What to do with tied up guy?

[andrrea123]

Sooooo this guy that I've been sleeping with says he wants me to tie him up / blindfold him and have my way with him.

We tried to do this last weekend but I'm not sure that it was what he expected / wanted.

The evening started out with a massage for him. I had him on his stomach while I was stradling him and se said he loved it. After I blindfolded him I flipped him over and tied his hands over his head. I teased him a bit with some kissing / licking / sucking before heading to his penis. I also had a feather that I lightly tickled him with and some whipped cream I licked off of him. I rode him for a bit but he kept taking over when I was teasing him. I finished him off with a blow job since that was part of his fantasy.

When I asked him about it he said he absolutely loved it but I'm not so sure. I'm not very imaginative so I'm wondering if there's other stuff I could / should have done?

Also, I think I'm too submissive for this type of play, and he's generally a lot more dominant when we have sex, so any tips for role reversal???

 

[fire_breeze]

Sooooo this guy that I've been sleeping with says he wants me to tie him up / blindfold him and have my way with him.

We tried to do this last weekend but I'm not sure that it was what he expected / wanted.

The evening started out with a massage for him. I had him on his stomach while I was stradling him and se said he loved it. After I blindfolded him I flipped him over and tied his hands over his head. I teased him a bit with some kissing / licking / sucking before heading to his penis. I also had a feather that I lightly tickled him with and some whipped cream I licked off of him. I rode him for a bit but he kept taking over when I was teasing him. I finished him off with a blow job since that was part of his fantasy.

When I asked him about it he said he absolutely loved it but I'm not so sure. I'm not very imaginative so I'm wondering if there's other stuff I could / should have done?

Also, I think I'm too submissive for this type of play, and he's generally a lot more dominant when we have sex, so any tips for role reversal???

Welcome to Lit

Ask him. Any type of play should come with a lot of communication - so ask him what are his fantasies, what he enjoys about being tied up. There is nothing that you 'should' or 'should not' done within the realm and being safe sane and consensual. What rocks one person's boat will not rock another. So ask him. Have him point out stories that excite him. Tie him up and make him tell you his dirtiest fantasy. Do not let him take over. Experiment. And communicate some more.

Also, if he said that he loved it, why doubt his words, unless it was obvious that he was lying? Ask him what he enjoyed the most, what he didn't enjoy. Read his body language when you do play and make sure you get feedback. It's in HIS best interest for him to be honest with you - so encourage honesty.

As for being too submissive - I can understand your apprehension, but there is so such a thing as topping from the bottom, which you may try. Also, how about doing things that YOU want to do to him? He is at your mercy, so to speak. Do you want to tease him and then deny his orgasm? Play with sensations? Torture him? What do YOU want to do? Make sure you have his (and your) hard limits in mind, establish a safe word, communicate communicate communicate and have fun.

You may also want to check out the BDSM Talk and Cafe and the Library for further ideas.

 

[monkeyman057]

I agree. Communication is important. You need to get him to open up about what he likes and what he wants.

Personally - when I ask to be tied up its because I'm in a submissive mood. I want her to take control. I want her to have fun. Sometimes I want to be hurt - sometimes I want to be treated more gently - sometimes I just want her to feel free to enjoy herself. But I have to convey those things to my wife or she doesn't know how or what to deliver.

The suggestion about having him point out some stories that turn him on is a great one. That way if he's shy about his fantasies someone else can do the talking for him. But there should be some kind of communication going on.

Of course if he said he loved it, you could just take his word for it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

When I asked him about it he said he absolutely loved it but I'm not so sure. I'm not very imaginative so I'm wondering if there's other stuff I could / should have done?

You could ask him to describe a fantasy in more detail - or point him at the BDSM section on Lit and ask him to find suitable stories (though that might involve a lot of filtering).

 

[andrrea123]

Thanks everyone!!!!

I like the suggestion about having him read some stories on Lit!!!

We did talk about about limits / desires etc prior to engaging but I didn't really get to much out of the desires piece from him

While he was tied up I did try to get him to tell me what he wanted me to do - I was holding his penis at that point and kind of rubbing along me but not inserting it. His answer was "anything". It kind of annoyed me.

And yes, I could totally take his word for it, but I'm thinking that he just loved the massage part of the night

 

[nkdjim2]

wants

Just a thought, it could be that he might want to have some ass play, possibly penetration by you by using a strap-on and he is hesitant to ask.

 

[GrrlFriday]

While he was tied up I did try to get him to tell me what he wanted me to do - I was holding his penis at that point and kind of rubbing along me but not inserting it. His answer was "anything". It kind of annoyed me.

It could be that by 'anything', he was hoping to give you free rein... that his fantasy would be you exploring/teasing, doing what you want to... which would hopefully include him cumming at some later point in the evening.

You could also have a think about what you like about being submissive with him, tell him about what you like. See if there's any common ground with what he wants from being submissive and what you like about being submissive. Then you can try and make that environment for him.

It sounds like he was just deliriously happy that you were trying things, and that he wants to encourage you to try more - point him at some erotic literature. Read some yourself, and pass on what you like. And check out the BDSM boards, they're a wealth of information.

 

[andrrea123]

I'll definitely check out the erotic stories and BDSM boards, although he did say that no pain was one of his things.

I do need some ideas though, I just find it hard to tease a guy

 

[Deleted member 1405174]

I'll definitely check out the erotic stories and BDSM boards, although he did say that no pain was one of his things.

I do need some ideas though, I just find it hard to tease a guy

I enjoy being oiled up and pumped very slowly, stopping before I explode several times, then finally an explosive finish.

Another idea is to suck him right up to the point of explosion and leave the room for a few minutes, that drives me nuts!!

Finally, anything involving your breasts would be enjoyable.

 

[SweetErika]

I'll definitely check out the erotic stories and BDSM boards, although he did say that no pain was one of his things.

I do need some ideas though, I just find it hard to tease a guy

OK, what are his other limits?

Overall, my advice is to be what probably feels like 'incredibly selfish' to you while respecting his limits. If you feel like doing something, go for it. Look at it as using him for your own pleasure, rather than trying to please him. Hopefully that will take the pressure off of you and allow you both to enjoy the experience. As long as you respect his boundaries, there's a >99% chance that he will enjoy it if you truly get into it and enjoy it, so your enjoyment needs to be your aim. If you like seeing his reactions, go around your house and grab stuff that will produce a variety of sensations (warm/cold, soft/rough, light/firm, etc.). If you want stimulation, take charge of his mouth and/or cock in various ways. If you're curious about anal/prostate stimulation, go for it (do make sure you know what you're doing so you don't harm him first, obviously).

I hope that helps, and have a great, safe time!

 

[EmaEsmerelda]

Whatever you do....don't untie him!

hahaha- Couldn't resist. First times are almost always awkward sugar, so don't worry too much. In my experience, when you want to talk about what to do or what went wrong, doing so in a comfortable, calm, not sexual environment is best- and just come out and say it. No really- blurt it out instead of sugar coating it like women do when talking to each other. OH! and in a situation that isn't your thing, I have found it majorly helpful to think of an actress or a character that would do something like this- then do what she has done or would do! Best of luck dear!

 

[DrHappy]

Here are some ideas that come to mind for a girl to do with a guy while he is tied up on his back:

• Force him to give you oral sex. Straddle his face and tell him what to do with his tongue.
• Go back and forth between intercourse (cowgirl woman on top), and him giving you oral sex.
• Go back and forth between intercourse and you giving him oral sex
• Go back and forth between reverse cowgirl intercourse and 69.
• Make him give you oral sex after he has had an orgasm inside you. Make sure that he is okay with this ahead of time. Consider having him cum while you are in reverse cowgirl, and this moving your hips backward into a 69.

 

[marcap]

I have never been tied up, however the idea does appeal to me. For me, I like the idea of giving all control to my partner, including the decisions of which acts will be performed. I would essentially want to be completely used for my partner's sexual pleasure.

DrHappy's list above would be a great start, especially the bit about straddling his face and directing him on how to orally please you. Good job, Dr.

To the OP, good luck and have fun!

 

[djyak]

What not to do with a tied up guy? The last session I did with hubby being tied, we were on cam. I tied him to the chair, danced for him in my stockings and garter, rubbing all over him. His hands were tied in the chair behind his back. I then played with dildo, and rode it on cam in front of him, leaning over to him until he couldn't take it anymore, then I rode him, still tied up. He loved it!

This is a lot more to it, but didn't want to take up the whole space.....

Tifani

 

[loquere]

Let him free!

 

[djyak]

Let him free!

Oh no, no. I love to tease him, rubbing my nipples all over his face, grabbing him, watching him squirm!

Tifani

 

[Lord Pmann]

If your guy says he enjoys it, then he probably enjoys it. You were a) naked, b) blowing him and c) riding him. What's not to like? Guys are usually a bit more forward about what they like. If you did something that sucked, he would probably say it.

It's really not hard to tease a guy. You pretty much just get us worked up and then you make us cum when you want us to cum. That's how it works.

Good on you for having such a willing attitude.

 

[subwannabe]

I second the idea of him reading some Lit stories and letting you read the ones he likes. I would also recommend making him really horny by stroking him slowly while he is tied up and them asking him what he wants while he is extremely aroused. It sounds like you started to go down this road once but didn't make it all the way. This is a difficult area because he wants you to take control with him not having to choreograph the whole scene while at the same time there is no way for you to know what lurks in his mind without him telling you. Everyone one is so different. One size doesn't fit all.

 

[andrrea123]

Thanks everyone LOTS of great ideas!!!

You guys are awesome!!!

 

[MadWriter]

I remember a similar situation ... I don't think I was tied up, but it was definitely "me time" for my wife. I was lying still and letting her just play with my ... parts. The single hottest thing she did was to straddle my face and bend down to take my erection into her mouth ... I could smell her wetness and feel her pubic hair tickling my face ... But when I lifted my face to lick her, she said no. No touching. It was an incredible tease!

And it would have been equally incredible if the opposite took place ... if she ~forced~ herself onto my lips and tongue.

Just a thought ... ~smile~

 

[KlaytonFrost]

I like the idea of tying him up and then going through a whole performance in front of him. Touching yourself, undressing, masturbating, all that. Really let the anticipation build before you even touch him. String it out as long as possible. I imagine for someone who likes to be tied this would be fun. Haha, I'm enjoying just thinking about it.

 

[dashd]

What to do with tied up guy..... anything you want.

My preferences would include being fed a creampie, maybe some mild CBT some pegging but as for what your guy would like you to do I couldn't tell you. You might try asking but my guess is he might not tell you what he's really hoping you'd do but you never know until you ask.

 

[Deleted member 1405174]

Thanks everyone LOTS of great ideas!!!

You guys are awesome!!!

Please tell us what you've tried and how it went!!!

 

[DogInTheSnow]

Orgasm control. Depending on how he likes to be played with can be incredible. Especially with making him please you. Drag on and on the orgasm by never letting him cum and then after prolonged teasing finally give him release.

Have him tied up and please him to the very brink of orgasm then stop touching him altogether. Tell him he can't have his until you get yours and make him please you. Stop him from doing it and tease him as if you've changed your mind. The dramatic changes in pleasing and being pleased make for an interesting experience.

Stroke him off in unconventional ways: grind your body on his penis, lube him up and stroke him with your hands in varying speeds, grips and stroke lengths, feet, masturbator toys, etc.

Your imagination is the limit!

 

[OutofTune]

Throw him over a bridge?

(sorry couldn't resist...)