"To keep the review thread clean..."

[PoetGuy]

Poet Guy thanks Anonymous, chipbutty, ishtat, NeonSubtlety, theognis, twelveoone, and vrosej10 for their comments on "Girl with Trim Ankles." Special thanks to vrosej10 for pointing out the misspelling of "tread" in L2.

Note to NeonSubtlety: Poet Guy was not thinking of Dead Prez, a group (?) he had never before heard of, but rather of Lester "Prez" Young, tenor saxophonist and Angeline's favorite jazz musician. Angeline's current avatar was the inspiration for the poem.

http://www.jazz.com/assets/2008/1/10/albumcoverSonnyClark-CoolStruttin.jpg?1199954364

which made Poet Guy think of the Sabrina-era Audrey Hepburn:

http://img.discountpostersale.com/posters/IMPSX0080R/1/Audrey-Hepburn-Sabrina.jpg

All of which is perhaps Too Much Information.

Poet Guy also thanks AChild, greenmountaineer, kstarnes, and vrosej10 for their comments on older poems.

 

[bronzeage]

Oh I have one too
'Crash trash

Crashing crescendos of golden piss, more like. Give it up. A big, fake O.'

Rofl I must check the rest of mine! Do you think we pissed off a Cuddly person?

I went through all mine, just to check. Not a whisper.

 

[butters]

I went through all mine, just to check. Not a whisper.

has he targeted any males or is it only females?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

has he targeted any males or is it only females?

Aha sexist too

 

[butters]

Aha sexist too

well i don't know if it's just women he's targeted, but i certainly wouldn't be surprised.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

well i don't know if it's just women he's targeted, but i certainly wouldn't be surprised.

I wonder if our resident Anon is getting pissed off with someone else making a take over bid, I mean to say the new guy is making a mockery of Anons everywhere

 

[bulltlr]

chipbutty

Thank you for your comment on a mother's battle

 

[ishtat]

Thank you for the criticisms of "Contempt". You were a little too easy on me on the whole, I didn't quite get Chipbutty's comment at first but then I realised I had made an error in identifying one subject as female which implied there was another which was male. Thus CB criticised (correctly) a poem about the end of a relationship wheras my original intention had been to write about contempt. more generally.

It's not the first time I have written about one thing thinking the subject was another.

 

[butters]

Thank you for the criticisms of "Contempt". You were a little too easy on me on the whole, I didn't quite get Chipbutty's comment at first but then I realised I had made an error in identifying one subject as female which implied there was another which was male. Thus CB criticised (correctly) a poem about the end of a relationship wheras my original intention had been to write about contempt. more generally.

It's not the first time I have written about one thing thinking the subject was another.

join the club

 

[vrosej10]

Thanks guys for the comments on A Pregnant Portent. It is a bit less straight forward than a lot of my stuff and dream imagery. It was actually inspired by a photo from exhibit on that Austria monster Fritzl who kept his daughter prisoner and raped her.

Also thanks to Annie for the recommend. We are sisters at arms in this issue.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

I hope no one is bothered by my using the submission tool as a first-line of critique. I expect Many others edit multiple times before submitting. However, I find it speeds up my whole process if I get the big problems can be identified early so that I can be more scrupulous later-on, assured that I won't have to do a complete re-edit afterward.

For that reason, I hope you all will be especially brutal on me in the future. Point out problems which may, very well, leave my pieces crippled. It's a better alternative than accessorizing for an amputee.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Anon if you're going to send me shitty emails can you be more explicit about what pisses you off because I don't know what the fuck you're on about?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

and another thing if you can't stand the heat stay out of my fucking kitchen

 

[butters]

I hope no one is bothered by my using the submission tool as a first-line of critique. I expect Many others edit multiple times before submitting. However, I find it speeds up my whole process if I get the big problems can be identified early so that I can be more scrupulous later-on, assured that I won't have to do a complete re-edit afterward.

For that reason, I hope you all will be especially brutal on me in the future. Point out problems which may, very well, leave my pieces crippled. It's a better alternative than accessorizing for an amputee.

i don't imagine anyone is bothered, NS, but won't it work as well for you to put it up here? i know your last one didn't get much of the critique you required, though. the thing is, when you're submitting, it's sending your work out to a wider audience - which is great if you get the comments, but not so great if you then require lots of editing and have to pull down your old and replace with your rewrite. ok, it's not so very hard to do... and is entirely your own call. personally, i prefer to polish a bit before submitting, whether that's in my own wordpad before showing anyone at all, or on here. so long as it works for you and you feel it's helping you improve, then kudos

Anon if you're going to send me shitty emails can you be more explicit about what pisses you off because I don't know what the fuck you're on about?

hehehe

troll.com?

probably the same twerp who posted on whore frost. bless 'em.

 

[butters]

damn, at least 4 of my comments have gone awol. they showed up fine when i posted them - sigh.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I've blocked Lit feedback emails this end so although anyone may send them they won't arrive

 

[vrosej10]

To anon who commented on my poems. Thanks for the critique, it was useful to me. You could have posted with your name cause I don't general bite or bitch and your comments were valid.

 

[butters]

To anon who commented on my poems. Thanks for the critique, it was useful to me. You could have posted with your name cause I don't general bite or bitch and your comments were valid.

indeed. there are anons and anons. it wouldn't do to clump them all together

 

[UnderYourSpell]

indeed. there are anons and anons. it wouldn't do to clump them all together

at least our resident anon wasn't vicious not like the new version

 

[greenmountaineer]

Thanks to everyone for their comments on "The Irish Wake Table."

 

[PoetGuy]

Poet Guy thanks those who left comments on "Autobiography," including Anonymous, twelveoone, UnderYourSpell, and vrosej10.

He also thanks CuddlyAl for his comment on "Girl with Trim Ankles."

 

[butters]

thanks, guys, for your comments on Who wants to live forever?.

ah, annie - that's kind of the point, her not having exactly an 'easy' life she's looking up to heaven/garden of eden but only regrets not being there a little despite the hard work of working to live. i hoped to show how she felt about her life on Eartharth, beyond the gates of Eden. how it might be ever so 'umble, but there was a satisfaction in living it.

the ambrosial - well, it was a bit of a cheat anyway. food of the gods and all that, and they were never considered godheads. yes, it would maybe work better hyphenated, V. in the original before subbing i had it italicised but forgot that i had to upload it long ways round to keep that formatting.

bulltlr - thanks!

anon - why would she have known the earth was round? people didn't work that one out for a long time, did they?

 

[butters]

oh, and thanks to those who read, commented and voted on whore frost. x

 

[bogusagain]

Thanks everyone who commented on my poem 'the return'. I found them positive and informative whether they were critical or supportive points.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

anyone else had trouble getting on Lit today? I finally had to get in via google chrome and it's still slow loading