. I'm content beyond words to just lie with him a leg thrown over his. My hand idly playing against his chest, fiddling with a little medallion.

I don’t talk. Just lay and reflect on this unimaginable turn of events. How everything after his first kiss just seemed inevitable, and powerfully right.

 

[cgraven]

Alyssa, is wanton yet loving as she drinks my passionate offering. This strange young woman so much a mystery to me yet at the same time I feel so close to her.

There is a smile on Alyssa sweet have, her eyes alive and sparkling. A great peace engulfs me as her leg is lazily draped over mine, the stray wisps of her hair that tickles the tip of my nose, her head resting on my chest. I smile as Alyssa toys with the little medallion That was my great, great Grand father’s, I am at peace.

That peace was shatter as the sounding of the battle alarm, the general announcing system blares.

“All Hands report to your emergency battle stations unidentified craft detected. Captain your presence is requested on the bridge.”

I jump from my bunk and Alyssa goes sprawling on the deck as I quickly dawn my uniform making my way to the bridge.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

We were both drifting until the alarm went of, jerking us both out of our contentment with its urgent message –

“All Hands report to your emergency battle stations unidentified craft detected. Captain your presence is requested on the bridge.”

Then I am on the floor, legs akimbo watching as Derek struggles into his uniform and is out the hatch before I can get up.

Jesus, what is this? Scrambling to find my clothes, I can’t find my bra, then shrug, as I snatch the tank top over my head. Dance-hopping into my trousers, I spy my boots, half under his desk. Pulling them on and raking my hands through my hair, I’m out the door a scant 30 seconds after Derek.

Winding my way to the bridge, I stagger with the force of a blast across our bow trying to get to my station. A warning shot I hope. My adrenaline is pumping when I swing into my chair and pull on my headset. I am so scared.

I hear the Captain call for a SITREP and frantically scan my sensors, trying to read the data racing over my screen. Martin, the helmsman, is shouting that he doesn’t know who the fuck they are. Who the hell would be out here, this far? We haven’t seen another ship in weeks.

Our interlude forgotten now, I scramble for information. I look at Derek and find his face pale, a mask of concentration and it’s hard. Back to the man he was, and it’s a relief.

 

[cgraven]

“Shields up, weapons status Michelle, Ensign Descartes engineering status?”

The practiced routines of command, drills, and a well established team work of my crew would mean the difference between survival and disaster. We are rocked by a direct hit in our shields on the starboard bow, then another on the port quarter and I can feel the loss of power.

I bark my orders we heel hard to port then snap back to starboard. Our unknown advisory is now astern and closing fast for the kill.

Michelle calls out the closing range, then yells;

They are firing up weapons Sir! “

“Martin down 30 degrees all stop”

They shoot pass us.

“Full power up 40 degrees……… Michelle take them as they come to bear “

With a deceptively relaxed coordination helm and weapons responded. And the short concentrate fir put a very deliberate and final end to the other ship.

“Ensign Descartes damage reports.”

 

[Annabelllee2003]

My God. That happened so fast. My heart is pounding from fear, excitement. How can he be so CALM?

“They took out our port shield Captain. Main damage is concentrated in the cargo area. Electronics on crew deck is fried as well as the artificial gravity, probably shorted there as well. We have some serious hull damage from the cargo bay forward. No crew causalities reported, Sir, minor scrapes and scratches.

“Estimated repair time – five days, a week. We can’t go anywhere fast until the hull is repaired.”

If we have the material, I add silently. I look at Derek. His face is a study in stone. Gone was the considerate lover and I have been shoved back to ‘ENSIGN”. Sighing, I turn back to my readings. Guess I am back to being the outsider.

 

[cgraven]

Alyssa gives her report in the same brisk manner that is her hall mark. The young vibrant woman is gone, yet that memory lingers in the back of my mind. How could this cold austere woman and the Alyssa I met in my cabin, passionate, playful and so full of life be the same person? Or was it just a moment of weakness a sudden burst of passion she now regrets.

Ensign Descartes well done take charge of damage control, expedite the repairs.

I wonder if Alyssa regrets our encounter or weather this cold façade is a defensive mechanism.

“Ensign Hull damage and engine repairs have the highest priority, our friend out there may not be alone.”

Martian have all division officers give me a full report by 20:00 hours. Alyssa I’ll expect your initial evaluation by 23:00……………..Michelle you have the deck and the con.”

I leave the bridge to take a first hand look at the damage myself.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

“Ensign Descartes well done take charge of damage control, expedite the repairs.”

“Yes Sir,” I answer automatically.

“Ensign Hull damage and engine repairs have the highest priority, our friend out there may not be alone.

”Martin, have all division officers give me a full report by 20:00 hours. Alyssa I’ll expect your initial evaluation by 23:00……………..Michelle you have the deck and the con.”

Leaving the bridge, I head for the cargo bay. His welcome praise is mixed with pique. Great, put me in charge. I’m sure everyone will just jump when I say frog. Well, it’s an order.
Entering the bay I thumb the comm and start gathering the DC team needed.

As I assess the damage, my mind sneaks back to his cabin and a little shudder goes through me. Giving myself a mental shake, I start divvying up the jobs. One of the crewmen is smirking at me. I follow his eyes and look down. My face slams with color, my shirt is on inside out.

I pull my chin up and stare him down. “Let’s get a move on. Captain says this is Hi-Pri.”

At 2300, I am standing once again at Captain William’s hatch, the evaluation and recommendations clutched in my hand. When he opens the door, I hand him the portable notes and search his eyes for the earlier man. He looks so tired.

 

[cgraven]

The events of the day had me worn out, the officer’s call at 20:00 was taxing as the department heads made excuses of why there had been failures in detecting and responding to the unknown intruder.

“Ladies and gentlemen until further notice we will assume a war time cursing posture, port and starboard watches, weapons systems on line, and both manual and automatic scans………………….Dismissed”

I sat there digesting their reports when lost in thought. A knock and I bark.

“Enter”

Alyssa stands and hands me her report, stern and aloof , yet there is softness in her yes as they search mine. Who is she the arrogant Ensign that keeps to herself or the young passionate playful vixen of earlier., hell I can’t figure it out and I am much to tiered at the moment to even try.

“Ensign Descartes break down your report and give me the short and sweet of it!”

My hand goes to the back of my neck rubbing it trying to work out the knots.

“Alyssa I am just too tiered to read it now but I have to get the info, To determine our next move.”

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Reaching to take the portable from him, I scan the contents I painstakingly entered earlier and begin to speak, categorizing the repairs. What we need to manufacture or adapt. The trouble areas…

I’ve seen him look harsh and hard. I have seen him laughing with the crew. I have seen his eyes dark with passion and the teasing glint when we fought for the nozzle. I have never seen this bone deep weariness in him. Could any one day have such highs or lows? Did our time together mean anything to him?

As my voice slows to a stop, I shift on my feet and wait for his thoughts or orders. The day’s events have caught up with me too as I feel weariness descend. Perhaps it’s best that we forget what happened earlier.

I watch as he tries to rub the stiffness from his neck. Bending his head and twisting to work out the tension. I can’t help it. I just want to have him rest back against me, sitting there. I want to massage away the tension and feel him relax into me.

Shrugging off the feeling, I remember something. I scan the room, searching for my lost bra. As nonchalantly as possible I bend and gather it from under a chair, rising and stuffing it into my pocket. Pressing my lips together, I wait.

 

[cgraven]

Damn I am the captain of this ship and all the crew are my responsibility, every thing that happens aboard her in the end I am responsible for. I had made it a policy never to get involved with a female member, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

But as Alyssa’s voice slows to a stop, the way her sultry hips roll as she shifts her wait from one foot to the other, has my mind wandering back to earlier today and the ion shower. Alyssa’s eyes scan the room, searching for something, then nonchalantly as possible she bend and gather something from under a chair, rising Alyssa stuffs her bra into my pocket. I slowly raise my head a weary smile on my face.

“Ensign Descartes………………………….Alyssa it is hardly regulation to wear your uniform blouse on inside out or your bra in your pocket.”

My eyes hold hers for a moment mine so very tiered.

“Do you regret earlier?”

I pause getting up to get a coffee from the replicator.

“If so then we will say no more about it.”

I had to give her away out, my needs had to be secondary to hers.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

I feel myself flush when he speaks “Ensign Descartes……….Alyssa it is hardly regulation to wear your uniform blouse on inside out or your bra in your pocket.” then return his smile when I see he’s joking but he goes on…

“Do you regret earlier? … If so then we will say no more about it.”

I sink into a chair in front of his desk. Do I regret earlier? The smile fades from my lips as I think about this. Do I regret? Playing it over in my mind, I can’t regret it. I fumble around for words… I don’t lie, I can’t start to now.

“Regret? No, I don’t regret it.” Searching his eyes, I just see the tired. I shake my head and smile a half smile. “It sure beat getting yelled at.

“But really, we can just go on from here. It’s an awkward situation isn’t it? Well, we can make it less awkward. Chalk it up to tension. You won’t have trouble from me. Can we forget it happened? I can’t. But I hope I can be adult about it Derek. So no, I don’t regret it. And if you think we need to get past it, I will do my best.

Pausing again, I hesitate to speak, “I’ll never forget it.”

 

[cgraven]

Alyssa looks as worn as I feel as she sinks into the chair across from my desk. She has a haggard thoughtful look her dark green eyes so open so expressive earlier to day mask her thoughts keeping them locked in a private world all her own. I sip my coffee as I again slump into my seat.

“Regret? No, I don’t regret it.”

she turns those stunning eyes on me looking, no searching for something, a weary half smile bows her lips.

It sure beat getting yelled at…………………..“But really, we can just go on from here. It’s an awkward situation isn’t it? Well, we can make it less awkward. Chalk it up to tension. You won’t have trouble from me. Can we forget it happened? I can’t. But I hope I can be adult about it Derek. So no, I don’t regret it. And if you think we need to get past it, I will do my best. “

There is a long pause the silence is almost deafening.

“I’ll never forget it.”

How do I answer Alyssa, how do I tell her I want her, that ever minute away from her is torture. Yet how can I purse my feelings, I am in command, I am responsible to pull them all through what is to come no matter what. Damn what the hell am I supposed to do?

“Nor will I Alyssa”

With out meaning to my hand covers her, my thumb gently massaging the back of her hand.

‘But what are we going to do about it? How can I be impartial if we become lovers Alyssa?”

There it was out on the table as they say. And I dread her possible answer.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Oh Christ he confuses me.

But what are we going to do about it? How can I be impartial if we become lovers Alyssa?”

Just what the hell is he saying. His gentle touch on my hand burns. I snatch my hand away, bringing both to my temples to press hard.

“Is that what you want Derek? To become lovers? Jesus, you confuse me. You asked me if I regret it. No, I don’t regret it.” I stand and place my hands on his desk, leaning forward.

“You ask what are we going to do about it. I DON’T know. Nothing, anything, everything. Do we have to DO anything? Until earlier today I thought you hated me. Now you talk of being lovers. Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is?” I hear the pitch of my voice rise and rise and I can’t stop it. It’s been too much for one day.

I push off his desk, shaking my head. “I’m tired Captain Williams. You have your report. Is there anything else?”

All I want to do at this point is leave before I burst into stupid tears.

 

[cgraven]

“Is that what you want Derek? To become lovers? Jesus, you confuse me. You asked me if I regret it. No, I don’t regret it.” ………………………….

“You ask what are we going to do about it. I DON’T know. Nothing, anything, everything. Do we have to DO anything? Until earlier today I thought you hated me. Now you talk of being lovers. Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is?”……………………………....

“I’m tired Captain Williams. You have your report. Is there anything else?”.

I listen to her voice rise in pitch the way she leans on the desk the pushes off. The confusion in her eyes the tears forming there and My sad eyes look back at her, my heart breaking . I let out a long sigh.

“ No That is all Alyssa, thank you for your concise report and your honesty, you may go.”

Letting her go was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life, but it was Alyssa choice and I would respect it despite my own feelings and needs.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Shutting his hatch, I lean against it, my tears spilling over and blurring my vision. His eyes were so sad. The sadness and weariness came from him in waves. Pushing away from the hatch, I start to make my way down to my quarters. Meeting Martin coming down the cramped corridor, I hurriedly brush the tears away with the back of my hand. I raise my eyes to him, the most antagonistic of this crew. I don’t think I can stand another confrontation.

“Good work today Ensign,” he says in passing, his voice kind, not his usual way of addresses me.

His words bring another bite of tears I have trouble understanding.

Shaking, I enter my quarters and collapse on my bunk. A million thoughts course through my brain as I remember the past three months and relive today with Derek. The passion I felt in his arms was way beyond anything I have known. Tasting and loving him was exquisite. I ball the pillow to my stomach and cry.

Going from hatred to love in mere seconds it seemed. How is that possible? It felt so right, like coming home. I’d wanted so much to take his hand and damn everything else. I wanted to kiss the sadness from his eyes and lay with him, keeping guard as he slept.

The night was so long… So long. My sleep broken by fragments of nightmares I couldn’t remember. It seems I just fell asleep when my alarm went off.

Groaning, I take a shower and dress.

As I enter the galley for a glass of tomato juice, my name comes over the comm. “Ensign Descartes, report to the bridge.” Another day, I sigh, taking a quick drink before replying, “On my way.” God, don’t give me another day like yesterday, please.

 

[cgraven]

I watched as Alyssa left and I felt like I had died cold inside. It was her decision to make and she had made it making her position quite clear. I remember a line from and old book.

Sometimes love is letting them go for love can not be held or forced.

Over the next several months’ things settled down to the normal routine of exploration planetary surveys. The cataloging of resources and their potential for extend production. The crew had settled down into a familiar routine. The day of the attack and Alyssa calmness under battle , the way she effected repairs had won the respect of her fellow shipmates.

We where cordial to each other but avoided each other than in the line of duty. The thing that nagged at the back of my mind was who had attacked us.

It had been six months since that day and I was fast asleep half the crew on the latest planets surface when the general alarmed sounded.

“All hand man your battle stations.”

Before I could reach the bridge the ship was rocked by three hits .

‘”Weapons Status, Damage reports.”

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Life continued. We were correct. And it was death every day to see him. Not to touch him. To have him so close and not see me. I was up late in the galley when the general alarm peeled forth. I was thrown to the deck. We were hit again when I just got to my feet, the deck topsy-turvy. When we are hit again, my head collides with a table. Shaking it off, I head for the bridge and my station.

Wiping a hand across my forehead, barely noticing the blood, I scan the console.

“Captain, we can’t take another hit like that. Aft shields are gone, starboard just buckled. Hull breach on crew quarters. Causalities on all decks.” Rocked out of my chair with another blast. I scramble back to my station.

This is crazy, no time to think of anything. I peel the panel away and try to divert power to the shields.

“I got some minimal power to the starboard shield Captain, but it’s not gonna hold.”

Martin is scrambling back into his chair, I feel us list when he comes about. Our aptitude is shot. Don’t let us die like this I prayed. Captain Williams barks more orders. I could die for him at that moment. Feeling for him, feeling his concern and depth of love for us. For me. I feel it for me.