Transsexual Women 101

[CJontherocks]

I think this thread has an awful lot to offer. I'm stepping out on a limb here because I know very little about gender transitioning.

I wonder what it must be like to feel so very strongly about ones gender-misidentity (is that a word?) that a person would subject themselves to everything that comes with gender reassignment. I mean that must be such an overwhelming factor in your life that when it's all finished we'd hope you could sit back and finally say "aaaahhhhhhh." I think I would want to just stare at it all day long for weeks with a big grin I couldn't get off my face. But from what I'm getting, it doesn't stop there. There doesn't seem to be a point where you sit back and are finally satisfied, achieve total consciousness and live happily ever after. There's the secret past, the whispers, the boyfriend/girlfriend who maybe should or maybe doesn't need to know. The boss at work who maybe shouldn't know? The people who just don't get it. Not to mention the insensitivity, the hatred and the unspeakable atrocities that are often encountered from supposed fellow humans. And I'm guessing there's some kind of lifelong maintenance as well?

I can't imagine the emotional strength it must take to go through this change. That has to take some very big balls (if you'll pardon the expression). And I can't imagine what it must be like to not have that strength, or the money, or the support, or whatever else, to do it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

CJ, yeah, the maintenance is lifelong-- hormones have to be replaced. And the bitter truth is that some of the loneliest critters I have met are post op transwomen. Our culture generally sees them as too tall, too masculine in looks, to be attractive to hetero men. And transwomen are quite often not quite trusted amongst groups of women. Like it or not, they almost always grow up without the visceral experiences that girls go through.


Transmen have to be very very careful to maintain their masculinity. They tend to look extremely short, usually a little bit fattish-- because the skeleton had grown wider hips before the guy was allowed to start his transition.

Women learn from very early on that they can rely on male chivalry. Seriously. Women can say a lot of things to men without fear of reprisal. Transmen often have to learn the hard way, that they can't talk to other dudes, as men, in the way they did before transing. They'll get jumped. Transmen are often simply not strong enough or big enough for many "male" jobs.

 

[CJontherocks]

Like it or not, they almost always grow up without the visceral experiences that girls go through.

That's something I didn't even consider. One would think that if you feel like a girl and don't look like Richard Boone, you could make a pretty good girl. But much of what society holds as feminine and masculine is nurture, not nature. A masculinity or femininity coach was the first idea that popped into my head. And I mean the whole person concept, not just an Eliza Doolittle make-over. Is that something that's part of counseling or part of the process?

 

[Wendy_Summers]

I started transition and hormone treatments at age 50, so I know first hand that Stella is pretty much correct in all her statements.
The younger you start, the more pronounced the effects, starting later in life will still produce some pretty nice changes over time.
FtM transgenders in some ways are very lucky. They usuall only have to take testosterone, and it will not only help them build muscle but will also promote beard growth.
MtF transgenders usually take an anti-androgen such as spironolactone to inhibit the production of testosterone, and estrogen to promote feminine characteristics. Neither will totally stop hair growth such as facial hair or body hair, but the anti-androgen may slow it down just a little.
In MtFs the combination will soften the texture of the skin, soften the facial features a little, reduce muscle strength and mass, and promote breast growth. I've been taking hormones for about 5 years, and now have very full "B" cup size breasts.
During the fist six months to a year, they will tend to make you a bit moody. You may suddenly find yourself crying like a baby of the least little thing or for no real reason at all.
They did slow down my physical sex drive for awhile in the beginning, but I still seemed to crave the emotional aspect of it. I'm not sure if it's because I have become much more comfortable being with a man, but today my sex drive is stronger than ever.
Many transwomen say that although they were not sexually attracted to men in the beginning, suddenly find themselves craving and enjoying sex with men after taking hormones for awhile.
Hope all this helps a little.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's something I didn't even consider. One would think that if you feel like a girl and don't look like Richard Boone, you could make a pretty good girl. But much of what society holds as feminine and masculine is nurture, not nature. A masculinity or femininity coach was the first idea that popped into my head. And I mean the whole person concept, not just an Eliza Doolittle make-over. Is that something that's part of counseling or part of the process?

Sure, for them what can afford it. Most of us get what we can wherever we can.

Nobody is out there offering coaching or hormone oversight, or anything else that a transperson needs pro bono for the good of their souls... And transitioning can really mess up a career trajectory too!

(I'm happy to hear I wasn't too far out on the MTF side of the fence, Wendy)

 

[Wendy_Summers]

mylust,, I have never heard anyone define and discribe a transgender's thoughts and feelings any better than what you have. Thanks.

 

[M2VIIDS]

My Story, which I send with the hopes of becoming more informed...

I couldn't HANDLE reading everything in this forum, please forgive me for my impatience on that issue. I just don't see any point in reading about what's happened in the past... Well, I did, but I stopped seeing it after page 4. I'm not the most patient of people, so forgive me for saying anything that may offend someone that was mentioned earlier.

I would like to say that I saw in earlier posts in this thread, I noticed the pattern of people who gave great explanations about the reasoning behind sex-change operations, and that I applaud the lot of you who have such wonderful reasons for going through such a difficult and expensive change. I dated someone who wanted to go through the surgery, and I understand that transsexual people really DO feel female. My girlfriend proved that much to me, so I like to think that I'm tolerant of those who are transsexuals.

Thanks to "Eli", I kind of understand how HUGE the process of going through the transition from one sex to another is. From my understanding, the cost alone is frightening to a vast majority of people(such as myself).
$18,000 for the surgeries. And then, depending on the extent(not an expert in this mind you), you need to pay for hormone replacement, therapy that I was told lasts up to five years, and then, depending on where you live, your parents could disown you and tell you that you're an abomination. That was Eli's experience when she did so much as tell her parents about her desires. And I finally realized just how hard it was to have to go through that kind of thing. I'm being melodramatic, and a little... how to put it.......... emotional, let's say, about this issue since I was just a naive child when I was dating Eli(age back then was 16-17), and I suddenly lost all contact with her, so Eli tends to be a sensitive subject with me. Curse you, online relationships. -.-""

However, going through a sex-change operation requires bravery more than any troll can hope to muster. After all, ya' don't see trolls going around and doing THEIR thing in everyday life, do ya'?

I hope to post here later, since tolerance of all kinds is important for a society to move forward. And more than that, this newb hopes to get a response to his forum post. Being new makes ya' feel all awkward inside, so yeah...

Well, I guess I've shared my story. I just hope that Eli's found happiness by now. It's a lucky thing I move on quickly, and that I'm a callous person.


And... Just because I HAVE to be an ass...........
"Everything's better in Africa."
"Why the hell would you say that? People are suffering and dying there every day!! Don't make light of their problems!!!!"
"Of course I know about the problems in Africa.... Now, if only people HERE would suffer and die off."
-Courtesy of David Steele(my alias) and The Kick-ass Trident(no profile, never'll have one either. ^^"")

 

[Thick_Dick_Bi8]

My Personal Opinion

I am a single white male. I can truly say I identify as bisexual due to the fact that at one point in my life, I desired bi sex to such an extent that I simply craved it. It could have been a couple off a personals site that was looking to add a bi male to their bedroom activites, a female date in which case I would enquire as to if she had a male friend or some other similar situation.

I am like a great number of men here that I can do anything sexually with a man, sucking cock, fucking or even kissing when things get so extremely hot that in the midst of such an encounter nobody playing can control themselves, but, as far as intimacy goes, I didn't have a desire to lay next to a man and cuddle, hold each other ever so gently or anything of the like...that is why I love women.

That was 12 years ago. It was also then that I had my first sexual experience with that of a M2F Transexual WOMAN and the rest is history. I have dated now, exclusively, Transexual WOMEN since. Now, I have seen/heard expressions in the past and understand because there may be a large degree of truthfulness to it, that a man or that of a Transexual Woman knows what a man needs, wants and desires simply because of the fact that obviously a man knows because of his own body, his way around another man's body and because a Transexual WOMAN use to be a man (just the way I look at it).

So, this discovery for me gave me EVERYTHING I always desred, a soft feminine body, beautiful face, feminine fetures to include hands and feet (which I love), cock hardening tits and to top it off a very nice cock.

Am I still bisexual? Yes, in that I LOVE the "3rd sex" and or in that if I am with a Transexual WOMAN and she wanted me and another man at the same time where everyne plays, I have no problem with that. If thats not the case, I am fine with just her and still have an ass to rim, a cock to suck (if she desires), a nce tight ass to slide into or vice versa and I swear it is better than any woman with a strap on can provide.

 

[sarawithacock]

"Many transwomen say that although they were not sexually attracted to men in the beginning, suddenly find themselves craving and enjoying sex with men after taking hormones for awhile.
Hope all this helps a little."


I've always found it interesting how I was so certain of my sexuality(being attracted to women) before I realized what my true gender was. I had questions but because I was so certain that girls were what I wanted...what else was there to doubt?

It took a long time to figure out why seeing two women together made me cry.


Though of course now I do find a certain thrill in finding some men attractive but to be with a man physically is more an idle fantasy. My desire for and attraction to is quite dominantly with women.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I do not really find attraction to men, not really, but it is intimacy I crave. Women do this better. A gentle man who understands the nuances and subtleties of women intrigues me. Other wise I am not interested mostly I am attracted to women but if the right man came along I might be seduced, I would be conflicted, I have not shared intimate behavior with any one for a long time.

 

[hottchic]

I do not really find attraction to men, not really, but it is intimacy I crave. Women do this better. A gentle man who understands the nuances and subtleties of women intrigues me. Other wise I am not interested mostly I am attracted to women but if the right man came along I might be seduced, I would be conflicted, I have not shared intimate behavior with any one for a long time.

"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

They call it the golden rule and with good reason and you don't have to be religious to believe in this principle, certainly I do not consider myself religious.

The main thing I look for in a relationship is emotional support, deep, loving, caring, empathic, emotional support, and the fact that I know I am desired as much as I desire the person that I love.

I give emotional support to others because that is what I want from them. I am accepting of others and want to be accepted myself. In a relationship I see the person that I love as being beautiful and want to be seen as beautiful myself.

I have found that usually when it comes to emotional support and acceptance, women tend to be better at it.

In my experiance I have found that I can get all of this while at the same time being seen as beautiful myself from bi women.

If however a man is gentle, considerate, empathic and supportive in the way that I desire and sees my inner as well as outer beauty then I would also be attracted.

The sad truth is that through the way men are brought up, even in todays society, emotional intelligence does not rank high on their attributes. Some soft careing truly gentle men do escape this fate and manage to make it through to adult hood with their innate emotional intelligence still intact. Other boys grow up always feeling out of place and never really seeming to fit in, and many of these later in life come to the conclusion that they are trans.

For myself, I knew I was different from a very young age, softer, more feminine, more sensitive than my fellows, but because of the way that our society seems to be designed to straight jacket people into restrictive gender roles became frightened to express who I was. And in time grew ashamed of who I was.

Self acceptance is the light that shines in my life now, I see myself as beautiful inside and out and in doing so am able to see the beauty in others, sometimes even when they can't see it themselves.

My Journey is one of learning to be true to myself and love who I am