What the Hell? Are you kidding me? No Way! I don't believe this.

[SusanJillParker]

Is this what it's like to be courted like a multinational corporation or jillionaire donor?

I feel giddy.

Okay. Okay. I lied.

I was just hoping to get better placement when my story post.

I know, you know, now that I think of it, I could probably get you a 7 figure position as a lobbyist say...in exchange for a Green E or two or three or four.

You could lobby for the Republicans and lobby for stuff that they really don't care about and that will never be approved, such as, such as clean air, clean water, and entitlements such as unemployment compensation for those who are unemployed, disability insurance for those who can't work, Social Security for the elderly, and welfare for single mothers.

Sorry. I didn't mean to make this a political thread.

Wait. Before you ship me off to the political forum, let me get my car keys to my new Cadillac.

Okay, go ahead. I'm ready to get the boot.

Bye AH authors. (Damn, that AH could literally mean something else.)

 

[SusanJillParker]

I've actually been to Ulaanbaatar.

Actually, I've been everywhere...in my head.

That's the beauty of writing fiction.

 

[SusanJillParker]

We rode the Transiberian Railway from Moscow to Beijing, through Mongolia. Spent like 30 minutes at the Ulaanbaatar train station. Bought rocks from orphan kids. One of them spoke English. Read up about them later, and found out that a few winters back the authorities closed the subway up at night to keep out the homeless orphan children and many of them died. Grim place. Dry & dusty. But great people.

Highly recommend the Transiberian Railway to everybody. Not a luxury train by any stretch. A very affordable and awesome life experience.

Not to one up you but...I rode the Swan Boat in Boston's public garden.

Yeah, I know. Sorry to make you envious.

...And I rode the Duck Boat down Newbury Street during both the Red Sox parade and the Patriots parade.

Truly, you have not been anywhere until you've been to Boston.

 

[Messier82]

The Penguins leave piles of poo everywhere.

An extremely valuable resource - guano is widely acknowledged as the world's best fertiliser.

 

[SusanJillParker]

No. We just booked the straight-through trip with a single stop in Siberia (which was rad). If I'm ever lucky enough to do that trip again (unlikely), I would 1) do it reverse, Beijing to Moscow (just for a change), and 2) do stay-overs in Ulaanbaatar and at Lake Baikal. AND bring a Kindle with a crapload of books, because days aboard a train are very very long long.

Beijing? Moscow?

Just wondering, is this now considered a political thread?

Because, unless you're giving me a bribe, (5 Green E's) then I'll close my eyes to the politics of this thread.

To quote Sergeant Shultz of Hogan Heroes, "I hear nothing. I see nothing. I know nothing."

Thank you in advance for the Green E's.

I've already talked to Speaker Boehner about your lobbying job.

Good luck.

 

[oggbashan]

Um, Henry VIII? Okay?

Listen Hank, if I may be familiar with you, I always wondered why you killed Anne Boleyn.

True she was a plotter and a planner and wasn't very sincere but be honest, Henry, wasn't she good in the royal sack?

She was so wicked pretty.

By the way, you look wicked good for your age. You haven't aged a day since...the Tudors were in control.

She was good. Too good with too many others.

But her main fault? She didn't give me a son.

 

[oggbashan]

...

Truly, you have not been anywhere until you've been to Boston.

One of my sons-in-law is in Boston now, visiting his American cousins. He's taken his three-year-old daughter to see them.

That son-in-law and my daughter went on the Trans-Siberian Railway as a honeymoon trip, staying in Ulan Bator for a couple of days.

 

[SusanJillParker]

She was good. Too good with too many others.

But her main fault? She didn't give me a son.

So sorry Sire.

I'm just glad I'm not your wife (lol).

"Wait! Don't chop off my head. What if I give you a Royal blowjob...every day, three times a day?"

"Okay, okay, release the wench. Now sucketh my royal cock bitch."

 

[SusanJillParker]

One of my sons-in-law is in Boston now, visiting his American cousins. He's taken his three-year-old daughter to see them.

That son-in-law and my daughter went on the Trans-Siberian Railway as a honeymoon trip, staying in Ulan Bator for a couple of days.

You know...come closer to the screen so that not everyone can read this but...

Boston has a long, loyal history with the IRA. We smuggled guns across the pond for Ireland. Oh, wait, never mind. You're not from Ireland. You're English. Shit! Sorry your Majesty.

 

[oggbashan]

You know...come closer to the screen so that not everyone can read this but...

Boston has a long, loyal history with the IRA. We smuggled guns across the pond for Ireland. Oh, wait, never mind. You're not from Ireland. You're English. Shit! Sorry your Majesty.

I may be English but some of my relations, and my wife's relations came from Ireland.

When I was a manager I had staff in Belfast - and Dublin.

When I was much younger I was thrown out of a Protestant bar in Belfast for dancing with a member of their staff. He was their security guard.

I went to a Catholic bar instead. They threw me out for being English (and drunk!).

 

[ElectricBlue]

Isn't that the most spectacular train ride! I went Beijing-Ulan Bator-Lake Baikal- Moscow, then down through Poland, East Germany, and through to Calais, in 1984. Was in Beijing when Reagan famously left his microphone on during his Voice of America sound check: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've just bombed Moscow..." Now that was interesting!

Real Cold War stuff, with Russian border guards and Mongol soldiers with AK 47s. It's no wonder the Chinese built their Walls - those little Mongolian soldiers looked 'mean'!

EB

We rode the Transiberian Railway from Moscow to Beijing, through Mongolia. Spent like 30 minutes at the Ulaanbaatar train station. Bought rocks from orphan kids. One of them spoke English. Read up about them later, and found out that a few winters back the authorities closed the subway up at night to keep out the homeless orphan children and many of them died. Grim place. Dry & dusty. But great people.

Highly recommend the Transiberian Railway to everybody. Not a luxury train by any stretch. A very affordable and awesome life experience.

 

[SusanJillParker]

For those of you who are wondering what happened to my political threads, they were moved from the Authors' Hangout in St. Louis, Missouri to the Political Thread in Washington, D.C.

You can find them there, in the political forum instead of here in the Authors' Hangout.

For those of you who are angry that my threads were moved and I was systematically booted from the Authors' Hangout, I'm not angry. Please stop sending me e-mails.

I thank you for your kind support but there's nothing that I can do. It's out of my hands. If you're unhappy with the move and in the way that I'm unfairly treated by fellow authors, send a polite PM to Laurel entitled, Give a Green E to SJP.

In the meantime, please stop sending me money for my political campaign. Sorry but I am not running for political office. And if my name is written in on the ballot and if I win over Hillary, Bush, or Trump, I will not serve.

I plan on donating the thousands of dollars that I've received already to Democratic charities, such as Stop the Handgun Lunacy, Water Guns Instead of Handguns, and Sarah Palin for Celebrity Host at the Oscars.

Thank you again for your continued support. God bless you all. I love you.

 

[jaF0]

I was with you until you invoked Caribou Barbie.

Now, if you signed her up as a porn star ......

 

[SusanJillParker]

I was with you until you invoked Caribou Barbie.

Now, if you signed her up as a porn star ......

Are you kidding me? I love Caribou Barbie. She's the favorite Barbie doll in my collection.

Wait. Can you see me through my monitor? How did you know I was holding Caribou Barbie in my hands?

 

[jaF0]

I can see through that blue dress too.

 

[TxRad]

I can see through that blue dress too.

Freddie loves his blue dress.

 

[lovecraft68]

Freddie loves his blue dress.

Maybe Freddie will become lit's Caitlyn Jenner

 

[SusanJillParker]

First there was one and now there is two.

I don't have to name names when they can't wait to expose themselves.

Some men don't like the fact that I'm a woman who writes erotica. Not that they're gay but some men just don't like women nor do they show any respect for women.

Why do I write erotica when most women don't? Why do I write erotica when most men do?

Because I was sexually abused from the ages of 5 to 15 by 7 different men. Then, I married a man, who's now my ex, who physically abused me.

Even after years of therapy, here I am writing erotica on a porn board. Go figure.

Yet, as if I had a sign on my forehead that read, abuse me, it's not enough that I suffered, endured, and survived all that horrific sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, I still must suffer the poisonous words from men who don't think that I'm a woman.

What can I say but screw them. If it makes them feel better to think that I'm a man, who cares?

Using one of my brother's name, I posted as a man in 2007 & 2008 as BostonFictionWriter. Why? I was scared to death to post as a woman and to post as myself.

Then, after someone hacked my Facebook page and posted personal information about me in the AH forum boards, I closed my Facebook page and reported him to Laurel. She removed his posts but the damage was done. Already outed as a woman instead of a man, I started posting stories in 2011 under my real name, SusanJillParker.

Don't believe me? Just ask Laurel who she makes out the winning checks too when I won the Survivor contest in 2011, 2013, and 2014 and when I finished 3rd in 2013. Don't know? I'll give you a hint. SJP.

That's right. The first couple of winning checks back in 2007, 2008, and 2010 she made out to my brother. Then, starting in 2011, Laurel made out the winning $500 checks to me, Susan Jill Parker.

Thank you so very much TxRad for allowing to clear my name. You have a good time having sex with your farm animals later. I love you.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hey, I didn't say whether you would be adding or subtracting.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

Hateship? Can you explain this one?

 

[TxRad]

Sorry Freddie, you're the same guy you were way back then. You can reinvent yourself all you want but it doesn't change who and what you are. But then again writers are like that. liars with typing skills. If only it wasn't for a certain thread.

In any case, happy birthday.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Sorry. Pardon me but I can't stop laughing.

In more than 4 years as SusanJillParker, I have 639 posts on the forum boards, most of those were to the Survivor contest thread.

Yet, sr71plt, pretend pilot, has 38,936 mean spirited, critical posts,

HateShip has 24,103 moronic, nonsensical posts,

And TxRag, a lesbian pretending to be a man has 30,142 forum posts.

That's 93,181 posts to my 639 posts (lmao). You're kidding right? Seriously? Where's your argument?

Are my few hundred posts so threatening to you that you pee yourselves like the little bitches that you? Why are you so afraid of me? Is it because the three of you combined don't have a creative thought in your heads and I always get the better of you in an argument? Is that it? Is that why you cry foul.

Listen, I'm sorry that you three stoogies are stupid. I'm sorry that you cannot write an original thought. I'm sorry that you don't have my education or possess my class. I'm sorry for you. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be any of you, never mind when the three of you merge together to attack me as if I'm a monster.

Even when I wrote as BostonFictionWriter back in 2007 & 2008, I only had 3,500 posts and nearly all of those were on the Survivor contest thread.

Yet, even when I minded my own business and posted to a contest thread that Pilot snubbed his nose at, he followed me to the thread and attacked me.

Yet, I'm the troublemaker. I'm the only writer who should be banned from the site.

Listen gentleman and madam, if I add all of your stories, I've posted nearly twice the amount of stories than the three of you combined.

Because people were stealing my stories, I've deleted more stories from BostonFictionWriter than HateCraft and TxRag have written combined.

I don't come here for trouble, yet, every single time I make a post, I have pretend pilot, hatecraft, and TxRag up my ass attacking me. I'm here to write stories and once in a great while, I make a post. Yet, every time I post anything, you three attack me.

I don't bother you. I don't go looking for your post to bother you. I don't post after you make a post and attack you, yet you three attack me over and over again. Then, you have the nerve to point your finger at me for starting trouble (lol).

Guess what you three stoogies, I'm not leaving. After what I've been through in my life, you've never met a tougher broad than me. You dig? Bitches!

"Laurel, under the new rules, please ban sr71plt, loveshit, and TxRag from the site. Thank you, Laurel."

 

[sr71plt]

Yep, that's our Freddie.

 

[Sammael Bard]

Maybe Freddie will become lit's Caitlyn Jenner

LMAO.

You've got to love the moxie with which he defends his femininity.