What are the odds?

[SweetErika]

What are the odds of getting pregnant if you have unprotected sex infrequently mid-period (heavy flow)?

I'm not looking for exact statistics, though it's great if you have or can find them. I also know it's highly dependent on the partners, and a "slim/highly unlikely" isn't a guarantee, so I'm just shooting for an average.

Hubby and I are wondering how safe it might be to go without condoms during this time. It wouldn't be a hasty decision, as we're willing and able to deal with a pregnancy. However, that's not what we're hoping for right now, and this won't be a consideration if the odds are in favor of pregnancy.

Thanks!

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

 

[LadyJeanne]

I only have anecdotal evidence for you - I've had unprotected sex during my period and never got pregnant. Getting pregnant isn't as easy as all that. Yes, it's possible to get pregnant while on your period, but the reproductive process isn't really designed to do that.

For what it's worth.

 

[Eilan]

Erika, are you currently tracking your cycles, whether via pen and paper or through something like cyclespage.com? Do you have pretty regular periods to begin with? Do you tend to know when you're ovulating?

Not all women have the 28-day cycles that are considered the "ideal." That's why the rhythm, or calendar, method isn't an ideal BC method to use on its own, particularly for couples who aren't all that in tune with the woman's cycle. My periods, for example, are very regular, but I tend to have, on average, a 26-day cycle.

I did my homework when my hubby and I were trying to get pregnant because I knew that with the fertility issues on his end, we might have to focus more on timing. From what I was able to gather when I was researching all this, a woman's period, assuming that she's ovulating and all is going well in that regard, generally comes roughly 14 days after ovulation. It's the beginning of the cycle that's more likely to be irregular, which means ovulation might occur on day 10 of one cycle and day 12 of the next cycle, but once it occurs, one's period generally follows about two weeks later.

I'll add my anecdotal evidence to LadyJeanne's--I've never gotten pregnant on my period. When pregnancy was a concern for me, however, I did use condoms toward the end of my period, just in case the sperm decided to be particularly resilient. I'm obviously not saying that you can't get pregnant during this time, but I also knew when I tended to ovulate, and that for me, getting pregnant on my period wasn't likely to happen. That's doesn't mean that it can't happen.

YMMV, of course.

 

[keack1]

I always thought the egg needs to get fertilized in the tubes, if it reaches the uterus it is too late to be fertilized? And yes I realize anything is possible. The uterus is already lined and ready for the fertilized egg, and if there isn't a fertilized egg then it sheds the lining.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Maybe another way to think of it is, your odds of getting pregnant are the lowest at that time.

 

[SweetErika]

Yes, I'm tracking my cycles online with mymonthlycycles.com, and they've been very regular. For the past few months, I've been at 26 days with 4-6 day periods, although it's varied from 26-32 days in the last year or so. As far as I know, I've never been pregnant, and I do have PCOS, which could make pregnancy difficult-impossible, though my current regularity (which is medication-dependent) is suggesting I'm ovulating and in good shape fertility-wise.

Another medication has been messing with the discharge and that little ovarian-twitch feeling, so I can't exactly tell when I ovulate, but in the past it's been around day 10, I think. When I get off of this and we're actually trying for a kidlet, I'll pay a lot more attention. I'm guessing this drug and the amount of stress I've been under doesn't make me a prime pregnancy candidate right now, so that's one more thing in our favor.

Thanks for the info and anecdotal evidence! I think we may go ahead with it every once in awhile mid-period, and assume the risk. I'm allergic to spermicide, but might check into a diaphragm as an extra precaution at my upcoming annual anyway.

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

 

[Quoll]

Erika, I did a few searches on pregnancy during menstruation and most of them say the same as the quote below.
The bottom link is a pie chart that shows the relative risks of pregnancy at various times throughout your cycle.

The other thought I had was if you use an ovulation kit to determine how close to your period you are actually ovulating, the following link gives a fairly good rundown on kits, their pricing and how well they work when you are on different medication.
Ovulation Kit FAQ

Can you get pregnant during Menstruation?
Menstruation is the most unlikely time for pregnancy to occur in women who have regular period cycles, every 28-32 days. For women who have irregular periods, or cycles that are only 20-26 days, intercourse during menstruation can result in pregnancy for two reasons. First, sperm can live in the body for 3-5 days after intercourse has taken place. Second, a woman who has irregular or shorter cycles, can ovulate earlier, which would be closer to the time of menstruation.
Source:
“Menstruation,” The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. 1999.

http://www.sexdictionary.info/menstrualcycle_pregnancy.html

 

[SweetErika]

Erika, I did a few searches on pregnancy during menstruation and most of them say the same as the quote below.
The bottom link is a pie chart that shows the relative risks of pregnancy at various times throughout your cycle.

The other thought I had was if you use an ovulation kit to determine how close to your period you are actually ovulating, the following link gives a fairly good rundown on kits, their pricing and how well they work when you are on different medication.
Ovulation Kit FAQ

http://www.sexdictionary.info/menstrualcycle_pregnancy.html

Thanks, Quoll. 0.1% is a chance we're willing to take once in awhile. I'll look into the ovulation kits...that's something I hadn't thought of, but it'd help me get around the side effects of this drug, and will be useful in the future when we're trying.

We flew by the seat of our pants tonight, and I have to say, after being meticulous every single time for so many years, it felt very strange and vulnerable after. Not bad, but a huge change. I think it's going to be really neat when we start to try with a different goal in mind.

 

[SweetErika]

Just remember, SweetErika, try not to think about getting pregnant too much. I swear, it's a curse!

It's always fun to plan, though. That's the smart thing to do. Best wishes!

Oh, I promise you we're not. We won't worry until there's a reason to, no matter the result we're hoping for.

Now isn't an ideal time for a pregnancy, but we'll be fine if it happens, so perhaps this is something like "responsible irresponsibility."

 

[bobsgirl]

Thanks, Quoll. 0.1% is a chance we're willing to take once in awhile. I'll look into the ovulation kits...that's something I hadn't thought of, but it'd help me get around the side effects of this drug, and will be useful in the future when we're trying.

We flew by the seat of our pants tonight, and I have to say, after being meticulous every single time for so many years, it felt very strange and vulnerable after. Not bad, but a huge change. I think it's going to be really neat when we start to try with a different goal in mind.

It is really, really neat. Lovemaking is so much more intense and intimate when you both know that the act could result in a baby. Personally, those were some of the most erotic times for MrB and me.

Ah, memories...

 

[Eilan]

It is really, really neat. Lovemaking is so much more intense and intimate when you both know that the act could result in a baby. Personally, those were some of the most erotic times for MrB and me.

Ah, memories...

This was also the case for my hubby and me, even though we didn't expect to be successful.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I always thought the egg needs to get fertilized in the tubes, if it reaches the uterus it is too late to be fertilized? And yes I realize anything is possible. The uterus is already lined and ready for the fertilized egg, and if there isn't a fertilized egg then it sheds the lining.

Actually an egg being fertilized in the tube can be dangerous, if I recall correctly, as it can become stuck and clog things up.

 

[dcraz]

As so many have suggested here, you never really know for sure, mid cycle or not. And I could not agree more about the sensuality and intimacy of making love when trying or knowing that you might be bringing a child into this world. Might be the most precious feeling I have ever felt personally.

But it DOES bring up a rather funny story. When we had our first, my wife and I agreed it was time. Later when we were in bed, it was a very emotional time for both of us. Unitl I started laughing. She was NOT amused at my sudden amusement during what should be a most precious time for us both. I told her honestly, I could not help it. She asked me why I was laughing. So I told her.... I have spent my entire adult life tring NOT to get anyone pregnant. The idea of actually TRYING was somehow, suddenly very foreign to me. It felt odd and wrong in a way. She laughed and was a good sport about it all. Then we each took a deep breath and fell into the moment of intense, intimate love making it was supposed to be. It was one of the more memorable and special times in my life.

One other comment to make here. It (the likelyhood of becoming pregnant) depends almost as much on the two individuals as it does the time of the cycle. As many have shared, getting pregnant for many is not always easy. However, for my wife and I, all we have to do is wink at each other across the room and she was pregnant. I'm serious, we have to be two of THE most fertile folks on the planet. We know EXACTLY when both our children were conceived. And fortuantely for us, they were very intimate moments in which we were trying to make a baby.

 

[TBKahuna123]

It is really, really neat. Lovemaking is so much more intense and intimate when you both know that the act could result in a baby. Personally, those were some of the most erotic times for MrB and me.

Ah, memories...

God, I hope that's true. My wife and I are getting ready to start trying in earnest and I'm terrified that it's going to become mechanical "sex wiht a goal". We're both aware of that and trying hard to avoid that, but we have an issue. See, unless we spend some time together, it's just not as good, the intimacy just isn't there. With our schedules we don't spend more than an hour or two together a night, and that's half taken up with bitching about our days. Being tired at this point, we're more interested in sleep than sex.

The thing is, making love once a week is NOT going to get us pregnant, so we're looking at the fact that we HAVE to have sex when we may not be in the optimal mood. Either that or find some way to overcome the issues of needing time to get us in the mood.

I don't know, maybe something forcing us to deal with this so we can have sex more than once or twice a week is a good thing. I just want to make sure we have great sex more than once a week, not just a quick sperm deposit to fill in the blank on the chart.

Oh and Erika, if you are cycling regularly with PCOS, you still might not be ovulating. If you get tested and they conclude you ARE ovulating, then chances are you will be able to get pregnant just as easily as any other woman. One of my best friend's wife has PCOS and she has no trouble getting pregant, though she's had trouble staying pregnant becasue her PCOS was undiagnosed. As for getting pregnant during your period, as you have concluded it is highly unlikely. I would add though that if you do roll the dice and it happens, it was meant to. I have conluded though that the only time it's possible to get pregnant at the drop of a hat is when you don't want to. It's only when you are trying to get pregnant that it takes so damned much work.

 

[Eilan]

Actually an egg being fertilized in the tube can be dangerous, if I recall correctly, as it can become stuck and clog things up.

The egg is generally fertilized in the fallopian tube. Then the fertilized egg makes its way to the uterus, where it implants in the lining of the uterus. Except, obviously, in the case of an ectopic pregnancy.

 

[Guest]

 

[bisexplicit]

So, just a question, are you guys talking about having sex on your period when you're on a birth control pill? Or just, having sex on your period without any protection at all?

 

[bobsgirl]

This just might be the 2005 quote of the year:


How true. My wife and I had lived together for 3 1/2 years before our wedding day, and had decided to refrain from sex for a month before the wedding (not easy to do sleeping in the same bed.) On our wedding night (well, actually the next morning) in our attempt to make up for lost time, somewhere along the line we noticed that one of the condoms had a large tear in it. We had already talked at great lengths about wanting to have kids right after we married, so the condom breakage wasn't a big deal. We decided that our honeymoon was as good a time as ever to conceive. It didn't happen, but the intensity of the intimacy was incredible and something I still remember today.

Bobsgirl, Thanks for inspiring a few memories.


I believe thinking like this is going to add to your stress level.

may I suggest when the comes to start attempting to concieve, plan a weekend getaway for the two of you. But only plan where you will stay, don't plan anything else. Let things go as they may, keep your options open, set no expectations. When you're there, do things that are casual, like going out for pizza instead of a fancy dinner. Go for a walk and window shop instead of going to a mall or the "in" shopping outlets. Wear jeans and sweatshirts instead of suits and skirts. Be comfortable with each other and yourselves.

Go back to your room often, you'll have plenty of time to be intimate in between the other things you do. It's a chance to focus your time together since you won't have the normal distractions like the telephone, computer, bills to pay, and you won't feel like you have to do "everything" while you're there, since you didn't plan on doing anything except spend time together.

Just wing it and go with the flow.

I like this idea very much. I've always thought that our best sex took place during times when we had no expectations and no time constraints.

Although a quickie has its own appeal...

 

[Quoll]

God, I hope that's true. My wife and I are getting ready to start trying in earnest and I'm terrified that it's going to become mechanical "sex wiht a goal". We're both aware of that and trying hard to avoid that, but we have an issue. See, unless we spend some time together, it's just not as good, the intimacy just isn't there. With our schedules we don't spend more than an hour or two together a night, and that's half taken up with bitching about our days. Being tired at this point, we're more interested in sleep than sex.

The thing is, making love once a week is NOT going to get us pregnant, so we're looking at the fact that we HAVE to have sex when we may not be in the optimal mood. Either that or find some way to overcome the issues of needing time to get us in the mood.

I don't know, maybe something forcing us to deal with this so we can have sex more than once or twice a week is a good thing. I just want to make sure we have great sex more than once a week, not just a quick sperm deposit to fill in the blank on the chart.

Oh and Erika, if you are cycling regularly with PCOS, you still might not be ovulating. If you get tested and they conclude you ARE ovulating, then chances are you will be able to get pregnant just as easily as any other woman. One of my best friend's wife has PCOS and she has no trouble getting pregant, though she's had trouble staying pregnant becasue her PCOS was undiagnosed. As for getting pregnant during your period, as you have concluded it is highly unlikely. I would add though that if you do roll the dice and it happens, it was meant to. I have conluded though that the only time it's possible to get pregnant at the drop of a hat is when you don't want to. It's only when you are trying to get pregnant that it takes so damned much work.

My wife and I went through the whole trying to get pregnant thing for eight years so mechanical sex became the norm at certain times. (every second day while she was ovulating) It can be very frustrating especially when you are both exhausted after a long day at work and the last thing on your mind is sex. ( yes kiddies, it does happen ) We made it through this with both understanding and humour, the one thing we did on many occassions was to make a game of it, it became a bit of a contest to see who could go the longest without actually enjoying themselves. ("So are you having fun yet?' "Nope not me, how about you?" ) Do you have any idea how hard it is to make love to someone and not enjoy it? We also made a committment that if one of us was not interested the other partner had the right to take charge and do whatever was necessary to get the job done.
You may not be all that excited when you first start but I defy you to not enjoy it at the end.

[cliche] Just relax and enjoy the ride, the more you stress about it the harder it can become (pardon the untrue pun)[/cliche]
Both our kids were conceived during moments when we were totally relaxed and having fun.

 

[Quoll]

This just might be the 2005 quote of the year:

Originally Posted by bobsgirl
It is really, really neat. Lovemaking is so much more intense and intimate when you both know that the act could result in a baby. Personally, those were some of the most erotic times for MrB and me.

Ah, memories...

I agree totally, you just gave me a rush of very pleasant memories too bobsgirl.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I believe thinking like this is going to add to your stress level.

You're right on point dude, that's true, though until I read this thread I guess I hadn't really dwelled on it. This actually came up between us this weekend. The problem is basically this:

1.) My wife just doesn't get as turned on or really into sex unless we've spent a decent amount of quality time together. No problem for me, except for problem #2...

2.) We only get to spend a decent amount of quality time once, maybe twice, a week due to our schedules. Now we have some wonderful intimate moments together and killer sex, makign the most of our time together, but thisleads into #3...

3.) Twice a week isn't enough in a concerted effort to concieve. Our doctor's recommendation was every other day. Now, this sounds great to me, but not if I can't get my wife into it.

The answer is just finding a way for her to be able to get FULLY into making love without spending lots of time together first. I think this is feasible, since she agrees that we just need to find something and that if she relaxes a bit it should happen. I'm HOPING that just the idea of a concerted effort to concieve will be enough to spark her passion. The danger there is that if it doesn't work, will that kill her libido completely and send her spiralling into depression? These are the kind of fears that I have as we start to move forward here. Any ladies who've had trouble getting pregnant know how devestating this can be on a woman, or a man for that matter. While I am mentally prepared for this, and my wife says she is, I know that it's still a problem for her. I guess I'm just over protective and looking at the worst case scenario. Still, this is what's sitting in the back of my mind tormenting my otherwise content little brain.

Sorry Erika, for hijacking your thread.

 

[TBKahuna123]

The egg is generally fertilized in the fallopian tube. Then the fertilized egg makes its way to the uterus, where it implants in the lining of the uterus. Except, obviously, in the case of an ectopic pregnancy.

Really? Huh, I thought that was bad. I thought the egg attached to the uteran wall and was fertilized there. I guess one of the big scares for my wife has always been a tubal pregnancy, where a fertilized egg is stuck in the tube. I never was much of a biology guy, I was more into the physical sciences. Like Sex.

 

[TBKahuna123]

My wife and I went through the whole trying to get pregnant thing for eight years so mechanical sex became the norm at certain times. (every second day while she was ovulating) It can be very frustrating especially when you are both exhausted after a long day at work and the last thing on your mind is sex. ( yes kiddies, it does happen ) We made it through this with both understanding and humour, the one thing we did on many occassions was to make a game of it, it became a bit of a contest to see who could go the longest without actually enjoying themselves. ("So are you having fun yet?' "Nope not me, how about you?" ) Do you have any idea how hard it is to make love to someone and not enjoy it? We also made a committment that if one of us was not interested the other partner had the right to take charge and do whatever was necessary to get the job done.
You may not be all that excited when you first start but I defy you to not enjoy it at the end.

[cliche] Just relax and enjoy the ride, the more you stress about it the harder it can become (pardon the untrue pun)[/cliche]
Both our kids were conceived during moments when we were totally relaxed and having fun.

Thanks Quoll, that's very encouraging. Understanding and humor is about the same approach we've discussed briefly this weekend, so it's good to know we're on the right track. You also hit on another issue though, if you are stressed and not relaxed, I believe that does hamper conception, so the trick is finding a way to just relax and enjoy the whole process.

Thanks again dude, it's nice to know there's hope.