Trouble ... and strife....

[DeliciousMaiden]

Geraldine (Gina) Adams

Despite the heavy traffic, Gina manages to get to Hugh’s offices for shortly after midday.
She is half way there before she realises that her clothing is hardly smart, or sophisticated. She knows that it does not make her look the part of the "executive's wife", but though she has never wanted to let Hugh down with her appearance, she has no choice today.
She simply does not have the time to go back and change!

Sighing but resigned to do what she came to do as quickly as possible, Gina parks her car and makes her way hastily to her husband's place of work.
Looking up at the tall office block, Gina cannot help but be impressed and intimidated by the obvious symbol of her husband’s success.

Making her way to the elevator and pressing the button for the 4th floor, Gina cannot help wondering why it is that Hugh is so totally different when he’s in his own domain. His self-assurance and confidence are unparalleled. His business sense, his skill are much admired throughout the city and yet at home…

The doors open and Gina steps out.
She hesitates as she looks through the heavily expensive glass doors seeing the offices beyond.
This place has always been her rival.
Hugh had been happy; Happy at first and throughout the early years.
Happy that was until he had that promotion, then everything was pushed into the background, everything especially her.

So many times she had waited for Hugh to come home.
Meals were prepared, treats planned, ways to ease his stress.
She was determined to be supportive, yet craved his company.
His arrival home had become later and later and then, when he did finally deign to turn up, she found that he still had paperwork to deal with and after only the briefest conversation, he would disappear into his home office and continue to work, often until past midnight!

Gina had become lonely. She had felt rejected.
She had assumed at one time that a mistress kept Hugh away.
It had been the only explanation that made sense…
It was only years later when Gina acknowledged to herself that this assumption had probably been false, but by then it was too late.
She could never be sure of Hugh’s fidelity.
The idea of his betrayal had broken her, but she felt that he didn’t even notice her anymore.

And so… Gina set about trying to get Hugh’s attention;
small things at first, nothing shocking, just things to try to provoke him.
These trivial acts went unnoticed, however.
It was Hugh’s lack of response and Gina’s inability to communicate, which had built the foundation for the state of their marriage today.

Taking a deep breath, Gina pushed the glass door open.
She smiled as she recognised Felicia looking up at her.

“Mrs Adams! … Is.. is.. Mr Adams expecting you ?”

Gina smiled at the flustered girl who was trying not to let her surprise show.

”No Felicia, he’s not expecting me. Do you think you can tell him I need a word, when he next becomes available. It’s a private matter.”

Felicia smiled amicably and hid her curiosity.
Gina perched on the table as the girl rushed off.
She picked up one of the business brochures lying there.
It had been a while since she’d shown any interest in how Hugh’s job was going, she realised.

Almost immediately, Felicia was back before her.

”He… err.. says he’s free now… “

Gina eyed her with faint curiosity, but was suddenly unsure of how her impetuous visit would be received. She murmured a thank you and walked into Hugh’s office, closing the door behind her as she did so.

Hovering in the doorway, Gina sees her husband lost in the papers before him.
She walks slowly forward, waiting until he has finished his present task.
For years she has learned that work comes first.
She stands by his elbow and watches as he finally, slowly raises his eyes to hers.

“Gina!”

His voice and expression show surprise.

”Felicia said you could see me… “

She remarks in confused explanation.

“Gina? What’s wrong?”

Gina cannot help but smile at the concern in his voice.
She instinctively lays a hand lightly on his arm.

”It’s ok… nothing’s wrong… you know I hate to disturb you at work, but, I need a favour… “

Letting her hand slip from his arm, Gina crosses to the chair opposite him and explains the situation.

”… so you see… Tricia needs that copy today, as soon as possible… I should have mentioned it yesterday but… “

Gina actually found herself blushing as she looked down to study her toes as they peeked out of her sandals. Raising her eyes again she appeals to him,

”I wouldn’t ask you if it weren’t important, not just to me, the whole committee… “

Gina smiles in relief as Hugh agrees immediately.
She watches amazed with the efficiency with which he makes arrangements and calls Felicia in to arrange a courier.

“... And tell them to wait; the recipient will need the materials sent on to their printer. We’ll cover the costs.”

She watches him as he lookss reassuringly at her from behind the desk.
A mere ten minutes and all is taken care of.

“There Gina, no problem at all.”

Gina gives an answering smile.

”No problem, but very generous all the same… thank you Hugh…”

Gina stands and fights the urge to lean over and kiss his cheek.
This is a working domain, she tells herself and besides, she reminded herself, they didn’t do that kind of thing anymore.

She stands and hesitates.
Hugh watches expectantly.
He expects her to leave immediately.
She expects to chicken out and not offer the olive branch.
She clears her throat, almost nervously.

”Hugh… I… I was wondering… do you have time for lunch… I… “

She feels her pale cheeks tinge with a slight pink.

”It’s just that … last night… I… I’m sorry I got … well.. you know…
It was stupid of me… I … wondered if you’d let me buy you lunch… to try to make up for it… ?”

She eyed her husband self-consciously.
It was the first time she’d put herself on the line for years.
After all the shit she threw at him yesterday, he was bound to throw her invitation back in her face.
And to try to get him away from the office was setting herself up for defeat.

The speech now made, Gina braced herself for the inevitable rejection, but at least she had tried to make amends, in some small way, she consoled herself.

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

I still can’t get over how incredible Gina looks. She was acting “skittish” like a young filly, like she is going out on a first date with a new beau. She asks me to lunch, I even think she may be blushing. And damn if I don’t feel the same. I can feel the rush of blood to my extremities, all of them. I hear my pulse pound in my ears.

“Gina, please, lets just forget last night.” I didn’t want to even think about last night again.

“I don’t know what to say! I mean I know what to say. I just didn't expect this. I’d love to go to lunch by you.” Not exactly suave, but certainly earnest.

It is clear we are somehow both uncomfortable, but with a nervous energy that we hadn’t experienced since early in our marriage. It actually feels good to have Gina on my arm as I escort her to the lift. She leans into me as we wait for the car, and again on the way down.

Lunch is in a cosy little place that Gina knows of. I can’t concentrate on my meal, whatever it is I ordered, some kind of fish. I watch Gina’s every move. Every time our eyes meet, she gives me this cute little smile, brushes her neck, nervously flips her ponytail, and then immediately blushes. At one point, Gina asks me if I would show her the corporate boardroom, but it comes out “corporate bedroom” and the blush goes down her chest and all I can think of now is how I wish I actually had a corporate bedroom, if only for the afternoon.

Neither of us seems to want lunch to end. I certainly don’t and Gina seems equally reluctant to part. I suggest she is obliged to see me back to the office, after all, she asked me to lunch and it is her duty to ensure my safe return. This evokes a giggle from her, a sound I haven’t heard from her in years.

The thought crosses my mind that the state of our marriage is my fault. Too much attention to work. First the promotion kept me busy. Then I started my own firm. I didn’t even discuss it with Gina at the time. Did I put the calluses on my wife’s perky personality? I did it all out of love for Gina, but it never occurred to me until just now that maybe I’d taken something else from her she valued more…

We stroll along the walkway back to the building, reminiscing about the early days when everything came so hard to us, before the money got really good, before our societal standing began to rise. We’re both silent as we wait in the elevator lobby, thinking of times gone by.

We return well after the normal lunchtime, so there are only a couple of people getting on the elevator with us. They get off on the fourth and fifth floors, leaving Gina and me alone for the rest of the ride up. Then the elevator gets stuck between floors.

Gina gives out a little startled cry and instinctively nestles herself under my arm. I give her a reassuring hug and tell her not to worry. This is not a totally uncommon occurrence in the building.
“I’m sorry about this Gina, it looks like we’ll be stuck her about a half hour.”

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Geraldine (Gina) Adams

“Gina, please, lets just forget last night.”

I looked up at Hugh and smiled gratefully.
I hadn’t expected to be “forgiven” so easily…
I had been sure that after leaving me without even a word this morning that Hugh would actually be angry still…
Hugh didn’t care about infidelity, but for appearances sake, he would not want his wife to disgrace him, become … indiscrete …

“I don’t know what to say! I mean I know what to say.
I just didn't expect this. I’d love to go to lunch with you.”

His enthusiasm was surprising. I found the flush heating my cheek even more hotly.
I eyed my husband. Why the hell did I feel shy… uncertain… why was he actually looking at me?

Self-consciously I tugged at the collar of my blouse.

”I.. I hadn’t intended to disturb you at work, Hugh… I was.. dressed for the house… lunch is the least I can do… if.. if you don’t mind being seen out with me like this..?”

I laughed nervously as Hugh insisted I looked fine.
As if to prove the fact, he offered me his arm with a smile.
I looked at it, momentarily stunned.
Again the question, “How long had it been since he … “
I slipped my arm into his and walked to the lift with him.
Walking with him, making trivial conversation, the office, the house… it all seemed so natural and yet, so strange…
I realised that I’d missed our casual closeness.
I watched Hugh as he pulled out into the traffic and wonder for possibly the hundredth time where it all went wrong and where we lost each other…

********************************************

I picked a place that was a bit out of the way.
I didn’t want to meet up with any of the Guild and I wasn’t dressed for anything too formal.
The place was cosy, intimate, more so as we were directed to a corner table.
But I knew that the food was good and that Hugh would enjoy it.
It was only at the end of the meal that I realise that both he and I had eaten very little.

We sat for an hour in total, toying with the first and main course and sensibly giving up on desert, opting for coffee instead.
We were no longer used to spending so much time in each other’s company.
Conversation went in fits and starts.
We stuck to “safe” topics, the Guild, work, the house…
Why was I so nervous being at close quarters with my own husband?
I watched Hugh shrug out of his jacket, my eyes taking in his muscular torso.
I tried to ignore the track my thoughts were taking… last month had been the last time… I was sure… yes.. in my affair-free period, short as it was…

I started and tried to remember what he’d just been saying.
I blushed and tried to focus on the food, the conversation…
Work… I was releaved … ohh I could show an interest there.
I responded quickly trying to appear that I’d been attentive rather than eyeing up his body!

”That sounds fascinating Hugh.. I’ve lost touch with all you do, perhaps you could show me the corporate bedroom, some time?”

It isn’t until I see his widened eyes and his suggestive smile that I realise what I’ve said!
My cheeks burn hotly and I fiddle with my hair, looking away, unable to meet his eyes.
Fuck! I must not start getting the hots for my husband!
I just don’t need the complication!
I cannot afford to get involved with him.
Over and over again I remind myself that things work as they are.
We are convenient, mutually complimentary, work well together.
Our parallel lives really work!

Pleased that I’m once more in control, my mind accepts the situation.
I worked that out years ago.
Happiness is an add-on, not an element of marriage.
Then Hugh looks up and smiles flirtatiously, insisting that I accompany him back to the office to ensure his “safe” return.
I cannot help but giggle. The twinkles in his eye, making me smile widely.
It is impossible not to flirt back at him.
I’d forgotten just how it felt when he looked at me like that.
His banter and teasing were now a revelation;
Reminding me what it used to be like to date him, how it was when we were newly weds…

As if reading my thoughts, we lapse into companionable conversation on the way back to the car, then throughout the journey back to the office.
Our first date, our first flat, our first car ….
Our first….
We both blush and look at each other deciding not to go there.

By now we’re stood waiting for the elevator.
I know that he’ll soon go back to his work and as ever forget about me.
I know that I’ll go home and get things sorted there, so I can be out most of the evening in preparation for the fundraiser.
I know that Hugh will probably drag in late as he’s had an extended lunch and I’ll be eating alone tonight, if at all.
Somehow, I don’t want to “go out”, complicate things … but it could not be avoided.
I know Greg will be around tomorrow evening when I go to Tricia’s.
Hugh is busy, so he won’t be accompanying me there, or maybe I just didn’t mention it and give him the option?

Not many husbands will be there. It is enough that they dutifully turn up to the Saturday events and we wives know not to push our luck.
Greg of course cannot avoid the congregation in his own home!
Shit, that was going to be complicated. I sure didn’t trust him not to do anything… foolish…

The lift arrives. We step in.
I glance at Hugh, who seems equally lost in thought.
I try to bite back a sigh.
Greg.. fuck… I was going to have to do something about him!

The jolt pulls us both out of our separate musings!
I gasp and move closer to Hugh.
I suddenly remember I hate confined places!
His smile and hug is reassuring, but his words are not what I want to hear.

“I’m sorry about this Gina, it looks like we’ll be stuck her about a half hour.”

Oh God! I try unsuccessfully to stay calm.

”Half an hour! Can’t your hit the alarm for God’s sake?
They must be able to get this thing open?”

Typically I revert to snapping. I hate losing control and more than that I hate showing I’m scared. I look round the lift as if searching for an escape hatch, which is ridiculous. I realise I’m beginning to panic and make an effort to calm down.
I turn my eyes back to Hugh and speak in softer tones.

”It… won’t take longer.. than half an hour, will it?”

I ask, needing reassurance and forgetting to pretend I’m angry rather than scared…

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

”Half an hour! Can’t your hit the alarm for God’s sake?
They must be able to get this thing open?”

I am startled by the sudden change again in Gina’s demeanor. To me, this is an opportunity to get us back on the right track but Gina is clearly irritated by the inconvenience.

”It… won’t take longer.. than half an hour, will it?”

And now a hint of panic in her voice. I had forgotten Gina is just a bit claustrophobic. She looks like she wants to escape. Escape me or the lift?

I audibly sigh and Gina looks at me expectantly. What I want to do is grab her up in my arms, kiss her and make love to her. But the last couple of hours have been so good, I am scared of getting last night’s reaction. What else can I do? I give her another reassuring hug.

“Gina. When I was making up the programme for you, I realized it’s been years since I actually helped you with a guild function. I think I’d like to come with you tonight, if that’s alright!” I smiled at her, but noted the startled look on her face. Well, it had been a long time since I last done anything more than make the obligatory appearances.

“Things at work are going well here and the staff can take care of the few things I have outstanding. How about I get out of here early and we go home together."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina (Geraldine) Adams

I try not to look around the lift in horror, instead I look up at Hugh.
He must be able to sort this all out! He sighs, but offers no solution.
He merely hugs me, as if dutifully and begins to talk about mundane things, no doubt by way of distraction.

“Gina. When I was making up the programme for you, I realized it’s been years since I actually helped you with a guild function. I think I’d like to come with you tonight, if that’s alright!”

That got my attention alright!

”Tonight? .. At.. at Tricia’s?”

I question faintly watching as he nods.

”But… your work … I can’t be there late… I… “

He sweeps away all my objections.

“Things at work are going well here and the staff can take care of the few things I have outstanding.”

I nod accepting his offer. What else can I do?
Shit! It was going to be awkward, to say the least!
I knew Greg would be deliberately lurking around, but …. If Hugh was there at least Greg wouldn’t try anything too obvious.
Perhaps it was for the best.
I grinned; the irony of my husband’s presence protecting me from the possible indiscretion of a lover was not lost on me.
Hugh caught my expression and smiled in return.
I blushed faintly telling myself I did not feel guilty about using him.

”How about I get out of here early and we go home together?"

Again I look at him as if he’d gone mad.

”Leave work early? But Hugh, it’s barely 2 pm.
I don’t have to be at Tricia’s until about 6 pm. Surely you’re needed here?”

I look up at him curiously, unable to fathom his expression.
I speak softly, guiltily almost.

”I never intended to mess up your day, Hugh… “

His eyes are on mine, but I just can’t read what he’s thinking.
His words even no longer make sense.

”I thought your work came first… “

I say quietly, the hurt and confusion audible in my voice.
I’d learned that work was top priority years and years ago!
Hugh looks as if he’s about to say something, but just then the lift jolts and sets off again on its way to our floor.

”Thank goodness… “

I whisper.

”I told you it wouldn’t be long…”

Hugh comments and smiles gently.
I nod agreement, but know that apart from being trapped in a confined space, I did not want to risk being trapped in such close quarters with my husband.
I didn’t do closeness with him anymore.
Besides which, I was finding him more and more … complex … usually he was so easy to read, to manipulate, to exist beside.

The doors slide open.
I step out of the lift, taking a steadying breath, telling myself;
“Come on Gina … you can do this … it’s only Hugh after all…”

Then I turn and he gives me that gorgeous smile;
the smile that used to curl my toes and make my insides leap.
Fortunately it had long since lost its effect on me.
So why do I blush and look away?
Shit!!!

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

Sometimes it takes a slap in the face to make you realize what has been staring you in the face all along. And I was just slapped in the face, figuratively speaking.

Gina's confusion at my willingness to join her and help her tonight has made me realize just how neglected she's been feeling. Even moreso when I suggested making an early afternoon of it here at work.

Well, that's the past. Today's deals have made the need to work secondary and if that means I can salvage this marriage, then secondary it will be. From now on, Gina comes first. Starting right now.

"Sure Gina, why not..." I begin offering as the lift lurches and starts up again, depositing us on our floor.

"Felicia? Oh good. Felicia, I'm taking the rest of the day off. Please make sure things are wrapped up here will you? Thanks."

I grab my coat and hat and turn to Gina.

"That's it! I'm ready!" Gina is still staring at me as if I were something of a madman. Back to the lift and Gina looks at it a bit warily. I assure her that we've never experienced two failures in the same day and true to my word, it deposits us back in the lobby without problem.

"You drive Gina." when we get to the car. I want to watch her some more, drink in this new, this rejuvenated Gina, with my newly liberated eyes.

Everytime Gina looks at me, from that moment in the lift, during the drive, and all the way home, everytime she looks at me, her eyes widen and she blushes.

And every blush reminds me again of how long it's been since we've made love and the thought of making love to Gina again is slowly making my blood quicken.

The details of our conversation are unimportant, save that I take several opportunities to lean in and speak to Gina as if to not be overheard. Each time, I make sure that Gina can feel my breath, warm in her ear.

By the time Gina rolls the car into our driveway, her breathing seems a bit labored to me. I hop out of the car and quickly go around so that I can help Gina from her seat.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina (Geraldine) Adams

Out of the lift finally, I hover and watch whilst Hugh strides into his office.

"Felicia? Oh good. Felicia, I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Please make sure things are wrapped up here will you? Thanks."

I smile in amusement as the girl opens and closes her mouth like a goldfish.
I look catch her eye and shrug. Neither of us knows why Hugh’s acting so out of character.
Guilt complex? Oh God! Was he fucking around too?
Suddenly watching my husband walking towards me with coat and hat in hand and wonder.
But last time when I .. suspected … he hadn’t been home at all.
Now he was suddenly concerned about being home?
Covering his tracks maybe?
Well he could do what he wanted… I told myself.
It was our unspoken agreement.
… So why did the idea of him with someone else hurt so much…
But … who was I to preach much less expect fidelity!

"That's it! I'm ready!"

I look up at him. Damn this just doesn’t make sense!
Walking towards the lift, Hugh assures me it is perfectly safe and that two failures in one day are unheard of. I answer cryptically;

”Just because something is unheard of, doesn’t mean it won’t happen Hugh,”

As I glance pointedly back at his abandoned office and a now harassed Felicia.
The lift moves swiftly this time. Still I’m very aware of him stood next to me, his eyes constantly on me. Since when did he look at me, much less notice me.
His hand brushes my arm reassuringly, then we are set down in the lobby.

”OK?”

I sigh in relief and nod. He puts his hand lightly on my arm and guides me through the lobby where I direct him to the car, realising he must have commuted in this morning, or got a lift… “Who from?….” I ignore the nagging question.

"You drive Gina."

That seemed logical, as this was my car.
As we got in my mind went over the contents of the glove compartment, back seat, boot … had I left anything there that would … well … tell Hugh more than he wanted to know?
My mind racing I pulled out into the afternoon traffic.
What was wrong with me?
Usually I’d be amused that Hugh might stumble upon some … evidence … of my infidelities, he’d find the things I usually planted and then say nothing!
No matter how obvious, he remained silent on the subject.
Perhaps that is what he expected me to do with his present … fling.

I looked over at him and found his eyes on me. Smiling nervously, I blushed and concentrated on driving again.
Possibilities raced through my mind… he’s having an affair … he’s trying to catch me out … I glanced again, finding his eyes still on me. That would make a change. If he wanted to know what I was doing then … no… it couldn’t be that he gave a damn … maybe he wanted a divorce!
Whatever else was going on, I didn’t want that … and not just for the financial reasons, I realised!

As the town traffic is negotiated, I relax back for the short trouble-free drive to the suburbs where we live. Hugh leans over flipping the switch on the radio stations, scanning through the presets. His voice is close to my ear as he comments on my choice of music. Teasing as he hears the country channel, commenting that he didn’t realise that I liked that kind of music. I shrug and flick a switch to the classical station.

”This is more me, you think?”

I comment quietly. He looks at me consideringly and reaches out to flick back to the country station.

”I don’t know what is more you, Gina… “

He comments softly in my ear.

I sigh and reply.

” … and I have no idea what is you … “

Happy to have the excuse of pulling of the main route and negotiate the local streets I try to ignore Hugh at my side. Over and over I tell myself;
“We’re almost home. It’ll all be normal then.
Hugh will retreat into his den; he’ll clam up, get busy and totally forget the offer he made about that evening.

The more I thought about it, the more likely that scenario seemed.
He would get some call, some emergency and have to rush away…
Perhaps he had a date? Then he could use work as an excuse!
But he couldn’t have known I’d stop by… so…

I pulled thankfully to our drive.
I didn’t want to have to deal with this.
We were back on my territory now, home ground.
I couldn’t let my mind run crazy, just because Hugh felt like time off.
It wasn’t as if he wanted to be with me, it was about duty at best, looking good in front of his colleagues maybe?
For all I knew, he scheduled fake meetings all the time, to get some peace away from the office.
Maybe there was a reason he just didn’t want to be there today?

I look up and see Hugh holding the door open and smiling.
I can’t avoid it, so I put my hand in his and unfold myself from the driver’s seat.
His hand is warm and strong, but I don’t want to think about that.
I drop his hand subtly as I turn to flick the central locking.
Turning I walk in front of him and fit my keys in the lock.
The door swings open and I move inside, hanging the keys by the door and walking down the hall into the kitchen.
Any minute now, I know I’ll hear the den door closing...

I n the kitchen, I busy myself making a pot full of fresh coffee.
Maybe I’ll take Hugh some when it’s ready …
I stand by the sink, looking out to the garden.
I stretch realising how tense I am and sigh heavily.

I didn't ask for much anymore.
I'd lowered my expectations hadn't I?
It was enough to want to be wanted and so much easier if that person who desired you wasn't your husband.
So much easier to drop him before you got involved, before he dropped you.
I'd shelved the ideal of a husband who wanted me, loved me...
I didn't want or need that anymore.
This was independence... it was freedom it was ...

How the hell did I get into this mess with my marriage … ?

I brushed a hand impatiently across my eyes, reminding myself that Gina Adams did not cry, Gina Adams did not care and needed no one!

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

I help Gina from the car and follow her up the steps, watching her butt wiggle up the steps. So different from last night, that dark thought momentarily furrows my brow.

Gina heads straight to the kitchen, suddenly quiet. As if the house is her 'home turf' in contrast to my office. That has to change, so I follow her towards the kitchen.

I watch Gina start a pot of coffee and then she just stood there, looking out the window, deep in thought. She looked so tense and even sighs.... I step into the kitchen and walk up behind her.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts she appears to not hear me. My hands wrap around her waist, startling her for a moment. She starts to pry at my hands but I don't let her get loose. I just hug her tighter to my chest.

Tears come to her eyes as she give up the struggle, her shoulders slump and she leans back against me.

"Gina, talk to me. Tell me what to do. I'll do it. I want it to be the way it was when we were first married."

"I've missed you."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina (Geraldine) Adams

I jump as I feel his hands about my waist.
Hugh!
How long had he been there?
What was he doing in the kitchen?
This wasn't what was supposed to happen!
Since when did he start writing his own script!

But I can't let the intimacy continue.
Hugh's hands are draped intimately about my waist, stroking and holding.
In a panic I move my hands to cover his and try to wrench them away.
I can feel the warm bulk of his chest behind me as it presses now against my back, as he draws me closer to him.
Why is he doing this?
Why now?
I know I need to pull away, but he won't let me.
I am held against him as his body heat seeps into me.
Damn. I still want to be held by him.
Inspite of what I tell myself over and over, I still want it all.

The realisation defeats me.
I no longer fight.
I feel him tighten his hold and press my body against his.
I try to turn my head away from him.
I don't want him to see how much this intimacy hurts.

"Gina, talk to me. Tell me what to do. I'll do it.

I numbly shake my head.
I can't talk to him anymore.
I can't tell him my fears, I have no right to question his fidelity.
If we open that can of worms, acknowledge what has been happening between us, it would be the beginning of the end.
I can't let him know how I still feel, how, despite my behaviour I still want and need him.
I'll get over it... tomorrow maybe, I'll get things in perspective.
If he lets me go, then I'll be able to think straight again ... maybe ...

"I want it to be the way it was when we were first married."

God it was so different then.
We didn't have that much, but we were a couple, together ... then came his career...

"I've missed you."

Still I try to pull away and he won't let me.
My head is resting on his chest.
I try to bite my tongue, but the words still come out.

"When? ... when did you have time to miss me Hugh?"

I try to hold back a sob.

"It can't be like it was at first... it's been spoiled ... you and I, we just lost what held us together ... this ... this is what our marriage is now ... and we have to accept that ... or... "

I couldn't bring myself to say it.
I'd said too much already!
If he wanted out I'd given him the perfect opportunity to say it.
I braced myself knowing he would say that it was no longer enough and that he was leaving me.
Damn... why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut?

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

"It can't be like it was at first... "

Gina, so upset. Her eyes filled and overbrimming. Rattling on, saying perhaps too much. No matter.

I turn her in my arms.

"Then let's make it into something new Gina! It's not too late. I can't be too late. I don't want it to be too late!"

I kiss at the tears on her cheek and then on her full lips. I can feel her lips quiver.

My tongue brushes across her lips.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina (Geraldine) Adams

Hugh turns me to face him, but I look down, away, anywhere but at him.

"Then let's make it into something new Gina! It's not too late."

His words take me by surprise and I raise my eyes to his, forgetting about the tears brimming over.

"It can't be too late. I don't want it to be too late!"

I look at him incredulous.
He wanted to ... save this marriage?!?

As if to reassure me, Hugh's kisses are gentle and tender.
I should pull away, break the spell, but I don't.
Without warning the soothing kisses cease and Hugh covers my mouth with his.
The movement of his soft warm lips upon mine makes me gasp lightly. It has been so long..!
That tongue teases at my lips and I shiver as the tingle shoots through me.
I realise that I have ached for the tenderness, the intimacy he now offers, but could I give myself up to him again?
Can I let him get this close?

Although I crave his soft tender kisses, I cannot let this continue.

With effort, I break free of his lips and pull against his grasping hands.

"Noo! .. Please... don't Hugh..!"

My voice pleads with him to let me go, to stop making me feel this again.
My voice holds a hint of the fear and the desperation not to let my husband get close.

"I can't do this ... I can't ... "

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

Gina's lips soften as I kiss her but then she pulls away from me.

"Noo! .. Please... don't Hugh..!"

Her voice is pleading with me.

"I can't do this ... I can't ... "

But her body is betraying her emotions.

I kiss her again. Fully and deeply. One hand goes around her waist to the small of her back, as I cradle her head in my other hand.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

"Oh... Hugh... no... "

He kisses me again.
His mouth covers mine it imprisons my mouth and moves sensuously.
His tongue flicks between my lips and then he holds my head, a hand still at my waist and he presses moving passionately and urgently.
I can't remember when he last kissed me with the same ... need.

I move my mouth beneath his.
His urgency sparking the aching in me.
Our mouths move together hungrily as I feel his hand lacing through my hair and drawing circles on my back as he moulds me closer.
I moan softly and surrender to this passionate embrace.

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

Like the night before, I pick Gina up, cradling her in my arms and carry her upstairs.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

Like the night before, we're half way upstairs before I realise it.

My mind is telling me to pull away from Hugh.
I want to be there, wrapped in his arms, secure, but this is a mistake.
Being with Hugh is not security.
I can't rely on this, trust it.. whatever... it is....

In a minute I'll pull away, I'll tell him, I'll put the distance between us ...

But we're already at the top of the stairs and I'm still in his arms....

Dammit!

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

I carry Gina into the bedroom, kicking off my shoes as I approach the bed. Another kiss as I gently deposit her on the bed and cover her body with mine.

My lips and tongue explores hers. Her neck, nibbling on her earlobes....

"I love you Gina, it's been..... too long."

My fingers begin to work at the buttons on her blouse and caress along the top of her collar bone.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

We're at the top of the stairs and he's carrying me to the bedroom.
He kisses me and I find myself gently put upon the middle of our bed, the bed I slept in alone last night.

This time Hugh does not move away, somehow his shoes have been discarded and he climbs onto the bed.
If only he would leave to cross the room, break the contact, then I could get my head straight, but his body covers mine and presses gently downwards.

I feel his hard torso, feel the hardness of his cock as it nestles between my legs.
His mouth covers mine and we share another sensual kiss.
His mouth moves to graze downwards to my neck.
I flinch remembering the marks there, but Hugh ignores them, kissing lightly where those marks must still be visible.
He drags his tongue upwards and moves to my ears as I moan softly.
His breath is hot on my ear as he whispers.

"I love you Gina, it's been..... too long."

So long since we were together like this.
Our sex life had become mechanical, like scratching an itch.
Hugh never showed a need for my body.
He never showed he loved me.
So... why now...?
Surely it had been too long to go back to the way things must have been once.
I had tried so hard, for such a long time, not to be in love with him.
If I didn't love him, it wouldn't hurt.
Besides, how could I love him when I did... what I did... ?

"Hugh... no... "

I gasp quietly as his hands move to the buttons of my blouse.

"We... can't do this... it's... not the right time.... "

I protest weakly.
How could I make love to him when only yesterday ... ?
There was so much unsaid between us, such a barrier...
This was foolish, would only complicate matters...

Then his hand grazes along my collar bone and I gasp and close my eyes fighting for the strength to resist him.
How could I even begin to explain, even to myself that this wasn't ... right...

I mustn't let him make me love him again...

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

Gina protests but only weakly.

I leave a trail of kisses, nipping with my teeth through my lips, over her the tops of her breast, tweeking her nipples through the material, past her bra and onto her sweet tummy.

Tonguing the skin just under the waistband of her slacks.

Then retracing my route, more kisses and nips back up her torso. Softly biting her nipples, her neck, her lips again.

Our legs intertwine, one of mine between hers and one of hers between mine.

Another kiss and I roll us over so her weight is on me and I slip her blouse from her shoulders.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

"God... Hugh... "

I moan as he kisses along my body.
His mouth, his tongue work at my breasts.
I gasp as he teases my nipples and shiver as he moves downwards to graze along my abdomen.
Hit tongue darts erotically beneath my waistband, then once again her returns, reversing the pattern until his mouth is back on my lips again.

How long has it been since he did this?
Hugh seems to be able to tease and stimulate and taste all of me.
His body is pressed against mine now as we kiss, our legs are tangled on the bed.
He moves to rock and manoeuvre me ontop of him.
My blouse falls almost effortlessly from my shoulders.

I look down at Hugh.
His breathing is ragged and so is mine I realise.
I reach a hand out and tenderly stroke his face, ruffle his hair, smile as if seeing him for the first time.
I catch my breath forcing myself to calm, to be sensible.
His eyes are on mine watching, questioning.

It seems to me that we have never been so intimate, so open.
I realise that he has made my body ache for him.
It must have been like this in the beginning.
I look at him with need and longing, wanting so much more than a fuck... so much more of what I've been missing...

I look at my husband: He's loving, desireable, sexy ...
What the hell had I been doing over the past couple of years?
Where was the guarantee that he was going to stick around, that it would be alright?

I move my body to roll off Hugh and move to the side of the bed, making sure we're not touching.

"I guess I should begin to get ready for the meeting ... time soon goes ... "

I mutter as a feeble excuse, not daring to look Hugh in the eye.

"Maybe I'll take a bath or.. "

I stop my speech.
I catch my breath.
I want to get to the bathroom, lock the door and cry.
Cry rather than scream all the questions, all the frustrations
Hugh:

I want to ask him why he left me all those years ago... left me for his work...
I want to ask him why he's spent years not caring and why now all of a sudden he seems to want to make amends.
I want to ask him why he loves me and if he loves me, why he has never acknowledged my infidelities, why he always accepts ...
I want him to prove to me that it can be different, that this isn't just a mad one off to appease his conscience or keep me dangling.


I meet his eyes then.
My expression broken, barely holding back the sobs I'm trying to hide from him.
Despite my intentions, the confession is wrought from my lips.

"Hugh ... I want you ... so bad ... but... "

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

Both of us breathe ragged little breathes.

I watch Gina try to control herself and am confused by her indecision. I can see she wants me physically, and for that matter emotionally. Something is upsetting her. Maybe she's feeling guilty about the way she's been acting or about what she's been doing.

Gina attempts to break contact rolling away from me.

"I guess I should begin to get ready for the meeting... Maybe I'll take a bath or.. "

I take hold of her arm, not letting her get up, but she really doesn't try. Our eyes meet. I can see she is full of conflict.

"Hugh ... I want you ... so bad ... but... "

"But? Why does there need to be a but, Gina?"

I pull her back onto me. And kiss her again. Hard. I want her to feel how much I need her.

"Gina.... Whatever it is that I've done or that you think I've done, I'll fix it. Please don't go yet."

I pull her onto my chest, just to let her lie their. I feel her eyes wet my chest. Maybe she's feeling guilty about her affairs. But I've never felt that I owned her or her body. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I should have been the raging jealous husband.

It's just not part of who I am. But have I ever told her that? My desire for her has never waned. And I must have her. I must.

"Gina." I whisper her name again. Roll over on top of her again. My hand strokes her face and hair. Another kiss, my hand finds the fullness of her breast.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

His arm is on mine, his eyes delve into mine, as if trying to understand, make sense…

"But? Why does there need to be a but, Gina?"

Why indeed. It feels so right, but it must be so wrong, too risky…
Hugh refuses to break contact.
He pulls my arm and draws me back onto the bed with him.
I open my mouth to protest, to explain, but he kisses me.
His kiss showing his need, his frustration even.
I’m breathless when he releases me and unable to draw away.

"Gina.... Whatever it is that I've done or that you think I've done, I'll fix it.
Please don't go yet."

Perhaps he hasn’t done anything, but I have, plenty!
This isn’t the time for confession, confession isn’t necessary, he must know… he does know … and yet …

I’m pulled against his chest. He holds me securely.
I can feel his strength, the masculinity of his body and I want him, want him to love me, want it to be right, but it’s all spoiled, I’ve wrecked it time and time again and he just didn’t care enough to stop me.
I bury my head into his chest unable to stop the tears.

"Gina."

His voice is but a whisper.
I do not look up. I cannot bring myself to.
Gently he moves, sliding me beneath him.
His weight is upon me once more, forcing me to look up and meet his eyes.
His eyes are tender. He strokes my face, smudging the tear marks as struggle for composure.
He caresses my hair as I take a ragged breath.
I wonder if he remembers how I always loved the soothing feel of his hands running through my hair …
All the time our eyes are locked together.

His mouth covers mine again and we join in a passionate kiss, both of us urgently needing the reassurance of the other.
His hand moves to my breast as I gasp softly.
His fingers caress and play…

I close my eyes and give a soft moan, surrendering to the feeling of his fingers.
My body stretches and arches as he teases and caresses.
If he had become angry or forced me, I could have switched off, gone through the motions.
I was used to fucking. It was fun, but kept everyone at a safe distance.
But … this was so much more..
And I wanted it … I wanted him …

”Please.. Hugh … “

I whisper hoarsely as look up at him.
I’m dazed by my sudden reactions to my own husband.
Still, even now, I fear rejection.

My eyes open in vulnerable appeal knowing that if he hurts me now, I will never recover … this could be the beginning or the end…

”Hugh… I need you … “

My words mean so much more than just needing him to make love to me, but for now it is the feeling of him inside me again that I crave …

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

”Please.. Hugh … “

A whisper, hoarse in Gina's throat. I imagine a cold stake about to be thrust through my heart. I can't take another rejection, not now, please not that.

My eyes meet hers, but I don't see the coldness I fear, and then I hear the words I crave, that I need to hear.

”Hugh… I need you … “

I suddenly realize that I am looking at Gina like I had when we were first married. She is the woman that has always fired my lust.

I kiss her again and again. Hard and long, intermingled with soft and quick. I rise to my knees, looking down at her as I struggle to take off my shirt. I can feel myself breathing heavily through my nose. I can feel my nostrils flare as I take in her scent, recapturing the essence of her deep within my skull.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

Again and again;
I'm so showered with kisses, I'm breathless, but for the soft moans that are all but swallowed by Hugh's ravenous mouth.
Matching his hunger, my own mouth moves beneath his, trying to match his pace;
never knowing if the kiss will be light, short and teasing or hard, forceful and long.
Our breaths are consumed as our moans mingle.

Suddenly, I feel Hugh pull away and I open my eyes with a start.
My alarmed look turns to a soft smile as I watch Hugh begin to pull off his shirt.
Our eyes are locked on each other, both of us barely able to catch our breath.
My hand moves to help Hugh draw the material down over his arms. I capture the sleeve and pull it dropping it unheeded onto the floor.

Unable to remain passive beneath Hugh's hard body, I move my hands shyly to the waistband of his trousers and I fumble at the belt, colouring as I try to unbuckle him, clumsy as a gauche virgin.
I see Hugh smile tenderly before his hands join mine to unclip the belt, then withdraw leaving my fingers to move to the zip and ease it downwards.
I slip a hand into Hugh's pants and lightly squeeze his groin feeling the outline of his hard throbbing shaft

"MMmmmm ... Hugh.... "

I murmur appreciatively.

 

[ozme52]

Hugh

God!

It has been so long since Gina has touched me like that. I feel like I will burst through my shorts as Gina's hand traces along my length

I savor the feel of her fingers, first squeezing, then the light tickle of her nails through the cotton boxers.

Of there own accord, my hands reach down to undo the button of Gina's slacks, even as I unconsciously thrust my hips forward, further into Gina's hand.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Gina Adams

Hugh's hands are at my waistband.
In contrast to my fumblings, Hugh works deftly making light work of the button and zip.

All the time my hand strokes his throbbing manhood, thrilling at the feel of his hard masculinity.
I feel him push his hips forward to rub erotically against my hand as I tease, running my nails lightly against the material of his boxes, then slipping my hand down to gently weigh his balls in my palm before stroking his mighty shaft once more.

Hugh gives a hoarse moan, then pulls open my unzipped slacks revealing my scanty panties beneath.
I shiver and moan softly as he I feel his hand graze my abdomen touching the sensitive skin above my panties.
His touch is light and tantalising, though there is a smouldering look in his eyes as he looks downwards drinking in the view of my paritally stripped body.

I lift my hips in silent invitation.
I move my free hand to his ass squeezing, scoring it gently.
I feel his cock jump and give a final caress before moving that hand up to cup his ass.
I look up at him, seeing my own urgency mirrored in his expression: An urgency I have not felt for such a long time.
My fingers dig into his firm buttocks as I urge him downwards to grind into my groin.
I moan loudly as I feel his hardness brushing intimately against me.

"Mmmmm... yesss.... "

I moan, loving the way he now makes me ache for him.