Thought I'd try again (one last time)

[Cinner]

I feel a sudden and inexplainable surge to ask:

Why should the two be at odds with one another? 'There are some that would argue that the subs are the ones in control....

You're preaching to the choir here...

-Cinner

 

[teknight]

You're preaching to the choir here...

-Cinner

We have a choir?! Wow, I need to turn the speakers on then.
And how do you mean? What's your experience been like?

 

[Jemgirl01]

...Not sure I understand your question Jem... The tone of the thread so far wouldn't lend itself to me being explicit about my particular kinks... A bump nevertheless...

I was just trying to clarify what you were asking.

At the time I think I believed that there were different ways for the woman to be sexually submissive and wanted to know which one you meant.

That's all.

I think, at this moment, that just being able to choose who she has sex with and how she has sex with them is a form or feminism.

 

[Cinner]

I was just trying to clarify what you were asking.

At the time I think I believed that there were different ways for the woman to be sexually submissive and wanted to know which one you meant.

That's all.

I think, at this moment, that just being able to choose who she has sex with and how she has sex with them is a form or feminism.

I would agree that the fact that the sub has the right to choose with whom, when and how she has sex is an indication of the success of the feminist movement within certain societies. Sadly, however, there are many places in which submissive women behave in the same way in which many subs (as we seem to be thinking of them here) conduct themselves, but the element of social coercion that exists for them would attest to the non-universal nature of the acceptance of feminism.

I agree with Teknight's point that the sub in the context endorsed on Lit is arguably in control of the relationship. I think that the onus to establish and maintain trust and convince the sub of his/her self-control rests more with the Dom(me) especially in the early stages of the relationship and leaves him/her vulnerable in the short-term. Once boundaries have been defined and accepted, it becomes more equal in the sense that the parties are choosing to remain in the relationship.

I haven't been a sub for long, but it seems to me that every time that I've been approached with inquiries about my availability, the potential Dom does so with an attitude of recognising my rights to self-determination as we've described above and my ENHANCED place before the law (should things go wrong for us). I have had several persons apologise to me for possibly disturbing me with their complimentary Personal Messages!

 

[teknight]

Cinner's right. She does agree with me, after all. You can't have D/s without some basic set of right, that the s can claim to give up. It's not submission if you don't have a choice, it's wrong.

 

[Cinner]

Brave Maximus

Get well soon big guy.

 

[Brave Maximus]

Late night bump, before I go pass out....

 

[Cinner]

Oh my... I was passing by looking for a specific thread and saw this again... A shame how we've let these conversations lapse. Hopefully, by sending it to the top again the thread will revive a little.