Valentine's Villanelle Challenge

[Magnetron]

My sentences or trains of thought end with a natural pause at the end of a line or stanza. Anything I write has a pause between stanzas and a lengthier pause if it is a double or even triple spaced.

I write with the average reader in mind, not poets.

A new stanza mid-sentence or train of thought is a distraction to me. I immediately question why it is being done. There is a sensation that the writer is cramming words into a pre-packaged form. Whatever the case, the momentum in my mind becomes interrupted.

 

[Angeline]

My sentences or trains of thought end with a natural pause at the end of a line or stanza. Anything I write has a pause between stanzas and a lengthier pause if it is a double or even triple spaced.

I write with the average reader in mind, not poets.

A new stanza mid-sentence or train of thought is a distraction to me. I immediately question why it is being done. There is a sensation that the writer is cramming words into a pre-packaged form. Whatever the case, the momentum in my mind becomes interrupted.

Space on the page is key, too. Good point.

I write for myself though I change stuff if I get feedback that is way counter to what I intended.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Space on the page is key, too. Good point.

I write for myself though I change stuff if I get feedback that is way counter to what I intended.

I believe we all write for ourselves, but I think most, certainly all those who share their writing, are also thinking of the message/scene/image they want the piece to convey. Feedback is great because not only does it tell you if a piece was received as intended but it also can give you new interpretations that expand on or run counter to your original thought. That feedback can make you edit a piece, give you inspiration for a new piece or fall on deaf ears, lol, but it helps us realize little by little that no matter how we say a thing, someone or many someones are going to read something completely different into what we wrote. I love that about poetry. I love that you can say and mean one thing and I can hear and love a piece for an entirely different interpretation.

When I hear someone read a piece, I'm hearing not just the piece but that person's view of the piece and I'm learning about the person as well as the piece. The differences in reads, where people pause, which words they emphasize and how, the tone they use for the read all give me possible new insights into the piece and into the person reading the piece.

There's another aspect to these reads that I don't believe has been mentioned, the flub... I think most are doing the reads in one take straight through and that being the case there are bound to be unintentional pauses, slight stutters and other flubs, some of which we may believe are obvious because we know how we hear it in our heads, but to the listener they may appear deliberate rather than accidental. I know there was more than one piece I recorded that I wasn't 100% satisfied with the reading, but without editing (which I can do now ) there just wasn't going to be a read I was completely satisfied with.

We also haven't discussed the difference between recording pieces and doing live reads... Maybe we'll save that for the Let's Hear It thread, lol

 

[Trixareforkids]

My sentences or trains of thought end with a natural pause at the end of a line or stanza. Anything I write has a pause between stanzas and a lengthier pause if it is a double or even triple spaced.

I write with the average reader in mind, not poets.

A new stanza mid-sentence or train of thought is a distraction to me. I immediately question why it is being done. There is a sensation that the writer is cramming words into a pre-packaged form. Whatever the case, the momentum in my mind becomes interrupted.

I do that occasionally for two reasons, one because we sometimes come to a realization mid-thought that changes our track, speeds it up or slows it down, when that happens I'll break into a new stanza. The second reason is to relay the actual thought process, which includes pauses.

I personally generally ignore the spacing and line breaks of a piece on a first read. The first read is for content, if the content grabs me I'll read it again, this time paying attention to the breaks and spaces and see if they add to or change my original liking and grasp of the piece.

If I were getting paid to read something, I would read it as close to the way I thought it was intended to be read as possible. If I'm reading it because I like the piece, then I'm going to read it as I hear and interpret it because it's my interpretation that I enjoy

 

[UnderYourSpell]

You'll find some fabulous enjambments on here if you look, not only ones that go onto the next line but across stanzas too. Guilty Pleasures springs to mind but there are plenty more who have got it down to a T.

 

[Magnetron]

There are always exceptions. I'm not saying that it can't be done successfully. More often than not I've seen it done unsuccessfully.

Like some writers who stagger their lines by adding spaces or indents to the beginning. Or even stretch words. Or or or fudge with punctuation.

Some do it with great success.








Selfish is the Lover's Leap


He was numb

falling​

falling​

to his knees
calling out for Jen as she lay
neck

b r o k e

n​

a sprawling mess
sunny disposition distorted
sundress in tattered ruin torn
asunder were her bloodied legs, breasts and

But ...

... never did he utter a single,
When the heck did this happen?

... or better yet ...

How?!?

she had become
composed as if a mannequin in distress
shattered upon the pavement
disposed from a great height above

Such questions;
even questioning the very event itself
never crossed his mind
because

Now

at this very moment
despite the demise of his wife
the one and only love of his life
all he could think of was

himself

 

[Magnetron]

Then there are those who think poetry isn't poetry if it isn't spontaneous;

thus anything spontaneously flying out your asshole and onto a blank page in no particular fashion is poetry.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Then there are those who think poetry isn't poetry if it isn't spontaneous;

thus anything spontaneously flying out your asshole and onto a blank page in no particular fashion is poetry.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31q%2B2Ue9EdL._SL500_AA300_.jpgCurmudgeons of the world unite.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

You should try your hand at Concrete poetry

 

[greenmountaineer]

I gotta admit it. #34 is my favorite so far. Its fits so well the original suggestion, and I think most would agree that villanelles are a real challenge to write.

What the poet did in the first two lines of the last stanza was so imaginative. Alluding to the well known line in Thomas' villanelle to his dying father and turning into a valentine sealed the deal for me.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I gotta admit it. #34 is my favorite so far. Its fits so well the original suggestion, and I think most would agree that villanelles are a real challenge to write.

What the poet did in the first two lines of the last stanza was so imaginative. Alluding to the well known line in Thomas' villanelle to his dying father and turning into a valentine sealed the deal for me.

I was this close to guessing you as the author.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I gotta admit it. #34 is my favorite so far. Its fits so well the original suggestion, and I think most would agree that villanelles are a real challenge to write.

What the poet did in the first two lines of the last stanza was so imaginative. Alluding to the well known line in Thomas' villanelle to his dying father and turning into a valentine sealed the deal for me.

I was this close to guessing you as the author.

That's a nice compliment. I wish I was.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I keep coming back to #31, "Stardust Lullabye." The imagery is lovely and very consistent throughout the poem, and the repeated lines (not oppressive as they can be in a villanelle) are natural and soothing as in a lullaby.

That being said, I do think this poem is an example of the problem that Tzara mentioned in another thread:

I once had a poetry teacher tell me that starting a poem with a line in a definite meter, when the poem itself was free verse, was a mistake because it set up an expectation in the reader that the meter would continue.

The first two lines are in a graceful, flowing tetrameter, which returns intermittently as the poem continues. I think that it would be a useful exercise to tweak the poem -- it wouldn't take much -- so that the tetrameter continued throughout the poem.

 

[legerdemer]

#34 is just lovely, touching yet wry.

 

[Trixareforkids]

#30 is sweet and light and I believe it may be a Calli piece

#34 is lovely and seamless, beautifully done. I believe it belongs to Angeline.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I think that the trick to rockin' a villanelle is to make the repeated lines ironic, so that the reader gets a little more meaning from each each repetition. #37 (Miss Muse Don't Write No Love Letters) is a big success in that regard. I'm guessing Tzara.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

No fair, I know who some are but can't say!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Whoever wrote 35 has the patience of a saint!

 

[Klingsor]

.....

 

[Angeline]

*Crossing my fingers for a list of names soon.*

What an amazing array of poetry for this challenge. Forms galore!

 

[Piscator]

44 poems now posted and there are 15 authors (manyhave multiple submissions). Authors arranged alphabetically are:

Always Hungry
Angeline
Ashesh9
butters
champagne1982
greenmountaineer
Guilty Pleasure
HarryHill
Klingsor
legerdemer
Magnetron
Piscator
Remec
Sinseria
UnderYourSpell

 

[Sinseria]

*Crossing my fingers for a list of names soon.*

What an amazing array of poetry for this challenge. Forms galore!

heh I am hard pressed to guess whom wrote what lol! LOTS of good poetry there!

 

[Angeline]

44 poems now posted and there are 15 authors (manyhave multiple submissions). Authors arranged alphabetically are:

Always Hungry
Angeline
Ashesh9
butters
champagne1982
greenmountaineer
Guilty Pleasure
HarryHill
Klingsor
legerdemer
Magnetron
Piscator
Remec
Sinseria
UnderYourSpell

Many thanks.

heh I am hard pressed to guess whom wrote what lol! LOTS of good poetry there!

I think it shows a lot of versatility here. And I'll mess up on guessing most of them, no doubt lol. A few I know already--but only a few.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

What's an Americanadian sentence? Have I missed out on something?

 

[Lyricalli]

44 poems now posted and there are 15 authors (manyhave multiple submissions). Authors arranged alphabetically are:

Always Hungry
Angeline
Ashesh9
butters
champagne1982
greenmountaineer
Guilty Pleasure
HarryHill
Klingsor
legerdemer
Magnetron
Piscator
Remec
Sinseria
UnderYourSpell

And me.