Things my father told me

[Keroin]

this is a two thumbs up thread, Keroin! i have been reminiscing all day on crazy things my parents said and did when i was younger. thank you.

Wow, thanks. Though the thanks should go to my dad, since he inspired this.

the drug talks from my parents were crazy. they really wanted to be politically correct, but, as free loving hippies, the conversation usually turned to how great pot was in brownies and spaghetti sauce. they are going to be lots fun in the nursing home.

Oh, I like your parents already!

(I live in hippie-ville and...yeah...I'll leave it there)

 

[rida]

My mom lectures were of the type:
"Don't get married, get a college degree and make sure you can maintain yourself with your own work. If you do marry, marry someone rich or that makes money so you don't have to work. "
Neither to say, in my idealistic youth I always accused her of being focused on money only.
Her "get a college degree" line, I realized stuck deeper than I thought, when I drunkenly blurted out to the college guy that was trying to take my panty-hoses off that I could not have sex as I had to finish college first.

My dad has (and still is) a jokester. Too bad sometime his jokes would cut just a little bit too close, like the time while recalling some fun thing or another, he rephrased a joke in the story to tell me that "you are not ugly. it is only that pretty girls look different". I was in my early teens at the time, I did not consider myself pretty nor I cared about it so I just ignored it.

The best advice I ever got though was from my then close to 90years old grandma when I was moving to leave with my now husband. She told me:
"Women are lucky now that they can check up their men before merrying them. Living with him you'll see what kind of a person he is. Pay attention and if he is not worth the trouble (aka not trustworthy, not a hard worker, etc), just come back home".
She was an incredible strong woman.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My father said;

"If you're going to fuck around, don't fuck more than one boy in any group of guys, or else they will think you're a slut."

He prettied it up some, but that was the gist of it.

My mother told me; "Stella you can NOT put a collar and leash on your African-American girlfriend, I don't care if she's your kitty pet-- I didn't march with MLK for that!"

Petplay was pretty much unknown back in 1973.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

My mom once told me.. "The fact someone doesnt love you the way you want them too, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they are."



I hope you get the point. Not sure if I wrote it how it should be said in proper english, but I tryed.

 

[PertPerth]

From my mother, since it's evidently okay to put mom tells here.

"People think they can't control who they fall in love with. Love is not a noun, it's a verb, and you can control who you love. Never date a man you can't see yourself marrying and having kids with, and you won't have to worry about loving a man who doesn't deserve your love. It's amazing how quick 'love' goes out the door when there's no food on the table, and your man is on his ass watching TV. When you do get married, remember that love requires work, if you want your love to last you have to work at it. Never marry a man who you can't be friends with, because that pitter patter 'in love' feeling comes and goes, and friendship will get you through tough times when 'in love' won't. "

Great advice. Your mother is obvoiusly a wise woman.

My mom once told me.. "The fact someone doesnt love you the way you want them too, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they are."

I love that


While we're on quotes from our mothers - my Mum's classics are (with regards to dating) "go limp, men don't like women who have an opinion" and "keep your legs crossed".

 

[JMohegan]

My father said;

"If you're going to fuck around, don't fuck more than one boy in any group of guys, or else they will think you're a slut."

He prettied it up some, but that was the gist of it.

My mother told me; "Stella you can NOT put a collar and leash on your African-American girlfriend, I don't care if she's your kitty pet-- I didn't march with MLK for that!"

Petplay was pretty much unknown back in 1973.

Haha! That pet quote's pretty cute.

My parents marched, too. Can't recall any interracial dating tips or admonishments, though.

Re fucking around - from my father, I got: "Don't kiss and tell, or you won't be doing much kissing to tell about." Also, a firm warning on the consequences of impregnating females, and a drawer full of condoms, replenished free of charge, no questions asked.

From my mother, for years I got: "For heaven's sake, Jack. When, oh when, will you settle down?"

 

[graceanne]

My mom once told me.. "The fact someone doesnt love you the way you want them too, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they are."



I hope you get the point. Not sure if I wrote it how it should be said in proper english, but I tryed.

I think so, cause that's great.

My mother told me; "Stella you can NOT put a collar and leash on your African-American girlfriend, I don't care if she's your kitty pet-- I didn't march with MLK for that!"

ROFL

 

[Keroin]

From my mother, for years I got: "For heaven's sake, Jack. When, oh when, will you settle down?"

LOL, from both my parents, for years...

"When are you going to get a 'real' job??!"

 

[Soumis]

My mother told me; "Stella you can NOT put a collar and leash on your African-American girlfriend, I don't care if she's your kitty pet-- I didn't march with MLK for that!"

Petplay was pretty much unknown back in 1973.

That's priceless. Both what she said and that she could say it to you.

Lately I've been hearing a lot of, "How are you going to find someone to have babies with if you don't go to church? You still want babies right?" Generally followed by some form of, "You still like men right?"

 

[Keroin]

From the 92-year-old mother of one of the members of my writing group...

"If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're no damn good!"

 

[DVS]

One thing my dad said when I told him I wanted to be a full time musician. I was still in high school, but I was trying to prepare the family for my eventual move to a music mecca like L.A., New York or Atlanta. I purposely left out Nashville, because I wasn't into country music. Little did I know that styles would change and the new country is really rock with a bit of a twang. Who knew?

Anyway, we're sitting at the dinner table and I'm asking for a little loan so I can buy a new amp. The one I had was seriously lacking in punch and I needed something new.

I thought I had him convinced. He was patient, while I talked (pleaded). And once I was finished with my explanation of what amplifiers do, and such, I should have thought of the generation gap that was a phrase so often used back then. He had also played music in college, but when he played, nobody had amplifiers. Electricity was still new, and not everybody saw it as the great invention it has since turned out to be (joke...just a joke).

Anyway, I sat there, while he took a drink of his iced tea, then he said, "why do you need amplifiers? It just makes the mistakes louder, doesn't it?" At that moment I knew I didn't have his confidence. My music career had just hit a wall...just the first of so many yet to come.

 

[DVS]

When it came to drugs and sex, this thread should be named "things my father didn't tell me".

My parents didn't smoke, nor did they drink. Except for the evidence of myself and three sisters, I didn't think they had sex. Nobody had "the talk" with me on coming of age sex, and although I was a teen in the 60s, nobody talked to me about drugs.

I'm assuming some of this was because we lived in a small town of approximately 2,000 people. Everybody knew everybody...literally. If you didn't know them, you at least knew who they were, so doing something without my parents finding out was difficult.

Difficult, but not impossible. I did my share of illegal drugs. I was a musician and it was the 60s and 70s. What do you want? And of course, when I was seen with certain people, it got back to my family, usually through the grape vine. There were times it got back to my sisters that I was the biggest drug dealer in the area, which wasn't even close to true. It's just how things get trumped up, I guess. People seem to assume the worst, in many cases, when they don't have the complete story. But my parents never said anything to me. I guess my sisters didn't pass on the rumors they heard.

The most I ever got questioned was when I came home in an evening and I smelled like cigarettes. Yes, I tried to smoke in high school but I couldn't handle it. So I was always with friends that smoked but I never smoked myself. But by being in an enclosed car all evening with smokers, I'm sure I reeked of it. It took some explaining but I think they believed me.

My mother lost her younger sister to lung cancer back in my high school days. Her sister was an RN so I'm sure they had talked about it. Back then, it wasn't wide spread that smoking could be hazardous to your health. Cigarettes were still advertised on TV. But, I'm sure she was conscious of the addiction, having her younger sister go through it.

I do remember one time in high school when I got simple food poisoning from bad hot dogs. I came home throwing up after an evening out with the guys. I was miserable. But my mother refused to help me, because she thought I was throwing up because I was drunk. I couldn't convince her otherwise, in-between throwing up.

I was a good kid. I didn't smoke and I didn't drink very much. I really didn't even like the taste of beer, back then. But, the image of a high school kid throwing up...it just had to be because he drank too much.

Years later, I retold the story and she didn't even remember that evening. Figures...I can still taste the hot dogs!

 

[Betticus]

The best advice I've ever gotten was from my old sensei and one from a drill sergeant.

Sensei: "There is no such thing as a fair fight. If someone attacks you they mean to kill you. If you try to fight honorably you will die so look for a weapon, any weapon.. if you see a brick pick it up and use it. If you can run away then run but always make sure you are the only one who can get back up".

Also.. : "Every strike should be with the intent to disable your opponent, to break a bone, dislocate a joint, crush an artery. If you don't, he will".

Drill Sergeant: "It's a question of mind over matter, if you don't mind then it doesn't matter".

The drill sergeant was talking about the unpleasant things in life that we all have to do... anything from cleaning house to doing pushups in the mud and snow.

 

[Betticus]

Off topic but.. the most important things I've learned so far on my own.

You only possess one thing, your body and with it your mind. Everything else is replaceable.

Happiness comes from within yourself, find your own happiness and never look to others to make you happy.



From dad... "Never point a gun at something you don't intend to kill, a gun is not a toy and when you have to bring it out it is not for show, the decision to use it has already been made".

 

[JMohegan]

I did my share of illegal drugs. I was a musician and it was the 60s and 70s. What do you want? And of course, when I was seen with certain people, it got back to my family, usually through the grape vine. There were times it got back to my sisters that I was the biggest drug dealer in the area, which wasn't even close to true. It's just how things get trumped up, I guess. People seem to assume the worst, in many cases, when they don't have the complete story. But my parents never said anything to me. I guess my sisters didn't pass on the rumors they heard.

Is there anything they could have said to make you stop?

I was an athlete, and so never tempted by smoking or illegal drugs. But drinking was a different story, and I'm sure I would have started underage (<18, back in the day), but for the fact that my high school rigidly enforced a one-strike-you're-permanently-off-the-team policy regarding underage alcohol consumption.

 

[DVS]

Is there anything they could have said to make you stop?

I was an athlete, and so never tempted by smoking or illegal drugs. But drinking was a different story, and I'm sure I would have started underage (<18, back in the day), but for the fact that my high school rigidly enforced a one-strike-you're-permanently-off-the-team policy regarding underage alcohol consumption.

No, probably not.

 

[Netzach]

I'm a girl scout because my mother told me her bad trip story. I don't think it was embellished. I have no desire to see things that are not there, ever. Good or bad. Reality is challenging enough.

 

[chy_girl]

After a rather extended ADD moment (don't ask), I wish to add two more very valuable pieces of advice from my mom...

~ Just because you're fishing doesn't mean you're trying to catch fish.

~ And one of the most important things she ever taught me: Never eat an ice cream cone from the bottom up.

 

[kayte]

One thing I got from my Dad, and I remember it to this day.

There is NO free lunch!

 

[graceanne]

One thing I got from my Dad, and I remember it to this day.

There is NO free lunch!

Yeah, my mom always told me to look that gift horse in the mouth, and that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

 

[KoPilot]

"You could lose a few pounds."

I was 120lbs and 5'7" at the time. My dad's a dick.

 

[kayte]

Yeah, my mom always told me to look that gift horse in the mouth, and that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Exactly! Hi {{{{{grace}}}}} And I find it amazing the number of people who don't believe that. Hope all is going well with you.

 

[graceanne]

Exactly! Hi {{{{{grace}}}}} And I find it amazing the number of people who don't believe that. Hope all is going well with you.

I know.

Hi, kayte. I'm good. You?