Update on oggbashan's health

[TarnishedPenny]

 

[oggbashan]

sounds like a good day to rest.

Maybe, but I know my time is finite. I have so many stories to complete and other off-line things to do and spend too much time on hospital visits.

Time is running out and resting seems a waste.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Maybe, but I know my time is finite. I have so many stories to complete and other off-line things to do and spend too much time on hospital visits.

Time is running out and resting seems a waste.

rest today, feel better tomorrow, then maybe get more done than you would in both days without the rest. Yes, your time is finite. So, defintely enjoy as much of it as you can as well as you can. But that may mean taking breaks on days you feel worse and haven't slept. That's no sign of weakness or waste. It's a way to manage what you have left to get the most out of it overall.

 

[trysail]

I got the latest issue of the New Yorker magazine yesterday, and found an essay there that might be of some interest to you. It was entitled "77 Sunset Me" (although the title for the on-line version is "The Art of Dying") and was written by Peter Schjeldahl, a critic who finds that he has a short time to live.

It's not a new story for you, of course, and it isn't a new story for the other fifty million or so who will be dying in the coming year. But I don't think I've read anything so insightful about the process of coming to terms with it. Schjeldahl is mostly concerned with how wrong he had been about what he thought he'd be experiencing, and how different the reality is. A sample:

"Death is like painting rather than sculpture, because it's seen from only one side. Monochrome--like the mausoleum-gray former Berlin Wall glamorized with graffiti. That's what I'm trying to do here.

"Swatted a fly the other day and thought, Outlived you.

If you're interested, the URL is:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/12/23/the-art-of-dying

LOL

The professional hand-wringer (Scott Simon, if you must know) on NPR interviewed Peter Schjeldahl on the radio this morning.


As was to be expected, Simon (the prototypical crusading journalist and professional world-saver) desperately tried to turn the interview into an op-ed by asking Schjeldahl if he had any regrets about smoking.


To his everlasting credit, Schjeldahl told Simon that, in essence, he's had 78 good years, that any remaining years wouldn't likely be as good and then went on to politely tell Simon to bugger off.


He wasn't about to let Scott Simon and NPR turn him into a morality tale and anti-smoking advertisement.





​

 

[vanmyers86]

I hope you're feeling better today, Ogg.

 

[JamesMiehoff]

Not a good day. I slept badly until about 8.30 am then back to sleep to 11. Once up I was very wobbly and eyesight bad - can barely see the screen even with glasses and eyepatch. This is a reaction to chemotherapy.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Without spellcheck I couldn't even post this.

Some trite little truisms:
* Nobody gets out of this game alive.
* As soon as you are born you begin to die.
* It's not in the nature of chemotherapy not to have side effects eventually.

I know it is not in your nature, but rest when you must. Overdoing it will just prolong the agony.

Years ago, a friend who was going through the older, less targeted chemo, told me, "I have bad days and good minutes." That was in the older days when they killed you 99% dead and tried to bring you back. He survived the chemo and when the cancer recurred 2 years later he opted for his own version of chemotherapy, Jack Daniels. I still raise a memorial glass of Captain Jack for Steve occasionally.

James

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Ever read The Dressiderata? One of my favorite poems.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Some trite little truisms:
* Nobody gets out of this game alive.
* As soon as you are born you begin to die.
* It's not in the nature of chemotherapy not to have side effects eventually.

I know it is not in your nature, but rest when you must. Overdoing it will just prolong the agony.

Years ago, a friend who was going through the older, less targeted chemo, told me, "I have bad days and good minutes." That was in the older days when they killed you 99% dead and tried to bring you back. He survived the chemo and when the cancer recurred 2 years later he opted for his own version of chemotherapy, Jack Daniels. I still raise a memorial glass of Captain Jack for Steve occasionally.

James

"I'm going to live forever, or die trying." -Groucho Marx

 

[fifty5]

What is the difference between a Trilby and a Fedora ?

Mostly, I think, the width of the brim, Fedoras have brims of 2" or so, like a Panama, but Trilbys have ones about 1".

The height of the crown may also be larger for Fedoras.

Later I saw Bramblethorn's far more detailed post, with pictures. I think mine was inadequate but not inaccurate.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Maybe, but I know my time is finite. I have so many stories to complete and other off-line things to do and spend too much time on hospital visits.

Time is running out and resting seems a waste.

 

[jehoram]

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

On the other hand, here's the last rites of the Bokononist religion, as told by Kurt Vonnegut in Cat's Cradle"

“God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the
sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look
around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly
couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to
think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and
look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen.”

 

[oggbashan]

Yesterday was better than the day before.

On Saturday I was operating at about 20%; yesterday about 60%. I managed to add a couple of hundred words to what would have been my ninth Winter Holidays entry and went to a restaurant with my wife in the evening. The restaurant was possibly too much. I was very unsteady on my feet when we left and it wasn't alcohol.

This morning? About 80%. One of the minor irritations is that because of long-standing back problems I can't get in and out of a bath. I have to shower but because of being unsteady on my feet most of the time that is very risky. I managed this morning.

 

[TxRad]

An old straight back wooden or metal chair in the shower solves the balance problem. Either sit or to have something to hold onto.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

An old straight back wooden or metal chair in the shower solves the balance problem. Either sit or to have something to hold onto.

Or you can put a sturdy plank across the tub to sit on. They can be purchased ready-made over here. Maybe your doctor's office could suggest a source.

Hugs, OGG.

 

[oggbashan]

An old straight back wooden or metal chair in the shower solves the balance problem. Either sit or to have something to hold onto.

Or you can put a sturdy plank across the tub to sit on. They can be purchased ready-made over here. Maybe your doctor's office could suggest a source.

Hugs, OGG.

I have a shower seat. I have fallen down beside it. A plank across the bath? I can't reach the water without toppling. What I might have to do is go to our local Age UK to have an assisted bath with hoist.

 

[Handley_Page]

Or you can put a sturdy plank across the tub to sit on. They can be purchased ready-made over here. Maybe your doctor's office could suggest a source.

Hugs, OGG.

I had added a sturdy plank to my bath and have to clean up the resulting mess, but it does work - after a fashion

 

[NaokoSmith]

rest today, feel better tomorrow, then maybe get more done than you would in both days without the rest.

Sound advice. (I often tell my students similar when they are poorly and trying to get a late assignment submitted. They ask me for one or two days extra, and if I think they're still ill I give them five.)

I have a shower seat. I have fallen down beside it. A plank across the bath? I can't reach the water without toppling. What I might have to do is go to our local Age UK to have an assisted bath with hoist.

An excellent idea. Ask for all the help and support you can, to make things easier on yourself.

 

[Handley_Page]

Ogg, Christmas Greetings, Thoughts & Prayers.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Happy Christmas, Ogg.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

My heart breaks and a tear
makes it's way across a slight smile
as I witness the grasping of each precious moment.

As my own health barrels down the circular slide of life
seeing this, I detest every petty excuse I use for not
getting something done.

My next breath is no more guaranteed than this
brilliant soul who has entertained us for years or a
newborn, basking under the warming light, who just joined us this morning.

Yet here we are. Celebrate each. Mourn all.
Leave words behind that may help the next.
May they smile when they hear your name.
For they know the path you've laid out
Will make for a journey most interesting.

--DiscoveringUtopia 12-25-19

 

[vanmyers86]

My best wishes for an especially beautiful Christmas, Ogg.

 

[oggbashan]

Grr! I've caught a head cold, probably from my last visit to a local supermarket.

It is irritating, annoying and because my immune system is depressed by chemotherapy could be very worrying. So far it is nothing more than a sniffle but I have to be careful.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Blessed Yule, Ogg.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Gezuntheit, Ogg. Kick that bug's butt back to the stone age...

 

[yukonnights]

Ogg; ...The doctors are reluctant to say how long I have got but the latest estimate is while I should reasonably expect to be around for Christmas 2019 I should assume that at best, even if chemotherapy works, I will not see Christmas 2020. I'd like to prove them wrong but not if I have to survive months in a hospital bed. I prefer to die with my boots on...

Ogg. I have seen this Thread for quite awhile but couldn't bring myself to post anything. Not because I didn't care, but out of weakness and a lack of words that could express my feelings. I still don't know what to say that would make either of us feel better.

How is it that we can become so attached to people so far away? You're the worst I think, but that's because you're so open and willingly vulnerable. I've loved your stories and I've loved your gentle continuity over these years that seem to have passed so quickly. Now I admire your bravery in the face of hardship.

My only consolation is that as you let us into your life over the years, I have seen a life well lived...and I've learned from that. You've seen and shared things that few of us would have known about had it not been for your written words offered here for free. I'm still learning from this that you are sharing with us now. Perhaps the best honor I can offer are the tears in my eyes at this moment as I write these words.

You know it already, but you are loved and respected here. May this season of hope fill you. May the love we all offer you be enough payment for all you have given us. I have been touched by cancer on more than one occasion, the most recent my wife and soul mate. But as you so wisely have said; We all die. I say; Death is part of Life. I think this Creation is perfectly made, thus death too is perfect. I also expect to find you writing away when (if?) I catch up to you up there — maybe then we will finally meet face to face. ~

Ogg

My own poem...

Farewell

So what if I am about to die?
I have lived my life and that’s no lie.

I have tried to help my fellow man,
doing what and when I can

Sometimes I have failed, it’s true
Perhaps I had no effect on you.

But I live to the last without regret
Remembering the best til I forget

When I’ve gone, remember me
Until you too cease to be.
__________________