Transsexual Women 101

[FurryFury]

True dat!

 

[dave's thing]

Personally speaking, and without sexual inference (cz I have none), I just like to follow these discussions so I understand better.

 

[PhoebeGB]

Please lurk as much as you like LOL

 

[dave's thing]

Please lurk as much as you like LOL

TY... don't mind if I do!!

 

[PhoebeGB]

Now, the stated mission of GLBT Chatter is "Discussion of non-straight sexuality and life. Find support and friends." so here I am offering a chance to discuss and holding out my hand in friendship.

 

[TooKinkyCpleWV]

PhoebeGB I hope you do not stop posting. I have gotten a lot of reading your posts about the TS/TV lifestyle. I live in a very small town in WV. I have traveled a lot of the world and considered myself well traveled. I am 38 YO and have just recently discovered my bisexual side which still remains in the curiousity stage.

Something that became very clear to me was my attraction to ladies like yourself. Unfortunately, the internet and porn were all I had to go by until getting to know this forum. I had no idea the term "shemale" was so offensive to the people living this lifestyle.

I have put a great deal of thought on this subject while reading various posts about the lifestyle(not sure if lifestyle is the best word but I cant think of another). I admit that I was very turned on by the people I saw in the movies. The thought of a hard dick to live out my curiosities with that was attached to a body that still looked like a woman was very alluring. I think I have figured out why my attraction was there.

I am very hesitant to act on my bisexual side. There is still a very real and dangerous stigma to that where I live. I work in the public and if this was handled badly it could ruin my career. I think subconciously I fealt that if I were to meet one of the "shemales" like in the movie I could act out my bi curiosities with less fear of being outed so to speak.

What this basically amounts to is cowardice. I hate that we still live in this world where people fear living as they truly are.

I would like to thank you and all the other TV/TS folks on this board. You have enlightened me to a part of the population that I wanted to know for all the wrong reasons. Now I feel I want to know you all for the best reason. RESPECT. I respect you all for having the courage to follow your true path and live in a way that mnost feel is wrong.

Sorry for the long post but again thank you all for your enlightenment. I dont know when/if I will explore this side of myself in the "light" so to speak. My wife is fully aware of my curiosities so I have that on my side.

 

[Gi_Venus]

PhoebeGB I hope you do not stop posting. I have gotten a lot of reading your posts about the TS/TV lifestyle. I live in a very small town in WV. I have traveled a lot of the world and considered myself well traveled. I am 38 YO and have just recently discovered my bisexual side which still remains in the curiousity stage.

Something that became very clear to me was my attraction to ladies like yourself. Unfortunately, the internet and porn were all I had to go by until getting to know this forum. I had no idea the term "shemale" was so offensive to the people living this lifestyle.

I have put a great deal of thought on this subject while reading various posts about the lifestyle(not sure if lifestyle is the best word but I cant think of another). I admit that I was very turned on by the people I saw in the movies. The thought of a hard dick to live out my curiosities with that was attached to a body that still looked like a woman was very alluring. I think I have figured out why my attraction was there.

I am very hesitant to act on my bisexual side. There is still a very real and dangerous stigma to that where I live. I work in the public and if this was handled badly it could ruin my career. I think subconciously I fealt that if I were to meet one of the "shemales" like in the movie I could act out my bi curiosities with less fear of being outed so to speak.

What this basically amounts to is cowardice. I hate that we still live in this world where people fear living as they truly are.

I would like to thank you and all the other TV/TS folks on this board. You have enlightened me to a part of the population that I wanted to know for all the wrong reasons. Now I feel I want to know you all for the best reason. RESPECT. I respect you all for having the courage to follow your true path and live in a way that mnost feel is wrong.

Sorry for the long post but again thank you all for your enlightenment. I dont know when/if I will explore this side of myself in the "light" so to speak. My wife is fully aware of my curiosities so I have that on my side.

lol thank you TooKinkyCpleWV on behalf of myself.

 

[PhoebeGB]

I'd like to thank everyone for the support... both here and in PM's ... don't worry ... I haven't left

 

[TooKinkyCpleWV]

Please dont leave. I have more questions than answers LOL.

I think one question that is the most on my mind is this one. Do you feel that this, need for lack of a better word to live as an opposite gender is something ingrained in you from birth or do you feel your upbringing and atmosphere had more to do with it?

 

[Gi_Venus]

Please dont leave. I have more questions than answers LOL.

I think one question that is the most on my mind is this one. Do you feel that this, need for lack of a better word to live as an opposite gender is something ingrained in you from birth or do you feel your upbringing and atmosphere had more to do with it?

TooKinkyCpleWV you pose a controversial question. There is statistical data that indicates a higher percentage of transsexuals are born of mothers that experienced traumatic events while carrying in their pregnancy. Meaning it is a congenital characteristic. Transsexuals are created within the womb.
There is other data that shows that some are created from traumatic events and molestation in their childhood.

In my own case I fit both categories. My mother had some harrying adventures while carrying me and I was molested as a child. As a child I was not very gender oriented but never really felt comfortable with boys. In my early teens I had the realization of my true gender. I did not act on it until later in life however. Being ill at ease with yourself is not a comfortable thing.
Life as a male was not for me. I am much more comfortable with myself now and other people as well.

 

[CasinoNight]

Gi_Venus:

I always find it curious that straight people are so very concerned with what 'made' someone gay, or if they were they were born gay (or in your case born in the wrong body). To me it seems no more important than what made someone enjoy fast cars. Were they born with a desire to drive fast cars or was it nurtured, who knows, but more importantly who cares? They do and that's that. Does it ever annoy you being asked a question that you're potentially not equipped to answer yourself?

 

[TooKinkyCpleWV]

You misunderstand my purpose i think casino. I am not trying to pigeon hole anyone into anything. I just seek to better understand.

I am truly sorry to hear about the molestation you experienced. I am glad that you have been able to come to terms with the true you. I can only imagine how horrible it must feel to not be comfortable with the skin you are in so to speak.

And I am not sure if calling me straight would be completely accurate either. I am very curious about my bisexual side. I am very cautious though as I live in an area that is quite small town in thinking. I work very much in the public eye and have a career to consider.

And might i had Gi that your art is magnificent.

 

[CasinoNight]

You misunderstand my purpose i think casino. I am not trying to pigeon hole anyone into anything. I just seek to better understand.

Sorry, I wasn't talking specifically about you. I also don't think it's anyones intention to pigeonhole.

I'm aware that it's a human condition to try and make sense of things that are alien to them, I just don't understand why it's so important to so many people in relation to homosexual and transexuality. It's a question that gets asked again and again and again and again...

 

[Gi_Venus]

Gi_Venus:

I always find it curious that straight people are so very concerned with what 'made' someone gay, or if they were they were born gay (or in your case born in the wrong body). To me it seems no more important than what made someone enjoy fast cars. Were they born with a desire to drive fast cars or was it nurtured, who knows, but more importantly who cares? They do and that's that. Does it ever annoy you being asked a question that you're potentially not equipped to answer yourself?

You are you, what made you you is irrelevant. People judge and compare and categorize for their own comfort. They identify themselves to a norm and assess everything from that perspective. It is only an illusion. Normalcy is only an imaginary ideal. People are frightened and uncomfortable to that which they do not understand. They cling to an ideal as the us and them tribal ideal. It is old as time. The other tribe is the enemy, the robber of food sources and of children.

You are right why should it matter unless you are a rapist or maleficent sadist? I find the whole idea of normalcy to be ridiculous.
In that we are social creatures and forced to deal with each other, would it not be the wisest course to embrace diversity and there by eliminating conflict and ill will? We are a tribe, with the global networking of economics and information exchange we are of the planet earth. *grin* You think they will ever let Transsexuals into politics? Really global communities exist, look at these boards... I have lovely friends from all over the world. We have more in common when we look deeply at each other, even our enemies.

 

[PhoebeGB]

This may sound gruesome, but post-mortem studies of the brains of Male to Female Transsexuals have found that certain structures of those brains were more similar to a female brain than a male brain.

And before anyone asks, this was carried out on both hormone-treated and non-hormone-treated individuals.

This Dutch study was limited to a few individuals who had given permission for their bodies to be used for medical research after death.

 

[Gi_Venus]

This may sound gruesome, but post-mortem studies of the brains of Male to Female Transsexuals have found that certain structures of those brains were more similar to a female brain than a male brain.

And before anyone asks, this was carried out on both hormone-treated and non-hormone-treated individuals.

This Dutch study was limited to a few individuals who had given permission for their bodies to be used for medical research after death.

Physiology is always gross Interesting Phoebe.

 

[TooKinkyCpleWV]

Very interesting information Phoebe. It was funny cause as I was reading it I was thinking"wonder if the hormones did that?' and then you answered my question. Now that is service LOL

 

[PhoebeGB]

Here are the details of the scientific study for those who love reading medical journals.

 

[Wolfman1982]

PhoebeGB: I just want to say this, I love Gi_Venus deeply and I would never intentionally hurt her at all. So when you attacked me. I got extremely agitated , angry and pissed off in the American sense of the word pissed. Not the British English meaning, which means fucking drunk/intoxicated of alcohol. Because you attacked me on no other ground, that I had a fetish. And then you assumed the rest. Believe me, when I say this, I see Gi_Venus as a woman. And I have always seen HER as one. And I do NOT see her as the very bad word "shemale" at all. And she knows that, so Phoebe.. Understand this. You can´t go on a rambling rampage for no apparent reason. Just because a forum uses some times a sexual derogatory word. And what you did, was taking every thing out of context, and went fuck all crazy on every one in your proximity. And then you got casual damage which is NOT cool. Since you can´t always shoot with buckshots , since they can do more damage than the opposite.

Phoebe, if I shouted blackie, nigger (no offence to any black human being) darky/darkie , peyker/piker , paki. Then I would be extremely unopular in no time at all. And I would probably be punished by the justice system in Denmark, and I would be physically punished in jail. By the other inmates.
But if I put them in a context where the word meant the same, but I was explaining stuff about stuff and so forth. Then people would understand what it all was about. But since I am no racist, and no person who enjoys being a fucking cunt either for that matter. Then I don´t use them at all. And I am not a homo/bi/trans phobic person. Then I don´t really use the word shemale either. The first year I was around this forum. I learned all the small step/tap dances around those issues. And who taught me ? well one of them was a transsexual by the name of Stephanie, and I hold her in high regard when it comes to learning from somebody.

 

[PhoebeGB]

I had hoped to use this thread to have a discussion and answer questions, but it seems I am continuing to draw the wrong kind of attention because I'm the wrong kind of Transsexual to suit some people's tastes.

Hopefully I have posted enough information here to start the ball rolling for others to have meaningful dialogue on the subject without let or hinderance.



"Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish." - Douglas Adams

 

[Etoile]

I had hoped to use this thread to have a discussion and answer questions, but it seems I am continuing to draw the wrong kind of attention because I'm the wrong kind of Transsexual to suit some people's tastes.

Hopefully I have posted enough information here to start the ball rolling for others to have meaningful dialogue on the subject without let or hinderance.



"Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish." - Douglas Adams

You can't dictate what people want to respond to, though. It's not that YOU are the wrong anything, it's that people say what they want to say. If the interest is there, they'll respond appropriately. It's not about being too radical for people - it's about the conversation is what it is. I'm not talking about the free speech rule either...just that people will discuss what it's in their nature to discuss. You can't force discussion about other topics.

And pardon my supreme nerdliness, but it's "so long" not "goodbye". *hangs head in geeky way*

 

[PhoebeGB]

Okay I'll repeat and clarify...

I had hoped to use this thread to have a discussion and answer questions, but it seems I am continuing to draw the wrong kind of attention because I'm the wrong kind of Transsexual to suit some people's tastes (ie not a 'shemale'). That is a matter of my Gender Identity, and it's not going to change.
Hopefully I have posted enough information here to start the ball rolling for others to have meaningful dialogue on the subject without let or hinderance.



"So long, and thanks for all the fish." - Douglas Adams (hope that satisfies your Inner Geek, Etoile)

 

[Gi_Venus]

Okay I'll repeat and clarify...

I had hoped to use this thread to have a discussion and answer questions, but it seems I am continuing to draw the wrong kind of attention because I'm the wrong kind of Transsexual to suit some people's tastes (ie not a 'shemale'). That is a matter of my Gender Identity, and it's not going to change.
Hopefully I have posted enough information here to start the ball rolling for others to have meaningful dialogue on the subject without let or hinderance.



"So long, and thanks for all the fish." - Douglas Adams (hope that satisfies your Inner Geek, Etoile)

atta girl phoebe

 

[Gi_Venus]

PhoebeGB: I just want to say this, I love Gi_Venus deeply and I would never intentionally hurt her at all. So when you attacked me. I got extremely agitated , angry and pissed off in the American sense of the word pissed. Not the British English meaning, which means fucking drunk/intoxicated of alcohol. Because you attacked me on no other ground, that I had a fetish. And then you assumed the rest. Believe me, when I say this, I see Gi_Venus as a woman. And I have always seen HER as one. And I do NOT see her as the very bad word "shemale" at all. And she knows that, so Phoebe.. Understand this. You can´t go on a rambling rampage for no apparent reason. Just because a forum uses some times a sexual derogatory word. And what you did, was taking every thing out of context, and went fuck all crazy on every one in your proximity. And then you got casual damage which is NOT cool. Since you can´t always shoot with buckshots , since they can do more damage than the opposite.

Phoebe, if I shouted blackie, nigger (no offence to any black human being) darky/darkie , peyker/piker , paki. Then I would be extremely unopular in no time at all. And I would probably be punished by the justice system in Denmark, and I would be physically punished in jail. By the other inmates.
But if I put them in a context where the word meant the same, but I was explaining stuff about stuff and so forth. Then people would understand what it all was about. But since I am no racist, and no person who enjoys being a fucking cunt either for that matter. Then I don´t use them at all. And I am not a homo/bi/trans phobic person. Then I don´t really use the word shemale either. The first year I was around this forum. I learned all the small step/tap dances around those issues. And who taught me ? well one of them was a transsexual by the name of Stephanie, and I hold her in high regard when it comes to learning from somebody.

Wolfman *warm hugs* it is her thread. If people choose to leave it because of how she handles it so be it. I understand her intent as to its nature and I applaud it. Personally I think people are being very disrespectful but Etoile is right just ignore those that respond in a fashion that does not agree to ones projection. I think some of the poignant reactions here have been through mis-communication and misunderstanding. *grin* I know about such things having come from a family of which our family crest is a foot in mouth and *ahem* having placed my foot in own mouth on occasion.

*hugs to all*

 

[mylust]

Great post and great thread Phoebe.
As a post-op, woodworked woman I must agree that most people are completely lost where we are concerned. I will never forget the sexual experiences that helped me along on my journey, but they didn't define me then, and don't now.
The hardest part for me was trying to explain to friends and family that my need to make my identities match up didn't involve sex to any great extent. Most people seemed to think that I was gay, and that being up front about my sexual desires would be enough. Curiously, distinctly gay men never did turn me on. I have had and do have a number of gay friends, both female and male, but I knew that wasn't for me.
How do you explain to someone (with a strictly gay/straight frame of reference) that when the genitalia is all wrong there is no way to feel fulfilled?
Yes I had anal sex in transition. But it was more about the submissive side of accepted male/female relations than for the thrill. And it was mostly with men that identified themselves as straight or at most, bi. It was the psycho-sexual aspect of giving and pleasing my male partners than it was about my orgasms or theirs. It was about how much more "normal" (if you will) it felt to me to relate to men and women as a female than it ever was about who I found attractive and why.
One word of caution to trans women who are early in their journey: Sex with a completely straight man, either pre-op or post-op can be dangerous. No matter how horny they are prior to the act, I have witnessed some pretty severe cases of post-coital remorse, that either luck or grace of god got me out of. (you choose)

In terms of my journey, there have been many humorous, sad, joyful and reflective experiences along the way to where I am now, both sexual and non-sexual. I should probably write a book about it, but that would jeopardize my woodworked status, and unfortunately I don't believe society is ready to accept that yet.
Is a trans person engaging in deception? Some will see it that way, but trust me, transition is about honesty, being true to one's self.
If a trans person uses that as a litmus test, they will ultimately come to the right decision, about identity and sexuality, and hopefully find the right partner(s).