Under Represented Aspects of BDSM Play

[EmilyMiller]

Tort Law and Vogon poetry.

Combined?

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

Here we go again…

Em

But sir! The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field surviving a Lit thread without Star Wars references are 3,720 to one

 

[onehitwanda]

Combined?

Em

while wearing deep, luxurious, crushed-velvet on certain parts of your body.

 

[MrPixel]

Negotiation. Aftercare. Safewording.

Key components of the scenes I have written, but not yet published. Soon, I hope.

MMC has built a dungeon (room) for his lovers which includes an icemaker for ice packs to be applied when the fun is winding down. And, of course, ice cubes for… yeah… oh yeah.

 

[Gamblnluck]

For me personally, the eroticism of BDSM play is the humiliation of loss of control. The mind game. Physical pain itself, inflicting or receiving is not the main issue. Real life events have to be consensual of course, but not so much in fiction.
As I've stated before, I hate to see the 'victim' destroyed.

 

[EmilyMiller]

But sir! The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field surviving a Lit thread without Star Wars references are 3,720 to one

You guys are just better at this than me.

I’ve moved on to Raiders references. Must have used “he/she was good, very good” at least three times in stories.

Em

 

[Euphony]

Here we go again…

Em

We doing flashback Fridays and nobody told me?

 

[onehitwanda]

You guys are just better at this than me.

I’ve moved on to Raiders references. Must have used “he/she was good, very good” at least three times in stories.

Em

https://i.makeagif.com/media/6-08-2021/88aegy.gif

 

[EmilyMiller]

We doing flashback Fridays and nobody told me?

View attachment 2289629

I get My Neighbor Totoro from that…

 

[onehitwanda]

https://i.makeagif.com/media/6-08-2021/88aegy.gif

God I love this movie so much.

 

[Euphony]

while wearing deep, luxurious, crushed-velvet on certain parts of your body.

Thread was going great, but now they make each other wetter
Still doing alright, but always with the Ts and As.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

 

[ronde]

I write BDSM, but seldom read it as few authors seem to embrace my highly-consensual and non-humiliating take on it,

Love the Greek strap line BTW .

Em

In my single foray into that category, it seems as if what readers want is a lot of "D" and "S" without much thought about the recipient of those activities and how he or she feels about it. I've done some significant research about the lifestyle and what I've realized is that BDSM isn't about the person administering the "D" and "S". It's about what the recipient wants and is comfortable with. That isn't to say the "giver" can't stretch the boundaries of the "recipient", because that does often happen. The catch is that the recipient has the ability to stop everything at any time. Unless the partners know each other very well, there's always a conversation beforehand where the likes and limits are voiced and agreed upon as well.

BDSM is just a way some people relate to each other at times. Often it doesn't involve any sexual activity. I would disagree about the humiliation thing, because that's an important part of the lifestyle for some. Think the woman who agrees to be a "slave" to her partner and does nothing unless she's told to, or the man who wants his "Master" or "Mistress" treats him like a pet animal. Both are "needs" the recipient has expressed to the giver.

I realize that Literotica is a place for fantasy, but it should also be a place for realism. In short, even though there seem to be a lot of readers who disagree, the truth is without the express consent of the recipient, it's not BDSM. It's too much like assault for me.

 

[onehitwanda]

View attachment 2289631

Thread was going great, but now they make each other wetter
Still doing alright, but always with the Ts and As.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

https://media.tenor.com/kkKmwSdyCLoAAAAd/sad-sea.gif

 

[EmilyMiller]

In my single foray into that category, it seems as if what readers want is a lot of "D" and "S" without much thought about the recipient of those activities and how he or she feels about it. I've done some significant research about the lifestyle and what I've realized is that BDSM isn't about the person administering the "D" and "S". It's about what the recipient wants and is comfortable with. That isn't to say the "giver" can't stretch the boundaries of the "recipient", because that does often happen. The catch is that the recipient has the ability to stop everything at any time. Unless the partners know each other very well, there's always a conversation beforehand where the likes and limits are voiced and agreed upon as well.

BDSM is just a way some people relate to each other at times. Often it doesn't involve any sexual activity. I would disagree about the humiliation thing, because that's an important part of the lifestyle for some. Think the woman who agrees to be a "slave" to her partner and does nothing unless she's told to, or the man who wants his "Master" or "Mistress" treats him like a pet animal. Both are "needs" the recipient has expressed to the giver.

I realize that Literotica is a place for fantasy, but it should also be a place for realism. In short, even though there seem to be a lot of readers who disagree, the truth is without the express consent of the recipient, it's not BDSM. It's too much like assault for me.

You are right. Though I’ve not been in the lifestyle for a long time. And it was a cloistered version of it in many ways. I was always with at least two people who knew me well and cared about me. I didn’t meet with randoms.

And, importantly. It was pretty infrequent. I write about it as obviously we are drawn to the extremes when creating a story.

Yes, some people like the slave aspect. But not me. It was exploring pain as pleasure and testing my limits for me. Psychologically, it was also about being the center of attention (yeah, I’m still a bit like that ). it always involved sex as well. It’s a different take I know. And it’s not what some want from BDSM.

Em

 

[PandemicReader8]

I know - sick, right?

I think BDSM is maybe a misnomer for my stuff. More restrained impact play and restrained [group] sex. So B and maybe M, but not so much D and S.

Em

The whole of the experience exists on multiple axes, where any given couple is comfortable is a very personal thing.

 

[PandemicReader8]

Thank you all! As much as I love my toys, I don't want to fall into the "new toy of the week" trap. It worked for Buffy and the X Files, but it's not -IMO - enough.

Agsin, thank you all for the input.

From what's been offered, I'm going to make sure to hit these *at a minimum*: Aftercare, Avoid Clairvoyance, Negotiation and Consent, Sense of Realism

 

[alohadave]

I’ve moved on to Raiders references. Must have used “he/she was good, very good” at least three times in stories.

Fly yes. Land, no.

 

[alohadave]

God I love this movie so much.

You should check this version that Stephen Soderburgh made.

https://extension765.com/blogs/soderblog/raiders

 

[EmilyMiller]

God I love this movie so much.

Everything after just highlighted how good the original was.

Must have been amazing to go see it at a theatre - when was it 80? 81?

Em

 

[MillieDynamite]

I play with bondage themes in my two Mr. Lucky stories and a couple of my Just a Friendly stories. However, I'm contemplating a new series dedicated to bondage (light bondage, of course). She's a Bully has a very mild bondage vibe, and I guess that will continue if I expand my gal-bully-verse.

 

[EroticCupcake]

I'm going to be "that guy" and link a story of mine.

I tried to explore what is the nature of "after care." I compare it to writers revealing their work and painters putting on a show. You are exchanging vulnerability for acceptance, and aftercare is the key component. I like this comparison, and I think it's worth revisiting.

If anyone would get this parallel, it should be a bunch of writers. If it doesn't land here, it won't land anywhere.

I also tried to capture three people going at the bdsm experience with different reasons and desires, and consequences when consent and direction is not adequately negotiated, even when all parties care for each other.


https://literotica.com/s/my-pretend-sex-slave-01

If there are any kinksters that read it and don't like it, I'd be curious to know more.

 

[DustofFallenStars]

I don't see much 'gentle domming', by which I mean kind caretaking and emotionally open dominance of what is often a withdrawn / shy 'little' sub. Mostly dominance tends to regress towards the master/slave dynamic, but there are other flavours of dominance and submission that are equally viable and valid (I tried to include aspects of this in the story linked in my sig, although the extent to which I was successful is up to debate).

 

[EmilyMiller]

while wearing deep, luxurious, crushed-velvet on certain parts of your body.

Oh, I’d missed this

 

[onehitwanda]

Oh, I’d missed this

I snuck it in there while you weren't looking... so to speak.

 

[Bramblethorn]

People needing to scratch five seconds after the ropes go on.

Things going wrong, and how the participants handle that.

Doms who aren't super-confident infallible telepaths and who don't carry their dom persona into everyday life.

Masochists who aren't submissive.