Things my father told me

[midwestyankee]

"You'd make a good lawyer." And then another time: "Lawyers have a license to steal."

I chose not to listen.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

About the only advice I can remember getting from my dad was, "If someone wants to fight you, he wants to hurt you. Hurt him before he gets that chance; beat the shit out of him with a 2x4."

Of course, he was, as usual, drunk at the time.

 

[Macy02]

Only advice...


Hi everyone, I hope it's ok if I just jump in here.

The ONLY advice my mother ever gave me was

"Don't get caught"[/COLOR]

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

"Shit in one hand, want in the other, see which fills up first."

I've heard this before, (not from my folks), except it was always "wish" in one hand, etc.

My take on it was always that wishing for things is useless.

Yup, my mum used it with 'wish'

And I'd agree on your take Keroin. Usually it came up when we were wishing for fanciful things.

 

[DVS]

My dad was good at most anything he ever attempted. He taught me electricity, plumping, carpentry, and how to treat people with respect. He treated everybody like they were his friends. If he knew someone was experiencing hard times, he'd often tell them not to worry about it and just pay when they could.

He taught me simple respect for others. Things like saying "please" and "thank you" mean a lot. And don't say you can do something, unless you can. If you say you'll do something be sure you follow through and do it. People will trust you and respect you as a person of your word.

When fixing something, he told me to do it right the first time and it would stay fixed longer. The satisfaction of a job well done would give me more free time and I'd sleep better at night.

He taught me to take care of tools (mostly because they were his tools). He taught me not to waste things. He said everything has a life expectancy...light bulbs and electronics do too. Turn the lights off when you leave a room. Turn off the TV when you're not watching it.

There are two parts to a conversation. One part is talking and the other part is listening. Too many people talk and not enough listen.

My whole family were jokesters. My dad was always ready with a joke. When my mother would try something new for dinner and asked if he liked it, he'd sometimes reply, "well, I wouldn't order it in a restaurant." Of course, he was always kidding.

He'd see a dog limping and say it was multiplying. When asked what he meant he'd say, "well, he's putting down three and carrying one."

He always thought it was strange how many businesses were open 8 to 5, when their customers were at work during those same hours. He always said "why make it difficult for your customer to give you business?" He was the only professional in our small town that kept late office hours and Saturday hours, so people didn't have to take off work to come in.

He said forcing someone to take off work was like charging them twice as much for your services. Today, I think of this when going into an all night grocery store or when Walmart closes at 11 PM. My dad did it first.

 

[Netzach]

Bio Dad: nothing.

Stepdad: nothing wildly useful. Acted like I was going to run the pontiac t1000 into a wall the moment I turned the key. Oh - "your mother's crazy" - that actually was exceptionally helpful because I had no real way of being sure of it till then. He was crazy too but in a different fashion. I seriously could never identify what the hell was wrong without that outer perspective.

Grandpa: Not a ton of useful advice either - definitely thought the world of me but failed to impart much useful stuff. I wish he'd lived to see me go into business, though. Did get me to pull my head out of my ass and think of other people when he said "do you think I WANTED to drop out in eighth grade?"

The men in my life to give me profound good advice were all teachers or some form of lay. I really lucked out in some ways because I never tried to recreate these lame familial dynamics when looking for a partner, I always wanted better.

I almost made T cry when I explained this lack of useful knowhow - no, really. You learned to build things and farm and make money and keep books and I had none of this explained to me at any point. Not even how to scrub a pot or pan right. I can honestly say that close to EVERYTHING practical I know I learned in school or at camp or from watching other people.

 

[JMohegan]

Bio Dad: nothing.

I have a close friend whose bio father walked out when she was very young, and never came back.

I once asked her if she remembers what he looked like, or anything he ever said. Her answer: "No. But in the walking, he told me everything I ever needed to know about the world, and my role in it."

 

[YourCaptor]

My father told me he didn't want to talk on the phone because hearing a loved ones voice when they are far away is too painful.

 

[JhMcKn]

My fathers best advice to me when I was leaving to be inducted into the Army. He simply said "Keep your cock in your pants or use a rubber."

 

[PertPerth]

Interesting thread - and timing for me.
My Dad is currently in hospital with a "mass" in his brain - two weeks ago today, my Mum found him paralized on his left side of his body. Rushed to hospital, head CT showed the mass (rather than a stroke). The Dr's think it's most likely a brain cyst/infection, rather than a tumor. So, while waiting for the MRI (because he has panic attacks and has claustrophobia, so needed to go under general for it) he had a heart attack. Added to his pneumonia, elevated heart rate, high blood pressire, kidney failure, gout, anemia and rapid weight loss, he's not in a stable enough condition to give him a general for thr MRI.

Long story short Dad has always told me to "Just get on with things, don't make a fuss".

His ultra-proud nature has put him into hospital where he can't do anything. The lesson I have learnt is that pride is deadly. I can also see that some times, you shouldn't just get on with things - you should stop, fix minor issues, then continue. A stitch in time saves nine.

 

[caela]

I think my favorite quote from my Dad is, "God gave you two ears and one mouth so you can listen twice as much as you speak."

There are days I am better at taking that advice than others but I try to work on it everyday lol.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS*

I agree that we should each try to live as if this day might be our last. I learned that when my Dad died. It's hard to keep fixed in your head though when life seems so urgent and so busy.

*HUG*

Interesting thread - and timing for me.
My Dad is currently in hospital with a "mass" in his brain - two weeks ago today, my Mum found him paralized on his left side of his body. Rushed to hospital, head CT showed the mass (rather than a stroke). The Dr's think it's most likely a brain cyst/infection, rather than a tumor. So, while waiting for the MRI (because he has panic attacks and has claustrophobia, so needed to go under general for it) he had a heart attack. Added to his pneumonia, elevated heart rate, high blood pressire, kidney failure, gout, anemia and rapid weight loss, he's not in a stable enough condition to give him a general for thr MRI.

Long story short Dad has always told me to "Just get on with things, don't make a fuss".

His ultra-proud nature has put him into hospital where he can't do anything. The lesson I have learnt is that pride is deadly. I can also see that some times, you shouldn't just get on with things - you should stop, fix minor issues, then continue. A stitch in time saves nine.

 

[FurryFury]

Great stuff!

My dad was good at most anything he ever attempted. He taught me electricity, plumping, carpentry, and how to treat people with respect. He treated everybody like they were his friends. If he knew someone was experiencing hard times, he'd often tell them not to worry about it and just pay when they could.

He taught me simple respect for others. Things like saying "please" and "thank you" mean a lot. And don't say you can do something, unless you can. If you say you'll do something be sure you follow through and do it. People will trust you and respect you as a person of your word.

When fixing something, he told me to do it right the first time and it would stay fixed longer. The satisfaction of a job well done would give me more free time and I'd sleep better at night.

He taught me to take care of tools (mostly because they were his tools). He taught me not to waste things. He said everything has a life expectancy...light bulbs and electronics do too. Turn the lights off when you leave a room. Turn off the TV when you're not watching it.

There are two parts to a conversation. One part is talking and the other part is listening. Too many people talk and not enough listen.

My whole family were jokesters. My dad was always ready with a joke. When my mother would try something new for dinner and asked if he liked it, he'd sometimes reply, "well, I wouldn't order it in a restaurant." Of course, he was always kidding.

He'd see a dog limping and say it was multiplying. When asked what he meant he'd say, "well, he's putting down three and carrying one."

He always thought it was strange how many businesses were open 8 to 5, when their customers were at work during those same hours. He always said "why make it difficult for your customer to give you business?" He was the only professional in our small town that kept late office hours and Saturday hours, so people didn't have to take off work to come in.

He said forcing someone to take off work was like charging them twice as much for your services. Today, I think of this when going into an all night grocery store or when Walmart closes at 11 PM. My dad did it first.

 

[FurryFury]

Not long before he died, my Dad said that the best thing he ever did in his life was me. This surprised and touched me. There were so many times growing up when I didn't think I'd survive his rage or when I felt he didn't want to be seen with me. Well he actually told me that point blank. He didn't want people to think he was old enough to have a daugther like me but anyway . . . Him telling me this was a gift.

It made me rethink my no kids ever mind set. Which lead me to have two wonderful kids. Having my first child lead me to make better decisions with my unborn child foremost in my mind. Previously, I didn't give much of a crap about me so my decisions were often not good ones. Since then, my life has absolutely improved.

 

[neci]

some of my favorite sayings from my mom were during the sex and drug talks i received as a teenager.

"I did cocaine once in the late 70's. I loved it. I never did it again. Don't ever do cocaine. You'll like it too."

"You come from a long line of fertile women. The first time you ever have unprotected sex, you will get pregnant!"

"Paybacks are hell. Just wait until you have kids."

 

[Keroin]

Interesting thread - and timing for me.
My Dad is currently in hospital with a "mass" in his brain - two weeks ago today, my Mum found him paralized on his left side of his body. Rushed to hospital, head CT showed the mass (rather than a stroke). The Dr's think it's most likely a brain cyst/infection, rather than a tumor. So, while waiting for the MRI (because he has panic attacks and has claustrophobia, so needed to go under general for it) he had a heart attack. Added to his pneumonia, elevated heart rate, high blood pressire, kidney failure, gout, anemia and rapid weight loss, he's not in a stable enough condition to give him a general for thr MRI.

Long story short Dad has always told me to "Just get on with things, don't make a fuss".

His ultra-proud nature has put him into hospital where he can't do anything. The lesson I have learnt is that pride is deadly. I can also see that some times, you shouldn't just get on with things - you should stop, fix minor issues, then continue. A stitch in time saves nine.

Sorry to hear about this P. Yeah, sometimes you have to make a fuss. My dad is much the same. Last year he was so sick but he wouldn't call an ambulance because he didn't want to "make a fuss". Luckily my sister sent my nephew over and found him on the floor, too weak to move. Nephew then called the ambulance. He could have died...stubborn son of a %^#$!!

Hope your dad gets well soon.

Not long before he died, my Dad said that the best thing he ever did in his life was me. This surprised and touched me. There were so many times growing up when I didn't think I'd survive his rage or when I felt he didn't want to be seen with me. Well he actually told me that point blank. He didn't want people to think he was old enough to have a daugther like me but anyway . . . Him telling me this was a gift.

It made me rethink my no kids ever mind set. Which lead me to have two wonderful kids. Having my first child lead me to make better decisions with my unborn child foremost in my mind. Previously, I didn't give much of a crap about me so my decisions were often not good ones. Since then, my life has absolutely improved.

FF, this is lovely. I'm so glad that you at least got that much from your dad. That was a great gift.

"I did cocaine once in the late 70's. I loved it. I never did it again. Don't ever do cocaine. You'll like it too."

LOL. Hilarious!

 

[LearningSub]

deleted

 

[graceanne]

"Paybacks are hell. Just wait until you have kids."

My mom was bitching about me (i was 13 - nuff said) and my grandma just patted her hand hand and said "oh, honey. It's just your chickens coming home to roost."

My mother did not find it anywhere near as amusing as my grandma did. Not until she was a grandma and got to do it to my sister.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I remember when my father gave me the "why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free" speech. He had found out the I spent the night at my boyfriend's house (now husband) while my parents were on vacation. I wasn't even having sex with my husband back then (I was a good girl once upon a time). He was convinced I was and was so disappointed he was thinking of not letting me go to college in the fall.

Other than that all of his advice came from the way he lived his life. Always honest, always treating others with respect no matter who they were, always lend a helping hand when needed.

I also spent many many hours from the time I was 3 or so on helping him fix the washer, the dryer, the dishwasher, the sink, etc etc. The only thing he wasn't able to fix was the car. When he was older he took a car maintenance adult ed course at the high school.

He died 12 years ago of a short sudden illness. I miss him terribly. I especially wish my children would have been able to get to know him.

 

[graceanne]

From my mother, since it's evidently okay to put mom tells here.

"People think they can't control who they fall in love with. Love is not a noun, it's a verb, and you can control who you love. Never date a man you can't see yourself marrying and having kids with, and you won't have to worry about loving a man who doesn't deserve your love. It's amazing how quick 'love' goes out the door when there's no food on the table, and your man is on his ass watching TV. When you do get married, remember that love requires work, if you want your love to last you have to work at it. Never marry a man who you can't be friends with, because that pitter patter 'in love' feeling comes and goes, and friendship will get you through tough times when 'in love' won't. "

 

[graceanne]

I remember when my father gave me the "why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free" speech. He had found out the I spent the night at my boyfriend's house (now husband) while my parents were on vacation. I wasn't even having sex with my husband back then (I was a good girl once upon a time). He was convinced I was and was so disappointed he was thinking of not letting me go to college in the fall.

My stepdad was always determined that I was a slut in the making. When I was 14 he told me that because I'd gotten bad grades I was going to end up pregnant, on drugs, and a drop out by the time I was 16 (i was a virgin at the time and had never even had a boyfriend). I was 11 the first time I got the 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free' speech. I don't recall what I did, if anything, that would have brought on that lecture.

 

[Cattypuss]

My dad was a Lancastrian, but he shamelessly borrowed this saying from the other side of the Pennines...


See all, hear all, say nowt
Eat all, sup all, pay nowt
And if ever tha does owt for nowt,
Do it for thissen*

Always said with a twinkle.

We weren't terribly close but he died last autumn and I do miss him.




*translation:

See everything, hear everything, say nothing
Eat everything, drink everything, pay nothing
And is ever you do anything for nothing
Do it for yourself.

 

[chy_girl]

"I did cocaine once in the late 70's. I loved it. I never did it again. Don't ever do cocaine. You'll like it too."

All of us kids were school age when the "Just Say No" started hot and heavy. The day that all four of us brought home a letter from school lecturing on the importance of talking to your kids about drugs my mom called us in from outside and sat us on the couch.

Her "talk": "If you ever do drugs I will know and will kill you. Don't do drugs."

None of had reason to doubt the validity of her statement and out of four kids one of my brothers tried coke once and I tried pot twice.

Needless to say, we had a very healthy respect for our mother and her threats.

 

[neci]

LOL. Hilarious!

this is a two thumbs up thread, Keroin! i have been reminiscing all day on crazy things my parents said and did when i was younger. thank you.

My mom was bitching about me (i was 13 - nuff said) and my grandma just patted her hand hand and said "oh, honey. It's just your chickens coming home to roost."

My mother did not find it anywhere near as amusing as my grandma did. Not until she was a grandma and got to do it to my sister.

hehehe my grandmother used to tell my mom the same thing. it's a saying i fully plan on passing down.

All of us kids were school age when the "Just Say No" started hot and heavy. The day that all four of us brought home a letter from school lecturing on the importance of talking to your kids about drugs my mom called us in from outside and sat us on the couch.

Her "talk": "If you ever do drugs I will know and will kill you. Don't do drugs."

None of had reason to doubt the validity of her statement and out of four kids one of my brothers tried coke once and I tried pot twice.

Needless to say, we had a very healthy respect for our mother and her threats.

the drug talks from my parents were crazy. they really wanted to be politically correct, but, as free loving hippies, the conversation usually turned to how great pot was in brownies and spaghetti sauce. they are going to be lots of fun in the nursing home.

 

[neci]

my mom on big boobs:

"Enjoy them while they're young and perky, because one day they're going to sag to your knees."