D
de-valmont
Guest
Did you realise that this BMW has the engine of a Skoda?
While queuing for a bank teller.
Did you realise that this BMW has the engine of a Skoda?
While queuing for a bank teller.
Annicka
Tales to be Told
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2008
- Posts
- 2,902
Honestly! I didn't trip the silent alarm.
While a colourist has his hands in your hair...
D
de-valmont
Guest
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
I am so going to pay for a second condo with him.
While waiting in the receiving line at a wedding.
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
Didn't we fuck last night at a bachelor party?
What you don't want to hear when you buy your new house.
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
It was one hell of a gangbang here after the open house-they'll smell it for months
What you don't want to hear at your grandfather's funeral
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
It was one hell of a gangbang here after the open house-they'll smell it for months
What you don't want to hear at your grandfather's funeral
"He was a good man, known lovingly to the world of little person porn as "Big Poppa Pump"
The job you left off your resume...
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
Receiving clerk at a sex toy pawn shop
How you describe the ex you told no one about
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
Short, chubby, guy, smelled like cheese- no personality... ate pussy like a champ!
How not to quit a job.
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
Short, chubby, guy, smelled like cheese- no personality... ate pussy like a champ!
How not to quit a job.
I was on my way to the bathroom to get paper towels to clean the cum off your desk and keyboard, boss. Honest
The personal ad you wished you'd never written
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
I was on my way to the bathroom to get paper towels to clean the cum off your desk and keyboard, boss. Honest
The personal ad you wished you'd never written
Desperate, highly sexed woman seeking man to dress up like a gecko, speak to me in an accent, and spank me with a feather duster.
The blind date that you wished you had missed out on...
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
I walked in, she said "read this" and handed me a slip of paper that said" we that are about to die salute you"
The sex toy instructions that you should have read before using it
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
I walked in, she said "read this" and handed me a slip of paper that said" we that are about to die salute you"
The sex toy instructions that you should have read before using it
"E-Trance's Gently Used Sex Toys: Please wash well before use!"
The bit of advice you really didn't need to hear from your father/mother before your first date.
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
LMFAO!!!
If it gets hard while you are sitting at dinner, just think of your gran and gramps conceiving me and it'll go away.
The first incorrect thing about sex one of your friends at school told you
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
LMFAO!!!
If it gets hard while you are sitting at dinner, just think of your gran and gramps conceiving me and it'll go away.
The first incorrect thing about sex one of your friends at school told you
Eww! Penises are gross!
The piece of incorrect sexual information that you wish you had researched better...
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
women like being licked even faster and harder after they've climaxed several times
I had a heck of a time explaining the black eye in junior high
The remark to you by a date that ended the evening
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
women like being licked even faster and harder after they've climaxed several times
I had a heck of a time explaining the black eye in junior high
The remark to you by a date that ended the evening
So, once I started taking Valtrex, my breakouts cut in half! But damn, herpes is a bitch!
The one rumour you don't want to hear about your new date on Friday
e-trance action
You big dummy!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Posts
- 7,624
She runs this thread on an adult site and she and a bunch of other women tease the men mercilessly while they pleasure each other
The one letter you don't want to receive from the phone company.
AphroditeReborn
18+
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2008
- Posts
- 26,561
ROLMFAO at BOTH of you!!
D
de-valmont
Guest
It seems we owe your daughter $80,000 for monies paid to the adult line Henrietta's farm...
While listening to the sales drivel from a used car salesman.
Azuldrgon
Ronin
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Posts
- 69,014
Your wife said you'd love this $50,000 car while she blew me last week.
.....while waiting for your child's conference to start at school.
D
de-valmont
Guest
You know I always liked this new low-cut school uniform...
When you've just finished a telephone call...
Last edited by a moderator:
sweetmelissa2001
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2008
- Posts
- 2,632
just as i'm about to hang up the phone 'i can't believe she bought that'.
The person in the bathroom stall next to you.
drew62
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 2,666
just as i'm about to hang up the phone 'i can't believe she bought that'.
The person in the bathroom stall next to you.
Hello My name is Larry Craig and Im a U S senator.
You answer a phone call from the pizza place 15 minutes after having a pizza delivered
sweetmelissa2001
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2008
- Posts
- 2,632
miss, that was not mozzarella cheese on your pizza and if you in some impossible way in the near future become pregnant you are contractionaly obligated to name your child pizza hut.
through the drive through speaker
