Very important message on aftercare, please read

[Betticus]

Why? Take, for example, Aron Ralston.

With no water and as little hope of survival, Aspen mountaineer Aron Ralston, 27, used a pocketknife to amputate his own arm and free himself from a boulder weighing 800-1,000 pounds that fell and trapped him for five days in a remote desert canyon in eastern Utah.

Pinned in a 3-foot wide slot canyon near the Maze District of Canyonlands National Park south of Moab, Utah, Ralston cut through his own arm below the elbow Thursday morning, applying a tourniquet and administering first aid before rigging anchors and fixing a rope to rappel to the bottom of Blue John Canyon and hiking out to meet rescuers.

He sawed off his own arm with a pocketknife and was able to
-give first aid to himself
-rappel to the bottom of a canyon
-and hike to meet rescuers.

If a human is capable of all that, then why aren't you capable of even thinking properly after some sex?

They don't mention the thousands of hugs that guy has probably gotten after that, as well as during his hospital stay and rehab.

What do you think someone like this does after they whack off a limb and climb down a mountain to safety? Slam a few beers and then pass out only to wake up as if nothing happened.



For me I need lots of aftercare, especially after I get home from work. If I don't get a good belly rub then I get sad and cranky!

 

[the captians wench]

They don't mention the thousands of hugs that guy has probably gotten after that, as well as during his hospital stay and rehab.

What do you think someone like this does after they whack off a limb and climb down a mountain to safety? Slam a few beers and then pass out only to wake up as if nothing happened.



For me I need lots of aftercare, especially after I get home from work. If I don't get a good belly rub then I get sad and cranky!

That's what I was thinking. I mean, the guy most deffinitly had some sort of medical attention after all that.

And me personally, I have low blood sugar, so if there is an intence scene involved or just a long one my sugar can drop rather low and I physically can not move or think. I just get a spacy and who ever the beater is at the time had better go get me a spoon of peanut butter or something or I'll just pass out and then they have to call the medics. This actually happened in my last relationship as well, which was pure vanilla as they say. We had just been at it for so long that we ended up having to stop in the middle, grab a sandwhich, and then went back to fucking me silly.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Sorry to dispute you AA, but submissive doesn't mean weak. I have engaged in some high powered scenes and never required more aftercare than being asked if I had had enough to which I almost always respond "no" to, just like daddy taught me.

Aftercate in MHO is highly over rated and have found that yes perhaps I might need a wubbie after a session but only for heat retention as the rapid cool down leaves me chilled at times.

So if any of you Doms are thinking of offering me aftercare think on teasing my senses with comments like "...and for my next magical trick...watch me...." Use your devious minds to finish that one.

d

No need, or at least not until the "i don't need aftercare" individual would submit to a simultaneous session with Eb, Sd, and Netz. i've got a feeling between the reaming, energy pull, and God knows what Netz dreams up, this character would be begging for a wubbie in short order.

 

[WriterDom]

No need, or at least not until the "i don't need aftercare" individual would submit to a simultaneous session with Eb, Sd, and Netz. i've got a feeling between the reaming, energy pull, and God knows what Netz dreams up, this character would be begging for a wubbie in short order.

If he didn't safeword during the warm up.

 

[satindesire]

Where'd our troll go? I was hoping to see some sort of macabre rejoinder on his part.

 

[LunarKitten]

Where'd our troll go? I was hoping to see some sort of macabre rejoinder on his part.

Maybe too many serious posts on the subject?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Sorry to dispute you AA, but submissive doesn't mean weak.

Sorry to correct you, but at no time did i imply aftercare was for the weak.

 

[Shankara20]

Where'd our troll go? ....

getting some aftercare????

 

[snowy ciara]

I don't get it. They're mad because we're not taking it seriously enough, so we get serious and they bail... Cause judging by the response to my letter, they were very sure they were NOT a troll.

 

[the captians wench]

I don't get it. They're mad because we're not taking it seriously enough, so we get serious and they bail... Cause judging by the response to my letter, they were very sure they were NOT a troll.

maybe they realized the were a troll and it sent them into such a shock and now they are out in troll rehab. So they won't be able to contact the out side world for a while.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I would stand corrected if I did not believe that when you mentioned the character in question would be seeking a wubbie in short order if certain conditions were in effect. To me that implies weakness but perhaps that's just me.

d

Sorry to correct you, but at no time did i imply aftercare was for the weak.

 

[SpectreT]

If he didn't safeword during the warm up.

Hell, I'd have a massive internal struggle on my hands not to safeword just thinking about that lineup being encouraged to get creative on my ass - and other bits, and I'm reasonably sure they like me...

I know, I know, I'm a major wimp.

 

[Ebonyfire]

because it is a hot humid night in Kansas, there is nothing on TV and when the thread first surfaced not much else was happening here. I returned twice before being post #1 and the first to feed it.

I am so sorry everyone. I take full responsibility for not letting this thread starve when it was still young. I feel like poop. Can I get some aftercare?

I have something better in mind....

Eb

 

[DVS]

Of course I have. And I've never once needed aftercare.
I know it's hard for you to understand that there are people who do this that aren't total wusses, but there are.

OK, the first page is as far as I'm going with this thread, but I thought I'd leave my mark before I go.

Doms don't usually need aftercare. I never have. Oh, I've needed a drink to replenish my fluids or a good rest to catch my breath but a submissive is in a very different frame of mind and they can sometimes go into sub space. It's a deep mental state and it can be difficult to emerge from it, alone. Even if they can emrge from it on their own, it takes some time.

So, along with the need for a drink after their fluids have been diminished, they also need to recover from sub space. That is what's termed aftercare. Not all subs experience sub space, and as far as I can tell, there is no rule of thumb as to who will or who won't. But, there is also no rule for whether it makes someone a wussie or light weight, etc.

As for the tone of your posts, you are either a newbie dom (notice the lower case d?) or you are just a troll, as some of the other posters have decided. Whatever the case might be, no SS&C submissive who knows better would ever allow you to scene with her, if she was aware of the fact that she'd be considered a wuss, for needing aftercare.

Have you never had a BDSM experience where the sub was maybe a little dizzy or light headed, or wanted a drink of water after the scene? You know...if you never have, you might be doing something wrong. When the submissive doesn't experience at least a little need for some form of aftercare, she probably wasn't emotionally involved.

Say, did your sub just leave you because you called her a wuss for requesting some tenderness after a scene? Is that why you are so uptight about this, bub?

 

[Ebonyfire]

My take

My simple take on the subject is this.

1. If you need aftercare, you should get it. Your Dom/me should know you well enough to see to your needs at that point. If not you should not be playing with him or her.

2. If you do not need it, then good for you to each his or her own.

3. If you think it is for wusses, then that is your opinion, and you are welcome to it. Be sure to mention that opinion when you are interviewing submissives so they can run for the door.

Debating whether aftercare is needed is really a lesson in futility. Either you find it useful or you don't. It is a tool to be used or discarded.

One closing thought. The analogy used is not really sensible. A man who is in a life threatening situation cannot be compared with a submissive in subspace. For one thing the submissive is in a safe place, a safe situation that allows him or her to let go.

A man in peril for his life is not in a safe place and does not have the luxury of letting go cause if he does, he will die.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hell, I'd have a massive internal struggle on my hands not to safeword just thinking about that lineup being encouraged to get creative on my ass - and other bits, and I'm reasonably sure they like me...

I know, I know, I'm a major wimp.

You would live through the experience I am sure.

Eb

 

[Netzach]

No need, or at least not until the "i don't need aftercare" individual would submit to a simultaneous session with Eb, Sd, and Netz. i've got a feeling between the reaming, energy pull, and God knows what Netz dreams up, this character would be begging for a wubbie in short order.

Actually....


This is going to shock, but I kind of agree with the OP.

Not that aftercare is necessarily for the weak, but I think it's way way way overemployed, over-demanded, over-emphasized and overdone in a lot of situations. I'd never withold it, but I'd never play again with someone who has really extensive complicated neeeeeeeeeds post scene. I've quit playing with my girls often because the emotional drama was making ME need aftercare. And do you think most bottoms give a rats' ass about the Top after they've gotten their scene?

M gets some cuddles and kisses before he puts the toys away, but nothing above and beyond what I do sneaking up behind him when he's playing his game on a Wednesday night at home. H gets the distinct privilege of kissing my feet and thanking me for the scene before he packs up. I make sure they have water, and I've been known to just be sure they're ok and go and socialize while they pack up.

M brings his own bathrobe, and a snuggly blanket will never be part of my kit. If someone gets cold and needs it, they can pipe up and remember their own.

 

[tealsphynx]

I agree that aftercare should be adjusted based on the people playing and even on a scene by scene basis. There have been times I haven't been able emotionally to give the type of aftercare my sub needs, so I shorten the scene or change what happens so that we both have some good fun, but there isn't any deep emotional changes. Then there have been times that he's subspaced and I've hit a zone of my own and we both just lay and cuddle with him a shaking puddle in my arms. I don't think aftercare is always a necessity, just make sure you know your sub and his/her needs.

 

[Betticus]

I need some forecare afterplay dammit!

Or, I just love to be touched.

 

[satindesire]

I can't honestly see why this subject has gotten so heatedly opinionated. Just like some people like chocolate and some people hate it, some need aftercare and some don't. It doesn't make you any LESS of a person if you love chocolate, just like it doesn't make you a weak sub if you need aftercare. Being in subspace can be hard to get out of, and if someone's not there to make sure you're not turning into a drooling, fur-covered tribble cave-man thingamajigger, then you can very well end up a drooling, fur-covered tribble cave-man thingamajigger!

IMHO, Some people don't reach subspace sometimes and just don't need anything. Some people are more self-sufficant, whether they're Dom or Sub.

You may commense chasing me with pitchforks and flaming torches now ^_^

 

[SpectreT]

You would live through the experience I am sure.

Eb

So am I... Hence the struggle. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever be able to look in the mirror and call myself a Switch again... Something that rhymes with "switch", maybe...

Hijacking and flirting aside, Aftercare could be essential for some folks, for medical reasons if nothing else. That's what communication before playing is all about. And if you find you need a blankie and a big 'ol bottle of Gatorade(tm) after a scene, I'm with Netz, make sure you've got it. I've got no problem helping someone who needs it, including handing them their beverage and blanket, and If I'm playing with someone, snuggling is something I'd do... for both of us, but I'd expect someone to take some responsibility for their well-being (e.g., bring what you need). I'd bring a "crash kit" along, just in case, for those very reasons... Shit doesn't always go down the way you think it will.

 

[jadefirefly]

I find your ideas intriguing, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

You may commense chasing me with pitchforks and flaming torches now ^_^

*PERK*

FIREPLAY! Woooo-HOO!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Aftercare is for the weak.
You do not need it to function.

I surmise that the bee in your bonnet is the idea that aftercare _must_ follow a beating.

Sometimes I give it and sometimes I don't.

 

[shy slave]

Spew Alert!!!!!

Dear Troll-of-the-Month Club.

We are very disappointed in the quality of our latest trolls. You used to send us quality trolls, that were great fun to slice and dice and then grill over a slow fire. Then you started sending us GB rejects and schizophrenic tarts with more boobs than brains. At least with the Brinnie model, we had fun playing "guess who's got the Brinnie password this week!" Lately, you've been sending us cheezy white supremacists and to add insult to injury, we had to share them with the rest of Lit! But this latest troll is more of a pathetic troll wannabe; a pale imitation of real Troll energy. It's as if you've replaced my morning OJ with orange kool-aid! I suspect the latest twit you sent us is merely a recycled GB reject. It would be stupendous if you sent us a troll worthy of the rapier wit and sarcastic rejoinder the denizens of this forum have become known for.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

This made my day

Thanks snowy