What do u look for? looks or personality?

[SIC]

well i am glad that there are other ppl out there that are with me. I think looks starts it all. Then its about the person inside.

I was wondering tho say you a really hot girl, would you go out with a really ugly guy just because of the personality?

I wont lie i have standards of how i like my women to look and i am sure that everyone else does here too. Like i dont think that many ppl would marry a big fat lazy guy even tho he has a great personality? Because with the big fat guy thats lazy you are going to be limited i would think.

I would say most go by looks from the start and then when you get to know the person then you can tell fine there for you or not and go from there.

 

[Voodoo Child]

wish i had have put a poll on this now cause it would have been 100% personality by the looks of the replys..

maybe then, some ego's would be deflated when they realise they'll never find anyone find anyone for life based on their looks alone. not sayin that all hot girls aren't good to talk to but i find that "normal" girls are more down to earth and friendlier and basically don't have it in their head that their too good for you

 

[IMsoBRAM]

i wish that i always cared more about personality...but 80 percent of the time i got for the better looking:/ i know it makes me a bad person

Hi, I'm JD...and I'm shallow

JD

 

[ExplicitAngel]

Hi, I'm JD...and I'm shallow
JD

Hi JD, I'm EA, and I'm shallow too.

Looks to me are really important IRL, when you are first meeting/getting to know someone, and for me, its even more important if I'm looking for a long term thing. I would have sex with a guy who was, I hesitate to say but can't think of a better word, 'ugly', but I couldn't be in a long term relationship with someone who was unattractive to me. I'd be constantly focusing on their unattractive points, not their good ones, and thats not fair on them.

I'm not saying that personality isn't important, because it is, I'm just saying that I'd hold out for someone who was attractive AND had personality.

I'm sorry, can't help it, its the way I am.

 

[calantha]

hmmm

I would have to say personality all the way!!

I went the looks way before and turned out to be a VERY bad situation.. now I have my fiance, he's funny and I love him a lot. He has a personality.. what's on the inside is what matters the most.

 

[Noor]

In looks I go for the twinkle in the eye, an easy smile.

One thing I really like about getting to know people via phone or on line, and I have been meeting people this way for many years, is that I am not swayed either way by their appearance. When I finally meet them in person I already like them so I am biased toward their appearance.

Like that song
"do I love you because you're beautiful
or are you beautiful because I love you"
I choose the latter, they could be beautiful by objective means too I guess but that is irrelevant to me.

 

[Lukie]

great question!

well, you have to admit...that looks can draw a person in....but to me, it's personality that will keep me there...if the person is funny...then I want to stay. If the person isn't sexy - atleast she/he can make you laugh!

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Like a lot of people before me, IRL, it's the eyes that draw their attention to me.

Personality on the other hand is what keeps my attention.

It's interesting how people will chat online , sometimes for years, get to know each other, maybe have deep feelings for each other, and may never know what the other person looks like.

There are a few people here on Lit that I find attractive, without ever having seen their face.

The few people I've talked to online, chatted with them, and then met in real life are still very attractive to me, because of whothey are, even if they might not fit in with the generic definition of beauty.

Personality in the long run is what does it for me.

 

[Guest]

Looks attracts the eye, but personality attracts the mind, heart and soul.

 

[capricious_chic]

The greatest thing about this question is that it assumes you have to have one or the other. You can have both.

Someone may be completely bangin' and have all of the physical requirements that meets the ideal in your minds eye, yet be so dull that you cringe every time you talk to them so that it becomes a "baby, just don't say anything - ok" relationship.

Someone may have the intelligence, wit, and personality that keeps you engaged for days - yet the idea of fucking them leaves you cold.

Looks, personality, wit, humor, a certain look in the eye, the way they walk, the way they smell - who knows what will ultimately draw you to another person.

Those that say looks will usually qualify it w/some answer about needing to be able to converse - those that say personality will usually qualify it w/some answer about needing to be attracted to them physically.

In the end - we need both, all of the above, or some combination of all.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree with capricious_chic that I'll often go for both looks and personality, but the deciding factor always comes down to personality for me.

A person can be physically attractive, but if they are unkind, stupid, or just have a bad personality in general, it's a major turn-off, and that person will become much less attractive in my eyes. However, a conventionally unattractive person who has a wonderful mind and personality becomes more and more physically attractive to me as I get to know them. So, while looks (even a great smile or eyes) are what attracts me to a person sometimes, personality is really what gets me in a relationship....and bed.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

^_^() really I can say looks don't even come into play with me. I only date friends so appearence coming into play when approaching someone has never been a problem. *shrugs* then again I'm not a very sexual person myself and don't 'check out' people for the most part. Appearence as a whole, not just in dating, doesn't really matter to me. ^_^ I'm quite abnormal and I'm happy for it!

Of course appearence is topping on the cake, I'm with a girl who is as beautiful as she is smart and witty and I wouldn't have her any other way *hugs CG*

-Zergplex

 

[WhiskeyRiver]

For me it takes both appearance and personality. I may find a person physically attractive, but be disgusted by them because of their personality.

I'm more attracted to a person who doesnt let their appearance go to their head; humility is very important.

Over blown ego will drive me away quickly, I have no desire to hear a person spew about how great looking they are, or how much more intelligent than everyone else they are. Complete turn offs for me.

Intelligence is important also; I wouldn't disregard someone for lack of intelligence, but it does make a person much more attractive to me.

 

[Mogwai7]

[Removed]

 

[Taten]

A combination of both looks and personality. While appearance will make me give someone a second look their personality will ultimately be what holds my interest.

 

[LadyJeanne]

When I was in my early 20's, looks were important in getting my attention, and would carry the relationship for a while until I got to know the guy and discovered whether I really enjoyed him or not. Now that I'm in my 30's, it actually works the other way around - I pay attention to their looks only after their personality has attracted me... somehow, they're all handsome to me then.

 

[Tchalla]

I have a question to all of you that say that personality is what you look for.

Have you gone out with someone that you found completely physically unattractive?

I personally wouldn't ask someone out that I was not physically attracted to. For me if the physical attraction isn't there in the beginning, I won't go out with them. This doesn't mean that they have to be a 10; they just can't be a 1.

What keeps me with the person is their intelligence and personality.

 

[Cattle Kate]

Have you gone out with someone that you found completely physically unattractive?

He wasn't completely physically unattractive. I would give him a 2 or 3. But I did one better, I married him. His wit, charm and personality more than made up for his looks.

In fact, he's still one of the most attractive people I know!!

 

[Xt4cY]

I also vote for personality.

I'm in college n all, i've found most girls to be looks oriented...i'm shy personally so i don't approach people, but when a girl walks up to me and starts talking to me and is nice and polite and sweet then i'm all theirs. Unfortunately there's like zero girls like that out there.

I've met my current girl friend through our parents, due to the fact that i'm a geek and her parents wanted me to buy and teach how to use a computer. The rest's is history

If someone's looking for a relationship, how many people actually give a second glance at a girl who looks like a bimbo? and dresses like one?

As far as looks i'm all about the inocent angelic look. A girl with a sweet cute face and a skit that goes further than her ass. maybe a business look. then my mind goes wild, but even then surprisingly more often than not fantasies have more substance than reality

 

[Pro_e1337]

Well in all honesty, you dont notice a fun personality across the room or in a concert. The looks is what gets the door open, the personality is what keeps it open. It is one thing to be dateing a hot person but to be dateing a person that you like is completely diffrent.
So in short, personality is what i am voteing for.

 

[Grail]

*scratches head a bit* This will sound a little odd....but well...for me it's kinda both. I'll enlighten you all with a little story.

Couple years ago (when I was in high school) I was the kind of kid that would drool over a nice chest...hot face...I mean if I saw a girl walking down the hall wearing a tanktop and flopping around everywhere (chest wise) I was like "Haaaaaduhhhh @_@"

but alas I am not the standard "hot" guy, so all the girl's didn't pay two cnets to me

Well...right now I can tell you (since I'm about to be 19 years old ) that all that changed with just one girl...she dind't have a chest on her...and she was...cute...not hot, not beautiful...but cute. I don't know what did it for me, and I don't even want to know...but something about the way she acts, the way she talks...it drives me absolutely crazy...her personality is like...completely and utterly different than any other girl I've known

Long story short: Probably a mix of both...as long as the girl's cute (not drop dead gorgeous) and her personality clicks something in my head, I'll date her

Sad story: I can't get that girl I like >_<

 

[browncow]

I must say. Looks.

hear me out.

When you are looking around for someone the first thing that catches your eye is looks. I believe that without both there is no relationship. You need to reel them in somehow, then keep them there with personality. Looks doesn't mean drop dead gorgeous, it just means something about appearance that catches your eye.

Looks = bait
Personality = the net

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Tchalla
I have a question to all of you that say that personality is what you look for.

Have you gone out with someone that you found completely physically unattractive?

The only time looks have been an obstacle was when I was very young, in university, there was a guy that worked on the student newspaper with me that was clearly enamoured of me. I liked him a lot, but as a friend only. It was clear he liked me differently, would have liked more. He wasn't ugly but there was just something about him....it's been a while, I can't even say it was his looks...may have been part of his personality...but there was something there that told me I couldn't be attracted to him as he'd like...I was just honest with him....hopefully kind...and just let him know where I stood...hoped he could accept what I could offer...and that I was sorry if that hurt him.

Hasn't happened since. I've joked that my ex was handsome from the neck down...hehe...but don't think that counts as 'completely' physically unattractive.

 

[DLL]

In this corner, weighing heavily on the subconscious, the guy with the great sense of humor, it's Mr. Personality.

His opponent and to the right is light on his feet and easy on the eyes. Here's Prince Charming himself, Mr. Looks.

Who's going to this battle? With the Beholder acting as referee, it's a toss-up. If this were pro wrestling, they'd both be fakes and you be screwed either way.

I think most women are in favor of personality. A good sense of humor will surely win the heart of a good woman. But who here has ever spotted a man across the room and said, "Hey, look at the sense of humor on that one ?
Jules in Pulp Fiction said it best when he stated that personality goes a long way. Looks do fade, but you're stuck with your personality forever. I think women crave substance.
It's a well known fact that men are visually driven beasts, but not all of them are after one night stands. After lust at first sight, men need something to keep them hanging around.
As with everything, there are some exceptions. It's all a matter of taste, I guess. So, what's more important: personality or looks? Neither and both. Practice good hygiene, read a few books, and pray that luck is on your side. If you feel yourself drawn to someone, chalk it up to chemistry. Or anatomy. Or biology. And try not to dissect your date before you get to first base.

BTW...let me add another twist to this ..what if the person wasnt quite so good looking but very rich does that sway ones decision???

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by DLL
BTW...let me add another twist to this ..what if the person wasnt quite so good looking but very rich does that sway ones decision???

Surely DLL you're not suggesting any of us are prostitutes....accepting money for sexual favours?