We need a fourth word for love.

[AG31]

The classical 3 definitions for love are agape, self giving love, eros, desire, and philea, friendship.

I think we need a word for love that is both physical and positively oriented to an other. I don't consider desire (eros) as necessarily having a positive attitude "toward" an other. It's wanting them for your own pleasure.

For this fourth kind of love I'm think all the way from the impulse to hug one's partner on the part of a quadriplegic, to the throes of sexual ecstasy enjoyed by two people who are committed to each other. None of the 3 classical terms seem to cover that.

Thoughts?

 

[ElectricBlue]

The classical 3 definitions for love are agape, self giving love, eros, desire, and philea, friendship.

I think we need a word for love that is both physical and positively oriented to an other. I don't consider desire (eros) as necessarily having a positive attitude "toward" an other. It's wanting them for your own pleasure.

For this fourth kind of love I'm think all the way from the impulse to hug one's partner on the part of a quadriplegic, to the throes of sexual ecstasy enjoyed by two people who are committed to each other. None of the 3 classical terms seem to cover that.

Thoughts?

Read Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.

 

[BeechLeaf]

You've missed out a fourth Greek term, στοργή (storge), which is roughly the kind of thing you're asking about (though it doesn't have a specifically physical aspect).

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

The four gods of love in Greek mythos are:

Eros: the god of passionate love and sexual desire
Pothos: the god of yearning for something unattainable
Himeros: the god of physical desire
Anteros: the god of reciprocal or requited love (or not)

Might be a good place to start.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I am always very suspicious of anything that claims Language L1 has better ways of classifying than Language L2. The most naïve idea is that Greek had several words eros, philia, storge where English only has love, ergo Greek is better at classifying than English is. But look at the reality of what English has (and there's nothing special about English, we could pull out any other language's vocabulary here). What is the difference between love, liking, affection, desire, lust, passion, friendship, and no doubt we could come up with more? Languages don't divide things into neat groups, they have massive overlaps with no clear way of discriminating them.

 

[NuclearFairy]

I am always very suspicious of anything that claims Language L1 has better ways of classifying than Language L2. The most naïve idea is that Greek had several words eros, philia, storge where English only has love, ergo Greek is better at classifying than English is. But look at the reality of what English has (and there's nothing special about English, we could pull out any other language's vocabulary here). What is the difference between love, liking, affection, desire, lust, passion, friendship, and no doubt we could come up with more? Languages don't divide things into neat groups, they have massive overlaps with no clear way of discriminating them.

Yes, such as, infatuation, crush, fondness, adoration, devotion. If I looked up a thesaurus I'm sure I'd find even more.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Yes, such as, infatuation, crush, fondness, adoration, devotion. If I looked up a thesaurus I'm sure I'd find even more.

@EmilyMiller <- resident Thesaurus...

 

[SimonDoom]

Im at an age where I'm less interested in coming up with new words than I am in getting better using the ones we've got.

 

[AG31]

Read Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.

I think I did... Does it have a term?

 

[Husky_Embrace]

It is sad there's no English word for the Dutch "vrijen." It is best translated as "making love," but it is so much more.

Vrijen has the word "vrij" embedded, which translates to "free" or "freedom." It is an act done by any party of their own free will, with heavy connotations of love and appreciation. It can encompass any physical sexual action, from just a touch over the clothes to the most intense sex you can imagine. As long as it is done freely and with love.

It is an incredibly flexible, positive word. It is rarely taken out of it's context. Saying "I fucked that" with vrijen is exceedingly rare. It is the most positive word for a physical sexual situation I have encountered. If you've been vrijen, it carries a lot of positive emotional weight.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think I did... Does it have a term?

I don't remember. I read it decades ago. I don't know if I still have a copy, and I'm not going to look. But I do recall it being all encompassing at the time, sufficient for a nineteen year old' first philosophic navigation into the finer arts. I proba4 read Jung shortly after.

 

[NotWise]

"redamancy" is defined as fully requited love. Is that about what you're looking for? It's rarely used, and obsolete in some dictionaries, which may be a commentary in and of itself.

This is from the English Nook on WordPress.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Compersion is the feeling of joy, happiness, or empathy experienced when a loved one experiences pleasure, joy, or romantic/sexual love with someone else. Sometimes described as the "opposite of jealousy." Also mudita, from Sanskrit.

 

[SimonDoom]

Schlangelieben -- when your partner loves your pet snake as much as you do

 

[ElectricBlue]

Schlangelieben -- when your partner loves your pet snake as much as you do

Shouldn't that be schlongelieben?

 

[AG31]

"redamancy" is defined as fully requited love. Is that about what you're looking for? It's rarely used, and obsolete in some dictionaries, which may be a commentary in and of itself.

This is from the English Nook on WordPress.

View attachment 2609144

It doesn't reference the physical aspect that I included.

 

[AG31]

You've missed out a fourth Greek term, στοργή (storge), which is roughly the kind of thing you're asking about (though it doesn't have a specifically physical aspect).

The physical aspect is essential. It's what makes it different from philia.

 

[AG31]

What is the difference between love, liking, affection, desire, lust, passion, friendship,

love - too many meanings to be helpful here
liking, affection, friendship - no aspect of physicality
desire, lust, passion - no indication of positive feelings for an other (other than sexual)

 

[AG31]

Yes, such as, infatuation, crush, fondness, adoration, devotion. If I looked up a thesaurus I'm sure I'd find even more.

None of these words combine the physical with the positive attitude toward an other.

 

[AG31]

It is sad there's no English word for the Dutch "vrijen." It is best translated as "making love," but it is so much more.

Vrijen has the word "vrij" embedded, which translates to "free" or "freedom." It is an act done by any party of their own free will, with heavy connotations of love and appreciation. It can encompass any physical sexual action, from just a touch over the clothes to the most intense sex you can imagine. As long as it is done freely and with love.

It is an incredibly flexible, positive word. It is rarely taken out of it's context. Saying "I fucked that" with vrijen is exceedingly rare. It is the most positive word for a physical sexual situation I have encountered. If you've been vrijen, it carries a lot of positive emotional weight.

This definitely has possibilities. How do you pronounce it?

 

[SmilingLez]

Storgē?

 

[dirk2024]

Yes, such as, infatuation, crush, fondness, adoration, devotion. If I looked up a thesaurus I'm sure I'd find even more.

I like this word a lot and use variations of it in my stories.

 

[dirk2024]

Storgē?

Right? Sounds more like an act you do to someone rather than a feeling.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Schlangelieben -- when your partner loves your pet snake as much as you do

Biberliebhaber/in

: A beaver aficionado

 

[anthrodisiac]

That-Type-of-Love-When-Something-Awful-Happens-and-You-Just-Want-to-Hug-Your-Loved-Ones-and/or-You-Have-a-Great-Fuck-and-Feel-More-Connectedness.

One word.