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What the hell…Chilly’s little spot on lit

Therapy homework…ask for help. I was taught in my marriage not to ask for help because no one had time for my bullshit. So I don’t ask for help. Last summer I had a panic attack and I asked for help. I got help. I was scared and excited knowing I could ask for help. Then that person left and never looked back. I’m back to not asking for help. Why make myself vulnerable, why lean on someone else? I really don’t know if I can do this.
 
Chillygirl said:
Therapy homework…ask for help. I was taught in my marriage not to ask for help because no one had time for my bullshit. So I don’t ask for help. Last summer I had a panic attack and I asked for help. I got help. I was scared and excited knowing I could ask for help. Then that person left and never looked back. I’m back to not asking for help. Why make myself vulnerable, why lean on someone else? I really don’t know if I can do this.
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First. 🤗🤗🤗 tight.

I felt this statement. My whole life, I was always pushed to become self-reliant. Even when I married and started to help raise my kids, the same thing.
Therapy has helped because it has helped me realize I am not an island. But still....
Trust is hard. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is hard. Being hurt sucks.
I'm sorry @Chillygirl . You deserve so much better.
 
Chillygirl said:
Therapy homework…ask for help. I was taught in my marriage not to ask for help because no one had time for my bullshit. So I don’t ask for help. Last summer I had a panic attack and I asked for help. I got help. I was scared and excited knowing I could ask for help. Then that person left and never looked back. I’m back to not asking for help. Why make myself vulnerable, why lean on someone else? I really don’t know if I can do this.
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you reached out, took the chance to reveal some vulnerability and someone reached out to help you. Then they let you go. Not a very good thing to do. We hurt and hide. It seems easier that way. If you are alone, no one can hear you cry.

But you need to reach out. PM someone and chat. Go and get a cup of coffee and chat with someone. We are pack animals and need a tribe. Remember, you are wonderful, you just need to find someone who sees the beauty in you that you know is there.
 
putting this out there and it’s hard for me because i’m a man but iv been in a mentally abusive marriage and it’s really broke me down about who i am and who i used to be and asking for help is hard meeting new people and having to confidence to try agian
 
Chillygirl said:
lol the cynical side of me wants to say you probably already had her and tossed her aside…most guys do.

But the hopeless romantic in me says I hope you find your person!
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I was with a woman for 18 years and she left me for her ex-husband. Kinda stings when you get dumped for a loser, unemployed child molester.
 
Chillygirl said:
Therapy homework…ask for help. I was taught in my marriage not to ask for help because no one had time for my bullshit. So I don’t ask for help. Last summer I had a panic attack and I asked for help. I got help. I was scared and excited knowing I could ask for help. Then that person left and never looked back. I’m back to not asking for help. Why make myself vulnerable, why lean on someone else? I really don’t know if I can do this.
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I'm notorious for looking for loop holes in my homework.
So, this one for instance... The homework is to ask for help..but not what kind of help. Start small. Really small. Then take it one step at a time and you'll work your way up there to being more vulnerable again without the pressure.
 
FunLi said:
I'm notorious for looking for loop holes in my homework.
So, this one for instance... The homework is to ask for help..but not what kind of help. Start small. Really small. Then take it one step at a time and you'll work your way up there to being more vulnerable again without the pressure.
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I didn’t ask but let my friend and her husband help me move. She knew I’d never ask so she just told me they were going to help. That was a huge step for me. And yeah I’m looking for loopholes lol
 
Chillygirl said:
Therapy homework…ask for help. I was taught in my marriage not to ask for help because no one had time for my bullshit. So I don’t ask for help. Last summer I had a panic attack and I asked for help. I got help. I was scared and excited knowing I could ask for help. Then that person left and never looked back. I’m back to not asking for help. Why make myself vulnerable, why lean on someone else? I really don’t know if I can do this.
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You have all of us darlin.
 
Chillygirl said:
I didn’t ask but let my friend and her husband help me move. She knew I’d never ask so she just told me they were going to help. That was a huge step for me. And yeah I’m looking for loopholes lol
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As someone who also doesn't like to ask for help..I don't like accepting offers for help or 'allowing' it either..it all counts as the same in my book. I'd say that's a win and you're off to a great start.
 
FunLi said:
As someone who also doesn't like to ask for help..I don't like accepting offers for help or 'allowing' it either..it all counts as the same in my book. I'd say that's a win and you're off to a great start.
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Ugh yes I hate accepting help!
 
Chillygirl said:
Of course I wouldn’t think twice but there’s a bit more going on than you’re aware of. Because if my experiences I don’t trust anyone enough to be vulnerable enough to ask for help.
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I just wanted to show you that you are a good person. I'm with ccs, your exes are not men. Male by birth, but useless as men. You need a big brother to whip some ass for you and give you a hug.
 
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